"Can I Haz Baby Yoda Xpanshun?" - Star Wars - Outer Rim

Although The Force Awakens was practically engineered to rekindle fan interest in Star Wars, it was actually the triple punch of  Clone Wars, Rebels and The Mandalorian that pulled me back in. By the time I finished watching the latter, I really wanted to play a sandboxian adventure game set in the  fringe-ier bits of that wonderful galaxy far, far away.

Welp, leave it to Fantasy Flight to do their Kylo Ren-esque mind probe on me and crank out dis sucka...

Here's FF's HoloNet sales pitch for Outer Rim from Board Game Geek:

"Take to the stars and become a living legend in Star Wars: Outer Rim, a game of bounty hunters, mercenaries, and smugglers for 1-4 players!

"In Outer Rim, you take on the role of an underworld denizen, setting out to make your mark on the galaxy. You'll travel the outer rim in your personal ship, hire legendary Star Wars characters to join your crew, and try to become the most famous (or infamous) outlaw in the galaxy!

"But it won't be easy since the warring factions of the galaxy roam the outer rim, hunting down the scum that have proven to be a thorn in their side, and other scoundrels looking to make their mark see you as the perfect target to bring down to bolster their own reputation. Do you have what it takes to survive in the outer rim and become a living legend?

"In more detail, a game of Outer Rim takes place over a series of turns that sees players taking dangerous jobs, tracking down bounties, upgrading their ship, and more, all in service of gaining more and more fame. Regardless of the path you take to get there, your goal is to gain ten fame, which can come from a variety of sources, such as completing your character's personal goal, collecting on bounties and jobs, delivering illegal cargo, taking down patrols from the various factions struggling over the galaxy, and enjoying the finer things in life by purchasing luxury items with your hard-earned credits.

"While the path to victory may be different for scoundrels finding their way in the Outer Rim, everyone starts from the bottom with a simple starship. Your player board not only tracks your fame progress, but also contains slots for your ship, your character card, gear, reputation, modifications, jobs, and bounties." 

If you wanna know more, feel free to dive into the Jedi holocron of knowledge that it the game's full ruleset right here.

SESSION PLAY-THROUGH (8-FAME MATCH)

Han starts things off. He's currently flying a relatively crappy G9 Rigger, which has a base speed of 6, augmented with a +2 thanks to the cocky smuggler's special ability. Laden down with cargo, Han races across the galaxy, travelling eight spaces from Lothal to Tatooine. Still stuck in deep space, Han decides to sensor scan the region. Unfortunately, this alerts a Hutt patrol to his presence! In the ensuing skirmish, Han rolls 2 Focus results versus a Crit by the Hutts! This results in a "defeat" right out of the gate, so Han loses 3000 credits, discards the Secret concealed under his character card and ends his turn! Yikes! The Outer Rim is a tough place, yo!

As for Bossk, he started the game with a bounty for Dr. Evazan's gnarled head. He starts the search effort by guiding his G-1A Starfighter to the Ring of Kafrene. Before looking for the (not) good Doctor in earnest, the Trandoshan hits up the local markets, discarding a Jet Pack on the top of the Gear Deck and revealing an Armored Vest, which he buys for 3000 credits. This moves the Imperial Fleet patrol three spaces, which ends up in the same system. Mercifully, Bossk doesn’t have a negative reputation with the Imperials...yet! During the Encounter Step, the bounty hunter attempts to Encounter the white token in the same space, but it turns out to be Garindan. Since Bossk has neither a negative Imperial reputation or a positive Rebel reputation, the Strength Test is ignored. Thinking that the snout-nosed Kubaz spy might be helpful in tracking down Evazan, Bossk hires him for 2000 credits.

Having barely survived his encounter with the Hutt gank squad, Han uses his Planning Step to repair the damage to his ship. Since he didn’t move, he once again dares to scan the sector of space he's in. He discovers the Rebel Patrol that drove the Hutts away and saved his ass. With one of the Rebel ships damaged in the fracas, Solo offers to use his Tech knowledge to help them. He rolls two Hits, repairs the problem and gains a positive reputation among the Rebels!

Meanwhile, Bossk continues to scour the galaxy looking for Garindan, using his Planning Step to fly to Naboo. Now that he's completely out of money, the Trandoshan decides to take on another bounty. Plot twist: that new bounty turns out to be Garindan! At the same time, the Imperial Patrol continues to shadow him, but since they still don't have any dirt on the bounty hunter, they leave him be. Naturally, Bossk immediately turn on Garindan but he rolls zero Hits. The spy, on the other hand, rolls a Crit, wins the firefight and Bossk takes 2 points of damage. By the time Bossk "comes to" his quarry has fled the scene and is already on a charter ship back to the Ring of Kafrene. Undaunted, Bossk encounters a Contact Token on Naboo, which turns out to be a Black Sun Agent. The bounty hunter rolls a Crit on his subsequent Influence Test, adding the Agent to his crew!

Han's ship finally limps into Mos Eisley spaceport on Tatooine. He delivers the long-delayed Moisture Vaporators, gaining 5000 credits in the process. Impressed by the windfall, he decides to take on another Cargo Job, this time for a Food Supply job cargo which pays 1000 credits. At the same time, however, the Hutts manage to track Han back to Tatooine! In the subsequent Encounter, Han rolls one Crit and one regular Hit while the Hutts only roll one. This is enough to defeat the Hutt death squad, so he gains 5000 credits for eliminating his rivals! Unfortunately, this raises the ire of the Hutts and they send out an even deadlier patrol to seek revenge!

Bossk wisely decides to abandon his pursuit of Garindan, choosing instead to take on some odd jobs for 2000 credits. He also picks up a Job Card called "Rescue from the Mines". In doing so, the Syndicate Patrol token moves three spaces towards the bounty hinter. Bossk then decides to take advantage of his neutral Imperial reputation and explore Naboo. After stumbling upon a suspicious late night gathering in an alley near Theed Palace, he attempts to Test Knowledge. Unfortunately, all of his rolls are Focus results, so the Skill Test fails but he keeps the card for the matching Secret.

Hoping to bury the ol' vibroaxe with a Hutts before things get completely out of hand, Han jets off to Nal Hutta, which is just two parsecs away. There he delivers the Food Supplies, collecting 5000 credits and gaining one positive Reputation with his former enemies, so that now he's on neutral ground with them. The savvy smuggler then takes a Market Action, opting for another Cargo Job. He then invests 2000 credits in some Smuggling Compartments, which he immediately installs. Now that the heat is off of him, Han explores Nal Hutta, eventually encountering a group of bounty hunters looking for Secrets or Bounties. Since Solo has neither, the encounter is turfed without effect.

Bossk departs Naboo, making the long journey towards Kessel. En route he decides to encounter his current nav point. With no patrol in the same space and a neutral Syndicate reputation, Bossk is privy to a distress call from a ship trapped inside of a giant space slug! He rolls a Tech test, getting one Focus and one Hit. Unfortunately, since he’s unskilled in Tech, this is a failure and his ship suffers three points of damage. Yikes!

Han putters around, doing odd jobs and earning 2000 credits in the process. He then picks up a Stolen Weapons Cargo Job, which involves a 2000 credit down payment. This activates the Imperial Patrol, which moves three spaces towards him. He then pokes around Nal Hutta a bit more, and discovers *surprise, surprise* that there’s an active bounty for Hondo Ohnahka.

Given the chance to to track down Dr. Evazan on Tatooine, Bossk decides to pop down there while he's headed to Kessel. First up he performs his Character Action, which is allows him to recover damage on both himself and his ship. Hearing that there's a Cargo Job destined for Kessel, he drops the 2000 credit purchase cost to cram these Stolen Supplies away in his ship's hold. This prompts the Syndicate Patrol to move three spaces in his direction. He then investigates the white Contact Token there...which turns out to be Dr. Evazan! Unfortunately, Bossk totally whiffs his combat roll, scoring zero hits. Naturally, Evazan scores 2 Crits (!) on his counter attack for a net 4 damage (!!!).  Mercifully, Bossk's Armored Vest saves his life!

