Davecon 2014

 
As soon as the holidays are over I'm usually inundated with emails and Bookface messages that look a lot like this:

"When is Davecon this year?"

"Have you nailed down a date for Davecon yet?"

"Can Davecon be on a Saturday in late April or early May? My parents will be in town and I wanna use 'em as babysitters!"

"Why have you not responded to my previous four emails RE: Davecon?"

But it's a damned good thing that this happens. Every year I vow to hold this annual gaming event dedicated to my own galloping ego at the end of Winter for two reasons:

1. The fact that it's Shpringtime and I'm as happy as a little gurl. 
2. I don't wanna be stuck indoors on a day when the weather might even vaguely be nice. Sorry, but after I've been cooped up indoors for the past five months I feel a compulsion to crawl, Gollum-like, out into the sun and languish there for as long as I can stand it.

But, you know how it is, I always get super-busy and let things slide. Thank Bahamut that I've got so many enthusiastic and, *um*... email-savvy friends to light a fire underneath my lazy ass.

Knowing that people do need plenty of advanced notice to plan for such things in this wacky work-a-day world, I began the oft-protracted process of organization back on March 21'st. I started by surveying the group for an optimal date and April 26'th turned out to be the only Saturday in the foreseeable future which everyone had available.

Since things had gone rather well last year at Monster Comic Lounge I sent off the following missive to the store's owner on March 24'th:

Hey, Mike.
 
With the (theoretical) approach of Spring my people are bugging me for yet another all-day gaming thang at Monster Comic Lounge. Apparently last year's event went over really, really well with the horde.
 
As a refresher, here's the plan:

1. It's usually held on a Saturday in the month of April from open 'til close. 
2. I charge $5.00 a head which goes directly into a gift certificate purchased from the store.  This is given away as a door prize. 
3. I also do an "MVP" draw for the person who was the most fun to game with. If you wanted to donate some cheesy throwaway thing for a prize, that would be cool.  If not, I can provide something.
4. Last year we had just over 14 people attend.    

Would the back room be available a month from now: I.E. April 26'th?  

Thanks!

-Dave

Optimistically, I teased the group with the following Facebook message: 

"Stayed tuned folks, hopefully an official announcement is coming soon."

But then I waited. And waited. And waited. Pretty soon I started to get heat from the masses so I bashed out a follow-up on March 30'th:

Hey, Mike.

Did you get a chance to ponder this? The natives are getting restless.

Thanks!

Mercifully his reply came back later that same day:

This should be no problem. I'll double check the calendar tomorrow at the store and let you know. 

And then I waited. And waited. And waited.

Veteran attendee and chief under-ass-fire-lighter Dawn posted this passive-aggressive l'il missive on the event's Bookface page on April 1'st:

"No official announcement? Based on what people have said I tentatively booked the 26th with my parents. But I did say tentatively!! So no pressure, ha-ha!!"

"Ha-ha", indeed.

The next day I sent off another email, asking Mike if we were good to go. I heaved a sigh of relief when, just a few short hours later, the reply of "Yes, everything is set" came back.

So, for the record, Mike does answer email, he just doesn't answer the first email. He's kinda like a reverse Jacob Two-Two. Kidding! We love ya, Mike.

Anyway this was all I needed to make an official announcement to the group:

"It's official! Davecon 2014 will be held at Monster Comic Lounge (2091 Gottingen Street) from 10 AM until close on Saturday April 26'th!!!"

The event's Bookface page exploded with excitement. Commemorative photos and videos from past Davecons were shared. Transportation and luncheon plans were discussed. Most importantly, a speculative list of games that might be played were floated. This time out I vowed to make amends for my poor showing last year, so most of the titles I proposed to bring along would be quick to set up, teach and play.

But then, just six days later, I received the following troubling note from Mike:

Hi David,

I botched this date thing up royally. April 26th/27th is our Magic pre-release event, and we will be having 100+ people through those days for it.

We had not marked it on our calendar and somehow it slipped my mind. If you are ok with rescheduling we officially have April 19th and May 10th available if any of these are all right.
 
I will throw in some extra loot as a bribe for forgiveness for my blunder.

Let me know if this is all right with you.

Thanks,
Mike   

I sent this out to the group fully expecting a "TOO...MUCH...GUILT, MUST...LOG...OUT..OF... BOOKFACE..." communal reply. So color me relieved when everyone seemed to be okay with May 10'th as an alternative. Mike more then made up for his honest mistake by offering all Davecon attendees a tax-in deal for their purchases that day. Their reaction was understandable jubilant.

But despite my best efforts to to be pathologically inclusional, there would be a few conspicuous and unforeseen absences that day. Long time Davecon attendee / perennial Ultimate Werewolf moderator Dean got his wires crossed about the new date and ended up embroiled in some work-related obligations. To add to this, 2013 Door Prize Winner Chad (so memorable in last-years Werewolf game as "Anvil the Town's Blacksmith") and his son Malcolm (even more memorable as "Abs the Total Gym Salesman") had to bow out for an impromptu house showing.

I wont lie to you folks; this nearly killed me. Confession time: I'm kinda like John-Boy on The Waltons; I freak out whenever one of my extended family members are unaccounted for. For a moment I considered re-scheduling the whole shebang but I knew that wouldn't be fair to all the people who'd paid particular attention to the changes and made special arrangements to attend. As such, I decided to press on with the original plan.

Came the dawn, time to go. With Cheryl and Sabina in tow I raced down to the store.

As soon as the staff turned that front-door key, I bombed into the place to set up my orientation signage and snag some B-roll video footage.

People were already starting to arrive so I quickly finished up with this and scrambled back to the game room to set up the registration table. What I saw back there immediately made my heart sink. A good one-fifth of the space was occupied by an eight-foot-high stack of heavy comic book boxes.

"How many people do you have?" Mike casually asked.

"I'm not sure," I muttered in a daze. "Could be as few as ten or as many as twenty."

Mike winced and then gestured towards the cardboard elephant in the corner of the room.

"Sorry about all the boxes. Last Saturday was Free Comic Book Day and we were short on space, so we had to put some stuff back here temporarily. Eventually we're gonna move 'em out; we just need to find a place for it."

I made a concerted effort to tack a smile onto my face. Between my missing peeps and our lack of space, I was really starting to get pissed. This feeling intensified when several of my games fell off of the crowded registration table and landed on the floor.

'I'm done,' I silently vowed to myself. 'Done.'

After all of my obligatory housekeeping was done I finally started to calm down. By then, everyone who was going to show up, did. All told we had sixteen attendees this year: Angela, Audrey, Andrew, Cheryl, Claudia, me, Dawn, Jeremy, Joey, Mark, Matt, Mike, Sabina and three new peoples: Joey's friend Kelsey and some old work pals Ali and Shawn. My mood immediately lifted when I saw so many awesome people gathered together in one place, even if it did little for my claustrophobia.

After introductions were made and pleasantries were exchanged, people immediately got down to brass tacks. Jeremy, Cheryl and Audrey taught quick studies Shawn and Ali how to play the classic shuffleboard-esque die-chucker Tumblin' Dice. The great thing about tha' T-Dyce is that you can set it up in a corner of the room, play it for a little bit, move on to something else and then come back to it whenever you want.

The game got played three times in toto that day and here are the results:

GAME ONE

Start Time: "Early" End Time: "Later"

PARTICIPANTS: Jeremy, Cheryl, Shawn, Ali, Audrey. WINNER: AUDREY!

NOTES: Although Audrey was triumphant, Shawn just seemed pleased that he "took down" fellow noob Ali. Hope the couch was comfy that night, pal!   

GAME TWO 

Start Time: 11:25 am End Time: 11:40 am  

PARTICIPANTS: Ali, Shawn, Matt and Mark. WINNER: MARK! 

NOTES: Ali *quote/unquote* got her "ass kicked." In other news: Shawn, Matt and Mark are all big, smelly, jerk-faces for pickin' on a poor, defenseless girl like that. For shame, boys, for shame. LIFETIME DAVECON BAN ON THE THREE OF YOUZE!

GAME THREE

Start Time: 1:55 pm End time: 2:05 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Kelsey, Joey, Dawn and Jeremy. WINNER: JOEY & JEREMY TIE! 

NOTES: ♪♫ Everyday we Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin' / Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin'..." ♪♫...etc, etc.    

