Davecon 2013

Given the rousing success of last year's Davecon I began to field questions about this year's event as soon as the holidays were dispensed with.  As such, I created the official Davecon Facebook Event Page on February 28'th.

On March 1'st I set about securing the same venue we had last year: the "Danger room" at Quantum Frontier.  Here's my initial inquiry sent through the website's official "Danger Room Booking Event" email address:

Hi!

This time last year I held a private board gaming event in the Danger Room at Quantum Frontier.
It turned out to be a huge success so I'm looking at doing it again, perhaps sometime this month.

Is the room free on March 16'th?  If not, is there a Saturday in April that I can lock down?

Thanks!    

-Dave


And then I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Thinking that I'd have better luck in person I popped into the store on the 9'th of March.

"Oh yeah, that email address," a staff member said without a hint of irony.  "That's not necessarily the best way to get things done. (?!?) Your best bet is to speak directly to Patrick, the manager.  He's not in right now but he'll be back on Monday if you wanna give him a call."

Feeling vaguely befuddled, I made a point of calling the store bright and early on the 11'th.  To my complete and total lack of surprise, he wasn't there so I ended up leaving a message.

"Okay, yeah, great.  Patrick should be in sometime today so I'll make sure he gets your message," I was assured.

And then I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

By now, options in March were starting to dry up and soon I'd be forced to push things off to April. As such, I had to call the store a second time on Wednesday the 13'th and leave a second message.

"Okay, right!  Sorry for the delay.  I'll pass this message on and make sure he gives you a call right away!"

And then I waited.  And waited.  And fucking waited.

I still hadn't gotten a call back by Friday the 15'th.  In a huff, I removed Quantum Frontier as the event's location on Facebook and then pounded out the following terse message:

"Welp, if Davecon is happening at all this year, it definitely won't be at Quantum Frontier.  How that place stays in business is beyond me." 

For several days I seriously considered turfing the whole thing.  After all, I'd created Davecon to fill in for the long-deceased Fleetcon and make up for the complete and utter dearth of local tabletop gaming events.  But since the very first Davecon back in 2007, days such as Hal-Con and Boardgasm had since been established as viable options throughout the year.  Honestly, what was the point?

I was soon reminded of the real reason why I do it: the massive outcry from the small-yet-vocal horde of rabid Davecon fans.  They really wanted me to make this happen.  So, after a series of heartfelt pleas I decided to keep searching for a home.

I turned my attention to Monster Comic Lounge on Gottingen Street in Halifax.  Truth be told, MCL was my first choice last year but store owner Mike Crossman hadn't yet extricated all of the back stock out of the game room.  Over the course of the last few months I knew that things had been squared away since the sound of jubilant gamers could often be heard coming from the bowels of that mysterious nook when I was in the store every other weekend.

So on Saturday the 16'th I popped into MCL to see if the place was a viable option.  Despite the fact that he was besieged by customers, Mike took the time to show us the room.  It wasn't quite as fancy as Quantum Frontier's Danger Room but there were plenty of tables and chairs, which was all we really needed.

Unfortunately Mike wasn't 100% sure when the room was free in April so he gave me his email address and asked me to shoot him a note.  I dutifully composed the following inquiry three days later:

Hey, Mike.

I was in the store this past weekend inquiring about using your spare room for my annual private gaming event.  Here's the plan:

It would be one Saturday in the month of April from open 'til close.  I plan to charge an entrance fee, purchase a gift certificate from the store and then give this away as a door prize.  

I also do an "M.V.P." draw for the person who plays the most board games during the day.  If you wanted to donate some cheesy throwaway thing for an M.V.P. prize, that would be cool.  If not, I can provide something.  

Currently we have seven people confirmed regardless of date.  I suspect it'll be about twelve or so in the end.  The only day in April that my regulars say is "right out" would be April 20'th.

Let me know which day works best for you and I'll make an official announcement on the event's Bookface page.

Thanks in advance.

-Dave 

And then I waited.  And waited.  With people pressing me from all sides to lock down a date, I sent this follow-up note on the 22'nd:

Hey, Mike.

If you get a free moment today, can you let me know if this works for you and what day would be best?  I've got people nagging me to make babysitter plans...

Thanks!

And then it came, the glorious response we'd all been waiting for:

Hi Dave,

The best day for us would be the 13th of April. There is nothing booked that day now and if you want it you can have it. Every other Saturday would involve some sharing of space.

If that day works for you I will make it official.

Mike

And with that, Davecon 2013 was finally a reality!

An excited flurry of emails went back and forth, speculating as to what games would be featured at the event.  Titles such as Ca$h n' Gun$, Ticket to Ride: Märklin, Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game, Alhambra, The Classic Dungeon!, Tsuro, X-Wing, Pandemic, Gloom, and Shadow Hunters were all bandied about.  Above all, I made sure that ye olde Davecon tradition, Ultimate Werewolf, would get rolled out sometime during the day!

I also spent a considerable amount of time agonizing over what to charge for an entrance fee and what contests to run.  In a spate of good news, Monster Comic Lounge didn't charge us for the room and they also gave all Davecon attendees a 10% discount an their purchases for the day!  Without a $100.00 room rental fee hanging over our heads I could charge a considerably lower Registration Fee and put all of it towards a couple of pretty descent little gift certificates!

