Davecon 2013

Given the rousing success of last year's Davecon I began to field questions about this year's event as soon as the holidays were dispensed with.  As such, I created the official Davecon Facebook Event Page on February 28'th.

On March 1'st I set about securing the same venue we had last year: the "Danger room" at Quantum Frontier.  Here's my initial inquiry sent through the website's official "Danger Room Booking Event" email address:

Hi!

This time last year I held a private board gaming event in the Danger Room at Quantum Frontier.
It turned out to be a huge success so I'm looking at doing it again, perhaps sometime this month.

Is the room free on March 16'th?  If not, is there a Saturday in April that I can lock down?

Thanks!    

-Dave


And then I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Thinking that I'd have better luck in person I popped into the store on the 9'th of March.

"Oh yeah, that email address," a staff member said without a hint of irony.  "That's not necessarily the best way to get things done. (?!?) Your best bet is to speak directly to Patrick, the manager.  He's not in right now but he'll be back on Monday if you wanna give him a call."

Feeling vaguely befuddled, I made a point of calling the store bright and early on the 11'th.  To my complete and total lack of surprise, he wasn't there so I ended up leaving a message.

"Okay, yeah, great.  Patrick should be in sometime today so I'll make sure he gets your message," I was assured.

And then I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

By now, options in March were starting to dry up and soon I'd be forced to push things off to April. As such, I had to call the store a second time on Wednesday the 13'th and leave a second message.

"Okay, right!  Sorry for the delay.  I'll pass this message on and make sure he gives you a call right away!"

And then I waited.  And waited.  And fucking waited.

I still hadn't gotten a call back by Friday the 15'th.  In a huff, I removed Quantum Frontier as the event's location on Facebook and then pounded out the following terse message:

"Welp, if Davecon is happening at all this year, it definitely won't be at Quantum Frontier.  How that place stays in business is beyond me." 

For several days I seriously considered turfing the whole thing.  After all, I'd created Davecon to fill in for the long-deceased Fleetcon and make up for the complete and utter dearth of local tabletop gaming events.  But since the very first Davecon back in 2007, days such as Hal-Con and Boardgasm had since been established as viable options throughout the year.  Honestly, what was the point?

I was soon reminded of the real reason why I do it: the massive outcry from the small-yet-vocal horde of rabid Davecon fans.  They really wanted me to make this happen.  So, after a series of heartfelt pleas I decided to keep searching for a home.

I turned my attention to Monster Comic Lounge on Gottingen Street in Halifax.  Truth be told, MCL was my first choice last year but store owner Mike Crossman hadn't yet extricated all of the back stock out of the game room.  Over the course of the last few months I knew that things had been squared away since the sound of jubilant gamers could often be heard coming from the bowels of that mysterious nook when I was in the store every other weekend.

So on Saturday the 16'th I popped into MCL to see if the place was a viable option.  Despite the fact that he was besieged by customers, Mike took the time to show us the room.  It wasn't quite as fancy as Quantum Frontier's Danger Room but there were plenty of tables and chairs, which was all we really needed.

Unfortunately Mike wasn't 100% sure when the room was free in April so he gave me his email address and asked me to shoot him a note.  I dutifully composed the following inquiry three days later:

Hey, Mike.

I was in the store this past weekend inquiring about using your spare room for my annual private gaming event.  Here's the plan:

It would be one Saturday in the month of April from open 'til close.  I plan to charge an entrance fee, purchase a gift certificate from the store and then give this away as a door prize.  

I also do an "M.V.P." draw for the person who plays the most board games during the day.  If you wanted to donate some cheesy throwaway thing for an M.V.P. prize, that would be cool.  If not, I can provide something.  

Currently we have seven people confirmed regardless of date.  I suspect it'll be about twelve or so in the end.  The only day in April that my regulars say is "right out" would be April 20'th.

Let me know which day works best for you and I'll make an official announcement on the event's Bookface page.

Thanks in advance.

-Dave 

And then I waited.  And waited.  With people pressing me from all sides to lock down a date, I sent this follow-up note on the 22'nd:

Hey, Mike.

If you get a free moment today, can you let me know if this works for you and what day would be best?  I've got people nagging me to make babysitter plans...

Thanks!

And then it came, the glorious response we'd all been waiting for:

Hi Dave,

The best day for us would be the 13th of April. There is nothing booked that day now and if you want it you can have it. Every other Saturday would involve some sharing of space.

If that day works for you I will make it official.

Mike

And with that, Davecon 2013 was finally a reality!

An excited flurry of emails went back and forth, speculating as to what games would be featured at the event.  Titles such as Ca$h n' Gun$, Ticket to Ride: Märklin, Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game, Alhambra, The Classic Dungeon!, Tsuro, X-Wing, Pandemic, Gloom, and Shadow Hunters were all bandied about.  Above all, I made sure that ye olde Davecon tradition, Ultimate Werewolf, would get rolled out sometime during the day!

I also spent a considerable amount of time agonizing over what to charge for an entrance fee and what contests to run.  In a spate of good news, Monster Comic Lounge didn't charge us for the room and they also gave all Davecon attendees a 10% discount an their purchases for the day!  Without a $100.00 room rental fee hanging over our heads I could charge a considerably lower Registration Fee and put all of it towards a couple of pretty descent little gift certificates!

In the end, I decided to charge $5.00 per person and issue three tickets to each participant: one given out on arrival, one issued to anyone who stayed until the end of the day and one for the Davecon M.V.P.  Based on a suggestion by Andrew, I really dig this last concept.  Basically, this would allow everyone an opportunity to vote on the event's Mose Valuable Player: the best sport, the participant who ran the most games, the person who was the most fun to play with or the attendee who best embodied "Wheaton's Rule".

I also had plenty of time to fret over the weather.  Like in many other parts of North america, evidence of Spring in Nova Scotia had been nearly non-existent up to that point.  In the days leading up to April 13'th, the weather forecast was predicting no less then twenty centimeters of snow on game day.  Yikes!

Since we'd have enough problems getting back and forth to the venue if the road conditions were crap, I even put the kibbosh on our traditional brunch plans.  Mercifully, the Weather Gods turned the snow to rain, making for perfect Davecon weather.  Indeed I can't think of a better was to spend a rainy, crappy day then ensconced in a comic book shop playing board games!  

Despite running a bit behind schedule, I managed to pick up perennial attendee Sabina, beat it down to Monster Comic Lounge and secure a convenient parking space before everything opened up at 10 am.  Just as soon as the staff unlocked the front doors, the three of us went inside and started to set things up.  After chatting with the patient and vaguely bemused employees, I posted the awesome event sign that Cheryl had designed (see above), set up a makeshift registration table and then waited for everyone to arrive.

