Cookies Not Included..."Star Wars Villainous"

Disney Villainous kinda surprised me. Up until recently, 99.9% of intellectual property board games were such hot trash that it left fans of said IP feeling skeptical of the entire gaming industry. Needless to say, when I discovered how comparatively deep Disney Villainous was, I was pleasantly shocked.

As such, when they released a Star Wars version, I was all over it!

In this particular iteration, players take on the role of either Asajj Ventress, General Grievous, Moff Gideon, Darth Vader or Kylo "I'm-The-Best-Thing-About-This-Shitty-Sequel-Trilogy" Ren. The "Revenge at Last" expansion has since added Darth Maul (*yawn*) and Captain Phasma (*double yawn*) while "Scum and Villainy" brought us Boba Fett as well as the Seventh Sister from Rebels and one of my favorite Clone Wars era characters: Cad Bane. 

Each villain has their own unique objectives of varying difficulty. For example, Vader has to make his boi Luke "Conflicted", lure him to the the Emperor’s Throne Room and then complete his conversion to the Dark Side by paying 6 Ambition while both Papi Vader and Palpatine look on. Meanwhile, all Grievous needs to do is put eight Jedi Knights in the dirt and*'yoink* their lightsabers. 

After collecting one free Ambition per turn, players further their schemes by moving to a new Location on their Sector boards and then performing the actions depicted there in any order they want. These actions include:

• Collecting Credits.
• Using said Credits to play Allies, Vehicles and other helpful cards.
• Taking powerful Ambition actions.
• Discarding to hopefully top-deck the cards required to complete your win conditions.
• Using a Fate Action to throw a monkey wrench into their opponent's plans. 
• Moving Allies around.
• Vanquishing pesky Heroes with those aforementioned Allies.

Players keep taking actions until someone fulfills their objective!

Looking for info beyond the title crawl? Well, just plug your astro-member (?) into the following scomp link to get the full technical readouts of this particular battle station!  

***

PLAY-THROUGH

Darth Vader versus Moff Gideon 

versus Boba Fett!

Turn One - Darth Vader

Collects one Ambition (1). 

After jetting off to his summer home on Mustafar, Vader collects 3 Credits (3). There's nothing to Vanquish so he Discards "Imperial Officers" and then targets Moff Gideon with a Fate Action. After pulling "The Bounty" and "Bo-Katan Kryze", he opts to play the latter at Nevarro City. 

To signal the end of his turn he draws a Card and then passes the turn. 

At the end of Turn One Vader has 1 Ambition and 3 Credits.

Turn One - Moff Gideon

Collects an Ambition (1).

He moves to Tython, collects 2 Credits (started with one) and then pays 3 to Play his "Outland TIE Fighter" into Deep Space. Vanquish is ignored, but he does Discard three cards, hoping to kick-start his plot.  

To end his turn, Moff Gideon draws 4 new cards!

At the end of Turn One Gideon has 1 Ambition and 0 Credits. 

Turn One - Boba Fett 

Collects one Ambition (1). 

After strutting onto the Executor Bridge, THE FETT collects 3 Credits, bringing him up to 5 (he started with 2). Doesn’t do any Ambition action or Play a Card but he does Fate Vader. Plays "May the Force be With You" (over "The Force is Strong With this One") and Vader loses his one and only Ambition (0)!

At the end of Turn One, Fett has 1 Ambition and 5 Credits. 

Turn Two - Darth Vader

Picks up one Ambition (1). 

Vader pops into the Death Star and gains two Credits (5). He doesn't perform an Ambition Action or Play a Card but he does turf "Friends in Trouble" and "The Power of the Dark Side", hoping to produce the cards he needs.

*** CONDITION *** 

In reaction to Vader's Discard, Gideon plays “Long Live the Empire”, shuffles his discard pile into his deck and gains one Ambition (2)!

Vader then draws two new cards…but they're the exact same cards that he just threw out! 

* facepalm *

At the conclusion of Turn Two Vader has 1 Ambition and 5 Credits.

Turn Two - Moff Gideon 

Gains one Ambition (3). 

After crawling into the cockpit of his TIE Fighter, Gideon doesn’t do any of the actions, but he does activate the Vehicle’s Special Ability. He draws until he gets Koska Reeves, which he plays at the Old Imperial Base with a -1 Strength. 

As per the rules: now that he’s finished revealing cards, those cards are added to the Discard Pile then this discard pile is shuffled back into the deck!

Gideon ends his turn by drawing a single card.

Gideon's Turn Two Tallies: Ambition 3 Credits 0

Turn Two - Boba Fett 

Collects one Ambition (2). 

Fett arrives on Corelia and gains a single Credit (6). He then Plays Dengar in Jabba’s Palace for two Credits (4) and Discards 4-LOM. 

He completes his turn by drawing two new cards.

At the end of two turns, Fett has 2 Ambition and 4 Credits.  

Turn Three - Darth Vader

 Vader picks up a new Ambition, bringing him back up to two. 

He travels to Mustafar, gaining three Credits (8). No need to Vanquish, but he does Fate Monsieur Fett. Han Solo appears in Corelia and Dengar switches over to the Hero side at Jabba’s Palace! With no cards in hand to advance his objectives, he Discards "Friends in Trouble" and "The Power of the Dark Side."

The Dark Lord of the Sith refills his hand to 4 cards.

Vader Turn Three Tallies include 2 Ambition and 8 (!) Credits. 

Turn Three - Moff Gideon 

Gets his fourth Ambition!

The not-so-good Moff Moves to Tython, gets two Credits (2), Plays a Stormtrooper for one Credit at the Old Imperial Base then does a Vanquish Action. They defeat Koska Reeves but are killed in the process. He then Discards "You Have Something I Want." 

Gideon Draws two new Cards, taking him back up to four. 

At the end of Turn Three, Gideon has 4 Ambition and a single Credit. 

Turn Three - Boba Fett 

He gains an Ambition (3)!