In the end, I decided to charge $5.00 per person and issue three tickets to each participant: one given out on arrival, one issued to anyone who stayed until the end of the day and one for the Davecon M.V.P.  Based on a suggestion by Andrew, I really dig this last concept.  Basically, this would allow everyone an opportunity to vote on the event's Mose Valuable Player: the best sport, the participant who ran the most games, the person who was the most fun to play with or the attendee who best embodied "Wheaton's Rule".

I also had plenty of time to fret over the weather.  Like in many other parts of North america, evidence of Spring in Nova Scotia had been nearly non-existent up to that point.  In the days leading up to April 13'th, the weather forecast was predicting no less then twenty centimeters of snow on game day.  Yikes!

Since we'd have enough problems getting back and forth to the venue if the road conditions were crap, I even put the kibbosh on our traditional brunch plans.  Mercifully, the Weather Gods turned the snow to rain, making for perfect Davecon weather.  Indeed I can't think of a better was to spend a rainy, crappy day then ensconced in a comic book shop playing board games!  

Despite running a bit behind schedule, I managed to pick up perennial attendee Sabina, beat it down to Monster Comic Lounge and secure a convenient parking space before everything opened up at 10 am.  Just as soon as the staff unlocked the front doors, the three of us went inside and started to set things up.  After chatting with the patient and vaguely bemused employees, I posted the awesome event sign that Cheryl had designed (see above), set up a makeshift registration table and then waited for everyone to arrive.

And arrive they did.  In droves.  By the end of it, we had fourteen attendees in total: me, Andrew B., Andrew S., Angela, Chad, Claudia, Cheryl, Dawn, Dean, Mark, Matt, Sabina and two newcomers: Chad's son Mac and Dawn's brother Joey.  Unfortunately, Davecon regular and Ultimate Werewolf grand champeen Audrey had to bow out after her babysitting plans fell through.  Booooo!!!

Before I could jump into a game, I had some housekeeping to attend to.  Like a whirling dervish, I raced all around the exterior and interior of the store, taking some establishing video footage of our new environs and drawing quizzical looks from both staff and customers alike.  Then, after collecting entrance money from everyone I set about procuring some contest prizes.  By the end of it, I'd picked up two in-store gift certificates: one for $50.00 and one for $20.00.  Suitably epic prizes for such an epic day!

By the time I got back several games were already in full swing.  Cheryl, Sabina, Dawn, Joey and Mark had wasted no time breaking out the Vintage edition of the classic die-chucker Yahtzee.  

This epic contest resulted in one of the most unlikely finales imaginable as both Sabina and Mark tied for the win!  WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!   WHY AM I SHOUTING!?!?!

Next up the same crew participated in two games of Zombie Dice.  In the first match, newcomer Joey walked away with a decisive victory.  Then it was Dawn's turn to become "zombie extraordinaire" when she was declared winner and champion of game two!    

Meanwhile, Dean led a gaggle of pseudo-scientists in a co-operative game of Pandemic.  He mixed in just enough of the On the Brink expansion to accommodate five players and then let them pick from a variety of eight new role cards.

With Pandemic I've personally found that the more players you have, the harder it is to co-ordinate everyone for the win.  This might have been offset in this particular game by the awesome new roles, like the "Generalist", the "Containment Specialist" and the new-and-improved "Operations Expert".  A lot of them seem downright dynamite.

Whatever the reason, lead egghead Dean managed to guide Andrew B., Angela, Claudia and Matt to a rare victory against the germs!

Simultaneously, Andrew certainly didn't have to use a Batarang to rope three more players into a session of the new Batman: Gotham City Strategy Game.  With its thematic gameplay, villainous P.O.V.'s, awesome Heroclix figures and old-school aesthetics, I really wanted to play this one myself.  Unfortunately I was still dealing with some Davecon logistics, so I didn't get a chance to sit in.

After cracking the box open 'round 10:47 am, everyone selected their villainous roles.  Andrew opted for Killer Croc, Mac became the Joker, Chad assumed the mantle of the Penguin and Mike played Two-Face to the hilt.  After everything was set up, they began the daunting process of digesting the rules.

Since this was Andrew's first time running the game, it took a good hour or so to really get into the swing of things.  During this time, the four participants had a fun time running riot all over Gotham City, committing crimes, hiring henchmen and dodging the deadly fists of the Caped Crusader.

But as the clock started closing in on 1 pm, the four super-villains had to make a painful decision to declare an early winner.  When it came down to the final moments, Andrew was declared the most dastardly member of Batman's Rogues Gallery.    

After all of my obligations were dispensed with I finally got a chance to set up a 91-point X-Wing match using the following ships, personnel, upgrades and skills:

IMPERIALS - "VADER'S HUNTING PACK"

T.I.E. Advanced piloted by Darth Vader

Upgrades: Concussion Missiles

Skills: Squad Leader

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by Mauler Mithel

Skills: Marksmanship

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by "Howlrunner"

Skills: Swarm Tactics

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by a Black Squadron Pilot

Skills: Expert Handling

REBELS - "LUKE'S SCOUTS"

X-Wing piloted by Luke Skywalker

Upgrades: R2-D2 and Proton Torpedoes

X-Wing piloted by a Rookie Pilot

Upgrades: Astromech

Y-Wing piloted by "Dutch" Vander

Upgrades: R5 Astromech, Proton Torpedoes and an Ion Cannon Turret

***

Between the detailed minis and my new, custom-made star field (consisting of a swath of black fabric flicked with white, gold, silver and yellow paint) Mark was quickly lured in by the spectacle.  He chose to command the Dark Side while I took control of Luke and company.  Given the epic length of the table, I placed all seven ships at the far end of the Range Ruler away from the edge.