Han jets over to Tatooine and attempts to deliver his Stolen Weapons. Unfortunately, he rolls a Crit where he needed a regular Hit, so he has to resolve Card #1. He rolls a single Hit with that card, so there’s no effect. Han escapes detection and decides to bide his time, immersing himself in the local underground scene. In his subsequent Influence Test, he rolls one Crit and resolves card number 40. As it turns out, Han can't resist the temptation of a sabacc match against Bossk. Unfortunately, the Corellian rolls no Crits and Bossk instantly sees through this comically-bad hand. Skilled in Tactics, Bossk rolls two Crits and handily wins the card game. This entitles the Trandoshan to either take 6000 credits from the other player or a trade ship sheets with him. Naturally, he opts to take the money, which mercifully ends another disastrous turn for Solo!

Deciding that he needs more firepower to deal with these pesky bounties, Bossk scrounges up an additional 2000 credits by performing some local gigs. During the Action Step, he resolves his own Personal Action to heal 2 damage from himself and one from his ship. Then, after dropping a sizable 8000 credits on an MPL 57 Grenade Launcher, he heads back out to find Evazan. As a side note, acquiring this weapon prompts a Rebel Patrol to land on Tatooine. In the subsequent scrap, Bossk rolls 3 Hits and 1 Crit while Evazan just rolls 1 Hit. After subduing his quarry, Bossk takes him prisoner.

As for poor Han, he can’t seem to catch a break. He spends his Planning Step doing odd jobs in an attempt to make up some of the money he lost in the sabacc match. In his Action Step, he attempts to unload the Illegal Cargo still sitting in his ship's hold. He rolls a Blank but, thanks to his Smuggling Compartments, this lets him turn the blank into the Hit needed to successfully deliver the cargo. This  earns him 7000 credits and one Fame! Emboldened by this, he pays the 1000 credits required to take on a Coaxium Cargo Job destined for nearby Ryloth. This moves the Imperial Patrol four spaces, and they land on the desert planet. Things are getting hot...in more ways than one! Having finally learned his lesson, Han decides to keep a low profile for the rest of his turn

NOTE: Ham Salad action figure not included!

Anxious to get paid, Bossk jets off to Kessel. In deep space, he decides to scan around his current nav point. He intercepts a transmission intended for someone else, quietly banks this Secret and keeps on truckin'.

NOTE: kick ass Bossk figure not included.

Han flies two nav points to Ryloth during his Planning Step. During his Action Step he delivers the Coaxial Crystal, gaining 5000 credits and one positive Imperial Reputation. While on Ryloth, he hears rumors of a used ship for sale, which turns out to be a battered YT 1300 light freighter. He immediately pays the whopping 20,000 credit asking price. Sure she’s a bit beat up, coming to him with three damage, but it also fulfills Han's Personal Goal, which is to have a ship valued at 15,000 credits or more. He earns one Fame and flips his card to the "Skilled" side. Thrilled by this turn of good fortune, Han decides to take on a Bacta Supply job. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have the 1000 credit investment to accommodate it. Although it pains him to do it, he sells his Smuggling Compartments to accommodate the cargo. This moves the Hutt patrol three spaces in his direction.

After Bossk arrives on Kessel he rolls 1 Hit, delivering his Stolen Supplies, earning him 1 Fame and 7000 credits. After taking a Character Action to recover 2 damage to himself. He then takes a Market Action, investing 1000 credits to pick up Salvage Card, which moves the Rebel Patrol four spaces in his direction. Then, during the Encounter Phase, he attempts to rescue a local governor's son who fell in with an unsavory crowd and found himself in the spice mines. This requires Bossk to test Knowledge to locate an alternate entrance, but he fails to roll the required Crit. This leads to Plan B: going in guns a-blazin' versus the pike sentinel guards. Armed with his grenade launcher, he rolls five dice and gets six hits...two regular and two Crits! The Guards dice up three hits in reply: one Crit and one regular. He defeats the guards but also takes three damage in return, nearly dying in the process. He currently has 4 damage but, thanks for his Armored Vest, he's still alive! Unfortunately, the door to the prisoner's cell is so corroded with rust he needs to roll a Strength test to open it. The one Hit he generates is just enough, which lets him spring the prisoner and make good his escape. He gains 8000 credits and one Fame, but also loses favor with the Syndicate. Note: in a strange twist, having a Black Sun agent on board earns him a bonus 2000 credits for this venture.

After series of rough bounces, Han decides to just heal all of his damage and repair his new ship during the Planning Step. Feeling refreshed, Han then takes a Market Step, taking on a job called  Rooting Out Spies for his ol' buddy Maz Kanata. This moves the Hutt patrol three spaces in his direction and they touch down on Ryloth. While passing by a junk pile he comes across a wrecked IG-type battle droid. After re-activating it, Han learns that the droid was a former bodyguard. He attempts to reprogram the thing using Tech and rolls a Hit! The droid joins the crew, adding +2 Strength as well as the matching attribute.

Knowing that piloting isn't his strong suit, Bossk eschews travelling via the Maelstrom, choosing instead to depart Kessel via the traditional nav points. He then uses his Ability Action to heal two points of damage. It’s a darn good thing that Trandoshans can regenerate! Rested up a bit, he decides to chance an encounter with his current location. His scans reveal a derelict transport that's completely abandoned. Bossk salvages the cargo, taking a hit to his reputation with the Hutts, so now he's neutral with them.

Blasting off in the newly re-dubbed Millenium Falcon, Hanuses the nine (!) movement points at his disposal to move all the way from Ryloth to Takodana. Looking to help out Maz, Han spends 1000 credits to hire someone who's adept in local knowledge. In the subsequent test, Han must pass an Influence check. Although he rolls one Hit, he;s unskilled, which means he needed a Crit, so this is a failure. The information broker betrays Han and her minions try to murder him for poking around. In the resulting shoot-out, the smuggler gets a surprising three Hits and the goons roll two. He wins the fight, taking only a single damage in the process. The contact tries to flee, but Han's local connection knows a shortcut through the hideout's basement. The resulting Knowledge Test scores a Hit, just enough to pass through without damage. They catch up to her, resulting in a running firefight. Han fires from a distance, scoring a single Hit on his first attempt. Unfortunately, that’s not enough...he needs a Crit! The same result happens on the second attempt, so he takes another damage, but the third time's the charm! He takes down the spy, completes the job, discards the hired help, and then gains 5000 credits and one Fame!

After Bossk touches down on Mon Calamari, he delivers the Salvage, gaining 5000 credits and one Rebel reputation. He also delivers Dr. Evazan to the authorities, scoring a whopping 10,000 credits and a Fame. Once again, his Personal Action pays off and he heals two damage. Positively rolling in cash, Bossk decides to take a Market Action, picking up a 3000 credit nav-computer which will add 1 to his ship speed. Unfortunately, he's still 1000 credits shy of his personal goal, which is to have at least one mod and two gear with a combined cost of 15,000. After deciding to check out the local space port, he bumps into a Wookiee bounty hunter by the name of Black Krrsantan. Not only is Bossk fresh out of active bounties to share with him, the Trandoshan's reputation of being a wookiee-slayer sparks a fight. Bossk rolls a grand total of three Hits and one Crit while his rival only scores two Hits. Although the wookiee is defeated and removed from the game, Bossk gets nothing for the kill. BOOO! C'mon, that's gotta be worth at least a Fame point!

Han decides to spend the first part of his turn healing three damage. He then heads off to the Market, picking up a DL-44 Heavy Blaster Pistol for 3000 credits. This moves the Syndicate Patrol three spaces in his direction. Before shipping out, Han explores Takoana a little bit. As it turns out, Imperials have been sniffing around the system and Maz accuses Han of bringing them there. He takes a hit to his reputation with the Impies just to stay in her good graces, which allows him to resolve a new card involving a clandestine meeting with a code breaker. Sensing that he's getting in way over his head, Han decides to step back a bit.

Now on a roll, Bossk jets off to Cantonica, which is 5 parsecs away. After regenerating 2 damage during the Action Phase, the Trandoshan attempts to offload his illegal Stolen Cargo. Unfortunately, he doesn’t roll a Hit, which results in some "unwanted attention." Since he rolled the Focus symbol, he overhears that the Rebellion is in desperate need for the cargo he's looking to sell. He callously disregards their plea, choosing to deliver it elsewhere. This causes him to lose one Rebel Reputation, but the goods are moved and the resulting 7000 credits are banked.