And arrive they did.  In droves.  By the end of it, we had fourteen attendees in total: me, Andrew B., Andrew S., Angela, Chad, Claudia, Cheryl, Dawn, Dean, Mark, Matt, Sabina and two newcomers: Chad's son Mac and Dawn's brother Joey.  Unfortunately, Davecon regular and Ultimate Werewolf grand champeen Audrey had to bow out after her babysitting plans fell through.  Booooo!!!

Before I could jump into a game, I had some housekeeping to attend to.  Like a whirling dervish, I raced all around the exterior and interior of the store, taking some establishing video footage of our new environs and drawing quizzical looks from both staff and customers alike.  Then, after collecting entrance money from everyone I set about procuring some contest prizes.  By the end of it, I'd picked up two in-store gift certificates: one for $50.00 and one for $20.00.  Suitably epic prizes for such an epic day!

By the time I got back several games were already in full swing.  Cheryl, Sabina, Dawn, Joey and Mark had wasted no time breaking out the Vintage edition of the classic die-chucker Yahtzee.  

This epic contest resulted in one of the most unlikely finales imaginable as both Sabina and Mark tied for the win!  WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!   WHY AM I SHOUTING!?!?!

Next up the same crew participated in two games of Zombie Dice.  In the first match, newcomer Joey walked away with a decisive victory.  Then it was Dawn's turn to become "zombie extraordinaire" when she was declared winner and champion of game two!    

Meanwhile, Dean led a gaggle of pseudo-scientists in a co-operative game of Pandemic.  He mixed in just enough of the On the Brink expansion to accommodate five players and then let them pick from a variety of eight new role cards.

With Pandemic I've personally found that the more players you have, the harder it is to co-ordinate everyone for the win.  This might have been offset in this particular game by the awesome new roles, like the "Generalist", the "Containment Specialist" and the new-and-improved "Operations Expert".  A lot of them seem downright dynamite.

Whatever the reason, lead egghead Dean managed to guide Andrew B., Angela, Claudia and Matt to a rare victory against the germs!

Simultaneously, Andrew certainly didn't have to use a Batarang to rope three more players into a session of the new Batman: Gotham City Strategy Game.  With its thematic gameplay, villainous P.O.V.'s, awesome Heroclix figures and old-school aesthetics, I really wanted to play this one myself.  Unfortunately I was still dealing with some Davecon logistics, so I didn't get a chance to sit in.

After cracking the box open 'round 10:47 am, everyone selected their villainous roles.  Andrew opted for Killer Croc, Mac became the Joker, Chad assumed the mantle of the Penguin and Mike played Two-Face to the hilt.  After everything was set up, they began the daunting process of digesting the rules.

Since this was Andrew's first time running the game, it took a good hour or so to really get into the swing of things.  During this time, the four participants had a fun time running riot all over Gotham City, committing crimes, hiring henchmen and dodging the deadly fists of the Caped Crusader.

But as the clock started closing in on 1 pm, the four super-villains had to make a painful decision to declare an early winner.  When it came down to the final moments, Andrew was declared the most dastardly member of Batman's Rogues Gallery.    

After all of my obligations were dispensed with I finally got a chance to set up a 91-point X-Wing match using the following ships, personnel, upgrades and skills:

IMPERIALS - "VADER'S HUNTING PACK"

T.I.E. Advanced piloted by Darth Vader

Upgrades: Concussion Missiles

Skills: Squad Leader

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by Mauler Mithel

Skills: Marksmanship

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by "Howlrunner"

Skills: Swarm Tactics

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by a Black Squadron Pilot

Skills: Expert Handling

REBELS - "LUKE'S SCOUTS"

X-Wing piloted by Luke Skywalker

Upgrades: R2-D2 and Proton Torpedoes

X-Wing piloted by a Rookie Pilot

Upgrades: Astromech

Y-Wing piloted by "Dutch" Vander

Upgrades: R5 Astromech, Proton Torpedoes and an Ion Cannon Turret

***

Between the detailed minis and my new, custom-made star field (consisting of a swath of black fabric flicked with white, gold, silver and yellow paint) Mark was quickly lured in by the spectacle.  He chose to command the Dark Side while I took control of Luke and company.  Given the epic length of the table, I placed all seven ships at the far end of the Range Ruler away from the edge.

This allowed Mark and I to close to within firing distance within a few turns.  In our first pass, Mark used combined fire to annihilate Luke's shields.  The aspiring Jedi soon returned the favor, causing two points of hull damage against a rival T.I.E.

"Dutch" Vander was having even better luck with his Ion Turret, inflicting two points of damage and sending another enemy ship spiraling out of control.  But then, just as I prepared to follow up on this advantage, I realized to my horror that I'd overestimated the maneuverability of the Y-Wing.  There was no way I could bring her hard about without flying off the table!

Now, although some people might accuse "Dutch" of fleeing from the battlefield, I like to think that Luke ordered him to return to the Rebel Fleet to fetch some badly-needed re-enforcements!

Unfortunately I was running into the same issue that Andrew was having.  It was already after 1 pm and we still hadn't run our traditional match of Ultimate Werewolf.  With heavy hearts, Mark and I had to cut our match short.

At least I managed to end the game on a positive note.  After R2-D2 reconstituted the shields, Luke pulled off a Koiogran Turn, performed a Target Lock, launched a volley of Proton Torpedoes and destroyed one of the enemy vessels.  Man, I wish we could have finished this game!

Based on my previous match with Mike, I knew perfectly well how long it takes to play X-Wing, but I chose to bring it along anyway.  Don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic game with tremendous curb appeal, but it's not a good pick for Davecon.  I brought five games with me that day and I only got a chance to play two of them, including this one.  Ultimately I brought X-Wing along for purely superficial reasons: to show off the ships and my pretty, customized star-field.  Hopefully I'll learn my lesson for next year.

In the same time it took to get through partial sessions of X-Wing and Batman the other tables were flying through a spate of quicker games.  Andrew S. set up another Davecon favorite, Tumblin' Dice, which soon drew a horde of willing participants.

In the first roll-off, Matt triumphed with a total score of 68, Sabina got 63, Cheryl and Dawn tied with 48, Joey had 47 and Andrew B. trailed with 42.  Andrew had his vengeance in Game Two, netting a total of 72 points, easily outdistancing Dawn with 63, Cheryl at 61, Sabina's 60, and Joey's score of 40.

Meanwhile, Zombie Dice reared its putrefying head at another table.  In the resulting brain-feast between Dean, Angela and Claudia, Angela horked down the most gray matter!  This segued naturally into a side-by-side comparison with Martian Dice.  In that throw down, Claudia got the duke over Andrew B., Angela, Dean and Dawn.