This allowed Mark and I to close to within firing distance within a few turns.  In our first pass, Mark used combined fire to annihilate Luke's shields.  The aspiring Jedi soon returned the favor, causing two points of hull damage against a rival T.I.E.

"Dutch" Vander was having even better luck with his Ion Turret, inflicting two points of damage and sending another enemy ship spiraling out of control.  But then, just as I prepared to follow up on this advantage, I realized to my horror that I'd overestimated the maneuverability of the Y-Wing.  There was no way I could bring her hard about without flying off the table!

Now, although some people might accuse "Dutch" of fleeing from the battlefield, I like to think that Luke ordered him to return to the Rebel Fleet to fetch some badly-needed re-enforcements!

Unfortunately I was running into the same issue that Andrew was having.  It was already after 1 pm and we still hadn't run our traditional match of Ultimate Werewolf.  With heavy hearts, Mark and I had to cut our match short.

At least I managed to end the game on a positive note.  After R2-D2 reconstituted the shields, Luke pulled off a Koiogran Turn, performed a Target Lock, launched a volley of Proton Torpedoes and destroyed one of the enemy vessels.  Man, I wish we could have finished this game!

Based on my previous match with Mike, I knew perfectly well how long it takes to play X-Wing, but I chose to bring it along anyway.  Don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic game with tremendous curb appeal, but it's not a good pick for Davecon.  I brought five games with me that day and I only got a chance to play two of them, including this one.  Ultimately I brought X-Wing along for purely superficial reasons: to show off the ships and my pretty, customized star-field.  Hopefully I'll learn my lesson for next year.

In the same time it took to get through partial sessions of X-Wing and Batman the other tables were flying through a spate of quicker games.  Andrew S. set up another Davecon favorite, Tumblin' Dice, which soon drew a horde of willing participants.

In the first roll-off, Matt triumphed with a total score of 68, Sabina got 63, Cheryl and Dawn tied with 48, Joey had 47 and Andrew B. trailed with 42.  Andrew had his vengeance in Game Two, netting a total of 72 points, easily outdistancing Dawn with 63, Cheryl at 61, Sabina's 60, and Joey's score of 40.

Meanwhile, Zombie Dice reared its putrefying head at another table.  In the resulting brain-feast between Dean, Angela and Claudia, Angela horked down the most gray matter!  This segued naturally into a side-by-side comparison with Martian Dice.  In that throw down, Claudia got the duke over Andrew B., Angela, Dean and Dawn.

When these games were finished, Andrew and I voluntarily ended our own sessions so we could kick off the traditional run of Ultimate Werewolf.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Andrew B. as Ham Johnson the Town Butcher

Andrew S. as "Handsome" Angus the Vampire Hunter

Angela as Shaneequa the Traveling Bard

Chad as Anvil, the Town's Blacksmith

Cheryl as Moi the Candlestick Maker

Claudia as Claudia the Alewife

Me as Mee the Taxpayer

Dawn as Jill the Washer Woman

Dean as our Awesome Game-Runner
Joey as Mildred the Town Librarian

Mac as Abs the Total Gym Salesman

Mark as Jim the Fisherman

Mike as Mike the Minstrel

Sabina as Shabinaqua the Other Traveling Bard 

Panic gripped the town as rumors of werewolves in the village became rampant.  Anvil was quick to point the finger at the local nosferatu exterminator.

"I, the town's blacksmith, was keeping a stony watch on the village when wandered in...ONE VAMPIRE HUNTER!" he proclaimed.  "I ask my fellow villagers: who hunts the vampire if not for the werewolf?"

Despite outing himself as a possible Twilight fan, Anvil nominated Angus, which was quickly seconded by Abs.  Immediately the Hunter launched into a fiery defense.

"I am not a werewolf!" he declared.  "Normally I hunt vampires but I'm all out of vampires right now... 'cuz I'm so good!  Sure, I've had to do some man-whoring on the side recently to make some capitol, but I'm not a werewolf!"

Apparently such confessionals are good for the soul and Angus was acquitted.  In a declaration that now seems a lot more suspect, Ham Sammich was quick to protest the result.

"I thought we were voting on whether or not to save him not to kill him!" the Butcher lamented.  "That's why I voted thumb's down!"

Regardless of the confusion, the unemployed vampire hunter got his reprieve.

Later that night, the three werewolves searched through stack of books to "check out" the Town Librarian.  In a horrible twist of bad fortune, Mildred also turned out to be the precious Seer.  Already the villagers were behind the proverbial eight-ball!  

With the town's paranoia growing by leaps and bounds, suspicions immediately fell upon the first person to level an accusation.

"Anvil was quick to accuse people!" Angus charged, his nomination quickly validated by the terminally-enraged, steroid-casualty Abs.