This segued rather nicely into the Dramamine-friendly dexterity game Riff Raff. In this one, participants use a deck of cards numbered one to ten to load goods onto a wildly-swaying ship at sea. Players secretly chose one of the cards to reveal and the numbers determine both turn order and what section of the ship you store your crap on.

If flotsam starts tumbling off the masts, the active player can try and grab their bits (?) before they hit the box or the table. Successfully en-snatchified cargo are eliminated from the game while everything else becomes the tumbler's responsibility. The first player to successfully stow all of their goods away wins.

Riff Raff was played twice that day and here, then, are the hotly-contested results:

GAME ONE

Start Time: "Even Later" End Time: 11:25 am

PARTICIPANTS: Ali, Shawn, Matt and Mark. WINNER: SHAWN!

NOTES: By all accounts, Jeremy did a great job introducing this fantastic game to the new players. In what was described as a "nail biter", Shawn was the first to stash all of his detritus below deck and win the game!

GAME TWO 

Start Time: "Now" End Time: Um, also apparently "now".

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Mark and Sabina. WINNER: ANGELA! 

NOTES: Angela overcame a tsunami of motion sickness in order to win! 

 
A brain-munchin' frenzy broke out at another table with Zombie Dice. This one was played eight freakin' times that day, making it one of the quickest and most popular games of the event.

And here are all the deets:

GAME ONE 

Start Time: 10:50 am End time: 11:10 am  

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Cheryl and Sabina. WINNER: ANGELA! 

GAME TWO

Start Time: 11:10 am End Time: Who the fuck knows? 

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Cheryl and Sabina. WINNER: CHERYL!

GAME THREE

Start Time: 11:15 am End Time: Huh?

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Cheryl and Sabina. WINNER: CHERYL! 

GAME FOUR

Start Time: 11:45 End Time: 11:56 am  

PARTICIPANTS:  Ali, Cheryl, Claudia, Matt, Shawn. WINNER: MATT! 

NOTES: "Bam, Bam, Blam!"

GAME FIVE

Start Time: 11:56 End Time: 12:10 pm 

PARTICIPANTS:  Ali, Cheryl, Claudia, Matt, Shawn. WINNER: CHERYL! 

GAME SIX

Start time: 12:00 noon End Time: 12:10 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Jeremy, Dawn, Kelsey, Mark and Joey. WINNER: JEREMY!

GAME SEVEN

Start Time: 2:50 pm End Time: 3:02 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Angela and Matt WINNER: MATT!

NOTES: "Jerk!"  Hmmmm, methinks Angela was taking notes for this one. 

GAME EIGHT

Start Time: 3:03 pm End Time: 3:13 pm  

PARTICIPANTS: Angela and Matt WINNER: MATT!

NOTES: "Jerkwad!" Yep, Angela was definitely taking notes for this one.  

 
After working the room for a little bit I finally addressed my secret and selfish motivation for arranging this whole dog n' pony show in the first place: to play some motherfuckin' games, yo! As Kelsey, Joey and Dawn eased into the brown-acid-inspired tile-matcher Dizios (which eventually saw Dawn triumph), I squeezed into the seat across from Andrew at 10:50 am to show him how to play Marvel Dice Masters: Avengers vs. X-Men. By 11:20 we'd played our first game.

Despite the fact that I'd fielded an all-X-Men team consisting of Angel, Storm, Cyclops, Beast, Wolverine, Professor X, Colossus and Rogue and Andrew went with a completely schizophrenic mix of Fantastic Four, Avengers, Marvel Knights and a few random dirt-bags ("Spider-Man working with Doc Ock? Wha...?"), the wily bastard still managed to win. My tendency to attack without securing my defenses first clearly indicated that my head wasn't in the game.

After Andrew swapped out The Thing for Black Widow we dove into Game Two. Even though he managed to get his Hulk out (as Andrew is want to do from time to time), I battled back with a solo Wolverine. I managed to knock him down to four Life Points but eventually I succumbed to a rogues gallery of heavy hitters including the Punisher and Venom.

This second match started at 11:20 am and wrapped up at 11:45. You gotta love a game that's quick to explain, easy to set up and still provides a thematically-evocative experience! Yeah, I know it's luck based. Yeah, I know that the rich asshole with all the supa-dupa ultra-rares probably has an advantage. But I don't care; I friggin' love this game.

Needless to say, you can imagine my horror when Mike recently told me that WizKids will be producing a D&D version of the game. In a completely unrelated point, that Paypal "Donate" button in the upper right hand corner of the page ain't just for decoration, people!  

Andrew, Mike and I then segued right into a game of Splendor, which I purchased not long after demoing the game to people during International Tabletop Day.

Over the course of precisely forty-five minutes (the exact same play time promised on the tin!) I mapped out a devious plan for victory. I didn't bother with luring Nobles over to my side with promises of swanky accommodations and / or random sexual favors. No, this time out I went right for the low-level Developments that provide single Prestige Points and then decided where to go from there.

True to my word I picked up an Emerald and an Onyx mine and then used these two new acquisitions to make a Ruby deposit that much cheaper. This scored me three more Prestige Points and, more importantly, the chance to carve out another vein of cost-reduced Rubies. After a fortuitous two-of-a-kind chip score, I had just enough to procure a 7-Ruby Onyx Development which served up another four Prestige. Just like that I was already more then halfway to my goal!

With a treasure trove of permanent gems now padding my coffers I then branched out with some el cheapo Sapphire and Diamond mines. This snowballed into a discounted, three-Prestige Point structure and a third Onyx-related caravan that gave me two more. I hit fifteen Prestige with that last transaction and proudly proclaimed my victory when the turn cycle ended.

FINAL SCORES

Me...15 Prestige Points

Andrew...14 Prestige Points

Mike...9 Prestige Points

I really have a thing for Splendor. Maybe it's the casino-quality poker chips. Maybe it's the strategic path you have to map out for yourself. Maybe it's the game's runaway-snowball-rollin'-downhill pacing. Whatever it is, I really dig this game and it shows in my incongruously-respectable win/loss record.

Meanwhile, from 11:15 am to noon, Jeremy led Dawn, Joey and Kelsey through a game of the classic bluffing/deduction game Love Letter. 

Even though the photo above looks like the most boringest image ever committed to a memory card, Love Letter is a blast to play, as the participants that day would most likely attest. Jeremy and Kelsey battled back and forth for the affections of the Princess but ultimately it was Kelsey who emerged triumphant!

Meanwhile, at another table, Matt steered Sabina, Angela and Mark into a confrontation with the Boss Monster.

Although it didn't grab me the first time I played it, Boss Monster's whimsical art and O.C.D.-style game-play (which rewards players for optimizing their maze's lethality) could easily tempt me into trying it again. Everyone who played that afternoon seemed to dig it, particularly Mark who proved to be "DA BOSS".

The revelry continued at another table where Cheryl proposed a run-through of Timeline: Historic Events married with Timeline: Music & Cinema. The brilliant simplicity of the Timeline series actually makes me wonder why it took Frédéric Henry so long to invent it. 

The game is set up by thoroughly shuffling all one-hundred-and-ten cards contained within the spiffy-looking tin. Each card has an historical event depicted on both sides but only one side shows the year in which this occurred.

After each player is dealt four historic event cards with the date concealed one random card is then placed date-side-up on the table. Players then take turns selecting and placing one of their cards either to the left or to the right of the revealed card, indicating that it happened before or after that date. The card is then flipped over to see if the guess was correct. If it wasn't, the card is chucked out and the player picks a replacement off the top of the draw deck. If they were right, the player is one-quarter of the way to victory! The first person to successfully place all of their cards within the Timeline wins!

Naturally, as more and more cards go down, the Timeline becomes increasingly convoluted and it gets harder to wedge new cards in-between all the revealed dates. For example, most people know that the The Mutiny on the Bounty happened long after construction began on the Great Wall of China, but did the First Hot Air Balloon Channel Crossing happen before or after Captain Bligh was set adrift?

Timeline proved to be a big hit and no less then six games were played during the course of the day. Here's the official tally:

GAME ONE 

Start Time: 12:15 pm End Time: 12:27 pm  

PARTICIPANTS: Audrey, Cheryl, Claudia and Dawn. WINNER: CLAUDIA! 