After returning to the Executor Bridge, Boba performs a free Ambition Action: "Waiting on the Next Job." He shuffles his Discard pile back into his draw deck then pulls 3 new cards. He then accepts 3 more Credits, bringing him up to 7. He doesn’t Play a Card but he does Fate Vader, playing "Obi-Wan Kenobi" (over "More Powerful Than You Can Possibly Imagine") and forces L'il Orphan Annie to turf his entire hand! Yikes! 

NOTE: if you draw extra Villain cards I presume you don't have to discard down to 4 at the end of your turn? 

Fett’s Turn Three resource count: 3 Ambition and a whopping 7 Credits.

Turn Four - Darth Vader

He picks up an Ambition, bringing him to 3. 

With no cards in hand, there aren’t a lot of options! So he zooms off to Cloud City, ignores the option to Play a Card or perform an Ambition Action and continues his Fate war with Fett. "Leia" is played in the same place as Han and a bonus card is played off the top of the Fate Deck…it’s "Luke"! He’s played in Corelia as well…cuz why not? Vader then picks up a single Credit from that location, bringing him up to a whopping 9!

Vader refills his empty hand back up to 4 cards.

Going into the end of Turn Four, Vader has 3 Ambition and 9 Credits. 

Turn Four - Moff Gideon

He picks up one Ambition for a total of five. 

He then goes to the Old Imperial Base and snags 2 Credits for a total of 3. He then plays "Dark Troopers" at Nevarro City for 3 Credits (0) and opts out of the Ambition or Maneuver options.

Gideon draws a new card.

His Turn Four Tallies include 5 Ambition and zero Credits.

Turn Four - Boba Fett

Fett gets an Ambition, bringing him up to 4!

He flies to Corellia, ignores the Vanquish Action but Discards 3 cards. 

He draws one card…Zuckuss. 

Fett's Turn resources include 4 Ambition and 7 Credits.      

Turn Five - Darth Vader

Vader collects one Ambition (4).

He moves to the Emperor's Throne Room, oversees the launch of The Executor for 3 Credits and then takes an Ambition Action to play Palpatine in his Throne Room for free. 

Two cards are drawn to signal the end of his turn. 

At the end of turn five, Vader has 4 Ambition and 6 Credits.

Turn Five - Gideon 

Picks up one Ambition (6).

He then moves to Tython, collecting 2 Credits (2). He does a Vanquish Acton and his Dark Troopers are sacrificed to defeat Bo-Katan. 

*** CONDITION *** 

In response to a Hero being defeated, Vader plays “You Are Not a Jedi Yet” and Luke becomes “Conflicted.” 

After passing on the option to Play a Card, Gideon then Discards, throwing out "Experimentation" and "Long Live the Empire."  

Gideon’s Turn Five assets include 6 Ambition and 2 Credits. 

Turn Five - Boba Fett 

The bounty hunter picks up an Ambition (5).

After arriving on the Executor Bridge, he gains 3 Credits (9) and then pays 4 to Play Zuckuss to Jabba’s Palace, juiced with +1 Power because Dengar is a Bounty Hunter. The subsequent Vanquish Action wipes out both mercs! The Ambition action is ignored.

Fett draws a new card.   

His Turn Four tallies include 5 Ambition and 5 Credits.

Turn Six - Darth Vader

Vader scores one Ambition (5).      

The Dark Lord of the Sith visits the Executor. He performs an Ambition action, spending 1 (4) to play “Join Us or Die” to shift Luke one space towards the Throne Room. Next he Plays "Imperial Officers" to the Death Star for 2 Credits (4). Finally he attempts a Fate Action on Gideon, but neither "The Bounty" nor "Self-Protection" can be played so they are discarded. 

The Executor’s special ability triggers, resulting in R2-D2 appearing in Cloud City. (NOTE: Vehicle Abilities technically trigger first.)

Vader draws two new cards.  

His Turn Six assets include 4 each of Ambition and Credits.

Turn Six - Moff Gideon 

He collects an Ambition and now has a whopping 7!

Off to the Imperial Base! He collects 2 Credits (4) and then Plays an "Imperial Light Cruiser" for 3 Credits (1). He ignores the Maneuver and Ambition options.

Draws a new card to get up to 4.

Gideon’s end-of-Turn-Six Ambition is 7 and he has 1 Credit.  

Turn Six - Boba Fett 

Boba collects one Ambition, bringing him up to 6.

Arriving in Cloud City, Fett uses an Ambition Action to play “Waiting on the Next Job.” He cycles his discards back into his draw deck and then pulls three new cards…but he still doesn’t have a Contact yet! 

Having gotten precious few playable cards so far this game, Fett now has a hoard of 6 Ambition and 6 Credits.

Turn Seven - Darth Vader

Vader gets an Ambition (5).

The Sith Lord moves to the Emperor’s Throne Room and does an Ambition Action: “I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing.” This strangles the Imperial Officer at the Death Star and nets Vader 2 Ambition! He then Plays Imperial Stormtroopers at Cloud City. The subsequent Vanquish action turfs both the Troopers and R2! The loss of R2 inspires a conflicted Luke to move into the Emperor’s Throne Room. 

Vader then pays 6 of his current 7 Ambition to win the game! 

***

REVIEW

PROS

• Overall, the game's graphic design is decent. I sincerely like the Sector Boards and the look of the cards.  
• Like its Disney counterpart, this game is surprisingly deep. Regardless of what you think about it, it's no flyweight throwaway title. There's actually a fair amount of strategy RE: what you need to accomplish on your next turn and the most efficient  location to help you do it.
• Thematically it has its moments. When your plans start coming together, it does feel as if you're working your way towards some grand scheme. The Fate decks are also a cool reminder that you are still a galactic scumbag with the forces of good out to foil you.
• The varying difficulty between Villain objectives certainly aren't created equal, but it’s actually a great way for experienced players introduce noobs to the game. Since the goals are highly asymmetrical, it's critically important that all players read their Villain Guides out loud before play begins to lock in those win conditions and signal to your opponents when you're close to victory.  
• Mechanically its pretty easy: just move to a location and take actions in whatever order you want.