"In my defense, even though I was quick to accuse, I did vote for life!" Anvil calmly returned.  "Would a werewolf vote for life?  I don't think so."

Since this recollection was "kind of hazy" Angus asked Mee to "roll back the tape".  But because this was a medieval setting and I had no idea what sorcery the hunter was raving about, I couldn't comply.  I did corroborate Anvil's claim that he voted for mercy last time out, however.

The rest of the village saw it that way too, and with seven votes of confidence, the Blacksmith was spared!  But that didn't mean that the inquisition was over for that round.  Jim the Fisherman quickly called out Shabinaqua the Other Traveling Bard and Abs instantly backed him up!

Unfortunately Shabinaqua's own defense was piss-poor at best:

"I'm not the Werewolf, I swear!  You can trust me, I can read people like a book!"

After this lame rebuttal inspired a series of groans, cat-calls and eye-rolls, it fell upon her partner Shaneequa to come to her defense:

"I make money with this chick, don't kill off my meal ticket!" she wailed.

"No way!" Ham Salad shouted.  "Look at her, she's got Seer in her teeth!"

Despite the robust dialogue, Shabinaqua only got three votes for the defense and she was soon a-swingin' from the rafters!  Fortunately this turned out to be a focused bit of bloodlust, since she was immediately outed as one of the three Werewolves!

Later that same night, the two remaining lycanthropes avenged their neck-stretched comrade by double-teaming Claudia the Alewife (and not in a good way)!

The next morning Jill the Washer Woman immediately went on the offensive, declaring: "I still think we made a mistake not killing the Vampire Hunter!"  Before the light of inquisition could fall upon him, Angus quickly deflected the attention towards Abs.

"He 'seconds' everything so quickly!  It's all that Werewolf blood, he can't control it!"

Swayed by that undeniable logic, I quickly 'seconded' that motion, realizing all-too-late that this probably looked kinda bad for me.

Abs conducted an admittedly-spirited defense, which was one part Chuck Norris and one part Ultimate Warrior.

"Listen to Abs!  I built you guys Total Gyms so you can get fit and ripped like me!  Now, could you guys defend yourselves against the Werewolves if you weren't ripped as you are now?!?!"  

Despite being better on the mic then Dwayne Johnson, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage combined, Abs couldn't avoid the gallows.  Unfortunately it was soon revealed that the mob had just executed a perfectly innocent villager!

That night, lured by the smell of low tide, the Werewolves crept into the village and ate the fish monger with a side of tartar sauce.  The following morning the villagers found Jim the Fisherman ripped into sushi-sized morsels!

By now, fear was sweeping through the village like a plague.  Armed with absolutely no credible evidence, Angus randomly nominated Mee.  Immediately I tried to un-nominated Mee, er, me, but for some reason that didn't work.  With the accusation now fully validated by his incongruous new ally Anvil, I was forced to do some quick talking.  Unfortunately my initial defense was even lamer then Shabinaqua's.

"It's not Mee, I promise!  When you nominate Mee, you nominate yourself!  Literally!  It's not me or Mee!  I swears!  Toadly."

Perhaps due to my last-second plea of taxpayer solidarity, I managed to escape the noose in a super-close 4 to 3 vote.

After this narrow brush with death, I felt compelled to go on the offensive.

"We just basically have to ask ourselves: has anyone been doing anything particularly suspicious?"  Not withstanding Mike the Minstrel's incessant babbling, Jill the Washer Woman begins to cast aspersions once again upon "Handsome" Angus the Supposed Vampire Hunter.  Quickly his nomination got "seconded", then um..."thirded".      

"I am here to keep the village safe!" he declared in no uncertain terms.  "I...(removes shades)...Handsome Angus am a Werewolf... NOT!   If you vote for me you will regret it.  I'm the muscle now that Abs is gone. Here, I'll prove it, let me show you the ab..."

This forced moderator Dean to break character, offering to pay Angus some serious real-world coin in order to avoid seeing the "ab".  In fact, so rattled was he by this threat that he missed my vote and nearly acquitted the Vampire Hunter on a tie by mistake.  After a quick recount, the decision was reversed and Angus was convicted on a margin of four votes to six!

"Eat it!" Andrew declared, proudly rubbing our collective noses in his "Villager" card.

During the night, the fortified Werewolves stormed back, grabbed Moi the Candlestick Maker and gnawed her down to the (q)wick.  

"I think we lost our chance at Mee!" Jill the Washer Woman accused in a now-familiar refrain.  Initially the spotlight fell upon Ham Bone the Town Butcher, but then Mr. "I Can Read People Like A Book" (I.E. Anvil the Blacksmith) had to go and open his stupid pie-hole.  After declaring in no uncertain terms that Ham and Mike are "good villagers" and that "Mee seems to be he most suspicious" I knew that it was the beginning of the end for this cowboy.    

In an act purely driven by self-preservation, I officially nominated Anvil, but no-one seconded my motion. Taking advantage of the confusion, Ham Platter pointed an official finger in my direction and instantly Anvil and Jill piled on.  Despite being so confident of my innocence that I eschewed the Chewie Defense, I lost the vote 3 to 2.

"Hold on, I'm gotta find my damned 'Villager' card," I muttered, rummaging around the room.