NOTES: "Learning Is Fun!" was un-ironically recorded on the game record sheet. You can't get higher testimony then that...

GAME TWO 

Start Time: 12:27 pm End Time: 12:35 pm  

PARTICIPANTS: Audrey, Cheryl, Claudia and Dawn. WINNER: DAWN!

GAME THREE 

Start Time: 12:35 pm End time: 12:40 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Audrey, Cheryl, and Claudia. WINNER: AUDREY! 

NOTES: Winner of the Davecon "No Shit, Sherlock!" Award goes to whoever wrote "The moon is old" on the game record sheet. 

GAME FOUR 

PARTICIPANTS: Sabina, Mike, Claudia and me. WINNER: CLAUDIA

NOTES: Claudia, Mike and Sabina enter "sudden death" but Claudia outlasts her opponents by drawing "The First Appearance of the Dinosaurs"! 

GAME FIVE

PARTICIPANTS: Sabina, Mike, Claudia and me. WINNER: ME!

NOTES: My finishing move was "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple. Great, now that'll be stuck in my head for days.

GAME SIX

PARTICIPANTS: Sabina, Mike, Claudia and me. WINNER: ME!

NOTES: My encyclopaedic knowledge of horror films serves me well when I nestle the Texas Chainsaw Massacre card in between a bunch of 1970's dates.

I managed to resist the Timeline series until the Music & Cinema edition made me cave. And I'm sure glad that I did since I don't have any trivia games in my collection and the intuitive and simple mechanic at the heart of this one makes it easy to teach and play. This one's like a good movie: superficially fun on the surface but with a deeper meaning underneath.     

Between 12:20 pm and 12:35 pm, Joey, Kelsey and Jeremy dared to compare Martian Dice to the oft-played Zombie Dice. Once again, Jeremy played the role of instructor, but this didn't prevent him from annihilating his two competitors. No word as to which of the two games people preferred. 

When a bunch of games wrapped up all at the same time, it gave us a chance to play Bang! The Dice Game together.

This one marries the secret objectives and special character powers of the original Bang! card game with the Yahtzee-esque qualities of King of Tokyo. Here's the low-down on this particular varmint right from Board Game Geek:

Bang! The Dice Game keeps the core of the Bang! card game in place. At the start of the game, players each take a role card that secretly places them on a team: the Sheriff and deputies, outlaws, and renegades. The Sheriff and deputies need to kill the outlaws, the outlaws win by killing the Sheriff, and the renegades want to be the last players alive in the game.

Each player also receives a character card which grants him a special power in the game. The Sheriff reveals his role card and takes the first turn of the game. On a turn, a player can roll the five dice up to three times, using the results of the dice to shoot neighboring players, increase the range of his shots, heal his (or anyone else's) life points, or put him in range of the Indians, which are represented by nine tokens in the center of the table. Each time a player rolls an arrow, he takes one of these tokens; when the final token is taken, each player loses one life point for each token he holds, then the tokens are returned to the center of the table.

If a player collects a trio of Gatling symbols on the dice, he fires one shot at everyone else and rids himself of Indian tokens. Who'll get his shot off first? Play continues until one team meets its winning condition – and death won't necessarily keep you from winning as long as your teammates pull through!

GAME ONE - CHARACTERS

Andrew...Black Jack

Me...Lucky Duke

Dawn...Jourdonnais

Jeremy...Jesse Jones

Joey...Slab the Killer

Kelsey...Calamity Janet

Mike...Willy the Kid

In that first match I pardner-ed up with my slowly-revealed Outlaw allies to ventilate Deputy Slab. It soon became patently obvious that Mike was rockin' the Sheriff's tin star and between Indian Arrows and gettin' triple-teamed by me, Kelsey and Jeremy, Willy eventually went limp.

THE SECRET ROLES 

Sheriff: Mike 

Deputies: Andrew and Joey

Renegade: Dawn

WINNERS: "The (New Age) Outlaws": I.E. me, Jeremy and Kelsey! 

  

GAME TWO - THE CHARACTERS

Andrew...Paul Regret

Me...Vulture Sam

Dawn...El Gringo

Jeremy...Suzy Lafayette

Joey...Rose Doolan

Kelsey...Sid Ketchum

Mike...Kit Carlson

That second match proved to be a vicious and cut-throat affair. After tippin' her ten-gallon hat kinda early, Deputy Dawn got interred in Boot Hill by Kelsey, Jeremy and myself. Meanwhile, Mike got far too big fer his britches and found himself on the receiving end of a lead shower by the same pack o' desperadoes.

Kelsey started firing indiscriminate shots around the table and pretty soon she was put in the dirt by some sharp-shootin' Indians and long-range fire from Andrew. As Vulture Sam I'd been attacked on several occasions by Joey and Dawn but as each opponent dropped dead I regained two Life. Exactly how Sam does this I didn't wanna know.

Since Joey had engaged in a running gun battle with both Andrew and myself right from the get-go, it didn't take much to figger out who the law was 'round them there parts. Between Jeremy, Andrew and myself we quickly made short work of Joey for the win.  

THE SECRET ROLES 

Sheriff: Joey

Deputies: Mike and Dawn

Renegade: Kelsey

WINNERS: "The (Not-So-New Age) Outlaws": I.E. me, Jeremy and Andrew! 

So, what do I think of Bang! The Dice Game? I think it successfully encapsulates the spirit of Bang! without all of the confusing iconography or required head count. Yes, this newer version doesn't quite have the same interplay, depth or nuance, but it's easier to table and jump right into. Having said that, both games are different enough from one another that there's no need to purge the original from your collection.

From 2:10 pm to 2:45 pm Andrew took Jeremy, Audrey and Cheryl through a game of Splendor. Since Jeremy had already played this one before Andrew used this as an excuse to mercilessly destroy his inexperienced opponents, including newcomers Cheryl and Audrey. What an asshole, huh?

Not long after Dawn, Mark, Kelsey and Joey got into an epic contest of Seafarers of Catan which eventually saw Kelsey triumph.

Around 3 pm we ended and / or paused all active games to begin our traditional annual run of Ultimate Werewolf. Even though Dean, our esteemed and venerable narrator, was M.I.A. Mike did an awesome job hosting the hipster-y Kickstarted Max Temkin version of the game.  

Almost immediately Matt was horribly mauled by the secret cabal of lycanthropes. No-one was suprised when he revealed his "Seer" card since that seems to equate an immediate death sentence in every single one of our games.

Dawn then decided to go on the hunt, accusing Andrew, alias Sheriff J.T. Stone, of playing "psychological games" since he'd picked a role that he "thinks will protect him".

"Hey, my grandpappy founded this here town!" Andrew replied.

"Oh, he's definitely guilty," Mark intoned.

A flurry of accusations flew around the room. Andrew nominated Mark but it received no traction. Jeremy fingered Andrew (?) in response, which was immediately backed up by Mark. However, the resulting vote was dead even, sparing the Sheriff from the gallow's pole.   

That night Jeremy, A.K.A. the Sheriff's pimp, was hideously mauled.

"I'm free!" Andrew was heard to enthuse.

Dawn continued her vocal crusade as wolf-finder general. This time she cast aspirations on both Andrew and hubby Mark who was playing the role of Francis the town Priest.

"You can only do one at a time!" Mike asserted.

"Then let's start with the Priest," she growled. "Religion's gotta go!"

Just as soon as Mike's call for back up left his lips, Joey the town drunk jumped in to lend his support.

"But I couldn't possibly have affected them since I'm touched by God's holy light!" Mark said, raising a hand heavenward.

Even though moderator Mike was supposed to be completely neutral he couldn't help but say:

"Okay, I can't vote, but if I could..."

Mike's moment of candor was reflected in a unanimous vote to hang the Priest who, sadly, turned out to be completely innocent.

"Everyone wanted to kill Mark!" Mike noted.

"What can I say, I played my role too well. Everybody hated me anyway," Mark lamented.  

"When I was Seer I picked you first," Matt confessed from out of the blue and the entire room erupted in gales of laughter. 

That night, the Werewolves attempted to chow down on Angela but she was secretly spared by closeted physician Andrew!

