In case you haven’t noticed, I kinda like horror movies. Hell, I wrote an entire dissertation on the subject in my OG blog, starting with embarrassingly-innocuous, unintentionally scary stuff that terrified me as a kid to more heady fright fare. For ten years I paid homage to the horror films that scared me spitless during the formative years of my life.
One of those movies was Tobe Hooper's seminal 1974 horror film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Between the grimy production design, documentary-style cinematography, seamless performances and unrelenting pace, it's a flick that you don't so much watch as endure.
So, when it was announced that renowned online horror retailer Trick or Treat Studios was producing a Texas Chainsaw Massacre board game designed by the same dude who brought us the promising-but-flawed Alien: Fate of the Nostromo, I added it to my pre-order list quicker than ol' Leatherface dropped Kirk like a bad habit.
So, what's the (meat) hook with this one? Well, I'll let the cooks at the ol' T&T roadside diner grind it out for me:
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a game of horror (Editor: Really? You don't say! LOL!) from designer Scott Rogers. The players' van has run out of gas, leaving them stranded and at the mercy of the Slaughter family! Work together and push your luck to escape. In this cooperative game, all players win or lose as a group. Pull tokens from a gruesome bag to take actions - but be careful, pulling too many may antagonize the Slaughter family! Player Count: 1-4, Play Time: 60 Minutes, Age Range: 14+
Need to read the fine print on that dodgy-looking menu? Then click on the following link to find out if the "Franklin Fricassee" is gluten free via the game's lean rulebook, (sausage) linked right hur.
TURN OVERVIEW
MOVE
Take up to two free Move actions.
DRAW
Draw tokens from the "Hideous Bag" until you choose to stop or you draw three of a kind of the same token, which ends your turn immediately.
ACTION
Perform one Action for every Action Token drawn. Actions include Move, Search, Push a Character or Pick Up a revealed Token on your space or an adjacent space.
CLEANUP
Place all Scavenged and drawn tokens back into the bag.
***
PLAY-THOUGH
NOTE: I played the game without "Slaughter Mode" but with one Objective per character.
Franklin Turn One
MOVE - Franklin wheels out of the Van onto the right-most entrance point. He proceeds onto the shoulder of the road, adding one Bones tokens to the Tray.
DRAW - He gets one Action, two Leatherface and two Bone Tokens. Leatherface tears through the Metal Door space and into the Hall, “breaking through” the intact door there and flipping it to its damaged side.
ACTION - Franklin uses his Action token to wheel one more space, revealing another Bone pile. Since he’s now stuck in the Brambles, he takes a Blood Splatter.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn One
MOVE - She follows in her brother’s wheelchair tracks, moving two spaces right behind him.
DRAW - She ends up pulling two Bones and a single Action. Also Leatheface moves twice, wrecking the front door in the process. The Cook’s gonna be pissed.
ACTION - Sally spends her Action token to move into Franklin’s space. Unfortunately, she’s also stuck in the Brambles and takes a wound.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Big Ed Turn One
MOVE - Our boi crosses the road by the Truck, Scavenging another Bones token. (NOTE: as far as I can tell, the Truck is only harmful if it moves into a Character’s space, not vice versa.)
DRAW - He pulls a Leatherface token and the ogre moves southwest. He then gets three consecutive Bones tokens, ending his turn and resulting in a Blood Spatter from those persistently-thorny Brambles.
ACTION - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Two
MOVE - As Franklin pushes himself eastward, the Hideous Bag’s complexion gets even worse, with a Leatherface and a Bones token being added in.
DRAW - A Leatherface token is drawn, so he moves to the crossroads. Soon he’s gonna hafta choose between chasing Sally or Ed. Next he pulls an Action token, so he decides to stop.
ACTION - He moves one space to the Graveyard and adds an Eye token to the tray.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Two
MOVE - Sally books it two spaces towards her brother, ending up one space behind him.
DRAW - She retrieves a Bones token and then one for ol’ Bubba. He moves a space towards Ed and is now literally just one space away. She draws an Action then stops!