That night, the duo of Werewolves went all Dragonforce on Mike the Minstrel.  With that,  the lycanthropes achieved parity!  Immediately both Andrew B. and Angela revealed their lupine natures and reveled in their sweet n' hairy mutual victory.

And with that, the attendees split up once again to pursue a host of gamey new pursuits.  First off Dean took Mac, Claudia and Chad through a session of Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game.  

At first, the odd mash-up of selected heroes (Storm, Wolverine, Iron Man and Thor) didn't gel very well together against Doctor Doom, but mid-way through the game, the players found their footing and started to get a leg-up.

Funny enough, even though Dean was the owner of the game, only Chad had played it before.  Admittedly Dean made a few minor rule-goofs, resulting in a partial asterisk, but the heroes proved victorious with Claudia emerging as the individual winner.

Zombie Dice then shambled across the room to the other table.  In two quick contests, Joey proved triumphant against both Cheryl and Sabina.  Sometime you just gotta love a game that you can play in ten minutes!        

Especially when it give you the time to play two rounds of the visual telephone game Telestrations. 

Although the game has a nominal scoring system, it tends to suck most of the visceral joy out of the proceedings.  As such, Dawn, Chad, Sabina, Cheryl and Joey decided to ignore it and just get their sketch-on.    

They drew their little hearts out in game one, producing an incredible chain of drawings that carried everyone's original clues right to the very end.  After two more players (Mac and Sabina) were added to the mix in game two, the keywords didn't transfer quite so accurately.  Regardless, there were plenty of laughs and a great time was had by all.  And, hey, isn't that the whole raison d'être for this wacky event?

After this, Angela, Dawn, Sabina, Andrew B, Joey, Mike, Cheryl and Mark risked getting all of us banned from the store for life via a boisterous game of Cards Against Humanity.

Given the fact that there were eight players, it took over an hour to determine the winner with the momentum swinging back and forth.  Ultimately it was Cheryl who proved triumphant, winning the game and securing primo boxed seats in H, E...double hockey sticks in the process.

Things got more PC but no less cutthroat after Martian Dice was rolled out again.  After some frantic luck-pressin', Cheryl won with a whopping 30 points, Joey had 25, Dawn had 23, Mark had 19 and Sabina had 11.  

After Andrew heard that I'd brought along Nexus Ops he insisted that we play it.  So, after tempting Matt and Mike with a "It's kinda like Risk but good" sales pitch we were off to the races.

Right away Andrew exibited his characteristic gonzo luck by annexing a slew of incredibly valuable mines. Mike struck a balance between unearthing new units and coming across some moderately-valued resources.  Matt was similarly blessed.  In fact, the only shlub to get stuck with only one new mine was me.  To make matters worse, I didn't staff it properly on two separate occasions and had to settle for my crappy base income.

As I slowly revealed the planet's varied environs I did come across a slew of new recruits.  By the time my forces made it to the mid-board lava wasteland, I had a disproportionally large army.  Unfortunately, my economy was also a house of cards.

Even though Andrew was clearly establishing himself as the runaway leader, I had to attack Mike in the Liquifungus Forest in order to score some badly-needed Victory Points.  Naturally I failed to win a decisive victory, so this battle dragged on for a few turns longer then expected.  Eventually I pulled out the win, but it really hurt my drive to the Monolith. 

Given Andrew's rampant expansionism, both Matt and Mike were forced to engage him in a few minor dust- ups. Initially Matt's attacks were repulsed but Mike made some promising headway.  Unfortunately Andrew's ludicrously-rich economy ensured that he could pump out reinforcements quicker then anyone else. As a result, he became the first player to produce Rubium Dragons.  Not long after he took possession of the precious Monolith.

By capturing this pivotal mid-board location, Andrew began receiving two precious Energize Cards per turn. Knowing that Andrew was closing in on victory, all three of us entered into a silent pact to chip away at his lead.  Pretty soon he was fighting on three separate fronts.

I moved my own Rubium Dragon adjacent to the Monolith by failed to light up Andrew's forces stationed there was plasma.  Andrew also had spotty luck with this tactic on the main board, roasting only one of Mike's units after several attempts.  With time running out I was forced to attack the Monolith the old-fashioned way.

Using a "Gravity Anomaly", I reversed the combat order, allowing my grunts to strike before Andrew's Double Dragons.  Unfortunately the luck I needed to execute this strategy didn't materialize and I only scored one hit on a late roll.  Andrew struck back with a vengeance, playing "Frenzy" to give each one of his units two attacks apiece!  Needless to say, the resulting slaughter was as quick as it was complete. 

Even allied together, Mike, Matt and I couldn't stop Andrew's juggernaut-like momentum.  Within another turn or two, Andrew played his last Victory Point card, taking him to 10 points for the short-game win.  After taking a look at the clock, we realized that this one game of Nexus Ops took us right up to the end of Davecon regulation time.

During this interval, the other participants certainly hadn't been idle.  Mac, Dean, Claudia and Chad threw down in a chaotic game of Star Flux which saw Chad emerge triumphant.

Then Mac, Chad, Mark and Dawn played two games of Tsuro.  In the first match, Mac made a wily tile placement and drove his pops, Chad, off the board.  Mark's dragon as the last one left in the air during that first game.  Family ties also didn't amount to much in game two, as Dawn eliminated hubby Mark for the win!

