I have no ides what "Saturn in retrograde" cosmic madness led to both Funko Games and Trick or Treat Studios producing games based on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre this year, but it kinda brings to mind the following classic confrontation in the 1986 sequel:
I know I'm probably in the minority here, but I actually think Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 doesn't get enough love. If the producers of the film properly recognized the immeasurable contributions of Gunnar Hansen to the first movie and brought him back as Leatherface, I think it would have been the perfect sequel.
Sorry, I digress.
Anyhoo, rather than a-fussin' and a-feudin', I decided to pick up both games. But what if you can't? What if you have to choose between the two? Well, I'm here to compare both of them and help you make an informed decision RE: which one you should add to your bone, er, game collection.
I tackled Trick or Treat's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game last time out and on this occasion I'll be exploring the Funko Games offering: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse.
So, what's the grave-robbing scuttlebutt on this one? Well, feel free to read the following opening crawl in John Larroquette's stately voice, taken directly from the source:
One person plays as the deranged Sawyer family, dragging victims to their farmhouse and harvesting their meat for a grizzly barbecue. The other players are the unwitting trespassers, doing everything they can to escape a hideous fate. But in this game, there are no winners—there are only survivors. Will you make it out alive, or end up on the menu?
Looking for the full police report? Then click on the following rulebook link for all the gory details!
***
TURN OVERVIEW
Trespassers
(NOTE: Trespassers can take their turns in any order)
1. Take Actions
Take up to four Actions, including:
Move: Move into an adjacent space. Generate Noise if you move through a Door.
Run: Make Noise and move two spaces. For each Door you Run through, add one Noise token.
Search: In any space with a Question Mark, you can produce Noise and roll two Dice. For each Success, draw one card from the location-appropriate Item Deck. Keep one and Bury the rest at the bottom of that same deck.
Swap: Exchange any number of Items with one other Trespasser in the same space. This doesn’t generate Noise.
2. Roll two Dice.
For each success, discard one Noise Token.
3. Give Fear
Flip all remaining Noise Tokens to the Fear side and give them to the Sawyer Player.
After all Trespassers have performed their own four Actions, reset all of their Actions to four.
Sawyer Turn Overview
1. Draw Sawyer Family Cards
One or two for free, dependent on Panic Meter. Additional Cards can be purchased for two Fear apiece.
2. Take Sawyer Turns
One at a Time in any order. Possible Actions:
Move one space.
Hunt a Hidden Trespasser in your space. Roll one die and reveal the Trespasser with a Success.
Attack or perform a Character-Specific Action as detailed on their individual boards.
3. Reset Actions
Back to the Character's full amount.
***
"Who Will Survive?" Scenario "A" Play Through
Round One
Gray Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Gray Moves out into the Foyer and into the Nook, making a Noise in the process since they moved through a Door. They then Search (generating another Noise), rolling two dice and get one Slash / Success. This allows them to reveal a single card from the Downstairs Item Deck, getting Bandages, which they pocket. A Searched Token is placed in that spot.
RULES NOTE: Trespassers can only hold four Items, Personal Items don’t count towards this limit.
They then move northward into the Study and Search again, with this combo generating another two Noise. They roll zero Successes, so nothing is found!
2. Roll for Noise: One Slash rolled, so one Noise is returned.
3. Give Fear: The remaining three Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!
Blue Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Blue creeps into the Dining Room, making a Noise in the process since they moved through a Door. They then Search (generating another Noise), roll two dice but get zero Slashes / Successes. A Searched Token is placed in that space.
They then move westward, further into the Dining Room, revealing the Horror Token! It’s a "Secret Passage", which lets the Cook pop up in that space! (NOTE: a Trespasser’s “move immediately ends” when they reveal a Horror Token) The Blue Trespasser still has one Action left, so he swings at the Cook with his Pocket Knife! He gets two Slashes...and the Cook loses two Actions!
2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes are rolled, so both Noise Tokens are returned to supply!