Han decides to stay on Takodana for one more turn, collecting 2000 credits by doing some odd jobs for Maz. He decides to cycle the Market Deck, revealing a Vibroknife, which he decides not to take. Instead, he accepts a job for the Hutts, which involves hijacking a merchant freighter. This moves the Syndicate Patrol three spaces in his direction. During the Encounter Step, he decides to hang out at Takodona Castle, bumping into Bib Fortuna while he's there. Han tells the majordomo about Bossk's past transgressions against Jabba, which causes his rival to lose one Hutt reputation.

After pursuing some odd jobs on Cantonica, Bossk cycles the Ship Deck. By some wonderful coincidence, the next vessel turns out to be a YV-666 Light Freighter, which he immediately purchases! He decides to celebrate his new ride, re-dubbed the Hound's Tooth, by hitting the town. He finds himself embroiled in a game of chance in a run-down sector the city. Feeling lucky, the bounty hunter drops a 2000 credit bet and rolls the chance cubes. Sure enough, he gets a success...netting him a cool 5000 credits. Everything's comin' up Milhou...er, Bossk!

Han jets off to the Ring of Kafrene. Before tackling the hijacking job, he to scare up some additional  crew. He decides to cycle the Job Deck, revealing a card called "Hutt Favor", turfing the bounty on Hondo in the process. This also moves the Hutt Patrol four spaces. Undaunted by his skeleton crew, Han proceeds with the hijacking job. First up, a single Hit ensures that the Falcon docks with her prey without a hitch. Once onboard, they need to remove an access panel to try and slice the freighter's computer. Fortunately, the IG unit rolls one Hit on its Strength check, which is more than enough to succeed. Now it's Han's turn to shine! Unfortunately, his Tech roll results in back-to-back Focus results: a failure! This sets off an alarm and the Falcon suffers a point of damage in the resulting chaos. Desperate to flee, Han tries to blow up the docking clamps now holding his ship in place. He manages to roll a Crit, freeing the Falcon while accruing no extra damage.Things get even worse when a Black Sun escort fighter shows up and attacks the Falcon. Han's gunner generates only a single Hit on 4 dice but the attacking fighter delivers a punishing Crit and single Hit for a total of 3 damage! The Falcon gets away, but, sadly, the job is a complete bust.

Bossk continues to loiter around Cantonica, collecting 2000 credits for various odd jobs. He then sells his Armored Vest for a 3000 credit, um...credit to buy a Vibroknife for 1000 credits. This allows him to complete his Personal Goal, so he flips over his Character Card and scores one Fame in the process. This also moves the Syndicate Patrol 4 spaces in his direction. He then opts to explore Cantonica, crossing paths with the protocol-droid-turned-bounty hunter 4-LOM. He decides to spend the 3000 credits to hire the merc, just to gain the Tactics skill and +1 to ground combat.

Ask for Han, he's forced to burn his Planning Step in order to repair all of the damage to the Falcon. Looking to increase his odds, he pays 5000 credits to install an Ion Cannon on the ship. He then doggedly attempts to tackle the job again. After Han's flawless Piloting check, the IG-unit's Strength test is bungled, resulting in the Falcon taking a point of damage. Han rebounds with a Crit on his Tech check, slicing the computer like buttah. In the subsequent dogfight, Han rolls two Crits and two regular Hits for a total of six damage. The Black Sun escort fighter rolls one Critical and one regular Hit, the latter of which is cancelled by the Ion Cannon, so it's a net two damage. Han wins the combat and finally completes the job, collecting 5000 credits and scoring well-earned bump in Hutt Reputation as well as +1 Fame.

Bossk jets off to Lothal, which is five parsecs away. He decides to hit up the Market, getting a bounty for Greedo. This prompts the Hutt patrol to move four spaces in his direction. He then checks out the  green contact on that space, who turns out to be Boshek. The bounty hunter decides to drop the 2000 credits required to hire the expert Pilot, giving him the matching skill.

Once again, Han spends his Planning Phase repairing the damage to the Millennium Falcon. He spends the rest of his turn prospecting for a Targeting Computer Mod, which moves the Rebel Patrol three spaces in his direction. He then explores the local underground, running into a starship "hot rodder", who offers the top three cards of the Market Deck, including some sweet Maneuvering Thrusters and a Quad Laser Cannon. Unfortunately, due to his painful lack of funds, the destitute Corellian has to pass.

Bossk continues to chill out on Lothal, acting as temporary muscle for a local crime lord to collect 2000 credits. Unbeknownst to Boshek, the ruthless Trandoshan hears about a bounty on his co-pilot's head and immediately turns on his ally. Bossk starts this capture attempt armed with  his Grenade Launcher, a Vibroknife and backup from 4-LOM. He rolls of grand total of four Hits and one Crit hit for a total of six while the surprised Boshek can only manage 1. As a result, he's captured.

Han manages to scrounge up 2000 credits while loitering around Kafrene. He then cycles the Cargo Deck, spending 1000 to accommodate some Food Supplies. This also moves the Hutt Patrol four spaces in his direction. They touch down in the same system but Han currently enjoys a positive reputation with the Hutts, so it's all good. He then resolves an Encounter Card, getting into conversation with a local *a-hem* jizz wailer (look it up) who claims to be "the most famous musician in this corner of the galaxy." He offers to write a song detailing the smuggler's exploits, but since Han isn't technically the most famous character right now, it's gonna cost him. Begrudgingly, Han pawns off his blaster to come up with the 8000 credits required for payment. It's a solid investment, though, scoring him a much-needed Fame. He's now at 6!

The Hound's Tooth has just enough movement required to make landfall on Nal Hutta. He immediately delivers Boshek, gaining 8000 credits and bringing his Fame up to seven. In a bid to get the eighth and final Fame point to win, Bossk cycles the Luxury deck. He passes up the Undercover Agent card, opting instead to pay 2000 credits to take on some Stolen Weapons, hoping to cart them off to Tatooine next turn. This moves the Imperial Patrol three spaces in his direction. They arrive on Nal Hutta, but since he has a neutral reputation with them, everything is copacetic. Bossk then bumped into local alien dudebro Ponda Baba. With a successful Strength test, the Aqualish goon is put into his place and, suitably Beta-cucked, he joins the Trandoshan's crew.

Between the Millennium Falcon's obscene speed and Han's special ability, he gets all the way to Nal Hutta on one turn! The smuggler then delivers the Food Supplies, collecting 5000 credits and re-enforcing his positive reputation with the Hutts. This also completes his Ship Goal since he has two Mods and just delivered a Cargo! It’s now a race to see who gets that final Fame point! After cycling the Job Deck, Han learns of Jabba's Hidden Stash which moves the Hutt Patrol three spaces in his direction. He then decides to poke around on Nal Hutta, passing up an open bounty on a Black Sun agent.

As if there's nothing to it, Bossk flies his Illegal Cargo to Tatooine, unloads it with an effortless Hit roll, collects 7000 credits and gains one more Fame for the win!

REVIEW

PROS

• I like the Outer Rim map board and the recessed ship control panels. The latter is particularly sweet since your trackers won't fly all over hell and/or creation if someone mistakenly bumps into the table.
• The rules are remarkably clear and intuitive and I didn't spend a metric crap ton of time looking stuff up.
• Of course, I'm gonna compare this to both Firefly and Merchants & Marauders and, frankly, I think it beats both of them handily! Both of those games have a tendency to come to a screeching halt during the "Aim to Disobey" actions in the former and combats in the latter; a situation that's completely remedied in Outer Rim. In addition, the patrol system here is very elegant and doesn't require a ton of book-keeping. Another point: even when you're floating around in deep space, you still can get into misadventures, so it feels as if your turn is wasted. Put it this way: I'm seriously thinking of turfing both of those other titles!  Frankly, I think the only other game that holds a candle to it is probably Xia with the expansions. 
• My session reports shows just how thematic the game can be. 
• Between the ships, mods, characters, crew, equipment and jobs there's a decent variety here.
• The balance seems pretty decent to me, at least with these two characters. Despite Han getting consistently kicked in the space-cubes, he still only lost by one Fame! 