Dean, Mark, Dawn, Chad and Mac also had another close encounter with Martian Dice.  In this heated battle, Chad proved victorious with a whopping twenty-nine points!   Although it takes a longer time to play, most participants seemed to agree that Martian Dice out-distances its undead sibling.

Angela then led Andrew B, Cheryl, Joey, Claudia and Sabina through a nice, peaceful bout of murder and mayhem via Gloom.

During these purloined tales of strife, insanity, abandonment, and incongruous bliss, Pathos Points were won and lost, creative yarns were spun, and more then one miserable soul met an Untimely Death.  Sabina ended up with the most miserable clan in death and slipped away with the win!

Knowing that the store was closing at five pm I decided to wind things down around four-thirty in order to distribute the end-of-day tickets, draw for the door prizes and give people enough time to do any last-minute shopping.  During all of this, the Monster Comic Lounge staff was nothing short of awesome.  They even  told us not to rush, offering to stick around later in order to facilitate our wrap-up.  I guess this probably isn't such a big deal when you actually like where you work!

After passing out the "Hey-You-Survived-To-The-End" ballots, I encouraged folks to deposit their tickets in our unconventional "Door Prize" receptacle:

Then I made sure everyone had a chance to fill out their "M.V.P." vote and deposit it in the skull of our favorite resident Dark Lord of the Sith:

Moments later our official winners were declared:

DOOR PRIZE WINNER 

($50.00 Gift Certificate from Monster Comic Lounge)

CHAD!!!

M.V.P. Winner 

($20.00 Gift Certificate from Monster Comic Lounge)

ANGELA!!!

The great thing about our guests is that they never cease to amaze me.  Sabina actual took it upon herself to provide a third prize, which turned out to be a bad-ass inflatable shark kite.  This allowed me to give out a runner-up door prize!  

RUNNER-UP DOOR PRIZE WINNER 

(for a Bad-Ass Inflatable Shark Kite)

ANGELA!!!

After taking great pains to leave the room in better shape then we'd found it, the Davecon attendees loitered around the store for a bit, recollecting the day's stories, chatting with the staff and making last-minute purchases.  Through it all, we got the distinct impression that Davecon had finally found a permanent home!  During this time, I expressed heartfelt thanks to the staff for putting up with our over-caffeinated / sugar-fueled shenanigans.   

"Oh, no problem," one of the employees replied.  "It sounds like you guys had a really great time.  How often do you run this event?" 

"Oh, once a year," I replied.

"Hmmm, only once a year?  Could you be persuaded to do it bi-annually?" he pursued with a wry smile.

"Oh, I dunno," I sighed, betraying my exhaustion.  "I think my constitution can only take one of these a year, but hey, if someone else wants to do one..."

I turned and looked at my friends expectantly.  A part of me still hopes that, one day, everyone will run their own annual eponymous con, so that all I need to do is master a few rulebooks, buy some snacks and beer and then show up to play.

Which leads me to my sole regret for the day: the fact that I only got a chance to play three games.  That's downright shameful.  Next year I need to avoid the kind of games we play during our epic, mid-week session and stick to shorter, quicker titles.   

Speaking of regrets, I also thought about all the money Quantum Frontier missed out on by not calling me back.  First off, we would have given them $100.00 for renting the "Danger Room".  To pay for this overhead, I probably would have charged an entry fee of $10.00 per person instead of $5.00.  Although this would have resulted in a much smaller gift certificate (probably $40.00 instead of $70.00), it still would have gone right back into the store's coffers. 

Then there was all the stuff we bought that day:

After a rough estimate I've determined that our group spent around $300.00 at Monster Comic Lounge that day.  So, all told, Quantum could have made around $450.00 if they'd only exhibited the common courtesy of calling me back.  

Which left me wondering: if Quantum Frontier can survive as a business, what would happen if I opened up my very own game store and actually applied the tenants of good customer service?

Hmmmmmmm...     

  

  

In Defense of Party Games

Party Games get a pretty bad rap, but often for good reason.

Every holiday season, Calendar Club opens up a store in every mall in North America and suckers the general populace into overpaying for crap board games based on cool licensed properties.  Before torch and pitchfork-wielding villagers swarm the store with their sales receipts, they quickly ditch their questionable wares, pack up their tents and clear outta Dodge.  This shady practice never fails to do immeasurable damage to my beloved hobby every single year.

This is the kind of dreck these snake-oil salesmen try to pawn off on the unsuspecting masses:

  

   

Frankly I'd rather nail my nuts to a stump and try and catch anvils then play some of these barkers.

Mercifully, all is not lost for the party game genre as evidenced by our gathering last Saturday @ Casa del Andrew.  Here's his invitational email:

Greetings y’all.

(We're) looking to have a party game night at our place this Saturday.  Not sure what time yet…but it will be in the evening.  Alcohol is recommended but not required.  It seems that I have a lot of party games so you don’t need to worry about bringing a game.  If you can’t make it then no worries, I know it’s short notice. If you wish to get fall down sloppy drunk (Chad I’m looking at you) then you are welcome to sleep on one of our sofas.