The next day, after I said that Joey looked "a little slippery over there", Kelsey piled on to second my nomination. "You gotta get a job," Andrew chastised, instantly turning all of the Republican / Tea Party townspeople against him. After a weak-sauce "I didn't mean to vote thumbs down on Andrew last time" rebuttal, the town's liquored-up layabout was soon a-swingin' from the rafters, dead but incontrovertibly human.

The following morning, poor Claudia (A.K.A. Helga) was found disemboweled amidst the rose bushes.

"We gotta make something happen," J.T. insisted. "So I think it's clear; it's between Sabina and Kelsey."

I twisted Sabina's protestations of innocence around to second her nomination. By the time the prosecution was finished, all she could do was beg for mercy. 

"You voted to kill the town drunk!" Andrew insisted. "He was innocent, he wasn't hurting anybody!"

Then, from the corner of the room, Angela suddenly blurted: "I think he's wrong, I think it's Dave!" Mercifully Sabina was still entrenched in the hot seat.

"Okay, if it's not Sabina this time it is Andrew and Dave," Dawn insisted, failing to make friends with the currently accused.

"There might not be a next time," moderator Mike winced.

"They're comin' after you now!" Sabina warned Dawn.

"Doctor...save me!" she replied, evoking shades of a certain BBC sci-fi T.V. show.

Dawn's assumption that Sabina was the next neck on the hangin' parade seemed to generate some sympathy for her. As such, a 3 to 3 vote spared her life!

That self-same night poor Cheryl ended up as fertilizer in the potato patch.  

"Her arm was over there, her legs were over there...it was a mess, you guys didn't want to see it," Mike enthused, sounding like a bespectacled crypt-keeper.

"I'm going back to my original thing," Dawn asserted. "It has to be Andrew! It's Andrew and Dave!"

"It is absolutely Dawn," Andrew replied, pointing a finger at his accuser.

"It's not me!" she shot back.

"I accuse Dawn," Andrew immediately lobbed back.

"I second!" Sabina said, her hand shooting up.

"It's not me! IT'S NOT ME! IT'S NOT ME!" Dawn fought back, stomping her foot in frustration.

But the more she talked, the more she seemed to wriggle into an increasingly-snug invisible noose.

"I'm tellin' you guys...IT'S NOT ME!!! And I'm wishing I'd gone with my original instinct about Andrew 'cause we moved off of him and I still think it's him. He killed Jeremy! Jeremy was the first to die!"

"I did not!" Andrew countered. "He was a good pimp and I'm outta business! Now, I didn't like everything that went on, but..."

"I wanna win this game...it's not me!" Dawn wailed.

But it was too late. The back-lash was quick and decisive.

"You're a little too adamant," Kelsey ventured.

"Okay! I'll go to Joey," Dawn replied, lapsing into a spot-in impersonation of her deadpan brother.

"It's not me."  

After the resulting laughter finally died down, Dawn's fate was sealed with a vote to swing. After casting her "Villager" card on the table in disgust, she plunked down in her chair, muttering one last "It's not me" as a final 'fuck-you' to her blood-thirsty neighbors.

Overnight the still-at-large Werewolves had one last maulin' party, shredding poor Beans the Bartender into l'il giblets. And with that the lycanthropes achieved parity with the humans and won the game!

WINNERS

ME & KELSEY!

I only play Werewolf once a year at Davecon and frankly, that's plenty enough for me. I've been doing this event for years now and the Villagers never seem to come close to winning. As such, I want to introduce a new role every year to try and even the odds a little bit. Maybe after we've added a Seer, a Doctor, a Hunter, a Gypsy, a Silver Bullet Salesman and Kate Beckinsale we can finally achieve some balance in this game.

Having said that, Ultimate Werewolf will always be a Davecon tradition, if only because of the memorable and uproariously-funny moments it continues to provide. That late-game exchange between Andrew and Dawn could very well be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

My quick-game parade kept on a-marchin' with two back-to-back plays of Hey, That's My Fish!  

The game starts with the random construction of an ice floe using cardboard hexes bearing images of one, two and three fish symbols. When the board is finished the youngest player places their first penguin on any tile with one fish. Placement continues clockwise until all penguins are on the board. In a four-player game each player has two penguins, in a three player game there's a matching number and all four are used in a two-player game.

Gameplay begins with the youngest player moving one of their penguins according to the following three rules:

1. Penguins always move in a straight line and can't change direction.
2. Penguins can stop anywhere along a legal path.
3. Penguins can't jump over other penguins or holes in the ice.

So where do these holes come from you might ask? Well, anytime you pick up a penguin to move it, you claim the tile it was sitting on. So the strategy, then, is three-fold:

1. Set your penguins up to capture all of those juicy two and three-fish tiles.
2. Eke out some extra moves for yourself at the end of the game by staking out plenty of free space.
3. Limit your opponent's end game moves with some well-placed holes in the ice.

GAME ONE - FINAL SCORES

 

Me (Red) - 29 Fish

Claudia (Blue) - 26 Fish

Jeremy (Yellow) - 24 Fish

Mike...(Green) - 19 Fish

GAME TWO - FINAL SCORES

 

Me (Red) - 29 Fish

Jeremy (Yellow) - 27 Fish

Mike (Green) - 24 Fish

Claudia...(Blue) - 19 Fish

My strategy for both games was simple: when one of my penguins was on the verge of getting trapped in a corner, I moved them as far away from the competition as possible. Also, if there was heavy competition for the three and two-fish tiles, I just let my opponents fight over it. Often I'd be left alone with a slew of one and two fish fish tiles after my opponents had run themselves out of moves.

This surprisingly deep and charming little game is light enough for kids to grasp and strategic enough to keep adults entertained. As the perfect opener (or closer!) to any game night, you'd do well to add this sucker to your collection.  

Next up, it was time to get cut-throat with a head-rollin' game of Guillotine.

This one has a really interesting genesis. Back in the late 90's, when Magic: the Gathering was at the height of its popularity, Wizards of the Coast published a series of quick n' easy card games that you could bring along to Thanksgiving dinners in order to make hanging out with your repellent family more tolerable.

All the other games in that oddball series (like Alpha Blitz, Pivot, Twitch, Go Wild, Instinct and Earthquake) have long-since vanished into obscurity, but Guillotine is still in print today. So, what made it the ultimate survivor in the 1998 Wizards of the Coast Hunger (Card) Games? Well, maybe it has something to do with its darkly humorous theme. Here's the lowdown on Guillotine from Board Game Geek:

"The French Revolution is famous in part for the use of the guillotine to put nobles to death, and this is the macabre subject of this light card game. As executioners pandering to the masses, the players are trying to behead the least popular nobles. Each day the nobles are lined up and players take turns killing the ones at the front of the line until all the nobles are gone. However, players are given cards which will manipulate the line order right before 'harvesting,' which is what makes the game interesting. After three days worth of chopping, the highest total carries the day."

Right off the bat I used the "Double Feature" card to decapitate a much-despised Lord and a Palace Guard all in one shot. I was hoping to harvest a few more exponential Guards but I quickly became the default recipient for a constant parade of "screw you" cards. Word to the wise: when you're teaching people how to play a game don't jump out to a quick lead and for the love of Sweet Baby Jesus never, ever look like you know what you're doing.

After Claudia started this grass-roots "let's all kick Dave in the knutz" trend she expertly took advantage of everyone's preoccupation by netting a few valuable craniums, like that of the Unpopular Judge. Mike floundered throughout the game and ended up with a disproportionate amount of popular pates. Meanwhile, Jeremy nearly laughed himself into a hernia with the unexpected appearance of the "Piss Boy". He then played "Fountain of Blood" to get himself back in contention.

FINAL SCORES

Claudia...23

Jeremy...22

Me...20

Mike...15

With its whimsically-twisted artwork, coal-black humor and a wealth of creative Action Card plays, Guillotine is a lot of gruesome fun. It's yet another game you can use to convince your non-game friends that there's more to the hobby then just crappy ol' Clue, Payday, Monopoly and Risk. 

Besides, what other game has a freakin' cardboard execution block included in the box?!?

Games continued to be tabled around the room. From 4:20 to 5:33 Dawn scored a whopping 128-points in Small World, humbling both Mike and Matt Iron Sheik-style.

At the same time, Claudia, Jeremy, Mark, Angela and Sabina indulged in two games of Cards Against Humanity. In the first match, Claudia proved to be the most creatively twisted, prompting Joey "Amputee" MacGee to confess that "we are deranged and evil" in the Game Record Log Notes. Mark was deemed the sickest of all the little monkeys in Game Two.  