CONS   

• Given that most of the cards are without art and, even less forgivable, we don't get any ship models ("BOOOO!!!"), clearly the price point is high just because the words "STAR" and "WARS" are plastered all over the box. I subbed in minis from the old WOTC Star Wars Miniatures game, 'cuz I just thought anything else was a travesty. 
• The game abstracts a lot of stuff, which may annoy a certain segment of hardcore gamers. Personally, after gnashing my teeth at the design failures that hobble it's competitors, I'd prefer breezy over chrome-y with a title like this.

*** 

With it's planet-hopping pace, rich thematic content and no shortage of tough scrapes to get in and out of, Outer Rim scores five pips outta six, with a tilt up towards the top of Chewbacca's furry pate! 

Never Tell Me The Odds - "Star Wars: Destiny"

With the success of DiceMasters, it was just a matter of time before Fantasy Flight used their Star Wars license(-to-print-money) to come up with their own freakin' collectible dice game. But with the popularity of that venerable WizKidz game waning and Star Wars merchandising rapidly reaching the saturation point, did Corey Konieczka and Lukas Litzsinger manage to come up with a design so good that it overcomes the inherently-mercenary nature of collectible games?

Well, the answer is yes...and no.

So what's the opening crawl on Star Wars: Destiny? I'll just let the super-slick holo-vid experts at Fantasy Flight whisk you off to that beloved galaxy far, far away...

Looking to read the full rules holocron? Well, just click on the following link to review the entire saga!

***

PLAY THROUGH

KYLO REN (ELITE) & CAPTAIN PHASMA     

VS.     

REY (ELITE) & FINN

With a random roll of four versus one, the Dark Side starts off the game. Since the good guys go second, they receive a consolation prize of free Shields. Daisy decides to place both of them on Rey. Adam then chooses to use his own Battlefield: I.E. the Frozen Wastes of Starkiller Base. Hey, that rhymes!

Both players begin the game with two Resources apiece.

ROUND ONE

Adam activates Kylo Ren, rolling his dice and getting two special ability Symbols.

Daisy's plays "Take Cover" for free. This Event gives Rey a third Shield, which is her maximum.

Adam then resolves his two special ability Symbols. He selects Rey, randomly draws "Use the Force" and "Awakenings" from Daisy's hand and and Rey loses two Shields!

Daisy spends one Resource to plays "Awakenings" which lets her to treat Modifier die result as if were a regular result.

Adam activates Captain Phasma, rolling a miss.

Daisy activates Rey, rolling a 1-Resource and a +1 Modified Resource.

Adam then spends one Resource to play "Isolation" which lets him kick Rey's 1-Resources die back to her card.

In response, Daisy spends her last Resource to play "Use the Force" to turn her one remaining die to the 1-Melee side.

Next up, Adam spend his last Resource to play "Boundless Ambition". He draws two new cards, up to his maximum hand size.

Daisy resolves Rey's lone Melee die, hitting Kylo Ren for a point.

Adam decides to gamble, throwing out a card called "Flank" to re-roll Phasma's die. He gets a +1Ranged modifier.

Daisy activates Finn, also rolling a +1 Ranged modifier.

Adam decides to take his Lightsaber and mask and go home by Claiming the Battlefield. This forces Daisy to remove a Character die, so Finn's 1-Ranged attack goes back on his card. Or course, this also means that the round is over for the bad guys.

With precious few options, Daisy decides that she's done as well, and so it's on to the next round. Daisy and Adam both collect two new Resources. Adam draws one card and Daisy draws three cards to get themselves back up to five.

ROUND TWO

Since Adam Claimed the Battlefield, he kicks things off by activating Kylo, rolling a special Symbol and a 1-Melee side in the process.

Daisy plays BB-8 for one Resource.

Adam decides to resolve his special Symbol Kylo Ren die. Once again, Daisy shuffles her cards and randomly reveals "Daring Escape" which cost two Resources. As a result, Rey loses her last remaining Shield and takes one damage.

Daisy activates Rey, rolling a miss and 1-Resource.

Petty emo fuck that we is, Adam resolves his 1-Melee damage die, causing a point of hurt to Rey.  

Daisy activates BB-8 and rolls the 1-Shield symbol.

Adam activates Phasma, getting a 1-Discard symbol on the roll.

Daisy resolves BB-8's die, giving Rey a badly-needed Shield.

Adam resolves Phasma's Discard die. Daisy reveals, and then throws out, "Force Throw". Ouch.

Daisy activates Finn but rolls a miss.

Adam Claims the Battlefield, forcing Daisy to remove her 1-Resource die.

Daisy also decides to pass and once again the round is over.

All characters refresh and get their dice back. Daisy draws two new cards while Adam is already at his maximum hand size. Both players then collect two Resources each.

ROUND THREE

Adam still controls the Battlefield so he goes first, spending three resources to equip Kylo with his Lightsaber! Ruh-roh.

Daisy plays "Draw Attention" for free, moving two damage from Ray to Finn.

Adam activate Kylo Ren, rolling a 2-Melee result, a +3 Melee damage modifier and a miss with his Lightsaber.

Daisy quickly spends two Resources to play "Block", removing all of Adam's Melee dice!

Frustrated, Adam activates Phasma, rolling a 1-Resource symbol.

Daisy activates Rey, generating 1-Melee and 1-Discard.

Adam pays one Resource to play "Disturbance in the Force" forcing a re-roll on all dice! Rey gets a 1-Discard and a +1 Resource while Kylo gets a miss and Phasma gets a +1 Resource. 

Daisy decides to exhaust her "Awakening" Support to use her +1 Resource die to get a Resource.

Adam resolves Phasma's 1-Resource die to do the same.

Daisy plays out her 1-Discard die and Adam is forced to throw out "Force Strike".

Adam Claims the Battlefield in response.

Daisy then activates Finn, but rolls a Miss. She follows this up by activating BB-8 and rolling a Disrupt symbol. She decides to resolve that next, forcing Adam to throw out one of his Resources. She then passes and the round comes to an end.

All Characters refresh. Daisy draws two cards and Adam pulls three. Both players collect two Resources apiece.

ROUND FOUR

Adam starts off the new round by activating Kylo, getting 1-Melee, a +2 Melee and a miss!

Daisy spends two Resources to equip "Jedi Robes" on Rey. This activates her Special Ability which lets her take an additional Action when she gets an Upgrade. So Daisy activates Rey, rolling 1-Melee and two +1 Resource symbols.

Adam resolves his Melee dice, dropping three damage on Rey. She loses her two Shields and takes one point of damage.

Daisy exhausts her "Awakenings" card to resolve one of Rey's modified Resources die results.

Adam uses two Resources to play an "F-11D Rifle" on Phasma. Yikes!

Rey uses all three of her Resources to play "Second Chance" on Finn.

Adam spends a single Resource to play "Emperor's Favor" increasing his hand size maximum to six!

Finn activates, rolling a miss!

Phasma activates, rolling a special Symbol with her blaster and a 1-Discard.

BB-8 activates, rolling 1-Resource.

Adam resolves the F-11D's special Symbol, which deals two points of hurt to Daisy's characters, but she decides how to distribute the damage. As a result, Finn heroically jumps in the way, sparing Rey any harm! #truelurve

Daisy performs BB-8's 1-Resouce result.

Adam resolves Phasma's Discard and Daisy throws out a "Block" card.

Daisy responds with her 1-Melee result, causing a point of damage to Kylo.

Adam decides to cut out when he's on top, Claiming the Battlefield and signalling the end of the round. With no viable plays left, Daisy agrees to "move along".

Everyone refreshes. Daisy draws three cards and so does Adam, thanks to his "Emperor's Favor". They also collect two Resources apiece.

ROUND FIVE

Adam comes out swinging, spending a whopping four Resources to play the incredibly nasty "Mind Probe" Upgrade on Kylo Ren.

Daisy activates Rey, getting a miss, a 1-Discard and a 1-Resources result.

Adam activates Kylo, getting a miss, a +3 melee and two special Symbols.

Daisy then spends all of her Resources to play a "DL-44 Blaster" on Finn. This Upgrade item forces Adam to select and return a die, so brings back the miss. This item also has the Ambush trait, which allows Daisy to take another action. She activates Finn, rolling a 1-Ranged result and 1-Resource.