Games that must be played:

The Resistance
Crappy Birthday
Telestrations

Chad's reply pretty much summed up all of our collective thoughts:

Awesome!  I like the list of “must plays”!

PS – Andrew will you be providing puke buckets or should I bring my own?

To which Andrew replied:

BYOB X 2
Bring your own Beer / Bring your own Bucket

All of us silently hoped that the games themselves wouldn't trigger our gag reflexes, but since Andrew's acquisitions are usually well-researched we were pretty confident that fun times were imminent.

First up was Crappy Birthday, a pretender to the Apples to Apples throne.

Players get a mitt-ful of five illustrated cards, each representing what a crappy or (relatively) cool birthday gift might be.  Some examples: "European Soap for a Year from Five-Star Hotel, Slightly Used", "Pet Tarantula: Keep this Docile Spider for it's Entire Lifetime!" or "Running with the Bulls: Bring your Nikes!"

On any given player's turn it's considered to be their "birthday" so people around the table submit a card which they hope that player will choose as THE WORST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVAR.  We also played the speedy variant whereby the birthday boy/girl also picks their favorite gift out of the bunch.  The person who's card is selected gets a point.  The first player to five points wins!     

That's it, folks.  That's the entire rulebook summarized.  Okay, so it's not exactly Twilight Imperium, but you're also 98% more likely to pee yourself laughing while playing this.   

I wasn't on anyone's wavelength at all in Game One, scoring my one and only point on the very last hand with a "Co-operative Bicycle" gifted to Dean.  I knew that, being a cyclist, Dean really wouldn't care very much for such a contraption.  Plus, he really hates to share.    

Chad, on the other hand, alternately kicked ass and/or took names.  In an amusing twist, it seemed as if 80% of the so-called "crappy" birthday gifts sent his way he absolutely loved! ("Ooooooo!  A Two-Week Stay in Antarctica!")  He also did a boffo job picking gifts for everyone else, including "Live Music for the Summer: See This Local Metal Band Every Weekend!" for me.  What can I say, I'm a slave to my passions.

In Game Two, I got into the zone, scoring four points in quick succession.  Cheryl picked my "Camp in Paris Catacombs: Spend the Night With Millions of Bones" as a good gift (!) and Chad selected my "Grandma's Collection of 25 Favorite Records This Year" as one of his worst.  Dean also had me pegged for a "Star Wars Themed Wedding".        

Some other memorable kick-backs included Andrew's adamant refusal of a "24-hour Silent Film Festival", my horror at the prospects of a "Three Hour Friday Night Winter Knitting Club" and Audrey wrestling with the lesser of five evil decor options including a "Barbed Wire Fence" and a "Peeing Statue".    
     
As soon as we finished the first game I knew immediately that it had supplanted Apples To Apples for me.  I'll always have a soft spot for A&A because I've seen it result in so many non-gamer epiphanies, but the images alone in Crappy Birthday really makes it a winner.  I also think that the "love it / hate it" variant speeds the game up nicely by doling out two points per turn.  My only demerit: there aren't very many cards so repetition sets in really quick.   

Next up: The Resistance

At the beginning of the game, players are dealt secret role cards that define them as either Imperial Spies or members of The Resistance.  In order to win the game, players must determine where their opponent's loyalties lie, protect their own identity and foster their secret cause.  Bluff, beguilement and deductive reasoning are the order of the day here.

Over the course of three to five rounds, players alternate leading a "mission".  They first select players around the table as team members, the number of which is determined by what round you're currently in. This team composition is then approved or vetoed in a secret vote by everyone at the table.  If the the team is sanctioned it then moves into the mission phase, where success or failure is determined by an internal vote submitted by the team members themselves.

If the mission succeeds, it's a point for the Resistance.  If it fails, the Spies get the duke.  The first team to get three victories wins the game.

I'd like to preface this by saying that I'm pretty crap when it comes to bluffing, lying and intimidation.  Even when I play a video games that encourages some ethical wiggle room, Chaotic Good seems to be the most anti-social behavior I can muster. My idea of concealing evil intent in games is just to go mute, which as you can imagine, instantly casts aspersions on me.

So when I drew the "Spy" role card I kinda cringed.  It's challenging enough to wrap your head around new game mechanics let alone promote some sort of secret Machiavellian agenda by acting like Robert DeNiro in Angel Heart.  This often resulted in me keeping my snack-hole suspiciously shut and vainly attempting to strangle any behavioral tells.  It's a damned good sight that the Spies scored a couple of quick points under the veil of first-game confusion.

Andrew, on the other hand, has a weird affinity for games like this.  It wasn't long before he started calling me out in heated, court-room style exchanges like:

Andrew:  I'm not going to pick you for my team...SPY.    
Dave:  I am not a spy!  You're the spy...

Needless to say, I tanked out on that first game and the Resistance was victorious.  Andrew, Dean, Audrey and Chad shared the win and Cheryl, Claudia and I were laid low. 

In Game Two I was relieved to pull a Resistance loyalty card, which meant that I didn't act like a coke mule trying to clear customs.  But Andrew, damn his hide, was now cast in the role he was born to play.  Despite the fact that I was outwardly thrilled by the early victories of the Resistance, within minutes Andrew had cast doubts on my loyalties amongst the group.

Andrew:  I think you're a SPY.      