The final game of the day for me was Uwe Rosenberg's bean-countin' classic, Bohnanza. Here's the skinny on this one from tha' Geek:

"As card games go, this one is quite revolutionary. Perhaps its oddest feature is that you cannot rearrange your hand, as you need to play the cards in the order that you draw them. The cards are colorful depictions of beans in various descriptive poses, and the object is to make coins by planting fields (sets) of these beans and then harvesting them. To help players match their cards up, the game features extensive trading and deal making."

Right from my initial draw I started with some sets, but they were pretty commonplace Beans. Nevertheless, I diligently planted both Blues and Waxies, not knowing that I'd soon be in direct competition with Andrew for the former and Audrey for the latter. I should have gotten out of this low-rent market right away but instead I just kept on plantin'. Sure, I ended up with a few decent runs but they were virtually worthless.

In contrast, Cheryl made plenty of shrewd trades for valuable Beans (like Reds) whilst sweet-talking the rest of us into giving her what she wanted. Andrew managed to parley some mid-value Beans like Chillis and Stinks into a respectable amount of points while Audrey outpaced me in Wax collection. She also made more prudent planting decisions, opting for scarcer crops such as Black-Eyed Beans.

FINAL SCORES

Cheryl...20 Gold

Andrew...15 Gold

Audrey...14 Gold

Me...11 Gold

    
If my enjoyment of tabletop games hinged on winning, I'd never play 'em. Nothing sums up this philosophy more then my deplorable win/loss (or more accurately, my loss/loss) record in Bohnanza. Even though I'm completely dialed into the frequency of the different cards, the importance of constant negotiation, the threat of mandatory planting and a stringent hand order, this rarely translates to in-game success for me.

But maybe that's why I like it so much. It certainly doesn't hurt that the game features plenty of logistical planning when it's not your turn, agile thinking when it is your turn and constant table-talk throughout. It's one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend it to anyone who's reading this, especially if you dig card games.
This took us right up to 5:30pm: I.E. draw time for the prizes! Here's how that shook down:

GRAND DOOR PRIZE WINNER

($50.00 Gift Certificate to Monster Comic Lounge)

*** ANDREW ***

M.V.P. WINNER

($20.00 Gift Certificate to Monster Comic Lounge)

*** JEREMY ***

FIRST DOOR PRIZE RUNNER-UP DRAW

(for a Batmug, courtesy of Sabina)

*** SHAWN ***

SECOND DOOR PRIZE RUNNER UP DRAW

(for a Zombie Dashboard Bobble-Head, courtesy of Sabina)

*** DAWN ***

As the attendees made their final purchases and then slowly filtered out of the store, I noticed that my irritation over the event's trying logistics had long-since melted away. Above and beyond making amends for last year's poor showing by playing no less then fourteen different games in seven hours, I'd managed to assemble some of the coolest, nicest, funniest people on the planet who'd given me yet another wonderful cache of indelible gaming memories that I'll cherish for the rest of my life. And that's why I love this hobby so much.

I have no idea where Davecon 2015 will be. I don't know who'll be there. Hell, I don't even know if I'll be there. But I do know one thing for certain: 

It's gonna happen.  

Davecon 2013

Given the rousing success of last year's Davecon I began to field questions about this year's event as soon as the holidays were dispensed with.  As such, I created the official Davecon Facebook Event Page on February 28'th.

On March 1'st I set about securing the same venue we had last year: the "Danger room" at Quantum Frontier.  Here's my initial inquiry sent through the website's official "Danger Room Booking Event" email address:

Hi!

This time last year I held a private board gaming event in the Danger Room at Quantum Frontier.
It turned out to be a huge success so I'm looking at doing it again, perhaps sometime this month.

Is the room free on March 16'th?  If not, is there a Saturday in April that I can lock down?

Thanks!    

-Dave


And then I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Thinking that I'd have better luck in person I popped into the store on the 9'th of March.

"Oh yeah, that email address," a staff member said without a hint of irony.  "That's not necessarily the best way to get things done. (?!?) Your best bet is to speak directly to Patrick, the manager.  He's not in right now but he'll be back on Monday if you wanna give him a call."

Feeling vaguely befuddled, I made a point of calling the store bright and early on the 11'th.  To my complete and total lack of surprise, he wasn't there so I ended up leaving a message.

"Okay, yeah, great.  Patrick should be in sometime today so I'll make sure he gets your message," I was assured.

And then I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

By now, options in March were starting to dry up and soon I'd be forced to push things off to April. As such, I had to call the store a second time on Wednesday the 13'th and leave a second message.

"Okay, right!  Sorry for the delay.  I'll pass this message on and make sure he gives you a call right away!"

And then I waited.  And waited.  And fucking waited.

I still hadn't gotten a call back by Friday the 15'th.  In a huff, I removed Quantum Frontier as the event's location on Facebook and then pounded out the following terse message:

"Welp, if Davecon is happening at all this year, it definitely won't be at Quantum Frontier.  How that place stays in business is beyond me." 

For several days I seriously considered turfing the whole thing.  After all, I'd created Davecon to fill in for the long-deceased Fleetcon and make up for the complete and utter dearth of local tabletop gaming events.  But since the very first Davecon back in 2007, days such as Hal-Con and Boardgasm had since been established as viable options throughout the year.  Honestly, what was the point?

I was soon reminded of the real reason why I do it: the massive outcry from the small-yet-vocal horde of rabid Davecon fans.  They really wanted me to make this happen.  So, after a series of heartfelt pleas I decided to keep searching for a home.

I turned my attention to Monster Comic Lounge on Gottingen Street in Halifax.  Truth be told, MCL was my first choice last year but store owner Mike Crossman hadn't yet extricated all of the back stock out of the game room.  Over the course of the last few months I knew that things had been squared away since the sound of jubilant gamers could often be heard coming from the bowels of that mysterious nook when I was in the store every other weekend.

So on Saturday the 16'th I popped into MCL to see if the place was a viable option.  Despite the fact that he was besieged by customers, Mike took the time to show us the room.  It wasn't quite as fancy as Quantum Frontier's Danger Room but there were plenty of tables and chairs, which was all we really needed.

Unfortunately Mike wasn't 100% sure when the room was free in April so he gave me his email address and asked me to shoot him a note.  I dutifully composed the following inquiry three days later:

Hey, Mike.

I was in the store this past weekend inquiring about using your spare room for my annual private gaming event.  Here's the plan:

It would be one Saturday in the month of April from open 'til close.  I plan to charge an entrance fee, purchase a gift certificate from the store and then give this away as a door prize.  

I also do an "M.V.P." draw for the person who plays the most board games during the day.  If you wanted to donate some cheesy throwaway thing for an M.V.P. prize, that would be cool.  If not, I can provide something.  

Currently we have seven people confirmed regardless of date.  I suspect it'll be about twelve or so in the end.  The only day in April that my regulars say is "right out" would be April 20'th.

Let me know which day works best for you and I'll make an official announcement on the event's Bookface page.

Thanks in advance.

-Dave 

And then I waited.  And waited.  With people pressing me from all sides to lock down a date, I sent this follow-up note on the 22'nd:

Hey, Mike.

If you get a free moment today, can you let me know if this works for you and what day would be best?  I've got people nagging me to make babysitter plans...

Thanks!

And then it came, the glorious response we'd all been waiting for:

Hi Dave,

The best day for us would be the 13th of April. There is nothing booked that day now and if you want it you can have it. Every other Saturday would involve some sharing of space.

If that day works for you I will make it official.

Mike

And with that, Davecon 2013 was finally a reality!

An excited flurry of emails went back and forth, speculating as to what games would be featured at the event.  Titles such as Ca$h n' Gun$, Ticket to Ride: Märklin, Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game, Alhambra, The Classic Dungeon!, Tsuro, X-Wing, Pandemic, Gloom, and Shadow Hunters were all bandied about.  Above all, I made sure that ye olde Davecon tradition, Ultimate Werewolf, would get rolled out sometime during the day!

I also spent a considerable amount of time agonizing over what to charge for an entrance fee and what contests to run.  In a spate of good news, Monster Comic Lounge didn't charge us for the room and they also gave all Davecon attendees a 10% discount an their purchases for the day!  Without a $100.00 room rental fee hanging over our heads I could charge a considerably lower Registration Fee and put all of it towards a couple of pretty descent little gift certificates!