When these games were finished, Andrew and I voluntarily ended our own sessions so we could kick off the traditional run of Ultimate Werewolf.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Andrew B. as Ham Johnson the Town Butcher

Andrew S. as "Handsome" Angus the Vampire Hunter

Angela as Shaneequa the Traveling Bard

Chad as Anvil, the Town's Blacksmith

Cheryl as Moi the Candlestick Maker

Claudia as Claudia the Alewife

Me as Mee the Taxpayer

Dawn as Jill the Washer Woman

Dean as our Awesome Game-Runner
Joey as Mildred the Town Librarian

Mac as Abs the Total Gym Salesman

Mark as Jim the Fisherman

Mike as Mike the Minstrel

Sabina as Shabinaqua the Other Traveling Bard 

Panic gripped the town as rumors of werewolves in the village became rampant.  Anvil was quick to point the finger at the local nosferatu exterminator.

"I, the town's blacksmith, was keeping a stony watch on the village when wandered in...ONE VAMPIRE HUNTER!" he proclaimed.  "I ask my fellow villagers: who hunts the vampire if not for the werewolf?"

Despite outing himself as a possible Twilight fan, Anvil nominated Angus, which was quickly seconded by Abs.  Immediately the Hunter launched into a fiery defense.

"I am not a werewolf!" he declared.  "Normally I hunt vampires but I'm all out of vampires right now... 'cuz I'm so good!  Sure, I've had to do some man-whoring on the side recently to make some capitol, but I'm not a werewolf!"

Apparently such confessionals are good for the soul and Angus was acquitted.  In a declaration that now seems a lot more suspect, Ham Sammich was quick to protest the result.

"I thought we were voting on whether or not to save him not to kill him!" the Butcher lamented.  "That's why I voted thumb's down!"

Regardless of the confusion, the unemployed vampire hunter got his reprieve.

Later that night, the three werewolves searched through stack of books to "check out" the Town Librarian.  In a horrible twist of bad fortune, Mildred also turned out to be the precious Seer.  Already the villagers were behind the proverbial eight-ball!  

With the town's paranoia growing by leaps and bounds, suspicions immediately fell upon the first person to level an accusation.

"Anvil was quick to accuse people!" Angus charged, his nomination quickly validated by the terminally-enraged, steroid-casualty Abs.

"In my defense, even though I was quick to accuse, I did vote for life!" Anvil calmly returned.  "Would a werewolf vote for life?  I don't think so."

Since this recollection was "kind of hazy" Angus asked Mee to "roll back the tape".  But because this was a medieval setting and I had no idea what sorcery the hunter was raving about, I couldn't comply.  I did corroborate Anvil's claim that he voted for mercy last time out, however.

The rest of the village saw it that way too, and with seven votes of confidence, the Blacksmith was spared!  But that didn't mean that the inquisition was over for that round.  Jim the Fisherman quickly called out Shabinaqua the Other Traveling Bard and Abs instantly backed him up!

Unfortunately Shabinaqua's own defense was piss-poor at best:

"I'm not the Werewolf, I swear!  You can trust me, I can read people like a book!"

After this lame rebuttal inspired a series of groans, cat-calls and eye-rolls, it fell upon her partner Shaneequa to come to her defense:

"I make money with this chick, don't kill off my meal ticket!" she wailed.

"No way!" Ham Salad shouted.  "Look at her, she's got Seer in her teeth!"

Despite the robust dialogue, Shabinaqua only got three votes for the defense and she was soon a-swingin' from the rafters!  Fortunately this turned out to be a focused bit of bloodlust, since she was immediately outed as one of the three Werewolves!

Later that same night, the two remaining lycanthropes avenged their neck-stretched comrade by double-teaming Claudia the Alewife (and not in a good way)!

The next morning Jill the Washer Woman immediately went on the offensive, declaring: "I still think we made a mistake not killing the Vampire Hunter!"  Before the light of inquisition could fall upon him, Angus quickly deflected the attention towards Abs.

"He 'seconds' everything so quickly!  It's all that Werewolf blood, he can't control it!"

Swayed by that undeniable logic, I quickly 'seconded' that motion, realizing all-too-late that this probably looked kinda bad for me.

Abs conducted an admittedly-spirited defense, which was one part Chuck Norris and one part Ultimate Warrior.

"Listen to Abs!  I built you guys Total Gyms so you can get fit and ripped like me!  Now, could you guys defend yourselves against the Werewolves if you weren't ripped as you are now?!?!"  

Despite being better on the mic then Dwayne Johnson, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage combined, Abs couldn't avoid the gallows.  Unfortunately it was soon revealed that the mob had just executed a perfectly innocent villager!

That night, lured by the smell of low tide, the Werewolves crept into the village and ate the fish monger with a side of tartar sauce.  The following morning the villagers found Jim the Fisherman ripped into sushi-sized morsels!

By now, fear was sweeping through the village like a plague.  Armed with absolutely no credible evidence, Angus randomly nominated Mee.  Immediately I tried to un-nominated Mee, er, me, but for some reason that didn't work.  With the accusation now fully validated by his incongruous new ally Anvil, I was forced to do some quick talking.  Unfortunately my initial defense was even lamer then Shabinaqua's.

"It's not Mee, I promise!  When you nominate Mee, you nominate yourself!  Literally!  It's not me or Mee!  I swears!  Toadly."

Perhaps due to my last-second plea of taxpayer solidarity, I managed to escape the noose in a super-close 4 to 3 vote.

After this narrow brush with death, I felt compelled to go on the offensive.

"We just basically have to ask ourselves: has anyone been doing anything particularly suspicious?"  Not withstanding Mike the Minstrel's incessant babbling, Jill the Washer Woman begins to cast aspersions once again upon "Handsome" Angus the Supposed Vampire Hunter.  Quickly his nomination got "seconded", then um..."thirded".      

"I am here to keep the village safe!" he declared in no uncertain terms.  "I...(removes shades)...Handsome Angus am a Werewolf... NOT!   If you vote for me you will regret it.  I'm the muscle now that Abs is gone. Here, I'll prove it, let me show you the ab..."

This forced moderator Dean to break character, offering to pay Angus some serious real-world coin in order to avoid seeing the "ab".  In fact, so rattled was he by this threat that he missed my vote and nearly acquitted the Vampire Hunter on a tie by mistake.  After a quick recount, the decision was reversed and Angus was convicted on a margin of four votes to six!

"Eat it!" Andrew declared, proudly rubbing our collective noses in his "Villager" card.

During the night, the fortified Werewolves stormed back, grabbed Moi the Candlestick Maker and gnawed her down to the (q)wick.  