Adam resolves both of his Symbol dice, targeting Rey. First, Kylo's special ability forces Daisy to reveal a card, which turns out to be 2-Resource "Daring Escape" so she takes an equal amount of damage. He then unleashes the "Mind Probe" Symbol which reads causes a point of damage to a character equal to the number of cards in their hand. That's a whopping four more points to Rey, leaving her with only three life left!

Daisy resolves Rey's 1-Resource die.

Adam activates Phasma, rolling a 2-Ranged result with a +1 Ranged Modifier!

This forces Daisy to spend her one remaining Resource to play "Use the Force", turning Phasma's 2-Ranged hit to a miss!

Adam retaliates by Claiming the Battlefield, dumping Finn's 1-Ranged die in the process.

Daisy closes out the round by resolving Rey's 1-Discard die which forces Adam to throw out "The Best Defense". She then rolls BB8's die and gets a miss! Finally she cashes in Finn's 1-Resource die.

Everything is refreshed. Both players get two Resources each and draw two cards apiece.

ROUND SIX

Adam kicks things off by playing an Infantry Grenade on Phasma!

Daisy activates Finn but gets a miss and 1-Resource.

Adam activates Phasma and rolls a miss, a 1-Discard and a 2-Ranged with the Grenade.

Daisy reacts by playing "Daring Escape" for two Resources. She forces Adam to re-roll Phasma's dice. Both turn up misses and go right out of the die pool! And since this is an Ambush card, Daisy plays "Aim" to turn Finn's blaster miss into a 3-point Ranged hit!

Decidedly irked, Adam rolls Kylo's dice, getting a scary array of 2-Melee, 3-Ranged, 1-Melee and a special Symbol with the Lightsaber.

Clearly on the defensive now, Daisy plays "Unpredictable", forcing Adam to re-roll his 3-Ranged result. Unfortunately, the special Symbol for Mind Probe turns up instead, which is arguably worse! On the upside since this is an Ambush play, Finn gets to blast Kylo right in the grill for three Ranged damage!

Adam unleashes a hell-storm, paying one Resource to deal three Melee damage to Rey, eliminating her!

Daisy activates BB-8 and gets a 1-Focus result!

Adam resolves his special Symbol for Kylo's Lightsaber, causing two points of damage to Finn! He then plays out his special Symbol for the Mind Probe, dealing two more points of damage to our hero!

Daisy uses BB-8's Focus to turns Finn's die to 2-Ranged result!

Adam Claims the Battlefield, ending the round and discarding Finn's 2-Ranged damage die! 

Daisy has little choice but to end the round as well. Things are looking pretty grim for the forces of good!

Daisy draws three cards and Adam draws one. Both players refresh their cards and get two Resources apiece.

ROUND SEVEN

Adam kicks things off, paying two Resources to play the "Immobilize" Upgrade on Kylo!

Daisy activates Finn, rolling 2-Ranged and 1-Supply.

Adam activates Kylo, getting 2-Melee, 1-Melee, a +3 Melee, a Shield and a special "Mind Probe" result. It's just about the best possible roll he could have hoped for!

Knowing that the end is near, Daisy spends Finn's 2-Ranged die, wounding Kylo. He still has two life remaining.

Adam spends one Resource to resolve his special "Mind Probe" Symbol, dealing a whopping five points of damage to Finn, killing him.

But wait! Instead of being defeated, Finn heals five points of damage thanks to "Second Chance"! Daisy activates BB-8, rolling 1-Resource.

The reprieve is brief. Adam activates Kylo's Melee dice, dealing six points to Finn, killing him and ending the game!

***

REVIEW

PROS

• When I first saw images of the dice I was afraid that they were stickers. Thankfully, Fantasy Flight came up a process whereby the images are heat-pressed right onto the plastic. To ensure that these images don't deteriorate, the dice are then covered in a scratch-resistant coating. Granted, people who've already invested in Fantasy Flight's other Star Wars themed games will likely bitch about the recycled art, but I love it. The cards are great to look at and easy to understand. 
• The rules are crazy stupid simple. Yeah, the Discard and Disrupt symbols were a tad confusing at first, but now I've got everything locked down cold. Even when the wee little instruction sheet that comes in the starters fails you, the full online rules are pretty comprehensive.
• The game's design is well in step with the quick pace of Star Wars. Since you can only do one thing on your turn, you're always chomping at the bit to go again. The cards that Lukas Litzsinger and Corey Konieczka have come up with neatly evoke all of the character traits, weapons, upgrades, events and game-changing conditions from the movies. From a design perspective it's head and shoulders above Dice Masters, which is essentially just a Quarriors / Magic: The Gathering mash-up. In the immortal words of a certain Dark Lord of the Sith: "Impressive. Most impressive."      
• Interesting timing and tactical decision abound. Should I roll everything into my dice pool to try and polish off a rival character and risk being disrupted? Even though I technically still have plays left, should I Claim the Battlefield now to trigger its strategic reward? Do I spend all of my limited Resources to play this sweet Upgrade or try to mitigate that slew of Ranged damage that's eventually headed my way? 
• I absolutely love deck building in this game. Even though Awakenings is a relatively small set, a myriad of different strategies quickly become apparent. And since your deck is only thirty cards with a "two of the same card" limit,  you can slap decks together super quick and trim the fat with minimal effort.
• The game length is perfect. The "you lose if you discard your last card" caveat helps to ensures that Destiny doesn't over-stay its welcome.          

CONS

• With all of these disparate, card-delivered mechanics crashing together there's bound to be a few confusing rules conflicts. Cripes, interpreting "Second Chance" alone under different circumstances is more than enough to inspire a host threads on Board Game Geek and Reddit. If you're playing with chill people this will be a moot point but the soft language on some of the cards might give rules lawyers plenty of ammo to paralyze the game.  
• Once your team starts on the path of a death spiral, it's pretty darned hard to pull out of it. Not impossible, but pretty darned difficult. 
• Just like all collectible games, Star Wars: Destiny comes with a disclaimer. Yes, a lot of the common cards are very useful. Yes, the starter decks are technically playable when you add a few boosters. But, let's face it, Fantasy Flight knew exactly what they were doing here. They wanted completist psychos like me to buy boosters hand over fist until we had two copies of every card. And, clearly its working since the game is now scarcer than a nudist Jawa. This also brings me to the painful topic of distribution. A friend of mine bought one box of boosters and got Luke, Vader, Grievous ×2, Leia, Nightsister ×2, Padme, General Veers, Han Solo, Bala Tik, Phasma, Tusken Raider, and Admiral Ackbar I.E everything you'd ever want for characters in one go. My box, on the other hand, had a First Order Stormtrooper, Grievous x 2, Veers x 2, Vader, Nightsister x 2, Bala Tik, Tusken Raider x 2, Ackbar x 2, Leia and Padme. And honestly, that sucks in comparison. This game would have been sooo much better if the sets were fixed set like a living card game instead of chasing the dragon for all the "mains and toys". I feel like we're back in the bad old days of Deciphers Star Wars Customizable Card Game.      

***

THE BOTTOM LINE

Man, I was really hoping that this game would suck. But, nope, Lukas Litzsinger and Corey Konieczka have actually managed to produce an original, fast-paced, nuanced, fun, engaging little game that's compulsively playable. More the pity, then, that the overall experience is soured knowing that you're barely-augmented Rey starter will always get thoroughly and viciously trounced by an Elite Jango / Veers combo.

In spite of this, Star Wars: Destiny earns five pips outta six with a tilt down into the collectible Rancor pit of despair.

***

Wanna pair Poe and Finn up in the same deck just to piss off the haters? #truelurve

Well, yer gonna hafta wait for awhile since the only source for boosters right now are unscrupulous scalpers who are selling them for thirteen bucks a pop.

In the meantime, you can click here to read Fantasy Flight's immediate plans for product availability. Sad to say, but it looks as if Fantasy Flight is going for the same "let's make as much filthy luchre from this as quickly we can by pumping out expansions before everyone gets sick of it" model that prematurely murdered Dice Masters.

WHATTA TWIST! - "Star Wars: Imperial Assault"

When Star Wars: Imperial Assault was first announced I distinctly remember scoffing at the idea. Soooo, lemme get this straight...you're gonna re-skin Descent: Journeys in the Dark (Second Edition) with a Star Wars theme. Really?!?