3. Give Fear: n/a
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Green uses the creaky Stairs to move from downstairs to upstairs, which makes Noise. They then venture from this upstairs landing into the Old Man’s Room, generating Noise when they move through the Door. They then Search (making another Noise), roll two dice and get one Slash / Success, with their Flashlight adding another result! This allows them to reveal two cards from the Upstairs Item Deck, turning up Gasoline and a Bone Shard. After keeping the Gas and Burying the Shard, a Searched Token is placed in that space.
They then back out into the hall again through the Door, generating one more Noise.
2. Roll for Noise: Since no Slashes are rolled, no Noise is returned! The Sawyer Player then pays three Fear to play “Should Be More Careful.” Since the Green Trespasser had four Noise before rolling, the Panic Meter goes up by one and each (!!!) Trespasser draws a Desperation Card!
3. Give Fear: Four Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!
Sawyer Player
1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.
2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man tries a Wallop on the Blue Trespasser, but misses! Since he only has one Action left, he tries again! This time he scores two hits, drawing a Head and Arm injury. He opts for the Head, forcing the Blue Trespasser to throw out their “Through Broken Glass” Desperation Card!
3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.
ROUND TWO
Grey Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Grey inches into the northern side of the Study, through the Door (making a Noise in the process) and into the Wash Room. In reaction to this, the Sawyer player spends two Fear to table “Unexpected Horrors”, dropping an unused Horror Tile onto their space, which turns out to be “Putrid.” They’re forced to “go back one space”, which I interpret to mean that they have to go back the way they came, I.E. into the Study. I also assume it generates another Noise when they go back through the Door. Since they only moved one space, they still have three Actions left, so they exhaust this to cross the other half of the Study, through the Nook and finally back into the Foyer. This generates two more Noise!
2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes are rolled, so no Noise Tokens are returned to supply!
3. Give Fear: The remaining three are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!
Blue Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Blue once again attempts to shiv the Old Man with his Pocket Knife. He rolls one Slash, so his target loses one Action. He then flees into the Kitchen for an Action, with passage through the Door making a Noise. They then Move into the western half of the Kitchen and Search (generating another Noise). After rolling two dice and getting one Slash / Success, they turn up a phreakin’ Machete!!! Finally, a Searched Token is placed in that space.
2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes are rolled, so both Noise Tokens stay!
3. Give Fear: They're flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: From the hall, Green uses their first Action to move into Leatherface’s Room (generating a Noise) and then uses another Action to Search (for a second Noise). They get a single Slash, but the Flashlight adds one additional Success! A Flask and Gasoline is revealed, so they keep the Flask and Bury the Gas. The Sawyers shift a Searched Token from the Dining Room to that spot. In response, the Green Trespasser plays “Scrounge” which lets them get a free Item from the Upstairs Deck if there’s a Searched Token present! By some good fortune, they reveal and pick up a Green Car Battery!!!
For their third Action they leave that room and enter the hall, generating a third Noise. Action four sees them move into the southern part of the hallway. Continuing this momentum, they drink from the Flask to get a free Action and use it to move into Grandpa’s Room, which adds a fourth Noise. Since there’s a Hide symbol in that room, the Green Trespasser immediate goes into stealth mode. In response to this, the Sawyer player tables “Skeletons in the Closet” for two Fear to raise the Panic Meter! This adds Grandpa to any space in the house, so the Sawyers place him in the southern half of his own room!
2. Roll for Noise: Three Slashes are rolled, so only one Noise remains!
3. Give Fear: One Token is flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!
Sawyer Player
1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free. They then spend two Fear to pick up another!
2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man moves into and through the Kitchen for two Actions and then uses his last Action to try and Wallop the Blue Trespasser. They get a single Slash, augmented by one because of the "Bloody" room! After drawing a Heart and Leg injury, they decide to go for the Heart!
3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.
ROUND THREE
Grey Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Intent on scouting the house surroundings for a working vehicle, Grey Moves out onto the porch, generating a Noise in the process. Then they move onto the path space leading up to the front door and strike off two spaces east.