In the end, I decided to charge $5.00 per person and issue three tickets to each participant: one given out on arrival, one issued to anyone who stayed until the end of the day and one for the Davecon M.V.P.  Based on a suggestion by Andrew, I really dig this last concept.  Basically, this would allow everyone an opportunity to vote on the event's Mose Valuable Player: the best sport, the participant who ran the most games, the person who was the most fun to play with or the attendee who best embodied "Wheaton's Rule".

I also had plenty of time to fret over the weather.  Like in many other parts of North america, evidence of Spring in Nova Scotia had been nearly non-existent up to that point.  In the days leading up to April 13'th, the weather forecast was predicting no less then twenty centimeters of snow on game day.  Yikes!

Since we'd have enough problems getting back and forth to the venue if the road conditions were crap, I even put the kibbosh on our traditional brunch plans.  Mercifully, the Weather Gods turned the snow to rain, making for perfect Davecon weather.  Indeed I can't think of a better was to spend a rainy, crappy day then ensconced in a comic book shop playing board games!  

Despite running a bit behind schedule, I managed to pick up perennial attendee Sabina, beat it down to Monster Comic Lounge and secure a convenient parking space before everything opened up at 10 am.  Just as soon as the staff unlocked the front doors, the three of us went inside and started to set things up.  After chatting with the patient and vaguely bemused employees, I posted the awesome event sign that Cheryl had designed (see above), set up a makeshift registration table and then waited for everyone to arrive.

And arrive they did.  In droves.  By the end of it, we had fourteen attendees in total: me, Andrew B., Andrew S., Angela, Chad, Claudia, Cheryl, Dawn, Dean, Mark, Matt, Sabina and two newcomers: Chad's son Mac and Dawn's brother Joey.  Unfortunately, Davecon regular and Ultimate Werewolf grand champeen Audrey had to bow out after her babysitting plans fell through.  Booooo!!!

Before I could jump into a game, I had some housekeeping to attend to.  Like a whirling dervish, I raced all around the exterior and interior of the store, taking some establishing video footage of our new environs and drawing quizzical looks from both staff and customers alike.  Then, after collecting entrance money from everyone I set about procuring some contest prizes.  By the end of it, I'd picked up two in-store gift certificates: one for $50.00 and one for $20.00.  Suitably epic prizes for such an epic day!

By the time I got back several games were already in full swing.  Cheryl, Sabina, Dawn, Joey and Mark had wasted no time breaking out the Vintage edition of the classic die-chucker Yahtzee.  

This epic contest resulted in one of the most unlikely finales imaginable as both Sabina and Mark tied for the win!  WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!?!   WHY AM I SHOUTING!?!?!

Next up the same crew participated in two games of Zombie Dice.  In the first match, newcomer Joey walked away with a decisive victory.  Then it was Dawn's turn to become "zombie extraordinaire" when she was declared winner and champion of game two!    

Meanwhile, Dean led a gaggle of pseudo-scientists in a co-operative game of Pandemic.  He mixed in just enough of the On the Brink expansion to accommodate five players and then let them pick from a variety of eight new role cards.

With Pandemic I've personally found that the more players you have, the harder it is to co-ordinate everyone for the win.  This might have been offset in this particular game by the awesome new roles, like the "Generalist", the "Containment Specialist" and the new-and-improved "Operations Expert".  A lot of them seem downright dynamite.

Whatever the reason, lead egghead Dean managed to guide Andrew B., Angela, Claudia and Matt to a rare victory against the germs!

Simultaneously, Andrew certainly didn't have to use a Batarang to rope three more players into a session of the new Batman: Gotham City Strategy Game.  With its thematic gameplay, villainous P.O.V.'s, awesome Heroclix figures and old-school aesthetics, I really wanted to play this one myself.  Unfortunately I was still dealing with some Davecon logistics, so I didn't get a chance to sit in.

After cracking the box open 'round 10:47 am, everyone selected their villainous roles.  Andrew opted for Killer Croc, Mac became the Joker, Chad assumed the mantle of the Penguin and Mike played Two-Face to the hilt.  After everything was set up, they began the daunting process of digesting the rules.

Since this was Andrew's first time running the game, it took a good hour or so to really get into the swing of things.  During this time, the four participants had a fun time running riot all over Gotham City, committing crimes, hiring henchmen and dodging the deadly fists of the Caped Crusader.

But as the clock started closing in on 1 pm, the four super-villains had to make a painful decision to declare an early winner.  When it came down to the final moments, Andrew was declared the most dastardly member of Batman's Rogues Gallery.    

After all of my obligations were dispensed with I finally got a chance to set up a 91-point X-Wing match using the following ships, personnel, upgrades and skills:

IMPERIALS - "VADER'S HUNTING PACK"

T.I.E. Advanced piloted by Darth Vader

Upgrades: Concussion Missiles

Skills: Squad Leader

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by Mauler Mithel

Skills: Marksmanship

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by "Howlrunner"

Skills: Swarm Tactics

T.I.E. Fighter piloted by a Black Squadron Pilot

Skills: Expert Handling

REBELS - "LUKE'S SCOUTS"

X-Wing piloted by Luke Skywalker

Upgrades: R2-D2 and Proton Torpedoes

X-Wing piloted by a Rookie Pilot

Upgrades: Astromech

Y-Wing piloted by "Dutch" Vander

Upgrades: R5 Astromech, Proton Torpedoes and an Ion Cannon Turret

***

Between the detailed minis and my new, custom-made star field (consisting of a swath of black fabric flicked with white, gold, silver and yellow paint) Mark was quickly lured in by the spectacle.  He chose to command the Dark Side while I took control of Luke and company.  Given the epic length of the table, I placed all seven ships at the far end of the Range Ruler away from the edge.

This allowed Mark and I to close to within firing distance within a few turns.  In our first pass, Mark used combined fire to annihilate Luke's shields.  The aspiring Jedi soon returned the favor, causing two points of hull damage against a rival T.I.E.

"Dutch" Vander was having even better luck with his Ion Turret, inflicting two points of damage and sending another enemy ship spiraling out of control.  But then, just as I prepared to follow up on this advantage, I realized to my horror that I'd overestimated the maneuverability of the Y-Wing.  There was no way I could bring her hard about without flying off the table!

Now, although some people might accuse "Dutch" of fleeing from the battlefield, I like to think that Luke ordered him to return to the Rebel Fleet to fetch some badly-needed re-enforcements!

Unfortunately I was running into the same issue that Andrew was having.  It was already after 1 pm and we still hadn't run our traditional match of Ultimate Werewolf.  With heavy hearts, Mark and I had to cut our match short.

At least I managed to end the game on a positive note.  After R2-D2 reconstituted the shields, Luke pulled off a Koiogran Turn, performed a Target Lock, launched a volley of Proton Torpedoes and destroyed one of the enemy vessels.  Man, I wish we could have finished this game!

Based on my previous match with Mike, I knew perfectly well how long it takes to play X-Wing, but I chose to bring it along anyway.  Don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic game with tremendous curb appeal, but it's not a good pick for Davecon.  I brought five games with me that day and I only got a chance to play two of them, including this one.  Ultimately I brought X-Wing along for purely superficial reasons: to show off the ships and my pretty, customized star-field.  Hopefully I'll learn my lesson for next year.

In the same time it took to get through partial sessions of X-Wing and Batman the other tables were flying through a spate of quicker games.  Andrew S. set up another Davecon favorite, Tumblin' Dice, which soon drew a horde of willing participants.

In the first roll-off, Matt triumphed with a total score of 68, Sabina got 63, Cheryl and Dawn tied with 48, Joey had 47 and Andrew B. trailed with 42.  Andrew had his vengeance in Game Two, netting a total of 72 points, easily outdistancing Dawn with 63, Cheryl at 61, Sabina's 60, and Joey's score of 40.

Meanwhile, Zombie Dice reared its putrefying head at another table.  In the resulting brain-feast between Dean, Angela and Claudia, Angela horked down the most gray matter!  This segued naturally into a side-by-side comparison with Martian Dice.  In that throw down, Claudia got the duke over Andrew B., Angela, Dean and Dawn.