"I think we lost our chance at Mee!" Jill the Washer Woman accused in a now-familiar refrain.  Initially the spotlight fell upon Ham Bone the Town Butcher, but then Mr. "I Can Read People Like A Book" (I.E. Anvil the Blacksmith) had to go and open his stupid pie-hole.  After declaring in no uncertain terms that Ham and Mike are "good villagers" and that "Mee seems to be he most suspicious" I knew that it was the beginning of the end for this cowboy.    

In an act purely driven by self-preservation, I officially nominated Anvil, but no-one seconded my motion. Taking advantage of the confusion, Ham Platter pointed an official finger in my direction and instantly Anvil and Jill piled on.  Despite being so confident of my innocence that I eschewed the Chewie Defense, I lost the vote 3 to 2.

"Hold on, I'm gotta find my damned 'Villager' card," I muttered, rummaging around the room.

That night, the duo of Werewolves went all Dragonforce on Mike the Minstrel.  With that,  the lycanthropes achieved parity!  Immediately both Andrew B. and Angela revealed their lupine natures and reveled in their sweet n' hairy mutual victory.

And with that, the attendees split up once again to pursue a host of gamey new pursuits.  First off Dean took Mac, Claudia and Chad through a session of Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game.  

At first, the odd mash-up of selected heroes (Storm, Wolverine, Iron Man and Thor) didn't gel very well together against Doctor Doom, but mid-way through the game, the players found their footing and started to get a leg-up.

Funny enough, even though Dean was the owner of the game, only Chad had played it before.  Admittedly Dean made a few minor rule-goofs, resulting in a partial asterisk, but the heroes proved victorious with Claudia emerging as the individual winner.

Zombie Dice then shambled across the room to the other table.  In two quick contests, Joey proved triumphant against both Cheryl and Sabina.  Sometime you just gotta love a game that you can play in ten minutes!        

Especially when it give you the time to play two rounds of the visual telephone game Telestrations. 

Although the game has a nominal scoring system, it tends to suck most of the visceral joy out of the proceedings.  As such, Dawn, Chad, Sabina, Cheryl and Joey decided to ignore it and just get their sketch-on.    

They drew their little hearts out in game one, producing an incredible chain of drawings that carried everyone's original clues right to the very end.  After two more players (Mac and Sabina) were added to the mix in game two, the keywords didn't transfer quite so accurately.  Regardless, there were plenty of laughs and a great time was had by all.  And, hey, isn't that the whole raison d'être for this wacky event?

After this, Angela, Dawn, Sabina, Andrew B, Joey, Mike, Cheryl and Mark risked getting all of us banned from the store for life via a boisterous game of Cards Against Humanity.

Given the fact that there were eight players, it took over an hour to determine the winner with the momentum swinging back and forth.  Ultimately it was Cheryl who proved triumphant, winning the game and securing primo boxed seats in H, E...double hockey sticks in the process.

Things got more PC but no less cutthroat after Martian Dice was rolled out again.  After some frantic luck-pressin', Cheryl won with a whopping 30 points, Joey had 25, Dawn had 23, Mark had 19 and Sabina had 11.  

After Andrew heard that I'd brought along Nexus Ops he insisted that we play it.  So, after tempting Matt and Mike with a "It's kinda like Risk but good" sales pitch we were off to the races.

Right away Andrew exibited his characteristic gonzo luck by annexing a slew of incredibly valuable mines. Mike struck a balance between unearthing new units and coming across some moderately-valued resources.  Matt was similarly blessed.  In fact, the only shlub to get stuck with only one new mine was me.  To make matters worse, I didn't staff it properly on two separate occasions and had to settle for my crappy base income.

As I slowly revealed the planet's varied environs I did come across a slew of new recruits.  By the time my forces made it to the mid-board lava wasteland, I had a disproportionally large army.  Unfortunately, my economy was also a house of cards.

Even though Andrew was clearly establishing himself as the runaway leader, I had to attack Mike in the Liquifungus Forest in order to score some badly-needed Victory Points.  Naturally I failed to win a decisive victory, so this battle dragged on for a few turns longer then expected.  Eventually I pulled out the win, but it really hurt my drive to the Monolith. 

Given Andrew's rampant expansionism, both Matt and Mike were forced to engage him in a few minor dust- ups. Initially Matt's attacks were repulsed but Mike made some promising headway.  Unfortunately Andrew's ludicrously-rich economy ensured that he could pump out reinforcements quicker then anyone else. As a result, he became the first player to produce Rubium Dragons.  Not long after he took possession of the precious Monolith.

By capturing this pivotal mid-board location, Andrew began receiving two precious Energize Cards per turn. Knowing that Andrew was closing in on victory, all three of us entered into a silent pact to chip away at his lead.  Pretty soon he was fighting on three separate fronts.

I moved my own Rubium Dragon adjacent to the Monolith by failed to light up Andrew's forces stationed there was plasma.  Andrew also had spotty luck with this tactic on the main board, roasting only one of Mike's units after several attempts.  With time running out I was forced to attack the Monolith the old-fashioned way.

Using a "Gravity Anomaly", I reversed the combat order, allowing my grunts to strike before Andrew's Double Dragons.  Unfortunately the luck I needed to execute this strategy didn't materialize and I only scored one hit on a late roll.  Andrew struck back with a vengeance, playing "Frenzy" to give each one of his units two attacks apiece!  Needless to say, the resulting slaughter was as quick as it was complete. 

Even allied together, Mike, Matt and I couldn't stop Andrew's juggernaut-like momentum.  Within another turn or two, Andrew played his last Victory Point card, taking him to 10 points for the short-game win.  After taking a look at the clock, we realized that this one game of Nexus Ops took us right up to the end of Davecon regulation time.

During this interval, the other participants certainly hadn't been idle.  Mac, Dean, Claudia and Chad threw down in a chaotic game of Star Flux which saw Chad emerge triumphant.

Then Mac, Chad, Mark and Dawn played two games of Tsuro.  In the first match, Mac made a wily tile placement and drove his pops, Chad, off the board.  Mark's dragon as the last one left in the air during that first game.  Family ties also didn't amount to much in game two, as Dawn eliminated hubby Mark for the win!

Dean, Mark, Dawn, Chad and Mac also had another close encounter with Martian Dice.  In this heated battle, Chad proved victorious with a whopping twenty-nine points!   Although it takes a longer time to play, most participants seemed to agree that Martian Dice out-distances its undead sibling.

Angela then led Andrew B, Cheryl, Joey, Claudia and Sabina through a nice, peaceful bout of murder and mayhem via Gloom.