A game of star-fighter combat like X-Wing I can understand. Ditto for a skirmish game like Star Wars Miniatures. But shoehorning Star Wars into a dungeon crawl seemed like a dumb idea to me.

But then, when the damned thing started to appear on store shelves, it initiated a long and protracted process of me picking the thing up, marveling over the size and weight of the box, reading every detail on the back, sniffing it thoroughly and then putting it back down on the shelf over and over again. This was all set to the running commentary of one person after another telling me that it was the greatest thing to happen to Star Wars since The Empire Strikes Back. 

But I refused to buy it blind; I had to test drive it first. So, back on February 4'th I got my apartment in order and volunteered to host game night again. My only corollary: Andrew had to bring Star Wars: Imperial Assault and he had to run it.

 
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Here's the opening title crawl for the game directly from Fantasy Flight:

"Imperial Assault is a miniatures game of tactical combat and missions for two to five players, offering two distinct games of battle and adventure in the Star Wars universe!

"Imperial Assault puts you in the midst of the Galactic Civil War between the Rebel Alliance and the Galactic Empire after the destruction of the Death Star over Yavin 4. In this game, you and your friends can participate in two separate games. The campaign game pits the limitless troops and resources of the Galactic Empire against a crack team of elite Rebel operatives as they strive to break the Empire’s hold on the galaxy, while the skirmish game invites you and a friend to muster strike teams and battle head-to-head over conflicting objectives."

Looking to watch the entire saga from start to finish? Then use your Force powers to click on the following link and find out what it takes to bring law and order to the galaxy!

*** 

John also joined us that evening and since he'd already played the game before as a Rebel he was keen to see how the other half lived. This worked out rather well since Andrew had run the game a week before for Chad as the Empire and this would also give him a chance to switch roles.

I was pretty happy with this arrangement since Andrew could give Mike and I some time-tested strategy tips on how to win the scenario. Nice thought, but unfortunately it didn't quite work out so well.  

More on that later.

So, here's how the role selection shook out:  

IMPERIALS

JOHN, starting with one Probe Droid, one Imperial Officer and three Stormtroopers. 

REBELS

ANDREW - MAK ESHKA'REY 

"Bold Renegade"

  

ME - FENN SIGNIS 

"Hardened Veteran"

MIKE - JYN ODAN

"Sly Smuggler"

We decided to play Scenario One in the Campaign Guide. Our mission: destroy the four computer Terminals on the map within six Turns. As the Imperials, it was John's task to run out the six-Round clock and protect the Terminals or Wound each one of us.

So, here we are appearing at our insertion point on the map:

Between Mak's Longblaster and Jyn's "Opportunist" trait, Andrew and Mike quickly put one of the Stormtroopers in the dirt. In order to maximize my "Lone Wolf" ability, I decided to move away from my allies, risking a reprisal from John in the process. This allowed me to blast both Troopers at once with my "Havoc Shot" and recover Strain at the end of my turn.

We made short work of the Stormtroopers but, as expected, John used the Probe Droid's "special fist attachment" to give Fenn an ungodly rogering under the directive of his Imperial Officer. Andrew and I started blasting back while Mike snuck around to the other side to try and outflank our foes.

Thanks to our combined fire, we eventually managed to put down the Probot, leaving a lone n' scared Imperial Officer to oppose us.

We quickly dropped him like a bad habit. During this brief lull in the battle I quickly took the opportunity use two Rest actions to flip my Hero Sheet back to the "unwounded" side.

This also gave us a chance to sabotage the exterior Terminal. Andrew, ever the team player, decided to help himself to a med pack that he "yoinked" out of a nearby Crate. Unfortunately, just as we completed our handiwork, John brought another Probe Droid onto the battlefield!

Knowing that we were rapidly running out of time, Andrew and I urged Mike to whip open the bunker's blast door. Upon doing so, we found ourselves face-to-barrel with an E-Web Engineer. Deeper inside the bunker, another platoon of three Stormtroopers and an Officer prepared to defend themselves against this "terrorist" incursion.

Caught between a rock and a hard place, we decided to storm the bunker right away. Jyn dodged around the corner to try and start clearing out the control room. Ignoring the Probe Droid breathing down our necks and the E-Web about to paste us, both Fenn and Mak started pelting away at the Terminal in the corner of the room. 

And that's when it happened: John remotely sealed the external blast doors, trapping Mak, A.K.A. Andrew, A.K.A. one-third of our friggin' strike force A.K.A. the one person around the table who shoulda known better, outside of the friggin' bunker!  

As you might expect, things started to go downhill almost immediately. Jyn "Solo" got an unexpected amount of push-back from the Imperials she was trying to murder in the next room, I got smeared against the inside bunker door by the E-Web and Andrew deservedly ended up with a Pringles-can-sized poop chute thanks to the "Grope-Bot 3000" that he was now trapped outside with.

Even though I was "Wounded" again and Andrew had the friggin' med pack, we tried to forge on. Fenn rushed past the E-Web emplacement in the first room and joined Jyn in attacking the first Terminal. John, in perfect Empire style, struck back, forcing Mike to flip over his Hero Sheet as well. Not only were things looking dire on the Damage front, we only had a few turns left to try and pull off what amounted to a miracle.

Knowing that there wasn't enough time to blast through the bunker doors, Andrew used the med pack on himself to stave off a third Wound and then backed away from "Mr. All Arms", hoping to destroy the Probe Droid at a distance.

Meanwhile, inside the bunker's control room, things were swiftly turning into a galactic mosh pit. John brought in yet another wave of three Stormtroopers. Thanks to our communal "Heroic" Card, Mike leveraged his second activation to blast away at our foes as well as the third Terminal. Unfortunately, the durability of the damned thing had been improved considerably thanks to the horde
of Imperials guarding it.

After a few pot-shots, I took a Rest actions to recover my Strain hoping to exploit my Havoc Shot during the final turn.

True to my word, I used the double activation to start firing at will, causing widespread damage to both the closest terminal as well as the Imperial troops. Unfortunately it wasn't quite enough to destroy any of them. Mike cracked open a nearby storage Crate, hoping to find a concussion grenade but coming away with some sort of crappy com-link instead. 

Meanwhile, John performed an authoritative curb-stomp, moving a Stormtrooper onto the only undamaged Terminal in an effort to cock-block us.

In the final round, Andrew finally broke up with Fifty Shades of (Metal) Grey outside. Unfortunately his ex was immediately replaced by an equally-randy twin just moments later. *yay* 

Mike and I destroyed a third control Terminal at the end of Round Six but we still had one remaining.

But with that we were officially out of time and the evil Galactic Empire was victorious!

JOHN  WINS!

***

END GAME ANALYSIS & STRATEGY

Y'know, I still have no friggin' clue what happened here. Andrew, I'm looking in your direction.

He ran this scenario before as the Imperials, so surely he must have known about the whole "locked bunker door" option?!? You were the only person around the table with even the slightest inkling that this could happen yet your character was the only one who locked outside? Whutupwitdat? Please tell me that you recently received an unmarked Paypal money transfer from John recently, 'cuz that's the only thing that makes sense to me.

Seriously, you gotta explain this one. Until you do, you are, for all intents and purposes, completely dead to me.

Oh, and here's another question: why is it that your brain turns into a super-computer whenever you're playing a highly-competitive game where it's every last man, woman and child for themselves yet when faced with the daunting prospects of playing co-cooperatively you immediately get chump-blocked out of contention?

Oh, strategy tips? You want a strategy tip: DON'T PLAY THIS GAME WITH ANDREW!!!