CONS  

• Sadly Star Wars Villainous kinda boils down to how quickly you can cycle through your deck for the cards you need. My playthrough really illustrates what annoys me about the game: despite a loss of Ambition and forced discards, Vader lucked into a fortuitous early combination of circumstances and assets. Meanwhile, both Gideon and Fett failed to accomplish anything of merit after six phreakin' turns - despite cycling through their decks pretty aggressively! Even after playing through a full game I can't appraise Boba Fett's worth as a character. Instead of knitting together some Machiavellian scheme, half the time you're pulling your hair out, making agonizing decisions about which cards to keep and which ones to chuck out. You're constantly thinking: 'Okay, eventually I'm really gonna need this card I've got in my hand...but I can't even play it until I unearth and play a prerequisite card first!' If you're struggling with this and your opponents are mercilessly Fate-ing you, anger will most definitely lead to hate, suffering...yoda, yoda, yoda....     
• There’s a lot of nit-picky, easy-to-miss rules to remember. Arguably even more so in this version of Villainous 'cuz Vehicles give players even more options while threatening to curtail a rival’s hand size.
• For all that's holy, I really wish the designers had found a better way to distinguish Credits and Ambition. First off, it sucks that the game has two different types of currency to keep track of. It's way too easy to mix up the Ambition / Credit cost on cards, the Ambition / Credit tokens themselves and what Locations let you play one card over another. There had to be a better way!  
• Speaking of confusing: a lot of the Villain Card verbiage runs contrary to established industry standards / common sense. For example: since Conditions are played in response to an opponent's action why not call them something different? Like, I dunno...maybe "REACTIONS"???   
• The art is a mixed bag for me. If I didn't know any better I'd say the graphics design team just slapped an art filter over a bunch of movie stills and / or poached frames right from the animated shows.  
• There are some real "chicken-or-the-egg" vagaries between card text. For example: the "Revenge" Bounty requires you to find and place a Bounty Hunter in the Hero side of the Sector. Well, what if the first Bounty Hunter you pull is "Greedo" who can't be placed in the Hero section?  
• The movers suck. I know they were going for some "battle-worn" statue crap, but I really wish they'd given us something swanky like the pewter figs which came with Star Wars Monopoly or the Clash of the Lightsabers card game. I mean check out V here: it looks like a flying mynock took a crap all over his helmet:

Thematic, yet overly-fiddly and periodically frustrating, Star Wars Villainous scores three pips out of six with a slight tilt up towards Trump Palpatine Tower. 

***

BONUS: Rules Clarifications / Reminders

• Asajj can use an Ambition Action and pay Ambition equal to the number of face-up Mission Cards to reveal a new Mission. The other Missions remain active. If two Missions have the same tasks, you can only play an Ambition Token on only one of the Missions once completed.
• If a Mission Card asks you to find and place Fate cards, their “when played” game effect is not triggered, because the card was technically "placed" and not "played." However, any other effects do work as normal. For example: Anakin Skywalker’s Hero Card indicates that “Allies at Anakin’s location get -1 Strength”, so this would still apply. They also still cover up the top two Action options as per normal.
• Place an Ambition Token on Asajj’s missions as she completes her progress.  Once the mission is complete, collect the Ambition tokens that have been accumulating.
• When prompted to "find a card or card type" first check to see if it’s already in play, then relocate it if instructed. If it’s not there then look for it in the discard pile and if not there, reveal cards from the appropriate deck.
• If you do need to Reveal Cards from your deck, flip them up so everyone can see. Once the cards are located, put them in play and then shuffle the discard pile back into its appropriate deck.  
• Remember: "Effects" are played on your turn, trigger their game text and are then discarded. "Conditions" are played in response to an opponent's Action, have their game effect and are then discarded.  
• Location actions can be performed in any order you wish and any are optional.
• “Sector” refers to your entire board while “Location” is a specific space.
• Although a Hero’s Strength can be reduced to zero their effects are still active.
• When played, Fate Hero Vehicles immediate engage your vehicles. If you play a Vehicle in Deep Space and there’s already a Hero Vehicle there, you either choose to Engage it or not Engage it.
• The only cards that can be played with the Play a Card action are those with a credit cost in the upper left hand corner. You can only play one card per action taken.
• Any number of Vehicles can be in Deep Space at once.
• You can use a Maneuver action to move one Ally to a different location or Engage or Disengage Vehicles.
• You can use a Fate Action to Engage a Fate Deck Vehicle with an Ally Vehicle. NOTE: you can't draw and play Fate Cards if you do this.
• You can only target a single Hero card with a Vanquish Action. A Vanquish Action can also be used to discard two Engaged Vehicles.
• Every un-engaged Hero Vehicles in Deep Space limits the number of cards you draw back up to. For example, if you have two un-engaged Hero Vehicles, you can only draw back up to two cards.    

Chainsaw Battle - Part Two - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse

I have no ides what "Saturn in retrograde" cosmic madness led to both Funko Games and Trick or Treat Studios producing games based on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre this year, but it kinda brings to mind the following classic confrontation in the 1986 sequel: 

I know I'm probably in the minority here, but I actually think Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 doesn't get enough love. If the producers of the film properly recognized the immeasurable contributions of Gunnar Hansen to the first movie and brought him back as Leatherface, I think it would have been the perfect sequel.

Sorry, I digress.

Anyhoo, rather than a-fussin' and a-feudin', I decided to pick up both games. But what if you can't? What if you have to choose between the two? Well, I'm here to compare both of them and help you make an informed decision RE: which one you should add to your bone, er, game collection.

I tackled Trick or Treat's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game last time out and on this occasion I'll be exploring the Funko Games offering: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse. 

So, what's the grave-robbing scuttlebutt on this one? Well, feel free to read the following opening crawl in John Larroquette's stately voice, taken directly from the source:

One person plays as the deranged Sawyer family, dragging victims to their farmhouse and harvesting their meat for a grizzly barbecue. The other players are the unwitting trespassers, doing everything they can to escape a hideous fate. But in this game, there are no winners—there are only survivors. Will you make it out alive, or end up on the menu? 