During these purloined tales of strife, insanity, abandonment, and incongruous bliss, Pathos Points were won and lost, creative yarns were spun, and more then one miserable soul met an Untimely Death.  Sabina ended up with the most miserable clan in death and slipped away with the win!

Knowing that the store was closing at five pm I decided to wind things down around four-thirty in order to distribute the end-of-day tickets, draw for the door prizes and give people enough time to do any last-minute shopping.  During all of this, the Monster Comic Lounge staff was nothing short of awesome.  They even  told us not to rush, offering to stick around later in order to facilitate our wrap-up.  I guess this probably isn't such a big deal when you actually like where you work!

After passing out the "Hey-You-Survived-To-The-End" ballots, I encouraged folks to deposit their tickets in our unconventional "Door Prize" receptacle:

Then I made sure everyone had a chance to fill out their "M.V.P." vote and deposit it in the skull of our favorite resident Dark Lord of the Sith:

Moments later our official winners were declared:

DOOR PRIZE WINNER 

($50.00 Gift Certificate from Monster Comic Lounge)

CHAD!!!

M.V.P. Winner 

($20.00 Gift Certificate from Monster Comic Lounge)

ANGELA!!!

The great thing about our guests is that they never cease to amaze me.  Sabina actual took it upon herself to provide a third prize, which turned out to be a bad-ass inflatable shark kite.  This allowed me to give out a runner-up door prize!  

RUNNER-UP DOOR PRIZE WINNER 

(for a Bad-Ass Inflatable Shark Kite)

ANGELA!!!

After taking great pains to leave the room in better shape then we'd found it, the Davecon attendees loitered around the store for a bit, recollecting the day's stories, chatting with the staff and making last-minute purchases.  Through it all, we got the distinct impression that Davecon had finally found a permanent home!  During this time, I expressed heartfelt thanks to the staff for putting up with our over-caffeinated / sugar-fueled shenanigans.   

"Oh, no problem," one of the employees replied.  "It sounds like you guys had a really great time.  How often do you run this event?" 

"Oh, once a year," I replied.

"Hmmm, only once a year?  Could you be persuaded to do it bi-annually?" he pursued with a wry smile.

"Oh, I dunno," I sighed, betraying my exhaustion.  "I think my constitution can only take one of these a year, but hey, if someone else wants to do one..."

I turned and looked at my friends expectantly.  A part of me still hopes that, one day, everyone will run their own annual eponymous con, so that all I need to do is master a few rulebooks, buy some snacks and beer and then show up to play.

Which leads me to my sole regret for the day: the fact that I only got a chance to play three games.  That's downright shameful.  Next year I need to avoid the kind of games we play during our epic, mid-week session and stick to shorter, quicker titles.   

Speaking of regrets, I also thought about all the money Quantum Frontier missed out on by not calling me back.  First off, we would have given them $100.00 for renting the "Danger Room".  To pay for this overhead, I probably would have charged an entry fee of $10.00 per person instead of $5.00.  Although this would have resulted in a much smaller gift certificate (probably $40.00 instead of $70.00), it still would have gone right back into the store's coffers. 

Then there was all the stuff we bought that day:

After a rough estimate I've determined that our group spent around $300.00 at Monster Comic Lounge that day.  So, all told, Quantum could have made around $450.00 if they'd only exhibited the common courtesy of calling me back.  

Which left me wondering: if Quantum Frontier can survive as a business, what would happen if I opened up my very own game store and actually applied the tenants of good customer service?

Hmmmmmmm...     

  

  

The Wheaton Effect Part Four: "Gloom"

Curse you, Wheaton.

As a frustrated writer and ham-ball actor you knew that I'd be susceptible to Gloom's charms, didn't you?  You knew that by featuring the game on your shmantzy interwebz show Tabletop that I'd rush out and buy it!  Didn't you!?!?

We'll I say to thee...NAY!  I most certainly did not rush out and buy your wares like the enthralled dupe of a snake-oil salesman!  Like a Zoloft-addled attendee at an Anthony Robbins symposium!  Like a...like a...

Like a Republican voter in November!  Zing!  

No, it took me a two whole weeks to buy a copy of Gloom.  So there, Wheaton!  I thumb my nose at your Svengali-like powers!   

Okay, enough with the cutesy intro.  Here's the specific episode that (eventually) reeled me in...

Oh, by the way, the video's appeal for me has absolutely nothing to do with my crush on Michele Boyd.  Or my crush on Amber Benson.  Or my crush on Wil Wheaton.  Or, fuck it, my crush on Meghan Camarena.

I had a chance to play an introductory match of Gloom during our first Cabin Con.  Here's my description of the game from that entry:

"In the Edward Gorey-esque world of 'Gloom', players represent a dour and eccentric family of misfits.  The goal of the game is to make your clan as miserable as possible before they expire whilst (and at the same time) making your rivals cheery and transcendent.  This is accomplished with the artful play of various modifier cards such as 'Diverted by Drink' or 'Mocked by Midgets'.  

"With the unique transparent card design, it's easy to keep tabs on the relative mood of any given character.  The game continues until one player's entire family is pushing up the daisies.  As soon as this happens, cumulative scores are calculated and the player who's family is the most miserable in death wins!"  

Wanna peruse the full rules in all their hoary glory?  You can find the document o' the dead right here.    

Like every other game we played that weekend, we really fucked up some of the rules.  For example, we may have played "Untimely Death" cards on characters with positive Self-Worth.  A-a-a-n-d I'm almost 100% sure that we added up points from all of the characters at the end of the game, both living and dead.  Whoopsie.

I wish I could blame all of this on intoxication but honestly, we weren't really that drunk.

Anyhoo, last weekend I really wanted to run it for Cheryl and her cousin Justin, properly this time.  But, as Gloom itself quickly teaches you: the best laid plans often go horribly awry.

So here, then, is how our little tragically unfolded:

THE FAMILIES  

I represented Dark's Den of Deformity consisting of:

Darius Dark, Sinister Ringmaster

Elissandre DeVille, The Illustrated Lady

Thumbelisa, The Diminutive Diva

Samson O'Toole, The Bearded Man

Mister Giggles, Creepy Clown

Cheryl was the Blackwater Watch clan including:

Willem Stark, Disturbing Handyman

The Old Dam, Murderous Matriarch

Angel, Starry-Eyed Serial Killer

Cousin Mordecai, The Red-Headed Stepchild

Balthazar, The Unfaithful Hound

Justin became Hemlock Hall, featuring:

Lord Wellington-Smythe, Dumbfounded Duke

Lola Wellington-Smythe, Wild Child

Goody Zarr, Nefarious Nanny

The Twins, Adorable Tots

Butterfield, the Lurking Butler

Since we couldn't agree on "who had the worst day" (man, I can't wait until the novelty of these gimmicky 'who starts first' rules finally wears off), I went first as "the owner of the game".