***

REVIEW

PROS

• The game's productions values are the best I've seen yet from Fantasy Flight. The Threat / Round Dial, Map Tiles, Doors, Hero Sheets, Cards and Tokens are all top-notch. The sculpts for the miniatures are so detailed that they practically beg to be painted. And I haven't even pawed all over the the AT-ST yet!
• The designers do a pretty good job taking Descent mechanics and marrying them with the Star Wars Universe. The Stormtroopers, Imperial Officers, E-Web Cannons and the Probe Droids feel thematically appropriate. And between the standard issue Infantry Rifle, the "Havoc Shot" special ability and the "Lone Wolf" trait, Fenn Signis felt distinct enough to stand out from his peers. I think it would be an absolute blast to guide a single character through an entire campaign and watch them improve with better gear and more skills. 
• Set up time was deceptively quick and we got into the action right away. Basically, if you've played Descent then you're pretty much ready to go.
• To paraphrase George Lucas before he lost his marbles, "a battle without an objective is a pretty boring thing". Yes, you can play just a skirmish but campaign mode is infinitely more interesting to me.
• Branching choices within the same scenario! I love how John was given a choice between two different options which completely changed the game conditions. I'm left wondering if the Rebels will also get a chance to do these things and whether or not the decisions effect the overall campaign. Clever options like this make me feel like I'm playing a simplified version of the old Star Wars Role Playing Game!
• The custom combat dice make range and damage determination a breeze. 
• Not only does each scenario feel like a set piece from a Star Wars movie, you can play at least some of them out in less time than it takes to watch a Star Wars movie!  

CONS

• The ability to spend double movement points to elbow your way through a scrum of enemies may be forgivable in a melee-based game like Descent but it feels pretty goofy here. Yes, the firefights in the Star Wars franchise weren't very realistic but they had a certain internal logic and still felt perilous. Whenever our heroes encountered hostiles in the movies, they'd quickly jump into cover and then start blasting away from across the battlefield. Not once did I ever see Luke, Leia, Han or Lando make a suicidal bee-line charge into a pack of Stormtroopers, stand right up next to them and then try to cap each one in the helmet gangsta-style at point blank range. It's times like this when I thank Monte Cook and company for the simple, elegant "attack of opportunity" rule in the third edition of D&D. 
• From the time a scenario starts to the time it ends you'll find yourself locked in incessant combat. This slog through endless waves of enemies can sometimes get a bit tiring. Wouldn't it be great if the Imperial player could spend Threat to hard-lock a bunker door like they did in Return of the Jedi? This would put combat on hold for a moment as the heroes tried to hot-wire it back open via some sort of puzzle-like mini game. Varied tests like this would give players a brief respite from the endless spigot of battle and challenge them in creative ways. I'm hoping that the more involved scenarios that come later do something like this. 
  

***

Like I said in the preamble, when I first heard about a Star Wars / Descent hybrid I thought it sounded ridiculous. Perhaps it's because the first edition of Descent, with its plodding, repetitive, ceaselessly-violent Gauntlet-meets-Doom style game-play, was still stuck in my head. I'd forgotten that the newer iteration of Descent made tremendous strides to feel like an adventure, like a mission to be completed.

So here I am now, eating crow. I officially stand corrected. Imperial Assault is some kind of wonderful, a bonafide space miracle. I look forward to playing through an entire campaign and growing l'il Fenn Signis from raw recruit to Rebel hero.

As such, Star Wars: Imperial Assault scores five pips outta six with a strong tilt up towards that orbiting, half-completed Death Star.  

***

Wanna Probe (Droid) your opponent's Thermal Exhaust Port? Then click on the following link to learn more about Star Wars: Imperial Assault and keep this blog strong in the Force!  

"Hey, I'm Not Dead Yet...Oh, Wait, NOW I'm Dead!" - "Eldritch Horror"

A few months ago I played Arkham Horror for the second time. I wanted to give it another bash because our first game had been nothing but a protracted exercise in frustration. It took forever to get from one place to another, there were tons of fiddly rules to remember and it seemed unrepentantly difficult to do anything. Honestly, it felt like the gaming equivalent of slogging through mud up to your hips.

Still wanting to give the game a fair shake we decided to tackle it again just a few months ago.
Learning my lesson from the previous go-'round I spent the first hour or so loading good ol' Monterey Jack up to the gills with every permutation of weapon I could possibly get my weathered mitts on. When I finally procured every possible item required to close a Gate and seal it, I fought my way to the Witch's House and then boldly plunged into the Dreamlands.

I then spent two long, boring, protracted turns meandering through the Other Worlds waiting for my character to get systemically fucked over. Honestly, it felt like it took FOREVER. Bereft of any control over what was happening to me, my precious Clue Tokens (which I needed to seal the Gate) were slowly and inexorably robbed from me. All I could do was sit there as my dream of closing one measly Gate was ripped away from me in slow-motion.

Two turns later I was vomited back out onto the porch of the Witch's House. To add insult to injury, a Ghost had since migrated onto that same location. As soon as he saw me he tamped out his cigarette, pulled a bed sheet over his head and then proceeded to stomp a mud-hole in my ass. And because that spectral prick had a Physical Immunity, all of my weapons were about as useless as a DVD re-winder. Long story slightly less long: ol' Monty was quickly reduced to a gibbering, drooling mass of crazy and then immediately interred at Arkham Asylum where I got to waste yet another turn playing checkers with The Riddler.

I couldn't remember a time in which I was more bored, frustrated and pissed-off while playing a board game. To make the best of it, since we didn't actually finish the game, I couldn't vent my rage in the form of a review! Just like how I won't review a bad movie unless I've watched the whole stinkin' mess, I won't review a crap game until I've seen it through to the bitter end.

Yes, I know that the Cthulhu / Lovecraft Mythos is irredeemably bleak and it's not a matter of will your Investigator go nuts and / or die horribly but when and how. I really don't mind a challenge when it comes to co-op games, I just wonder why Arkham Horror has to be such a cunty bore about it.

Anyhoo, last week when Jeremy suggested that we try the new, globe-trotting flavor of Lovecraftian insanity and death called Eldritch Horror, I silently started to cackle.

"Time to break out the knives," I gloated, rubbing my hands together like a crazed cultist.

But then something unexpected happened. Something so unpredictable, so amazing, it made the ending of H.P.'s short story "Under the Pyramids" look like an episode of Dads.

I actually really, really liked it.

So what makes this latest iteration of Lovecraftian terror different from its predecessor? Clues to this multi-planar mystery can be found within the husk of the following slick trailer courtesy of those promotional geniuses at Fantasy Flight:

If you're willing to risk madness to augur the nefarious plans of the omnipotent Ancient Ones, feel free to crack open the Necronomicon-like rule book right here.

***

INVESTIGATOR SELECTION

Me...Silas Marsh

Dean...Charlie Kane

Jeremy...Jim Culver 

Matt...Trish Scarborough

ANCIENT ONE

Yog-Sothoth

Reasonably well-armed with my starting Fish Net and a few other accoutrements, I decided to tackle the Monster that was stinking up the Sydney Opera House. Not on my watch, slimy! Unfortunately, said beastie turned out to be a Shoggoth and, as such, the game began pretty much the same way as my two previous plays of Arkham Horror: I.E. I got my ass handed to me. Thusly humbled, I used my special ability to flee the cursed continent by ship, looking to put as much distance between me and my tentacled assailant.

To combat our first Mystery Card, "The Beyond", we needed to spend Clue Tokens gleaned from completed Research Encounters. After crossing the South Pacific, I prepared to take on some more Filthy McNasties in Buenos Aires.

As Charles Foster...er, Charlie Kane, Dean had all the economic clout he needed in order to pick up valuable resources in both San Francisco and Arkham. This included a Personal Assistant and a Trinket card which gave a +1 bonus to all Ability Tests. He even managed to snag a much-needed Observation Improvement Token for himself.

During various misadventures, Jeremy's Jim Culver procured two handy weapons: a Spirit Dagger and a Bull Whip. He also hooked up with some Hired Muscle and came across a Shriveling Spell, which I assume replicates the effect of dipping your foe in an unheated swimming pool. I guess even Unspeakable Horrors are paranoid about the size of their junk. Regardless of these intimidating assets, Culver got Delayed in Arkham, resulting in a frustrating loss of time.

After a few tough scrapes that inflicted two point of Health damage, Matt went into Debt in order to Acquire a .45 Automatic and the Arcane Scholar Ally. Both proved indispensable in a few key Encounters and led to a very handy Improvement in Influence. However, just like Jeremy, Matt also got mired in a series of unfortunate Delays.

After Silas managed to fumigate all of Buenos Aires, Chuck and Jim tagged-teamed the mounting evil forces in Arkham. Meanwhile, Trish discovered something even more disturbing then a rotund Greek tourist dressed in an invisible Speedo at a Sandals resort down in the Caribbean.