Looking for the full police report? Then click on the following rulebook link for all the gory details! 

***

TURN OVERVIEW

Trespassers

(NOTE: Trespassers can take their turns in any order)

1. Take Actions

Take up to four Actions, including:

Move: Move into an adjacent space. Generate Noise if you move through a Door.

Run: Make Noise and move two spaces. For each Door you Run through, add one Noise token.

Search: In any space with a Question Mark, you can produce Noise and roll two Dice. For each Success, draw one card from the location-appropriate Item Deck. Keep one and Bury the rest at the bottom of that same deck.

Swap: Exchange any number of Items with one other Trespasser in the same space. This doesn’t generate Noise.

2. Roll two Dice. 

For each success, discard one Noise Token.

3. Give Fear 

Flip all remaining Noise Tokens to the Fear side and give them to the Sawyer Player.

After all Trespassers have performed their own four Actions, reset all of their Actions to four.   

Sawyer Turn Overview

1. Draw Sawyer Family Cards 

One or two for free, dependent on Panic Meter. Additional Cards can be purchased for two Fear apiece.

2. Take Sawyer Turns

One at a Time in any order. Possible Actions:

Move one space.

Hunt a Hidden Trespasser in your space. Roll one die and reveal the Trespasser with a Success. 

Attack or perform a Character-Specific Action as detailed on their individual boards. 

3. Reset Actions 

Back to the Character's full amount.   

***

"Who Will Survive?" Scenario "A" Play Through

Round One

Gray Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Gray Moves out into the Foyer and into the Nook, making a Noise in the process since they moved through a Door. They then Search (generating another Noise), rolling two dice and get one Slash / Success. This allows them to reveal a single card from the Downstairs Item Deck, getting Bandages, which they pocket. A Searched Token is placed in that spot. 

RULES NOTE: Trespassers can only hold four Items, Personal Items don’t count towards this limit. 

They then move northward into the Study and Search again, with this combo generating another two Noise. They roll zero Successes, so nothing is found! 

2. Roll for Noise: One Slash rolled, so one Noise is returned. 

3. Give Fear: The remaining three Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue creeps into the Dining Room, making a Noise in the process since they moved through a Door. They then Search (generating another Noise), roll two dice but get zero Slashes / Successes. A Searched Token is placed in that space. 

They then move westward, further into the Dining Room, revealing the Horror Token! It’s a "Secret Passage", which lets the Cook pop up in that space! (NOTE: a Trespasser’s “move immediately ends” when they reveal a Horror Token)  The Blue Trespasser still has one Action left, so he swings at the Cook with his Pocket Knife! He gets two Slashes...and the Cook loses two Actions!

2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes are rolled, so both Noise Tokens are returned to supply! 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green uses the creaky Stairs to move from downstairs to upstairs, which makes Noise. They then venture from this upstairs landing into the Old Man’s Room, generating Noise when they move through the Door. They then Search (making another Noise), roll two dice and get one Slash / Success, with their Flashlight adding another result! This allows them to reveal two cards from the Upstairs Item Deck, turning up Gasoline and a Bone Shard. After keeping the Gas and Burying the Shard, a Searched Token is placed in that space. 

They then back out into the hall again through the Door, generating one more Noise.  

2. Roll for Noise: Since no Slashes are rolled, no Noise is returned! The Sawyer Player then pays three Fear to play “Should Be More Careful.” Since the Green Trespasser had four Noise before rolling, the Panic Meter goes up by one and each (!!!) Trespasser draws a Desperation Card!  

3. Give Fear: Four Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free. 

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man tries a Wallop on the Blue Trespasser, but misses! Since he only has one Action left, he tries again! This time he scores two hits, drawing a Head and Arm injury. He opts for the Head, forcing the Blue Trespasser to throw out their “Through Broken Glass” Desperation Card!   

3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.   

ROUND TWO

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey inches into the northern side of the Study, through the Door (making a Noise in the process) and into the Wash Room. In reaction to this, the Sawyer player spends two Fear to table “Unexpected Horrors”, dropping an unused Horror Tile onto their space, which turns out to be “Putrid.” They’re forced to “go back one space”, which I interpret to mean that they have to go back the way they came, I.E. into the Study. I also assume it generates another Noise when they go back through the Door. Since they only moved one space, they still have three Actions left, so they exhaust this to cross the other half of the Study, through the Nook and finally back into the Foyer. This generates two more Noise! 

2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes are rolled, so no Noise Tokens are returned to supply! 

3. Give Fear: The remaining three are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue once again attempts to shiv the Old Man with his Pocket Knife. He rolls one Slash, so his target loses one Action. He then flees into the Kitchen for an Action, with passage through the Door making a Noise. They then Move into the western half of the Kitchen and Search (generating another Noise). After rolling two dice and getting one Slash / Success, they turn up a phreakin’ Machete!!! Finally, a Searched Token is placed in that space. 

2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes are rolled, so both Noise Tokens stay!

3. Give Fear: They're flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: From the hall, Green uses their first Action to move into Leatherface’s Room (generating a Noise) and then uses another Action to Search (for a second Noise). They get a single Slash, but the Flashlight adds one additional Success! A Flask and Gasoline is revealed, so they keep the Flask and Bury the Gas. The Sawyers shift a Searched Token from the Dining Room to that spot. In response, the Green Trespasser plays “Scrounge” which lets them get a free Item from the Upstairs Deck if there’s a Searched Token present! By some good fortune, they reveal and pick up a Green Car Battery!!! 

For their third Action they leave that room and enter the hall, generating a third Noise. Action four sees them move into the southern part of the hallway. Continuing this momentum, they drink from the Flask to get a free Action and use it to move into Grandpa’s Room, which adds a fourth Noise. Since there’s a Hide symbol in that room, the Green Trespasser immediate goes into stealth mode. In response to this, the Sawyer player tables “Skeletons in the Closet” for two Fear to raise the Panic Meter! This adds Grandpa to any space in the house, so the Sawyers place him in the southern half of his own room!  