Dark's Den of Deformity

Darius Dark, ringleader-in-chief of Dark's Den of Deformity, often held elaborate banquets to keep the morale of his freakish staff up.  This elaborate meal included a home-made shark-infested custard which Darius was rather proud of.  Little did he know that his star freak, the Illustrated Woman Elissandre DeVille, had an irrational fear of custards and was thoroughly "Perturbed by the Pudding" (-10 Self-Worth).

For my second play I discarded and drew a new card.

Blackwater Watch

In search of a suitable Mr. Right, the Starry-Eyed Serial Killer Angel, ventured off to the big city to get her kill-on.  So frustrated was she by her inability to find an appropriate victim that she was eventually "Driven To Drink" (-15 Self-Worth).

Meanwhile The Red-Headed Step-Child Cousin Mordecai, was unceremoniously disowned by the rest of the clan.  He was immediately "Crippled by Creditors" (-20 Self-Worth).

Hemlock Hall  

The Wild Child Lola Wellington-Smythe abandoned her afterthought brats at Darius Dark's Circus so that she could lurk around behind the scenes and indulge her twisted fetish for tiger-baiting.  Unfortunately, the wily felines proved to be more clever then she anticipated and Lola was mercilessly "Taunted by Tigers" (for a whopping -30 Self-Worth).  

After hearing their mother's screams for help, The Twins rushed to her aid.  En route they tripped, fell into a rack of unicycles and "Broke Many Bones" (-20 to Self-Worth).

Dark's Den of Deformity

Horrified by the fin-filled flan, Elissandre DeVille hastily moved on to the main course:  prime rib.  Unfortunately, she "Choked On A Bone" and died!  

But not so fast!  Justin played "A Second Chance", canceling my "Untimely Death" card!  So, just seconds before Elissandre passed out, Mister Giggles (who's apparently trained as a first responder, BTW) rushed up and applied the Heimlich Maneuver.  Thanks to the Creepy Clown quick thinking, the bone popped out of Elissandre's gullet and bounced along the ground.  Nummie!

Good fortune continued to abound.  Although young Mordecai was "Crippled by Creditors", a wealthy uncle heard about his plight and personally wrote him into his will.  Co-incidentally, this same uncle died twenty three hours later.  After "Landing a Legacy", things were suddenly looking up for the Red-Haired Black Sheep (?) (now standing at +15 Self-Worth).

Blackwater Watch    

Suspecting duplicity, Mordecai's fellow family members booby-trapped his ill-begotten inheritance with a snack pack of cobras, black mambas, vipers and asps.  Just as he began counting up all of his phat lootz, Mordecai was suddenly "Started by Snakes" (for a total -20 Self-Worth).

Meanwhile, Angel, still drunk out of her gourd, began to "Suffer From Sores" after languishing in bed for so long (for a net -30 Self Worth).

Hemlock Hall 

In an effort to forget about the horrible meal that she'd just suffered through, Elissandre DeVille fled from the big top and took a stroll by a nearby lake where she was "Delighted By Ducklings", giving her a net +10 Self-Worth.   A-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w.

Justin then went on to play "Misfortune Favors the Old", allowing him to play up to two additional "Untimely Death" or negative Modifier cards.

Oblivious to all the drama happening to his wife and kids, Lord Wellington-Smythe was approached by a pack of panhandlers while out for a stroll on boardwalk.  After being chastised by the wealthy magnate for "sponging off responsible job creators", the mob suddenly realized that Wellington-Smythe was the one who closed down the monocle factory and shipped all of their jobs off to Mexico just to make the investors happy.  As such, the dumbfounded one-percenter was "Beaten by Beggars" (-15 Self-Worth).

Meanwhile, a particularly militant member of PETA, who'd just witnessed Lola Wellington-Smythe's blatant tiger-baiting, pushed in to feign assistance.  She led the dazed and deviant dilettante to the top of a set of steps and then "Pushed Her Down the Stairs", putting her into a deep, deep coma!    

☠  

And with that, Lola was sent six-feet under with a -30 Self-Worth!   

Dark's Den of Deformity 

My first card play was "A Tragic Misunderstanding".  So, as it turned out, Elissandre DeVille was the one who "Broke Many Bones" (net self-worth -25) while descending the nearby river bank while the Wellington-Smyth tots were so "Delighted by Ducklings" that they apparently forgot all about their now-deceased mother.   

Meanwhile, the entire population of the local leper colony scored a bitchin' Groupon deal and bussed in for a performance at Dark's Den of Deformity.  Not surprising, three days later the Den's Bearded Man Samson O'Toole was "Plagued By The Pox" (for -30 Pathos Points).

Blackwater Watch

Freaked out by his serpent-tainted windfall, little Mordecai ran screaming out into the woods.  In fact, he ran so far into the forest that he became hopelessly lost and "Never Returned" (scoring a grand total of -30 Self-Worth, including a -10 bump for having a matching 'Beast' icon).    

☠

In her second play, Cheryl dropped "To Be Or Not To Be" on Lola Wellington-Smythe and the notorious Wild Child suddenly emerged from her coma.  Meanwhile, The Old Dam, fed up with all the puke-filled bedpans, decided to push Angel down a flight of stairs as she was stumbling towards the bathroom one night to take a leak (-30 point final total).         

☠

Hemlock Hall

Little did the Twins know but the ducklings they so closely admired were afflicted with the very same pox that had recently swept through the circus.  The result: they "Contracted Consumption" and dropped to -30 Pathos Points.  

Given his abject failure to keep certain members of the Wellington-Smythe family intact, the incongruously-sensitive Butterfield turned to drink and was eventually "Ruined by Rum" (-25 Self-Worth).  

Dark's Den of Deformity

Alcoholism suddenly became rampant in the little town of Gloom.  To assuage the pain of having every bone in her body shattered, Elissandre DeVille also took to the bottle.  Unfortunately she was unaccustomed to the effects of hard liquor, "Drank Too Much Rye", and pulled a "Jimi Hendrix" (perishing with -35, thanks to a -10 bonus for the matching Goblet symbol)! 

☠

As if that wasn't bad enough, RT broke the story that Darius Dark was using (*Gasp!*) fake freaks in his Den of Deformity!  Zounds!  The Sinister Ringmaster was immediately "Scarred by Scandal" for negative 25 Pathos Points.

Blackwater Watch

     

Since the disfiguring nature of the pox plague had transformed Samson O'Toole into a legitimate freak, he was completely unfazed by the recent scandal.  As such, he became "Charmed By The Circus" (and ended up with a heart-warming -5 Self-Worth value).