Then Trish and Jim traveled to foggy old London Town where they attempted to quell a nasty Monster-fueled Riot by enforcing an Agency Quarantine. This four-damage carpet bomb cleared out both sides of the Thames in one fell-swoop!

Completing our first Mission Card proved challenging at best. The first issue we ran into was that there were no Clue Tokens on the board. By the time those little green bastards finally started popping up, all of the Research-based locations were choked with deadly threats. Slowly but surely we managed to chip away at them, earn our fourth Clue Token and then move on to our next Mission.

"Arcane Understanding" proved to be no less daunting. For this Mystery, we had to discard a Spell after using it to pass a Lore Test and then claim an Eldritch Token for the card. Once again we had to do this four times in order to succeed.

Although these requirements were pretty circumstantial ("Okay, we need to sacrifice an albino gerbil during the third night of the summer Solstice, but only while wearing our ceremonial sombreros and only if AMC is currently airing a marathon of Breaking Bad"), Trish was well-suited to tackle this mission. After all, she had the Spell-generating Necronomicon in her possession and the ability to deliver the required sorcery thanks to her Arcane Scholar, Abby...er, Ally.

At that point in time Matt had to dash so we ran Trish collectively for the next little while. It's a damned good sight that he did make himself scarce, because he'd somehow managed to pick up an incredibly nasty Dark Pact Card which came to fruition not long after he left. 

And what was on the flip-side of this evil piece of cardboard? Why a fun little Deal called "One of the Thousand", which Devoured one of the other Investigators! Wow, ain't life grand, kids?

Since Matt had already hit the bricks, we decided to roll randomly to see who was going to get deep-throated (and not in a good way). And yep, you guessed it, Silas "Take Somebody Else, I'm Stringy!" Marsh turned out to be the Human McNugget!

Yee-fuckin'-HAW! In spite my shock, there was no time to sit around an mourn Pirate Fabio. The Doom Track was almost at its apex and we had to act fast in order to postpone the inevitable!

Since the clock hadn't quite struck "Yer Fucked" yet, I had an opportunity to grab a new character and get right back in on the action. With an inordinate amount of Cultists on the board, I decided to assume the role of N.S.A.*-whistleblower Diana Stanley:

Unfortunately, with Yog-Sothoth on the verge of meandering out into our plane of existence at any moment, I didn't have any time to ramp her up. Subsequently, after eliminating all of the dark sect opposition in Tokyo I plunged hood-first into the open Gate.

Yeah, that worked out about as well as you might imagine.

Meanwhile, as one of the other players that didn't suffer an arbitrary and unavoidable death, Jeremy had collected no less then nine different resources. Originally he wanted to help me close the Gate in Japan but he got all tied up India, presumably because he was hauling around the equivalent of three steamer trunks filled with crap.

As Charles Kane, Dean accumulated his own modest haul, including a Silver Key, a Revolver and his very own Spell-casting tome the "Cultes des Goules". Unfortunately, after getting elder-abused during a sea-bound Encounter while en route to South Africa, a Dark Pact was hung about his neck like an (un)dead albatross. At this stage in the game, I'm sure ol' Chuck was wondering why he didn't follow the example of his CEO buddies and become a source of pure evil instead of fighting against it.

Meanwhile, Dean's wife Claudia assumed the role of Trish. After a quick tutorial, she continued Matt's sound strategy of using her Arcane Scholar to get a new Spell from the Necronimicon which she then used to complete Lore Tests which she then...*whew!*...used to earn an Eldritch Token. After two quick successes, it looked as if we might, just might, complete our second Mystery Card before Yog-Sothoth reared his ugly puss.

But then things really started to fall apart. After we blew the bell off'a the top of the ol' Doom Track, Yog-Sothoth began to stretch and yawn...

A few turns later, Charles Kane had a massive coronary in South Africa, presumably after watching his first Die Antwoord video. Since this occurred after Yog-Sothoth finished his second cup of morning joe, Dean wasn't allowed to take a replacement character and was effectively out of the game for good.

My ill-prepared delve into the Pachinko Hell Gate promptly went sour, stripping me of several key Items and leaving me with a crippling Back Injury to boot. Then, in what seemed like a never-ending, coal-black running joke, this brutal Condition caused me to lose every single one of my remaining items whenever a Reckoning Phase came around. Good times. 

Needless to say, the final results were inevitable. With the Doom Track now dialed up to "11", every new occurrence added a Gate Token to Yog's card instead. After three of these unearthly portals under his fell sway, the very fabric of our reality began to fray. Thusly empowered, the Greater Old One forced its way into our realm, extinguishing all life as we know it and covering the earth in a pall of unending darkness.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!!

***

And with that, our sad, pathetic efforts to stem the inevitable tide of encroaching cosmic evil were dashed and our gnat like-existences were snuffed out like candle flames in a tornado. In other words, it was a lot like my first two plays of Arkham Horror.  

But my lingering reaction to Eldritch Horror was quite different. Here, then, is my...

REVIEW

PROS

• Like all Fantasy Flight products, the game looks absolutely gorgeous. The abstracted, moody-looking board is clear and practical. The Encounter, Mythos, Mystery, Artifact, Asset, Condition and Spell Cards are all beautifully illustrated and made of high-quality cardboard. The same goes for the tome-like Investigator Sheets. Finally, the myriad of different tokens are durable, evocative and easily-discernible. Nothing but the top marks for the production side of things.
• Jeremy did a fantastic job interpreting the rule book. Although we may have made a teensy little mistake which probably resulted in a bunch of extra Monsters hitting the board prematurely, the game as a whole clipped along rather smoothly. 
• This one isn't nearly as fiddly as its creaky parent. Eldritch Horror really benefits from eight years worth of game evolution and innovation. Whereas Arkham Horror is a bit convoluted, I retained enough of Eldritch Horror after one play (two weeks ago!) that I could probably give new players a pretty decent overview.
• That's not to say that Eldritch Horror isn't a deep, thematic experience, quite the opposite in fact. Although it's not as "RPG campaign in a box" as Arkham is, it does provide a very unique globe-trottin' experience. This is helped along by several unique Encounter Decks which feature flavorful, setting-specific Cards. Sea travel, City exploration and jaunts into the Other World are all similarly realized. This alone is enough to blow the needle right off the ol' Theme-O-Meter.  
• Like its predecessor, co-operation and team-work is essential to success, which probably accounts for our poor showing. I think we spent just a little bit too much time playing out our own little solo adventures around the board. Teaming up for Combat Encounters makes a lot of sense because lone Investigators will have a pretty rough time taking down Monsters solo. And trust me, if you get your ass kicked by one of these slimy bastards it usually means that you're gonna hafta burn a few turns getting back up to speed again. 
• I'm not sure if it was just a spate of bad luck, but man, those Mystery Cards were tough as hell. If you think that designers Corey Konieczka, Richard Launius and Nikki Valens have gone soft on us in the past eight years, think again. This one might not be as long or as complicated as Arkham, but it still generates a feeling of impending doom, which is the bread n' butter for every Lovecraft game. 
• Even though the character I'd been building up was randomly squashed though no fault of my own, I didn't flip the table. Why? Because, unlike Arkham Horror, it didn't happen in a painful, dragged-out, boring fashion. It was just *BOOM* , yer dead! How 'bout that, bitch? With certain disaster looming I just grabbed another character and jumped right back into the fray.

CONS

• Let's face it, given the bleak odds for success and a virtual guarantee that your precious Investigator will eventually go batshit nuts and/or get crushed like a gnat, this game isn't for everyone. If I'd never played Arkham Horror before, I'd be tempted to rate Eldritch Horror "4" outta "6" but since it does just about everything better in comparison, it really shines for me.

***

Not only is this game easier to get into and quicker to play, it's nowhere nearly as frustrating as it's bigger, older, hairier sibling. If you're looking for co-operative feelings of oppressive dread, Indiana Jones-style global adventure and moments of stark terror and despair, then Eldritch Horror is surely looming on your horizon. 

***

Prefer to suicide by bleeding-out slowly then incremental mercury poisoning? Click on the pic below to begin your adventure and give this poor, frightened, squishy l'il blog a modicum of hope...

*N.S.A.: Non-Shoggoth Agent