2. Roll for Noise: They roll a Slash, so the single Token is returned!
3. Give Fear: n/a
Blue Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Blue hacks at the Old Man with his Machete! They roll three Slashes (!!!), so the Cook loses three Actions and three Fear! He then flees into the backyard through the Door, making Noise in the process. Next they Move one space east and through the Barn entrance, generating another Noise. In response, the Old Man plays “Unexpected Horrors” for two Fear. It reveals “Picked Clean”, which moves a Searched Token from the Old Man’s Room to the Barn! He’d love to play “Out of Nowhere” for four Fear, but they aren't in the same Region, with Blue “Outdoors” and the Old Man still “Downstairs” in the House.
2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes rolled, so both Noise Tokens stay!
3. Give Fear: Both Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Green emerges from their Hiding place and risks moving close to creepy Grandpa for an Action. Thinking that this interloper is intent on his stash of Pokemon cards, the crusty ol' fuck rolls one die and gets a blank...no damage! Green then uses their second Action to Search in the same spot, making Noise. They get one Slash...but the Flashlight adds one additional Success! They get a Flask and an Orange Car Part, so they hedge their bet, keep the wheel and Bury the Flask. This prompts the Sawyers to move a Searched Token from the Study to that same space. She then moves north one space and out the Door for two more Actions, adding a second Noise.
2. Roll for Noise: One Slash is rolled, so only one Noise is remains!
3. Give Fear: One Noise Token is flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!
Sawyer Player
1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free then pay two Fear for a bonus card!
2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his one remaining Action to chase after Blue. He then discards “Look What Your Brother Did!” for a free Move Action to get in front of the Barn Door. After discarding “Despair” for another Move, he then chucks out “Out of Nowhere” for a free Attack Action. The resulting Wallop dials up two Slashes, but Blue lucks out when the Old Man reveals a Brain and a Heart Injury, both of which get Buried!
3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.
ROUND FOUR
Grey Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Grey uses all of their Actions to enter the Junkyard, generating a single Noise. Whenever a Trespasser ends their Move or Run in the same space with a face-down Vehicle Card, they reveal it. It turns out to be the Blue Truck!
2. Roll for Noise: They roll two Slashes, so the single Token is returned!
3. Give Fear: n/a
Blue Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Blue lashes out at the Old Man with his Machete! He rolls an insane three Slashes (!!!), so the decrepit creep loses three Actions and three Fear! He then flees out the front door, making Noise in the process and then barrels east for his third Action. For his final Action, he Runs into the Junkyard with Grey, generating two more Noise, one for the Action and one for the Door.
2. Roll for Noise: With one Slash rolled two Noise Tokens stay!
3. Give Fear: Two Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers! As Blue ends its turn, the Cook pays four Fear to play “Out of Nowhere” (since they are now all in the same “region”) and basically teleports to the Junkyard.
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Green Moves into the Hitchhiker’s Room for an Action, making Noise as the Door creaks open. For her second Action, she rifles around the room, netting “BBQ” and a Hammer. She keeps the latter and Buries the mystery meat. After using her third Action to Move one space deeper into the creepy boudoir, she makes Noise with her final Action to Search, turning up a whopping three Slashes! This lets her chose between Orange Keys, a Bone Shard, Gasoline and a Flask. She takes the Keys and Buries all the rest, including the Green Car Part. Both of the spaces in this room are now covered with Searched Tokens taken from the first floor of the house. Since this space has the Hidden Icon, Green vanishes into darkness!
2. Roll for Noise: Three Slashes are rolled, so all of the Noise is returned!
3. Give Fear: No Fear for the Sawyers!
Sawyer Player
1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.
2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his one remaining Action to Wallop Blue, but he rolls blanks on both die! He then discards “Home Sweet Home” for a Free Attack Action, rolls again...and whiffs again!
3. Devoid of both Fear and - apparently - luck, the Sawyer player folds for the time being, resetting their Actions to four.
ROUND FIVE
Grey Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Grey uses an Action to move into the other half of the Junkyard. Unfortunately, there's no Vehicle there, just a Search-able spot. They then use two more Actions to Run through the Junkyard through the Door, making two Noise. Their last Action is spent arriving at the Vehicle space to the east of the property. By a stroke of good fortune they reveal the Orange Car!