Painfully aware of how many bodies were buried on the property by his homicidal mistress, The Old Dam's Unfaithful Hound Balthazar became "Pestered by Poltergeists", earning Cheryl -20 Pathos Points.  

Hemlock Hall

Seeking a distraction from all their recent ills, the Twins attended a high-profile cotillion.  Unfortunately they were "Disgraced At The Dance" after they started making out with one another right in the middle of a particularly heated Lambada session.

Meanwhile, with Lord Wellington-Smythe in traction, Butterfield in the Betty Ford clinic and Lola catatonic with tiger-trauma, Goody Zarr, the Nefarious Nanny, was left in the mansion all by her lonesome and nearly "Starved During A Storm" when a nasty hurricane hit to the town (gaining her a net -20 points).  

      

Dark's Den of Deformity

Sampson O'Toole was so charmed by his life in the circus that he neglected to look for a spouse until  

he was old, decrepit and devoid of any charms.  As such, the poor, bearded, poxy fuck "Died Old And Alone" (-30 point total).

☠

With their true feelings for each other finally revealed, the Twins decided to thumb their collective noses at society's rules and "Were Married Magnificently" (crawling back up to -5 Pathos Points!)

Blackwater Watch    

To try and offset all of the recent tragedy, The Old Dam ordered house handyman Willem Stark to go out into the woods and cut down a Christmas tree.  Little did she know that Stark's entire family was killed in a bizarre logging accident and he became "Terrified By Topiary" for -20 Self-Worth points.  

Looking to escape the oppressive atmosphere of the circus, Darius Dark accepted a high-profile invitation to dine with the town's luminaries.  So relieved was he to be surrounded by normal folks for a change, Darius proved to be both witty and urbane and "Found Fame At A Feast" (making him suddenly +10 to the good!)

Hemlock Hall  

Justin started with a "Twist of Fate", allowing him to "replace the top Modifier on a character with one from your hand".  So, just moments before Sampson O'Toole was about to succumb to the lethal effects of a broken heart, a charming circus groupie named Pamela invited him to a "Picnic in the Park".  Her precious company and the charming surroundings revived the Bearded Man, giving him +15 Pathos Points!

(Quick FAQ for any 'Gloom'-fans out there: was this a legal play?  Although 'Died Old And Alone' is technically an 'Untimely Death' card, it still had a Modifier on it and 'Twist of Fate' didn't specify that it it only works on 'Modifier CARDS'.  Bottom line is: we allowed it)

Although there was some debate as to whether or not that last play was legal, we really fucked up by allowing "Died Old And Alone" as a second card play.  As stated clearly in the rules, "'Untimely Deaths' can't be played on your second play".  D'oh!!!   

 ☠     

Dark's Den of Deformity

My first play ("A Chance To Begin Again") removed all the modifier cards on poor, beleaguered Sampson O'Toole.    

On the way to visit his newly-acquired love, the sheltered Sampson got "Trapped On A Train" for -20 Self-Worth points.

Blackwater Watch

While running back and forth on the train yelling "LEMME OFF...LEMME OFF...LEMME OFF...LEMME OFF...LEMME OFF...LEMME OFF!!!" Sampson drew the attention of a high-ranking member of the clergy.  After he was "Blessed By The Bishop", the pox-ridden freak spent the rest of his train trip in a total state of zen (+20 total Pathos Points).

Meanwhile, The Old Dam hit a mid-life crisis.  She began wearing cut-off jeans and tube tops (*HURRRK!!!*) and started banging anything with a body temperature over thirty-seven degrees.  As she "Grew Old Without Grace" her self worth plummeted down to -20 points!  Take heed, Madonna!  

Hemlock Hall      

After being horribly tortured by The Old Dam for his foliage related-fears, Willem Stark quit his job as the estate's handyman.  Free from the Blackwater's dark influence he instantly became "The Toast of the Town" gaining a net +15 Pathos Points in the process.

After having more loads dumped into her then a Maytag, The Grand Dam drowned her guilt and shame and was "Diverted By Drink" (making her +10 to the good).  

Dark's Den of Deformity  

Just before the train finally pulled into the station, someone told the Bishop that Samson was part of that "degenerate circus" run by a "reprobate" named Darius Dark.  Upon hearing the truth, the Bishop recanted his blessing and made sure that O'Toole and his ilk were "Chastised By The Church", giving him a net point total of -25.  

Notoriously cheap Lord Wellington-Smythe finally got a therapist for his tiger-fied (tiger-fied, geddit?) wife Lola.  After she was cured of her psychosis, Lola was positively walkin' on sunshine.  As such, she really wasn't paying attention when she left the shrink's office, walked out into traffic and was promptly smoked by a bus.  Still, she "Died Without Cares" and an unfortunate 0-point Pathos value!    

 ☠

Blackwater Watch

Balthazar, driven mad by the persistent poltergeist pestering, leapt out of the mansion's top floor window.  He died after "Falling From On High" taking -30 points to the grave with him (-10 for having the matching Death symbol).  

 ☠   

After making every hot after-hours underage nightclub in town look supremely lame, The Old Dam  was "Chased Away By Children" (bringing her to -10 Pathos Points).

Hemlock Hall  

One of those Taylor Lautner types made the mistake of chasing The Old Dam to a nearby lake where she used her feminine wiles (and two bottles of Smirnoff Ice) to seduce him.  "Finding Love At The Lake" boosted her Self-Worth factor to a nauseating +15.

Meanwhile, Lord Wellington-Smythe ordered Butterfield to remove a sizable hornet's nest affixed to the eave of their twelve-car garage.  Unfortunately the butler, still completely soused, tried to get it off with a pair of tongs and some oven mitts.  After he was grievously "Wounded By Wasps", Butterfield was now rockin' an enviable -45 point depression total.

Dark's Den of Deformity

Although a freak, Samson O'Toole was still a pious freak.  Being called out by the church really crushed his spirit and he "Was Consumed From Within", taking -25 Pathos points with him to the grave.  

 ☠

I followed this up with "A Stormy Night", allowing me to draw four cards and play "An Unpleasant Surprise".  Just as the dinner party was wrapping up an intoxicated Darius Dark nullified his feast fame by climbing up onto the table, inviting the guests to witness the "Biggest Show on Earth" and then dropping his trousers.  "Scarred by Scandals" once again, Darius sat at a (dis)respectful -25 Self-Worth.      

Blackwater Watch

Willem Stark's reputation as the town's golden child didn't last for very long.  The savings which he earned working for The Old Dam eventually dried up and one day he was caught "Stealing From A Stiff", reducing his Self-Worth to a balance of zero.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the corpse he looted just so happened to belong to the local "traveller" community.  Assuming foul play, Stark was "Jinxed By Gypsies" and suddenly found himself at a suicide-inducing -45 Pathos Points!  