2. Roll for Noise: Three Slashes are rolled, so only one Noise remains! 

3. Give Fear: One Token is flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free. They then spend two Fear to pick up another!  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man moves into and through the Kitchen for two Actions and then uses his last Action to try and Wallop the Blue Trespasser. They get a single Slash, augmented by one because of the "Bloody" room! After drawing a Heart and Leg injury, they decide to go for the Heart! 

3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.   

ROUND THREE

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Intent on scouting the house surroundings for a working vehicle, Grey Moves out onto the porch, generating a Noise in the process. Then they move onto the path space leading up to the front door and strike off two spaces east.

2. Roll for Noise: They roll a Slash, so the single Token is returned! 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue hacks at the Old Man with his Machete! They roll three Slashes (!!!), so the Cook loses three Actions and three Fear! He then flees into the backyard through the Door, making Noise in the process. Next they Move one space east and through the Barn entrance, generating another Noise. In response, the Old Man plays “Unexpected Horrors” for two Fear. It reveals “Picked Clean”, which moves a Searched Token from the Old Man’s Room to the Barn! He’d love to play “Out of Nowhere” for four Fear, but they aren't in the same Region, with Blue “Outdoors” and the Old Man still “Downstairs” in the House.     

2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes rolled, so both Noise Tokens stay!

3. Give Fear: Both Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green emerges from their Hiding place and risks moving close to creepy Grandpa for an Action. Thinking that this interloper is intent on his stash of Pokemon cards, the crusty ol' fuck rolls one die and gets a blank...no damage! Green then uses their second Action to Search in the same spot, making Noise. They get one Slash...but the Flashlight adds one additional Success! They get a Flask and an Orange Car Part, so they hedge their bet, keep the wheel and Bury the Flask. This prompts the Sawyers to move a Searched Token from the Study to that same space. She then moves north one space and out the Door for two more Actions, adding a second Noise.   

2. Roll for Noise: One Slash is rolled, so only one Noise is remains! 

3. Give Fear: One Noise Token is flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free then pay two Fear for a bonus card!

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his one remaining Action to chase after Blue. He then discards “Look What Your Brother Did!” for a free Move Action to get in front of the Barn Door. After discarding “Despair” for another Move, he then chucks out “Out of Nowhere” for a free Attack Action. The resulting Wallop dials up two Slashes, but Blue lucks out when the Old Man reveals a Brain and a Heart Injury, both of which get Buried!

3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.   

ROUND FOUR

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses all of their Actions to enter the Junkyard, generating a single Noise. Whenever a Trespasser ends their Move or Run in the same space with a face-down Vehicle Card, they reveal it. It turns out to be the Blue Truck! 

2. Roll for Noise: They roll two Slashes, so the single Token is returned! 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue lashes out at the Old Man with his Machete! He rolls an insane three Slashes (!!!), so the decrepit creep loses three Actions and three Fear! He then flees out the front door, making Noise in the process and then barrels east for his third Action. For his final Action, he Runs into the Junkyard with Grey, generating two more Noise, one for the Action and one for the Door.

2. Roll for Noise: With one Slash rolled two Noise Tokens stay!

3. Give Fear: Two Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers! As Blue ends its turn, the Cook pays four Fear to play “Out of Nowhere” (since they are now all in the same “region”) and basically teleports to the Junkyard. 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green Moves into the Hitchhiker’s Room for an Action, making Noise as the Door creaks open. For her second Action, she rifles around the room, netting “BBQ” and a Hammer. She keeps the latter and Buries the mystery meat. After using her third Action to Move one space deeper into the creepy boudoir, she makes Noise with her final Action to Search, turning up a whopping three Slashes! This lets her chose between Orange Keys, a Bone Shard, Gasoline and a Flask. She takes the Keys and Buries all the rest, including the Green Car Part. Both of the spaces in this room are now covered with Searched Tokens taken from the first floor of the house. Since this space has the Hidden Icon, Green vanishes into darkness!

2. Roll for Noise: Three Slashes are rolled, so all of the Noise is returned! 

3. Give Fear: No Fear for the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.   

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his one remaining Action to Wallop Blue, but he rolls blanks on both die! He then discards “Home Sweet Home” for a Free Attack Action, rolls again...and whiffs again!

3. Devoid of both Fear and - apparently - luck, the Sawyer player folds for the time being, resetting their Actions to four.

ROUND FIVE

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses an Action to move into the other half of the Junkyard. Unfortunately, there's no Vehicle there, just a Search-able spot. They then use two more Actions to Run through the Junkyard through the Door, making two Noise. Their last Action is spent arriving at the Vehicle space to the east of the property. By a stroke of good fortune they reveal the Orange Car! 

2. Roll for Noise: They roll two blanks, so no Tokens are returned! 

3. Give Fear: Both Fear Tokens go to the Sawyer Player!

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue swings at the Old Man with his Machete and rolls two Slashes, forcing the Cook to lose two Actions as well as the Fear he just received! After fleeing out the front door (making Noise en route) he then uses his third Action to Run towards the Orange Car in the southeast. His last Action is ignored. 

2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes rolled, so two Noise Tokens are returned!

3. Give Fear: n/a 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green emerges from Hiding, Runs two spaces into the upstairs hall for two Actions, generating two Noise. She then Moves to the Stairs for one Action and then down the Stairs for their last Action, making one more Noise. 

2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes are rolled, so all but one Noise is returned! 

3. Give Fear: One Fear for the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his two Actions to close in on Blue and Gray. Discards “I Got Ya” for a free Move Action, entering their space. 

3. The Sawyer player resets his Actions.

ROUND SIX

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey spends an Action to use their Bandages to Bury Blue’s Brain Injury. Next they use the Swap Action to take the Pocket Knife from Blue! Finally they use an Attack Action to stab at the Cook, getting one Slash, so the Old Man reduces his Actions down to three!  