2. Roll for Noise: They roll two blanks, so no Tokens are returned!
3. Give Fear: Both Fear Tokens go to the Sawyer Player!
Blue Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Blue swings at the Old Man with his Machete and rolls two Slashes, forcing the Cook to lose two Actions as well as the Fear he just received! After fleeing out the front door (making Noise en route) he then uses his third Action to Run towards the Orange Car in the southeast. His last Action is ignored.
2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes rolled, so two Noise Tokens are returned!
3. Give Fear: n/a
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Green emerges from Hiding, Runs two spaces into the upstairs hall for two Actions, generating two Noise. She then Moves to the Stairs for one Action and then down the Stairs for their last Action, making one more Noise.
2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes are rolled, so all but one Noise is returned!
3. Give Fear: One Fear for the Sawyers!
Sawyer Player
1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.
2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his two Actions to close in on Blue and Gray. Discards “I Got Ya” for a free Move Action, entering their space.
3. The Sawyer player resets his Actions.
ROUND SIX
Grey Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Grey spends an Action to use their Bandages to Bury Blue’s Brain Injury. Next they use the Swap Action to take the Pocket Knife from Blue! Finally they use an Attack Action to stab at the Cook, getting one Slash, so the Old Man reduces his Actions down to three!
2. Roll for Noise: n/a
3. Give Fear: n/a
Blue Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Blue lunges wildly at the Old Man with his Machete, rolling one Slash. The Cook loses one Action and his remaining Fear! He then holds his three remaining Actions.
2. Roll for Noise: n/a
3. Give Fear: n/a
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Green bursts through the front door of the house via a Run, generating two Noise. She then Runs towards the Orange Car, making a third Noise, using a final Move action to reach the Vehicle and their fellow Trespassers. Their last Action is wasted since it takes two Actions to try and start the car!
2. Roll for Noise: One Slash is rolled, so one Noise is returned!
3. Give Fear: Two Fear is given to the Sawyers!
Sawyer Player
1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.
2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his Sweet Talk Ability to roll three Dice, getting two Slashes which equals two Fear. He does this again with his final Action, getting two more Slashes for two more Fear. He then discards "Easy Pickins", spends six Fear and raises the Panic Meter by one! This finally brings the Hitchhiker into the southeast corner of the map, one space away from the Orange Car!
3. The Sawyer player resets his Actions.
ROUND SEVEN
Grey Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Grey uses an Attack Action to stab at the Cook and rolls two Slashes, so the Old Man reduces his Actions down to two! After using the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Green, he uses his last two Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a blank!
2. Roll for Noise: n/a
3. Give Fear: n/a
Blue Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Blue hacks away at the Old Man with his Machete! He rolls three Slashes, so the Cook loses his remaining Actions. He has no Fear right now, so that penalty doesn’t even apply. After using the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Gray, he then uses his two remaining Actions to try and Start the Car, but - once again - rolls a blank!
2. Roll for Noise: n/a
3. Give Fear: n/a
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Green uses the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Gray. She then uses two more Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a blank! FFS!!!
2. Roll for Noise: n/a
3. Give Fear: n/a
Sawyer Player
1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.
2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man might be out of Actions, but he plays “Home Sweet Home” for a free Wallop on Blue! Unfortunately he pulls two Brains and a Heart... duplicate Injuries which are all Buried! He decides on a different tactic, playing Despair to get a free Move action and using Hogtie to haul Green out of the car one space north!
The Hitchhiker moves one space for an Action and joins the fray, slashing at Blue with his Straight Razor with his second Action. He gets a Brain, a Foot and an Arm, so he applies the Foot Injury. For his last Action he slashes again...getting three more Slashes!!! This time it’s a Brain, a Heart and an Arm. Naturally, the Hiker picks the Arm, killing Blue and increasing the Panic Meter by one! Both Gray and Green get a Desperation Card!
3. The Sawyers reset their Actions.
ROUND EIGHT
(NOTE: Trespassers can take turns in any order!)
Green Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Green uses one Action to break away from the Hogtie and get back into the car! He then uses two Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a f#@&ing blank! Again!!!
2. Roll for Noise: n/a
3. Give Fear: n/a
Grey Trespasser
1. Take Actions: Grey uses a Swap Action to pick up the Machete and attack the Hitchhiker. He gets two Slashes, so the Hiker reduces his Actions down to one! He then uses the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Green, then his uses his last two Actions to try and Start the Car.