When these games were finished, Andrew and I voluntarily ended our own sessions so we could kick off the traditional run of Ultimate Werewolf.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Andrew B. as Ham Johnson the Town Butcher

Andrew S. as "Handsome" Angus the Vampire Hunter

Angela as Shaneequa the Traveling Bard

Chad as Anvil, the Town's Blacksmith

Cheryl as Moi the Candlestick Maker

Claudia as Claudia the Alewife

Me as Mee the Taxpayer

Dawn as Jill the Washer Woman

Dean as our Awesome Game-Runner
Joey as Mildred the Town Librarian

Mac as Abs the Total Gym Salesman

Mark as Jim the Fisherman

Mike as Mike the Minstrel

Sabina as Shabinaqua the Other Traveling Bard 

Panic gripped the town as rumors of werewolves in the village became rampant.  Anvil was quick to point the finger at the local nosferatu exterminator.

"I, the town's blacksmith, was keeping a stony watch on the village when wandered in...ONE VAMPIRE HUNTER!" he proclaimed.  "I ask my fellow villagers: who hunts the vampire if not for the werewolf?"

Despite outing himself as a possible Twilight fan, Anvil nominated Angus, which was quickly seconded by Abs.  Immediately the Hunter launched into a fiery defense.

"I am not a werewolf!" he declared.  "Normally I hunt vampires but I'm all out of vampires right now... 'cuz I'm so good!  Sure, I've had to do some man-whoring on the side recently to make some capitol, but I'm not a werewolf!"

Apparently such confessionals are good for the soul and Angus was acquitted.  In a declaration that now seems a lot more suspect, Ham Sammich was quick to protest the result.

"I thought we were voting on whether or not to save him not to kill him!" the Butcher lamented.  "That's why I voted thumb's down!"

Regardless of the confusion, the unemployed vampire hunter got his reprieve.

Later that night, the three werewolves searched through stack of books to "check out" the Town Librarian.  In a horrible twist of bad fortune, Mildred also turned out to be the precious Seer.  Already the villagers were behind the proverbial eight-ball!  

With the town's paranoia growing by leaps and bounds, suspicions immediately fell upon the first person to level an accusation.

"Anvil was quick to accuse people!" Angus charged, his nomination quickly validated by the terminally-enraged, steroid-casualty Abs.

"In my defense, even though I was quick to accuse, I did vote for life!" Anvil calmly returned.  "Would a werewolf vote for life?  I don't think so."

Since this recollection was "kind of hazy" Angus asked Mee to "roll back the tape".  But because this was a medieval setting and I had no idea what sorcery the hunter was raving about, I couldn't comply.  I did corroborate Anvil's claim that he voted for mercy last time out, however.

The rest of the village saw it that way too, and with seven votes of confidence, the Blacksmith was spared!  But that didn't mean that the inquisition was over for that round.  Jim the Fisherman quickly called out Shabinaqua the Other Traveling Bard and Abs instantly backed him up!

Unfortunately Shabinaqua's own defense was piss-poor at best:

"I'm not the Werewolf, I swear!  You can trust me, I can read people like a book!"

After this lame rebuttal inspired a series of groans, cat-calls and eye-rolls, it fell upon her partner Shaneequa to come to her defense:

"I make money with this chick, don't kill off my meal ticket!" she wailed.

"No way!" Ham Salad shouted.  "Look at her, she's got Seer in her teeth!"

Despite the robust dialogue, Shabinaqua only got three votes for the defense and she was soon a-swingin' from the rafters!  Fortunately this turned out to be a focused bit of bloodlust, since she was immediately outed as one of the three Werewolves!

Later that same night, the two remaining lycanthropes avenged their neck-stretched comrade by double-teaming Claudia the Alewife (and not in a good way)!

The next morning Jill the Washer Woman immediately went on the offensive, declaring: "I still think we made a mistake not killing the Vampire Hunter!"  Before the light of inquisition could fall upon him, Angus quickly deflected the attention towards Abs.

"He 'seconds' everything so quickly!  It's all that Werewolf blood, he can't control it!"

Swayed by that undeniable logic, I quickly 'seconded' that motion, realizing all-too-late that this probably looked kinda bad for me.

Abs conducted an admittedly-spirited defense, which was one part Chuck Norris and one part Ultimate Warrior.

"Listen to Abs!  I built you guys Total Gyms so you can get fit and ripped like me!  Now, could you guys defend yourselves against the Werewolves if you weren't ripped as you are now?!?!"  

Despite being better on the mic then Dwayne Johnson, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage combined, Abs couldn't avoid the gallows.  Unfortunately it was soon revealed that the mob had just executed a perfectly innocent villager!

That night, lured by the smell of low tide, the Werewolves crept into the village and ate the fish monger with a side of tartar sauce.  The following morning the villagers found Jim the Fisherman ripped into sushi-sized morsels!

By now, fear was sweeping through the village like a plague.  Armed with absolutely no credible evidence, Angus randomly nominated Mee.  Immediately I tried to un-nominated Mee, er, me, but for some reason that didn't work.  With the accusation now fully validated by his incongruous new ally Anvil, I was forced to do some quick talking.  Unfortunately my initial defense was even lamer then Shabinaqua's.

"It's not Mee, I promise!  When you nominate Mee, you nominate yourself!  Literally!  It's not me or Mee!  I swears!  Toadly."

Perhaps due to my last-second plea of taxpayer solidarity, I managed to escape the noose in a super-close 4 to 3 vote.

After this narrow brush with death, I felt compelled to go on the offensive.

"We just basically have to ask ourselves: has anyone been doing anything particularly suspicious?"  Not withstanding Mike the Minstrel's incessant babbling, Jill the Washer Woman begins to cast aspersions once again upon "Handsome" Angus the Supposed Vampire Hunter.  Quickly his nomination got "seconded", then um..."thirded".      

"I am here to keep the village safe!" he declared in no uncertain terms.  "I...(removes shades)...Handsome Angus am a Werewolf... NOT!   If you vote for me you will regret it.  I'm the muscle now that Abs is gone. Here, I'll prove it, let me show you the ab..."

This forced moderator Dean to break character, offering to pay Angus some serious real-world coin in order to avoid seeing the "ab".  In fact, so rattled was he by this threat that he missed my vote and nearly acquitted the Vampire Hunter on a tie by mistake.  After a quick recount, the decision was reversed and Angus was convicted on a margin of four votes to six!

"Eat it!" Andrew declared, proudly rubbing our collective noses in his "Villager" card.

During the night, the fortified Werewolves stormed back, grabbed Moi the Candlestick Maker and gnawed her down to the (q)wick.  

"I think we lost our chance at Mee!" Jill the Washer Woman accused in a now-familiar refrain.  Initially the spotlight fell upon Ham Bone the Town Butcher, but then Mr. "I Can Read People Like A Book" (I.E. Anvil the Blacksmith) had to go and open his stupid pie-hole.  After declaring in no uncertain terms that Ham and Mike are "good villagers" and that "Mee seems to be he most suspicious" I knew that it was the beginning of the end for this cowboy.    

In an act purely driven by self-preservation, I officially nominated Anvil, but no-one seconded my motion. Taking advantage of the confusion, Ham Platter pointed an official finger in my direction and instantly Anvil and Jill piled on.  Despite being so confident of my innocence that I eschewed the Chewie Defense, I lost the vote 3 to 2.

"Hold on, I'm gotta find my damned 'Villager' card," I muttered, rummaging around the room.

That night, the duo of Werewolves went all Dragonforce on Mike the Minstrel.  With that,  the lycanthropes achieved parity!  Immediately both Andrew B. and Angela revealed their lupine natures and reveled in their sweet n' hairy mutual victory.

And with that, the attendees split up once again to pursue a host of gamey new pursuits.  First off Dean took Mac, Claudia and Chad through a session of Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game.  

At first, the odd mash-up of selected heroes (Storm, Wolverine, Iron Man and Thor) didn't gel very well together against Doctor Doom, but mid-way through the game, the players found their footing and started to get a leg-up.

Funny enough, even though Dean was the owner of the game, only Chad had played it before.  Admittedly Dean made a few minor rule-goofs, resulting in a partial asterisk, but the heroes proved victorious with Claudia emerging as the individual winner.