ACTION - Our heroine moves one space to the Graveyard.
*** OBJECTIVE COMPLETE ***
Franklin’s “Reports of Grave Robbing” Objective, which requires him to get to the Graveyard with one other Character, is done!
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Big Ed Turn Two
MOVE - Ed runs screaming off to the northwest, leaving Junior in the dust, adding a Slaughter Family Token and an Eye Token to the Tray.
DRAW - He pulls two Bones tokens and a Leatherface, so Bubba falls into hot pursuit. Next he gets an Eye token and checks the Dining Room, revealing a Slaughter Family Token, which just adds another big dollop of "NOPE" to that miserable warren. Finally he gets an Action token and stops!
ACTION - Ed runs towards the Diner, stumbling upon some Gas, which he promptly snags.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Three
MOVE - Monsieur Hardesty stays put, looking to use his Special Ability to Search the Graveyard.
DRAW - Leatherface, two Bones and yet another Leatherface...yikes! Ed’s in trouble! Franklin doesn’t want to risk pulling a third Leatherface token, so he stops!
ACTION - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Three
MOVE - Sally strikes off by herself, heading northeast towards the Generator and Scavenging a Photo and an Action Token for the Tray!
DRAW - She gets two Bones and a Leatherface! The maniac moves into Ed’s space, wounding him in the process. Since he now has two Blood Splatters, Ed Flees two spaces east. Now that there's a bit of space between Leatherface and Ed, Sally keeps drawing. She gets an Eye, so she looks at the Dry Lake, revealing Photos. She gets another Eye and looks at the space just south of the Lake and reveals an Action! Hmmmm...veddy tempting! She then pulls a Slaughter Family Token, which is placed on Grandpa’s first space. She finishes up by pulling her third Bones token, thus ending her turn.
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Big Ed Turn Three
MOVE - Ed motors two spaces past the pile of Abandoned Cars, revealing a Slaughter Family Token and an Action Token for the tray.
DRAW - He removes two Bones then a Leatherface token, so Junior moves one space, still pursuing Ed. (NOTE: I assume the rule where Leatherface has to change focus to a new victim after causing someone to flee only applies if he moves again on the same turn) A Photo Token is pulled, allowing him to look at the top card of the Search Deck. It’s a “Flashlight”, which he returns to the top of the deck. After he moves the Truck one space along the highway, Leatherface moves again...damn! Ed decides to end it there.
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Four
MOVE - Knowing that the Draw Bag is absolutely toxic right now, Franklin heads north two spaces, adding a badly-needed Action Token to the Tray.
DRAW - Leatherface moves...again he’s one space away from Ed! Franklin then pulls Bones and a badly-needed Action. He decides to stop.
ACTIONS - Grande Edward moves one space north, revealing an Eye for the Tray.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Five
MOVE- She moves past the Generator and approaches the house, somehow collecting two more Bones en route!
DRAW - Sally gets a Bones, an Action and a Slaughter token in quick succession, the latter of which adds Grandpa to the Dining Room! She doesn’t want to endanger Ed any further, so she decides to stop.
ACTIONS - She chooses to go north one space, which reveals and adds another Leatherface token to the Tray! FFS!!!
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Big Ed - Turn Five
MOVE- The big man bolts along the northern hemisphere of the map, turning up two Slaughter Tokens for the tray! Seriously, can the contents of this bag possibly get any nastier?
DRAW - He pulls two Bones and an Action and decides to stop.
ACTIONS - Ed uses his Action to move, finally adding a precious Action Token to the Tray.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Six
MOVE - Hoping to dilute the wretched contents of the Hideous Bag, Franklin doggedly maneuvers two spaces along the front of the house, adding Bones and an Action token to the Tray.
DRAW - He pulls one Action, one Leatherface (who moves towards Ed), one Photo (which lets him look at the "Flashlight" and move the Truck), one more Action, Bones and a third Action. Impressive!