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue lunges wildly at the Old Man with his Machete, rolling one Slash. The Cook loses one Action and his remaining Fear! He then holds his three remaining Actions.  

2. Roll for Noise: n/a

3. Give Fear: n/a 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green bursts through the front door of the house via a Run, generating two Noise. She then Runs towards the Orange Car, making a third Noise, using a final Move action to reach the Vehicle and their fellow Trespassers. Their last Action is wasted since it takes two Actions to try and start the car! 

2. Roll for Noise: One Slash is rolled, so one Noise is returned! 

3. Give Fear: Two Fear is given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his Sweet Talk Ability to roll three Dice, getting two Slashes which equals two Fear. He does this again with his final Action, getting two more Slashes for two more Fear. He then discards "Easy Pickins", spends six Fear and raises the Panic Meter by one! This finally brings the Hitchhiker into the southeast corner of the map, one space away from the Orange Car!

3. The Sawyer player resets his Actions.

ROUND SEVEN

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses an Attack Action to stab at the Cook and rolls two Slashes, so the Old Man reduces his Actions down to two! After using the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Green, he uses his last two Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a blank!

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue hacks away at the Old Man with his Machete! He rolls three Slashes, so the Cook loses his remaining Actions. He has no Fear right now, so that penalty doesn’t even apply. After using the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Gray, he then uses his two remaining Actions to try and Start the Car, but - once again - rolls a blank!

2. Roll for Noise: n/a

3. Give Fear: n/a 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green uses the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Gray. She then uses two more Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a blank! FFS!!! 

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man might be out of Actions, but he plays “Home Sweet Home” for a free Wallop on Blue! Unfortunately he pulls two Brains and a Heart... duplicate Injuries which are all Buried! He decides on a different tactic, playing Despair to get a free Move action and using Hogtie to haul Green out of the car one space north! 

The Hitchhiker moves one space for an Action and joins the fray, slashing at Blue with his Straight Razor with his second Action. He gets a Brain, a Foot and an Arm, so he applies the Foot Injury. For his last Action he slashes again...getting three more Slashes!!! This time it’s a Brain, a Heart and an Arm. Naturally, the Hiker picks the Arm, killing Blue and increasing the Panic Meter by one! Both Gray and Green get a Desperation Card!   

3. The Sawyers reset their Actions.

ROUND EIGHT

(NOTE: Trespassers can take turns in any order!)

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green uses one Action to break away from the Hogtie and get back into the car! He then uses two Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a f#@&ing blank! Again!!! 

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses a Swap Action to pick up the Machete and attack the Hitchhiker. He gets two Slashes, so the Hiker reduces his Actions down to one! He then uses the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Green, then his uses his last two Actions to try and Start the Car.

This time he rolls one Slash and the car's engine finally turns over! They speed away, leaving the livid Sawyers in the dust! 

Green and Gray escape!!!

***

REVIEW

THE GOOD

• It's innovative! There are so many clever ideas on display here, all adding up to a tense and immersive horror game. The first edition of Zombicide is the first time I encountered the concept of "noise" in a game, but its use there seemed more ham-fisted than harrowing. Here, adding Noise Tokens from Searching, Running and passing through Doors, and then trying to offset said Noise, is actually kinda fun. What remains is flipped to Fear which, in turn, is the currency the villains use to play cards and get extra Actions. It's simple but brilliant! Using a finite pool of five Search Tokens also prevents spamming the same spot over and over again with an elegant "cool down" system.
• It's thematic! I can't describe how many little touches from the film are baked right into the game's mechanics. For example: the Old Man can "Hogtie" Characters and drag them away, but then the Trespassers can break away on their own turn, just like Sally did during the movie's dinner scene. I also love seeing Trespassers try and creep past a dead-looking Grandpa, only to have him "come to" and vulpine hammer them in the noggin. All of the Items, especially the Personal Items, work in a very sensible intuitive manner and the Injury / Death card system is appropriately gruesome.    
• It's tense! I've only played the first scenario twice, but both times came down to a panic-filled finale where the Trespassers were frantically trying to start the car with a pair of lunatics bearing down on them. Sorry, but certain horror movie cliches exist for a reason and this game celebrates that!
• It's narrative! All of the scenarios link together, essentially acting as a prequel to the 1974 film! Hey, all of those abandoned cars and human remains had to come from somewhere...clearly these previous Trespassers didn't have that patented Sally Hardesty's will to live!  
• It's final! As I've previously mentioned, horror games like Alien: Fate of the Nostromo really suffer because it eschews player elimination. Welp, this one actually had the balls to follow through on that premise and - for that - I give the designers a respectful * slow clap*.
• It's mad and macabre! The Horror Tokens - as well as the game's grisly production design - really set the tone. Sure, the art in the Trick or Treat studios version is wonderful but, save for the hideous bag prop, it isn't particularly horrifying. This game's artwork, board, Sawyer minis, Panic Meter, Desperation Cards, Injuries...hell, even the friggin' dice...all adds up to a psychologically-discordant experience. Honestly, the only game that's more unconsciously creepy is the 70's version of Clue.  
• It's engaging! Whereas the Trick or Treat studios game is more light strategic, this one is downright tactical, with a lot more minutia to consider. Which Trespasser should take their turn first? Should you split up? Should I seek out Hiding spots? How do I deal with Injuries? The Sawyers are equally challenged. Should I burn Sawyer Cards for extra Actions and Attacks or try and time things perfectly for their main game effect? Should I drive the Panic Meter for reinforcements or just multi-task with the Old Man? There are a lot of interesting and surprisingly immersive choices here.  
• It's snappy! Turns fly by and using cubes to count down Actions really helps to keep things organized and clipping along! 

THE BAD

• Nothing to report...at least not at this stage. My only niggling concern is over game balance. In my solitaire play through, the Machete kept the Sawyers Fear-poor and the Cook couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a shovel, resulting in two of the three Trespassers getting out alive. In my follow up game with Chad, all three Trespassers survived. Now, that's not entirely surprising, since Chad's a wily dude and he also started the car on his first attempt! As I get a few more plays in, I'll be sure to update this space.