Hemlock Hall

Blinded by wasp stings and possessing the blood-alcohol level of Christina Aguilera, Butterfield wandered off into the woods where he was "Devoured By Weasels" (perishing at a truly admirable -50 Self-Worth, thanks to a +10 bump due to the "Beast" icon ).

 ☠

Despite what appeared to be a happy union on the surface, the Twins became "Burdened By Boils"!  Oh-oh, looks like someone's been steppin' outside the gene pool!  (-30 total self-worth)

Dark's Den of Deformity

Humiliated by his recent "overexposure" and distraught by the loss of his most lucrative freaks, Darius Dark "Died of Despair" (try saying that five times real quick).  All told, Darius managed to rack up a good -40 points before shuffling off the mortal coil.

 ☠

This particular "Untimely Death" card forced me to discard my entire hand, nullifying my second card play.

Blackwater Watch

The gypsy curse on Willem Stark turned out to be a pretty nasty "Stop Breathing" curse.  Eventually the disgraced handyman "Ran Out Of Air", taking an impressive -45 Pathos Points into the afterlife.

 ☠

Cheryl then decided to discard and redraw for her second play.

Hemlock Hall

En route to the STD clinic, the Twins were set upon by a pack of vicious...poodles.  "Pursued By Poodles" was the final humiliation for the incestuous imps, bringing their self-loathing total down to a whopping -45 points!

Tired of all the greed, scandal and abuse of power, the previously unseen Count Wellington-Smythe took decisive action and excised his son Lord (yes, his first name is actually 'Lord')  "Out Of The Will"!  Understandably shocked, Lord Wellington-Smythe vowed to clean up his business practices and reconcile with his family, a pledge that lasted for approximately twenty-five minutes. (-35 Pathos Points)

Dark's Den of Deformity

My first card play was "Body Thief".  Creepy Clown Mister Giggles (0 Pathos Points) was revealed (to no-one's surprise) as a slimy corpse-thief, making off with the remains of Willem Stark (-45 Pathos Points).  Both were immediately removed from the game.  

Meanwhile the pox continued to circulate around the Den.  This time it was the Diminutive Diva Thumbelisa who came down with persistent poops after her delicate digestive system was "Distressed By Dysentery" (for -25 Self-Worth).  Holy alliteration, Batman!

Blackwater Watch

Drunk on love (and six quarts of brandy), The Old Dam slipped on the trail coming back from the lake and was "Pierced By Porcupines" (net 0 Pathos Points).

"The Root Of All Evil" was Cheryl's second play, allowing her to steal a card from both Justin and I.  As it turned out, the Old Dam Managed to crawl out of that nest of porcupines and made her way back to town.  Unfortunately, during the painfully protracted trip back, she "Was Hunted By Horrors" (for a total of -55 points).

(Note: this play would have been awesome if it had been legal.  Part of the condition of playing 'The Root Of All Evil' is that 'you must have a living character with the Lucre icon to play this card."  At the time, The Old Dam had the 'Marriage' icon.  Honestly, am I the only one who didn't cheat during this game?)  

Hemlock Hall

In order to recover from being written out of the will, Lord Wellington-Smythe's business practices became increasingly dodgy.  Eventually his abuses became so blatant that he was publicly "Cursed By The Queen".

An incredibly illegal "Untimely Death" card was then played on Wellington-Smythe, putting him in the dirt with an obscene -50 points.  Zoinks!

Dark's Den of Deformity   

Still pursued by horrors real and imagined, The Old Dam went to her family doctor and got a prescription for Atavan, allowing her to "Sleep Without Sorrows" (raising her total to only -20).

I then chucked out a card and drew a new one.

Blackwater Watch  

The previously tabled "Was Hunted By Horrors" forced Cheryl to skip her turn.

Hemlock Hall

The Twins managed to beat their pursuing poodles to death, but found no solace when they were "Greeted By (Their Vengeful) Ghosts" for a hefty total if -50 points.

Yet another illegal "Untimely Death" card ("Choked By A Tie"?  "Overcome By The Measles"?) killed The Twins whilst adding an additional -10 for the matching Skull icons (for a total of -60).    

Dark's Den of Deformity 

I played "To Be Or Not To Be", revealing that The Twins had experienced a premature burial.  I tried to shift this same card to Thumbelisa and finish the game but Justin countered with "A Second Chance", giving him the power to cancel one "Untimely Death" Card as it's being played.  Curses!

For my second play I chucked out a card and drew a new one.

Blackwater Watch

After dodging a near-death experience, Thumbelisa experienced a personal Renaissance.  She set up a profile on "Plenty of Fish", started dating Tom Cruise and soon both of them were "Wondrously Well Wed" (bringing her up to +10 Self-Worth).    

Meanwhile The Old Dam woke up from her firful slumber feeling famished.  Unfortunately, the drunken Butterfield tried to prepare her meal in an Easy Bake Oven and she was "Sickened By Salmon" (for a decent -40 Pathos Point total).

Hemlock Hall    

Justin started his turn with "A Stormy Night", allowing him to pull four new cards and play "A Chance To Begin Again", liberating The Old Dam from her myriad of burdens!

For his second card play, Justin re-killed the Twins!  Just as he was completing his second card play, Cheryl inexplicably played "Body Thief" as a reaction (?), removing The Old Dam and Darius Dark's husk from the game.

(Note: this was also a flagrant rules oversight.  The only way that Events can be played as a response is if it says 'Cancel ______ as it's being played'.)     

And so, oblivious to the Death Star-sized asterisk hovering over our heads, the game came to its dubious conclusion.  

Final Scores

Justin / Hemlock Hall...-125 points 

Cheryl / Blackwater Watch...-90 (-20 bonus for matching icons) 

Me / Dark's Den of Deformity...-60 

As a rabid fan of Risk 2010 and Sid Meier's Civilization: The Boardgame I wasn't quite sure how Justin would react to a hand management storytelling game.  But between Gloom's vague similarity to Magic: The Gathering and the ability to give fits of frustration to your opponent, he really seemed to dig it.

Finally, my apologies to the good people of Atlas Games as well as to designer Keith Baker for fucking up so badly.  Honestly, the game is very easy to learn and play.  I know, I know...I really feel like turning in my Rules Lawyer degree.

If it's any consolation we still had an absolute blast exercising our creative muscles with Gloom.  Honestly, I can't think of a better way to get warmed up for Halloween!

Gloom scores four hideous pips on the die-o-meter.

Sick and tired of wearing shades 'cuz yer future's so bright?  Click on the image below to order a copy of Gloom and help out ye olde blog at the same time...