ACTIONS - Who would have thought the wheelchair-bound dude would also be the speediest Character? Maybe these three Moves represent his roll down the hill at the start of the film? Whatever the rationale, Franklin adds a Slaughter Token and two (!!!) more Actions to the Tray! Unfortunately, this also puts him precariously close to Leatherface!
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Six
MOVE - Sally back-tracks two spaces and gingerly opens the window leading to Grandma’s Room. Since that’s supposed to be on the second floor I can only assume that she climbed up a rain gutter like a rhesus monkey? (NOTE: unbroken Doors can be treated like a normal space or “broken through” for a free move, incurring a Blood Spatter. As a corollary, moving through a previously-broken portal automatically results in a Blood Splatter.)
DRAW - She gets an Action, a Slaughter Family Token (placed on the Cook’s first space), Bones, an Action, Bones and a Leatherface. With Franklin and Ed equidistant, they opt for Leatherface to continue after Ed. Sally stops drawing.
ACTIONS - Sally bombs through the house, hitting up Grandma’s Room, the Stairs and the Hall. This reveals two Leatherface Tokens and an Action for the Tray.
*** OBJECTIVE COMPLETE ***
Sally's "The Old House" Objective, which required her to Scavenge the Token on the Stairs is now complete!
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Big Ed Turn Six
MOVE - Ed hustles two spaces south, intent on reaching the Generator and Searching.
DRAW - He reveals a Leatherface token (moving the goon towards himself), an Eye (which lets him flip the token in the Killing Room - revealing an Action), an Action, another Eye (revealing a Slaughter Family Token near the Metal Door), Bones and another Action. He stops.
ACTIONS - He moves a single space to get to the Generator, searches and retrieves a "Flashlight"! The Truck moves.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Seven
MOVE - Franklin continues to be an MVP, moving towards the Diner and unearthing two more Actions for the Tray! Wow!
DRAW - Action, Bones x 2, Leatherface (moves towards Ed), Photos ("Help!" revealed and placed back on the top of deck, Truck moves), Eye (reveals Keys in the Bone Room!), a Slaughter Family Token (added to second Cook space) and a Leatherface (the brute moves one space towards Ed). He then decides to stop.
ACTION - Moves one space northwest of the Diner, adding Bones to the Tray.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Seven
MOVE - She tip-toes two spaces into the Bone Room.
DRAW - She pulls out a Leatherface (he moves towards Ed), some Bones, an Action, an Eye (revealing a Slaughter Family Token at the Diner, sparing Franklin a trip there), another Action and a second Leatherface! He attacks Ed, causing a Blood Spatter and the trucker flees three spaces! Sally stops drawing!
ACTION - She picks up the Keys and gingerly starts to open the Bone Room window.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Big Ed Turn Seven
MOVE - n/a, since has three Blood Spatters.
DRAW - Ed uses the "Flashlight" and draws Bones and an Action. Naturally he keeps the Action and throws the Bones back in the Hideous Bag! He then draws four more Actions (!!!) in a row and then stops!
ACTIONS - He tears through the Brambles and emerges in front of the house, adding a Slaughter Family and an Action Token to the Tray and picking up a second can of Gas! Now that the survivors have everything, Leatherface becomes Enraged, and the matching token is added to the leftmost track on his board!
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Eight
MOVE - Franklin moves two spaces towards the Van.
DRAW - He reveals two Actions, one Eye (in turn revealing a third Gas can in the Brambles by the Road!), Leatherface (who lopes towards Sally), Action x 2 and a Leatherface (he closes in on Sally). He decides to stop drawing.
ACTIONS - Franklin motors four spaces, emerging from the Brambles onto the Road next to the Van.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Eight
MOVE - She extricates herself from the window and moves onto the path directly by the front door of the house.
DRAW - She pulls Bones, Action x 2, Leatherface (he jogs towards Sally), Action, Bones x 2...the latter of which ends her Draw phase involuntarily.