This time he rolls one Slash and the car's engine finally turns over! They speed away, leaving the livid Sawyers in the dust!
Green and Gray escape!!!
***
REVIEW
THE GOOD
- It's innovative! There are so many clever ideas on display here, all adding up to a tense and immersive horror game. The first edition of Zombicide is the first time I encountered the concept of "noise" in a game, but its use there seemed more ham-fisted than harrowing. Here, adding Noise Tokens from Searching, Running and passing through Doors, and then trying to offset said Noise, is actually kinda fun. What remains is flipped to Fear which, in turn, is the currency the villains use to play cards and get extra Actions. It's simple but brilliant! Using a finite pool of five Search Tokens also prevents spamming the same spot over and over again with an elegant "cool down" system.
- It's thematic! I can't describe how many little touches from the film are baked right into the game's mechanics. For example: the Old Man can "Hogtie" Characters and drag them away, but then the Trespassers can break away on their own turn, just like Sally did during the movie's dinner scene. I also love seeing Trespassers try and creep past a dead-looking Grandpa, only to have him "come to" and vulpine hammer them in the noggin. All of the Items, especially the Personal Items, work in a very sensible intuitive manner and the Injury / Death card system is appropriately gruesome.
- It's tense! I've only played the first scenario twice, but both times came down to a panic-filled finale where the Trespassers were frantically trying to start the car with a pair of lunatics bearing down on them. Sorry, but certain horror movie cliches exist for a reason and this game celebrates that!
- It's narrative! All of the scenarios link together, essentially acting as a prequel to the 1974 film! Hey, all of those abandoned cars and human remains had to come from somewhere...clearly these previous Trespassers didn't have that patented Sally Hardesty's will to live!
- It's final! As I've previously mentioned, horror games like Alien: Fate of the Nostromo really suffer because it eschews player elimination. Welp, this one actually had the balls to follow through on that premise and - for that - I give the designers a respectful * slow clap*.
- It's mad and macabre! The Horror Tokens - as well as the game's grisly production design - really set the tone. Sure, the art in the Trick or Treat studios version is wonderful but, save for the hideous bag prop, it isn't particularly horrifying. This game's artwork, board, Sawyer minis, Panic Meter, Desperation Cards, Injuries...hell, even the friggin' dice...all adds up to a psychologically-discordant experience. Honestly, the only game that's more unconsciously creepy is the 70's version of Clue.
- It's engaging! Whereas the Trick or Treat studios game is more light strategic, this one is downright tactical, with a lot more minutia to consider. Which Trespasser should take their turn first? Should you split up? Should I seek out Hiding spots? How do I deal with Injuries? The Sawyers are equally challenged. Should I burn Sawyer Cards for extra Actions and Attacks or try and time things perfectly for their main game effect? Should I drive the Panic Meter for reinforcements or just multi-task with the Old Man? There are a lot of interesting and surprisingly immersive choices here.
- It's snappy! Turns fly by and using cubes to count down Actions really helps to keep things organized and clipping along!
- Nothing to report...at least not at this stage. My only niggling concern is over game balance. In my solitaire play through, the Machete kept the Sawyers Fear-poor and the Cook couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a shovel, resulting in two of the three Trespassers getting out alive. In my follow up game with Chad, all three Trespassers survived. Now, that's not entirely surprising, since Chad's a wily dude and he also started the car on his first attempt! As I get a few more plays in, I'll be sure to update this space.
- The Trespassers (and their lame, one-sided standees) are completely generic and have no asymmetrical powers to speak of, which will surely disappoint hard-core gamers. Given my theory that this game is actually the spiritual prequel to the 1974 film, I just view the Slaughterhouse Trespassers as generic walking sausage links, while The Board Game features the iconic characters we all know and love!
- From this day hence, my meta-game is just to get Leatherface out on the board. I really tried to drive the Panic Meter in my game against Chad, but Ol' Junior still didn't show his apron-ed ass on the battlefield. And, trust me, there a lot of motivation to get him out there since he's exactly the sort of murderous juggernaut that you'd expect him to be.
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