THE M'EH

• The Trespassers (and their lame, one-sided standees) are completely generic and have no asymmetrical powers to speak of, which will surely disappoint hard-core gamers. Given my theory that this game is actually the spiritual prequel to the 1974 film, I just view the Slaughterhouse Trespassers as generic walking sausage links, while The Board Game features the iconic characters we all know and love! 
• From this day hence, my meta-game is just to get Leatherface out on the board. I really tried to drive the Panic Meter in my game against Chad, but Ol' Junior still didn't show his apron-ed ass on the battlefield. And, trust me, there a lot of motivation to get him out there since he's exactly the sort of murderous juggernaut that you'd expect him to be.  

"So...What Game Do I Get?"

Are you a casual or inexperienced gamer and you just wanna experience the general vibe of the OG 1974 film? Then get The Board Game.

If you're a veteran of the hobby and you wanna pick up a well-designed, tactical, horror-themed game that delivers the goods on the creep-factor while presenting players with interesting choices, then snag Slaughterhouse! 

As for me, the two are different enough from one another that I plan to keep both. In fact, I can't wait to play both back-to-back for a Texas Chainsaw Massacre double feature! 

***

FINAL SCORE

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse scores five pips out of six with a slight down into that shallow grave the Hitchhiker's been rooting around in. 

"NO ONE CAN RESIST MOTHRA!!!" - Godzilla: Tokyo Clash

Since I've already blathered on at length about my unhealthy Godzilla fetish, and lambasted the hot, smoking pile of debris that was Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars, I can just cut to the chase on this one.

After the Prospero Hall game design group delivered the lite, but spoopy, Horrified and the positively-dripping-with-theme Jaws, I waited with baited breath as Godzilla: Tokyo Clash was poised to wade out of the bay and annihilate my expectations.

So, after a seemingly-endless "Target exclusive" imposed delay, I finally got the chance to test drive it recently and I can confidently say that, unlike Kaiju World Wars, you can, at the very least, play it right out of the box. You might be trolling the Board Game Geek forums pretty quick, but at least you can get started without wanting to stick your face in an Oxygen Destroyer-accented aquarium. 

Okay, so what's the emergency broadcast on this one? Well, here's the game's description right from the kaiju's roaring mouth:

"You are Earth’s most fearsome Kaiju – Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah, and Megalon – battling for dominance as the most terrifying monster in Japan! Stomp across the vintage Tokyo cityscape, unleash devastating attacks, and throw trains, tanks, and battleships at your enemies. Master each Kaiju’s unique battle style to gain dominance before the humans drive the monsters from the city! The game features an impressive 3-D table-presence with large-scale figures, buildings, and a modular gameboard so every game is unique!

Need more training to take on those space dragons and aliens? Welp, click on the following link to start working on your Tail Slides, Victory Jigs and self-propelled Jet-Breath!     

***

PLAY-THROUGH

Before we continue, please permit me a quick aside. So, ever since I started this blog, I've always wanted to include extended examples of play, mainly because I'm the sort of pathetic weirdo who used to enjoy reading the "Series Replays" in The General magazine. 

But, more than that, I also want to put my own personal interpretation of a game's rule book on display to (A) honor the designer's intent and (B) help readers do the same. For me, the "winner" of a game  always carries an asterisk if there's a monumental transgression of its boundaries. That's why I put so much time and effort into reproducing the narrative of a game from start to finish.  

Having said that, I totally understand if folks scroll right past all of this madness just to get to my final thoughts / review. This time out, though, I'd really appreciate it of folks who have already purchased  this game and digested the rules will read through this session report as a personal favor to me. Seriously, I really want to know how well I interpreted the rules here.  

And now, without any further ado, here's tonight's MST3000-style presentation of:

GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA VS. KING GHIDORAH

Events: "Armored Assault" and "Rush Hour"

ROUND ONE

(1) Oxygen Destroyer Phase: Ignored for Round One

(2) Action Phase

Godzilla uses “Rush” to move 3 spaces. Since this “Momentum” card lets him do another action, he plays “Tail Whip” for 2 Energy, which has an Attack Value of 2. Instead of doing direct damage, he decides to use the card as a "throw”, launching his arch rival King Ghidorah two spaces towards a Military Bunker, destroying it as well as a Small Building en route. (NOTE: since the card wasn’t used for direct damage, King Ghidorah couldn’t have used a defense card.) Wrecking these two structures nets him 4 Energy, plus it lets him take a card out of his Discard Pile and put it back on the top of his deck, so he decides to retrieve the “Rush” Card. (NOTE: since Ghidorah was thrown into a building, he doesn’t suffer any damage.)

Choosing to watch the fracas from the sidelines, Mothra pops on her Walkman and listens to the “Shobijin Song” of her twin fairy guardians on Spotify for free. She then gains 2 Energy and draws a new card.

King Ghidorah plays a free “Mangle” card, which bumps up his, um..."Head Meter" by one and wrecks a Train close to Mothra, scoring 3 Energy.  

Godzilla passes.

Unnerved by Ghidorah’s proximity, Mothra spends 2 Energy  to play “Gust of Wind." The Great God of the Void has no cards to block with, so Mothra plucks 2 cards from his Draw Deck, keeps “Go for the Throat” as a Trophy and then places “Rush” in the Discard Pile. This effect also moves Ghidorah one space away, so Mothra positions him in the middle of a column of Tanks. #smart

Ghidorah spends 1 Energy to play “Screech", which bumps his Head Meter up by 1 and lets him draw 2 cards. He then Discards “Snapping Jaws.”

Godzilla jumps back in, playing the “Power Up” Enhancement for 1 Energy.

Mothra uses her free, 3-Range “Antenna Beams” on Godzilla, gaining 2 Energy. The "Big-G" plays “Scaled Hide” in response, which nullifies the attack.