ACTIONS - Sally moves three spaces, right in front of the Road, adding an Action Token to the Tray and taking a Blood Spatter from the Brambles.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Big Ed Turn Eight
MOVE - n/a
DRAW - opts not to draw. Whenever this happens, Leatherface moves 1 Space, closing in on Ed.
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - n/a
Franklin Turn Nine
MOVE - He moves one space, somehow propelling himself Evel Knievel-style into the Van.
DRAW - He opts not to draw. Leatherface moves onto Ed’s space. Instead of taking a “fourth” Blood Spatter, the Gas is dropped on the spot and Ed immediately moves onto the Meat Hook in the Killing Room! Ed is killed and turned into brisket! As a result, Kirk finally decides to haul his chicken-shit ass out of the van!
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - n/a
Sally Turn Nine
MOVE - She backtracks one space towards the fuel, hoping to draw enough Actions to shove Leatherface away from the Gas!
DRAW - Instead, she draws a Bones Token and a Leatherface! The lunatic moves into her space, she takes a Blood Spatter and Flees three spaces into the Van! It’s all up to Kirk now!
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Kirk Turn Nine
MOVE - He moves two spaces, crossing the Road and entering the Brambles.
DRAW - Leatherface moves onto his space, causing a Blood Spatter and causing him to Flee one space towards the Gas. He continues to Draw...getting Photos (he looks at "Help!", top-decks it and then moves the Truck), a Slaughter Family Token (the Cook enters play at the Diner!), Bones...and three Actions! He decides to stop.
ACTIONS - He uses two Actions to fetch the two Gas (you can Pick Up stuff in adjacent spaces), then moves one Space, revealing a Photo which is placed in the tray.
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Ten
MOVE - n/a
DRAW - To prevent an auto-move from Leatherface he pulls a single Token. He gets Bones and immediately stops!
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Ten
MOVE - n/a
DRAW - She draws a single Token just to prevent an auto-move from Leatherface. Unfortunately, it's a Leatherface, so he still closes in!
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Kirk Turn Ten
MOVE - He moves two Spaces through the Brambles.
DRAW - After revealing one Action he then proceeds to pull three successive Bones, forcing him to stop!
ACTIONS - He moves one Space onto the Road...literally right in front of the Truck!!!
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Franklin Turn Eleven
MOVE - n/a
DRAW - Again, he removes a single Token from the Bag just to prevent an auto-move from Leatherface. He gets an Action and stops!
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Sally Turn Eleven
MOVE - n/a
DRAW - She opts not to draw, so Leatherface closes in a single space!
ACTIONS - n/a
CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.
Kirk Turn Eleven
MOVE - Kirk moves into Van.
*** OBJECTIVE COMPLETED ***
Kirk only has one Blood Splatter, so his "Mostly Bloodless" Objective is complete!
Victory for the survivors!
***
EASY-TO-MISS RULES
- If your Character currently has 3 or more Blood Spatter tokens, you don't get your two free start-of-turn moves.
- You may move through fellow Characters or even Slaughter Family standees but not into a space containing the Truck.
- If both Gas and Key spaces on your Character Card are occupied, you have to leave the Gas / Keys you picked up in the space where you found it.
- If you don't draw tokens during the Draw Phase, Leatherface moves based on his current movement rate.
- Place Slaughter tokens face down on the Family Tracking Board, first on Grandpa then on the Cook and then on the Hitchhiker.
- Whenever you look at the top card of the Search Deck (either because you drew a Photo Token or you Search during the Action Phase), you move the Truck. Characters "hit" by the Truck (I.E. the Truck moved into their space or they were pushed into the Truck's space), they take one Blood Splatter Marker and move one space in any direction. If the Truck hits Leatherface, put him back in the Killing Room and discard the right-most token on his track. If the Truck hits any other Slaughter family member, permanently remove them from the game!
- If you draw three Leatherface Tokens on your turn, put one of them on the left-most uncovered space on his track of the Family Board and then end your Draw Phase.