Dave:  I am not a spy!  Honestly, I'm not a friggin' spy!  Really!  Guys, c'mon.  I'm not a...oh, fuck it.   

So again, despite a quick lead, the infiltrators quickly puzzled out who everyone was.  When this happens there's not much you can do to avoid an inevitable result since you can just pick the team-members you know you can trust.  The Spies surged back with an unstoppable win, which I still maintain wouldn't have happened if Andrew wasn't so friggin' adamant.

He shared his ill-begotten win with Cheryl and Claudia who both did a solid job in deflecting suspicions.

This is a tremendous game, perhaps my favorite of the night.  It does a fine job taking the tone of games like Ultimate Werewolf, Shadow Hunters, and Battlestar Galactica and wrapping them up in a light negotiation-style party game which is easily playable in thirty minutes. 

The final game of the evening was Telestrations:        

Honestly you'd be hard-pressed characterizing Telestrations as a formal board game.  It's more like what results when a company realizes: "Hey, why don't we take this cobbled together pen and paper public domain party game, copyright it, package it up all slick-like and then sell it in every Borders/Chapters/Indigo store on the planet."

Remember when you were a kid some teacher/scout leader/wise-ass authority figure would try and teach you about the dangers of gossip by playing the Telephone game?  You'd be sitting in a circle with about twenty other twitchy kids and the teacher/scout leader/wise-ass authority figure would whisper a word like "Race Car" into the ear of the first kid and then tell them to pass it along.  By the time "Race Car" got around to the last kid it had somehow morphed into "Purple Monkey Dishwasher".

In the late 80's / early 90's some anonymous and clever little jobber decided to add a Pictionary-style component which required that the next person (and ever other person) in line had to interpret the word in a sketch.  This home-made concoction went by many names, the most resilient of which being Eat Poop You Cat, based on one of the game's more bizarre interpretations.  Needless to say, much hilarity ensued.

Pity that the creative but otherwise myopic fuck who came up with that idea didn't copyright it.  Sensing an opportunity to quantify the hilarity at a retail price of $29.95, USAopoly (who apparently have no qualms naming their company after a shitty Calendar Club game) snatched up the concept and made a formal boxed party game out of it.

The funny thing is, it was never meant to be a game.  Any attempt to "score" the resulting drawings and guesses is about like trying to drink beer out of a cullender.  So, we always ignore the stupid scoring system.

The game begins when you're handed a mark n' wipe sketch book and a card with six words or phrases on it.  A random six-sided die roll determines which word to write on the front page (along with your name).  You then pass your book to the person on the left who tries to interpret your clue in a sketch.  In order to make the game even more frantic, a 90-second sand timer to also used.

So, just to show you how this works, here's what resulted from the keyword...

     
Now, although Andrew might be a fucking savant when it comes to games requiring strategy and subterfuge, he's strictly clown shoes when it comes to stuff like this.  Here's my boy's  Magritte-style interpretation of "Psychologist":

Needless to say, when I was handed this abstract, minimalist masterpiece I know that no court in the land would convict me if I guessed creatively:

Then, somewhere along the line, "Head Ache" got twisted into "Hairspray", which Cheryl brilliantly interpreted thusly:

Needless to say this one went completely off the rails thanks to Andrew's brain cramp.  But given the fact that we were all laughing like a bunch of YouTube babies, we really didn't care too much.

Next up I was pretty hard-pressed to illustrate the sexually suggestive "Shrimp Cocktail":

 
In retrospect, I really should have gone with a more phallic rendition since this was understandably mistaken by Chad as:

Yeah, it never really recovered from that...

Another one of my clues was the seemingly innocuous:

This one had a couple of really cute renditions:

Note unmistakable, cat-like whiskers and evocative speed-lines.  Unfortunately after the following Parkinson's-stricken feline was sketched:

 It became:

 
 And then, after Andrew's decidedly Lovecraftian rendition:

Dean had no choice but to go literal:

 
'Nuff said.

Then things took on a decidedly macabre bent when Audrey's version of "Rubber Gloves":

 
Was translated into the following by Claudia:

Which, in turn, was interpreted in increasingly ghoulish ways:

By the time the book got around to me I just guessed "Accident" since it looked like a still from Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive.

And finally I'll show you what happened with Dean's "Diaper":

Here's Cheryl's fantastic translation:

But then Audrey froze up like a deer in headlights and could only produce this:

But what's really funny is that Chad manged to take the completely inexplicable image above and pull this even more inexplicable guess out of his anus:

Oblivious to the unknown detour, I gamely tackled my new assignment with vigor:

Hey, at least my "dead-eyed-baby-as-Jennifer-Beals-in-Flashdance" is wearing a diaper!

So, as you can see by these example, Telestrations resembles a board game about as much as Rebecca Black resembles a singer/songwriter.  Nevertheless, I really firmly believe that even the most hardened grognard and game snob needs a break from playing Agricola and Drang Nach Osten! and just have a spot of mindless fun.

I just hope that these humble suggestions will prevent players from suffering needlessly with the sort of crap that seasonal shopping mall hucksters try to peddle on unsuspecting folk.    

RATINGS

Crappy Birthday:   

The Resistance:

Telestrations:

Additional photos by Claudia Langley.