Zombie Dice then shambled across the room to the other table.  In two quick contests, Joey proved triumphant against both Cheryl and Sabina.  Sometime you just gotta love a game that you can play in ten minutes!        

Especially when it give you the time to play two rounds of the visual telephone game Telestrations. 

Although the game has a nominal scoring system, it tends to suck most of the visceral joy out of the proceedings.  As such, Dawn, Chad, Sabina, Cheryl and Joey decided to ignore it and just get their sketch-on.    

They drew their little hearts out in game one, producing an incredible chain of drawings that carried everyone's original clues right to the very end.  After two more players (Mac and Sabina) were added to the mix in game two, the keywords didn't transfer quite so accurately.  Regardless, there were plenty of laughs and a great time was had by all.  And, hey, isn't that the whole raison d'être for this wacky event?

After this, Angela, Dawn, Sabina, Andrew B, Joey, Mike, Cheryl and Mark risked getting all of us banned from the store for life via a boisterous game of Cards Against Humanity.

Given the fact that there were eight players, it took over an hour to determine the winner with the momentum swinging back and forth.  Ultimately it was Cheryl who proved triumphant, winning the game and securing primo boxed seats in H, E...double hockey sticks in the process.

Things got more PC but no less cutthroat after Martian Dice was rolled out again.  After some frantic luck-pressin', Cheryl won with a whopping 30 points, Joey had 25, Dawn had 23, Mark had 19 and Sabina had 11.  

After Andrew heard that I'd brought along Nexus Ops he insisted that we play it.  So, after tempting Matt and Mike with a "It's kinda like Risk but good" sales pitch we were off to the races.

Right away Andrew exibited his characteristic gonzo luck by annexing a slew of incredibly valuable mines. Mike struck a balance between unearthing new units and coming across some moderately-valued resources.  Matt was similarly blessed.  In fact, the only shlub to get stuck with only one new mine was me.  To make matters worse, I didn't staff it properly on two separate occasions and had to settle for my crappy base income.

As I slowly revealed the planet's varied environs I did come across a slew of new recruits.  By the time my forces made it to the mid-board lava wasteland, I had a disproportionally large army.  Unfortunately, my economy was also a house of cards.

Even though Andrew was clearly establishing himself as the runaway leader, I had to attack Mike in the Liquifungus Forest in order to score some badly-needed Victory Points.  Naturally I failed to win a decisive victory, so this battle dragged on for a few turns longer then expected.  Eventually I pulled out the win, but it really hurt my drive to the Monolith. 

Given Andrew's rampant expansionism, both Matt and Mike were forced to engage him in a few minor dust- ups. Initially Matt's attacks were repulsed but Mike made some promising headway.  Unfortunately Andrew's ludicrously-rich economy ensured that he could pump out reinforcements quicker then anyone else. As a result, he became the first player to produce Rubium Dragons.  Not long after he took possession of the precious Monolith.

By capturing this pivotal mid-board location, Andrew began receiving two precious Energize Cards per turn. Knowing that Andrew was closing in on victory, all three of us entered into a silent pact to chip away at his lead.  Pretty soon he was fighting on three separate fronts.

I moved my own Rubium Dragon adjacent to the Monolith by failed to light up Andrew's forces stationed there was plasma.  Andrew also had spotty luck with this tactic on the main board, roasting only one of Mike's units after several attempts.  With time running out I was forced to attack the Monolith the old-fashioned way.

Using a "Gravity Anomaly", I reversed the combat order, allowing my grunts to strike before Andrew's Double Dragons.  Unfortunately the luck I needed to execute this strategy didn't materialize and I only scored one hit on a late roll.  Andrew struck back with a vengeance, playing "Frenzy" to give each one of his units two attacks apiece!  Needless to say, the resulting slaughter was as quick as it was complete. 

Even allied together, Mike, Matt and I couldn't stop Andrew's juggernaut-like momentum.  Within another turn or two, Andrew played his last Victory Point card, taking him to 10 points for the short-game win.  After taking a look at the clock, we realized that this one game of Nexus Ops took us right up to the end of Davecon regulation time.

During this interval, the other participants certainly hadn't been idle.  Mac, Dean, Claudia and Chad threw down in a chaotic game of Star Flux which saw Chad emerge triumphant.

Then Mac, Chad, Mark and Dawn played two games of Tsuro.  In the first match, Mac made a wily tile placement and drove his pops, Chad, off the board.  Mark's dragon as the last one left in the air during that first game.  Family ties also didn't amount to much in game two, as Dawn eliminated hubby Mark for the win!

Dean, Mark, Dawn, Chad and Mac also had another close encounter with Martian Dice.  In this heated battle, Chad proved victorious with a whopping twenty-nine points!   Although it takes a longer time to play, most participants seemed to agree that Martian Dice out-distances its undead sibling.

Angela then led Andrew B, Cheryl, Joey, Claudia and Sabina through a nice, peaceful bout of murder and mayhem via Gloom.

During these purloined tales of strife, insanity, abandonment, and incongruous bliss, Pathos Points were won and lost, creative yarns were spun, and more then one miserable soul met an Untimely Death.  Sabina ended up with the most miserable clan in death and slipped away with the win!

Knowing that the store was closing at five pm I decided to wind things down around four-thirty in order to distribute the end-of-day tickets, draw for the door prizes and give people enough time to do any last-minute shopping.  During all of this, the Monster Comic Lounge staff was nothing short of awesome.  They even  told us not to rush, offering to stick around later in order to facilitate our wrap-up.  I guess this probably isn't such a big deal when you actually like where you work!

After passing out the "Hey-You-Survived-To-The-End" ballots, I encouraged folks to deposit their tickets in our unconventional "Door Prize" receptacle:

Then I made sure everyone had a chance to fill out their "M.V.P." vote and deposit it in the skull of our favorite resident Dark Lord of the Sith:

Moments later our official winners were declared:

DOOR PRIZE WINNER 

($50.00 Gift Certificate from Monster Comic Lounge)

CHAD!!!

M.V.P. Winner 

($20.00 Gift Certificate from Monster Comic Lounge)

ANGELA!!!

The great thing about our guests is that they never cease to amaze me.  Sabina actual took it upon herself to provide a third prize, which turned out to be a bad-ass inflatable shark kite.  This allowed me to give out a runner-up door prize!  

RUNNER-UP DOOR PRIZE WINNER 

(for a Bad-Ass Inflatable Shark Kite)

ANGELA!!!

After taking great pains to leave the room in better shape then we'd found it, the Davecon attendees loitered around the store for a bit, recollecting the day's stories, chatting with the staff and making last-minute purchases.  Through it all, we got the distinct impression that Davecon had finally found a permanent home!  During this time, I expressed heartfelt thanks to the staff for putting up with our over-caffeinated / sugar-fueled shenanigans.   

"Oh, no problem," one of the employees replied.  "It sounds like you guys had a really great time.  How often do you run this event?" 

"Oh, once a year," I replied.

"Hmmm, only once a year?  Could you be persuaded to do it bi-annually?" he pursued with a wry smile.

"Oh, I dunno," I sighed, betraying my exhaustion.  "I think my constitution can only take one of these a year, but hey, if someone else wants to do one..."

I turned and looked at my friends expectantly.  A part of me still hopes that, one day, everyone will run their own annual eponymous con, so that all I need to do is master a few rulebooks, buy some snacks and beer and then show up to play.

Which leads me to my sole regret for the day: the fact that I only got a chance to play three games.  That's downright shameful.  Next year I need to avoid the kind of games we play during our epic, mid-week session and stick to shorter, quicker titles.   

Speaking of regrets, I also thought about all the money Quantum Frontier missed out on by not calling me back.  First off, we would have given them $100.00 for renting the "Danger Room".  To pay for this overhead, I probably would have charged an entry fee of $10.00 per person instead of $5.00.  Although this would have resulted in a much smaller gift certificate (probably $40.00 instead of $70.00), it still would have gone right back into the store's coffers. 

Then there was all the stuff we bought that day:

After a rough estimate I've determined that our group spent around $300.00 at Monster Comic Lounge that day.  So, all told, Quantum could have made around $450.00 if they'd only exhibited the common courtesy of calling me back.  

Which left me wondering: if Quantum Frontier can survive as a business, what would happen if I opened up my very own game store and actually applied the tenants of good customer service?

Hmmmmmmm...