- Slaughter Mode: if you draw a Leatherface Token you must draw another token.
- After taking damage from Leatherface you Flee equal to the number of Blood Spatter tokens on your Character Card.
- You don't reveal Scavenge Tokens when Fleeing from Leatherface or if you are Pushed.
- If Leatherface still has movement left after attacking someone he goes after the next closest Character.
- If you already have 3 or more Blood Spatter Tokens on your Character Card when Leatherface attacks you, place any Gas and Keys on your current space and move to a Meat Hook space.
REVIEW
PROS
- It's right some
purdy...er, hideous! I meant hideous! *A-hem*, sorry, I mean that the production values are absolutely amazing. Artist Terry Wolfinger totally knocked it out of the park! Not only is the board a masterpiece of design elegance, the portraiture for all of the characters is stunningly realistic. Plus, it's the only game in my entire library with a "Hideous Bag" of stitched together flesh, so that's worth something. - It's mechanically appropriate! The press-your-luck, bag-building mechanic - riding a wave of hotness now thanks to games like Orleans and The Quacks of Quedlinburg - is perfectly suited to a horror game. Using the game's parameters to mitigate bad odds by tactically seeking out and adding positive tokens to the bag is a very interesting part of the game's strategy.
- It's immersive! Between the environments depicted on the map, the inclusion of the entire Slaughter Family, your thematic Character Powers and the fun Item Cards, the game does evoke the mood of the original film surprisingly well.
- It's easy! Move, add new Tokens to the Tray, press your luck by drawing Tokens, resolve 'em as you pull 'em and then put all the Tokens back in da sack! The fact that the Slaughter Family A.I. is automatically run on a player's turn is ingenious. As a result, the game play feels quick and breezy!
- It's a roller coaster! Look at the match I played: at first I pulled so many bad Tokens I thought I was sunk. I managed to overcome that and rally, but even at the very end, there's no guarantee that you're gonna pull only Actions. I really like the game's unpredictability.
- It's actually co-operative! Working together to problem solve is key to survival!
- It's a bit too easy. Veteran gamers won't be challenged by the the default settings, so activating "Slaughter Mode" (which forces you to keep drawing Tokens from the Bag if you get a Leatherface token) is a must. Also, IMHO, you need to have at least one Objective per player.
- It's a tad convoluted. In addition to the aforementioned questions that I posed during the play-through, there are a host of other in-game scenarios that don't have a conclusive FAQ in the rules. For example: when Leatherface moves into a space with a Character who already has three Blood Splatters they go to the Killing Room Meat Hook. But what happens when you take your "fourth" damage from another source like the Brambles? Hey, I understand that game publishers don't want to freak out casual gamers by including a big honkin' rule book, but I'd rather that than end up with a vague-ass pamphlet that doesn't anticipate questions. To illustrate this: the unique Character abilities, as printed on the Character Mats, really begs for elaboration and examples. The reference card text that summarizes Token effects during the Draw Phase is also so murky (not to mention vaguely contradictory to the rulebook) that it probably shouldn't even have been included at all. Add in some unforgivable spelling mistakes ("meet" for "meat" anyone?) and you have an instruction manual that screams out for a final pass.
- It's counter-intuitive. In my match, it actually made sense to let Big Ed, saddled with the "Mostly Bloodless" Objective to just die so I could switch to an un-wounded Character. I don't know about you, but that kinda seems at odds with the game's survival theme!
After my play-through I couldn't help but think back to the unmitigated disaster that was the Friday the 13'th game.
The funny thing is: both employ the draw tokens / press-your-luck mechanic, but whereas The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game has a Character Mat with a thematically-appropriate Character Power, the Friday the 13'th game gave players a generic portrait and a math calculator. See how this works?
Sure, this new title might have some rules vagaries and challenge issues, but at least it lovingly honors the original source material and evokes shades of that original classic film.
All told, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game scores 4 pips out of 6, with a slight tilt down into that shallow grave the Hitchhiker's been rooting around in.
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