King Ghidorah plays another “Screech”, maximizing his Head-O-Meter. He then draws 2 Cards, keeping “Counter” while discarding “Thunder Spark.”

Godzilla passes.

Mothra discards “Stinger Spray” to move 2 spaces with Momentum, dangerously close to Ghidorah. She then drains all of her remaining Energy to play “Poison Scales” for 4 Damage! In response, the King of Terror" plays a free “Counter”, blocking 2 Damage. Mothra still gets to draw 2 cards from her rival’s deck, keeping a 1-Dominance “Gravity Beam” for a Trophy while discarding a 0-value matching version! Ghidorah’s “Counter” now lets him move into Mothra’s space! Ruh, roh!

Her concern is warranted! Ghidorah spends all 3 remaining Energy to “Go for the Throat”! Mothra can’t block this nasty strike, so 4 of her cards are drawn from the top of her deck. Ghidorah keeps “Sky Drop” as a Trophy and discards the rest...but then the “Barrage” kicks in, which lets him take “Gusts of Wind” as a Trophy as well! Yikes!

Godzilla passes.

Mothra passes.

King Ghidorah passes.

(3) Refresh Phase 

All monsters draw up to 5 cards. Mothra’s Ability kicks in and she gains 4 Energy (!) from the nearby Tower while Godzilla, still the “King of the Monsters”, draws an extra card!

(4) Event Phase

During "Armored Assault" all of the Tanks move and attack! Each Tank moves 1 space towards the nearest kaiju and then dishes out 1 Energy damage to monsters in their space or adjacent spaces. From the rule book: “if there are ever 2 or more kaiju equidistant from a Vehicle, they move towards the King of the Monsters,” who is currently Godzilla! He gets hit 3 times, dropping to 0 and Ghidorah gets smoked twice. Since the rule book doesn’t explain what happens when Tank damage exceeds a  monster's Energy level, I assume that there are no additional ill-effects. I guess? Maybe?

Then the "Rush Hour" Event triggers and all of the Trains move 1 space each! *choo! choo!*

ROUND TWO

(1) The Oxygen Destroyer token moves.

(2) Action Phase

Godzilla plays “Path of Destruction”, moves 2 spaces and eats a Train for 3 Energy.

Mothra plays “Rush” and moves 2 Spaces away from King Ghidorah. She then plays “Gusts of Wind” for 2 Energy, targeting the 10,000 Year Old Dragon, who has no defensive cards. She takes “Unstoppable” as a Trophy, discards “Soar” and then blows him back a space, right into the corner.

Ghidorah discards “Triple Beam” to move a single space back towards Mothra, plays “Thunder Spark” for free to move his Head Meter up by 1, and then picks up a Tank and hurls it at Mothra. The Vehicle is destroyed, gaining the King of Terror 1 Energy. Mothra opts not to play a defensive card, so Ghidorah takes a single 1-point Trophy in the form of “Resilience.”

Godzilla plays the Momentum-licious “Crushing Grip” for free to eat a Small Building, gaining 2 Energy. He then plays another Momentum Card, “Rush”, to move into Mothra's space. He shoves her aside and then blasts Ghidorah with a “Mega Heat Ray”...draining all 5 of his Energy to do so. This blast also flattens a Small Building in the space between them, so Godzilla nets 2 Energy back. He also discards “Power Up”, which results in a whopping 7 damage as well as the freedom to take a bonus Trophy. He helps himself to both “Snapping Jaws” and “Soar” from King Ghidorah's Kaiju Deck! 

Irked by her proximity to Godzilla, Mothra uses the Momentum Card “Rush” to wing away and then singes the current King for a single point of Damage, gaining 2 Energy in the process. Godzilla doesn’t have a defense card, so Mothra claims a Trophy from him...as well as the “King of the Monsters” Token!

Still pissed at Mothra, Ghidorah uses the zero-cost “Rush” with Momentum to move into his rival’s space. Using a combination of flight and his grasping jaws, he snatches Mothra out of the air and power bombs her into an adjacent space. This requires a Throw, so he discards a “Triple Beam” card in order to do so. (Rules question: can you throw an opponent into the same space? If so, do you destroy any Vehicles or Small Buildings present there?) He gets 2 Energy for destroying the neighboring Military Bunker and also recovers a card, so he retrieves “Unstoppable” from the discard pile and adds it on top of his Kaiju Deck!

Godzilla plays the “Amphibious” Enhancement with his 2 remaining Energy.

Mothra passes.

Ghidorah, just 1 Energy shy of a “Triple Beam”, is also forced to pass.

All monsters then pass, ending the round! 

(3) Refresh Phase

All draw cards back up to 5, but the current “King”, Mothra, draws up to 6. 

(4) Event Phase

During "Armored Assault" four Tanks converge on Godzilla but he has 0 Energy, so I presume that there’s no effect? Three attack Ghidorah, draining all of his remaining Energy! Then the 2 remaining Trains move during "Rush Hour." Finally, Mothra’s Special Ability kicks in, so she gains the benefits of the nearby Tower...scoring another 4 free Energy! 

ROUND THREE

(1) The Oxygen Destroyer Marker moves!         

(2) Action Phase

As the new “King of the Monsters”, Mothra goes first! She spends 3 Energy to play the Range-1 Card “Sky Drop”! Ghidorah responds with “Unstoppable”, which gives him 3 Defense (2 + 1 per “Head” advancement). He takes a net 1 Damage, so Mothra keeps “Counter” as a Trophy. She then hurls Ghidorah two spaces away from her, smack dab between herself and Godzilla.

Monster Zero stress-eats a Small Building for 2 Energy via the free “Mangle” card. It also ramps up his Head Meter by 1.

Hurting for Energy, the Big G discards “Bellowing Roar” to pick up a Tank and huck it 2 spaces (thanks to his Special Ability) into a Tower! That's a net 5 Energy gain!

Ghidorah is also in rough shape, but doesn’t have a lot of options so he decides to pass!

Showing no mercy, Godzilla spends 2 Energy for his patented “Tail Slide”and kangaroo boots Ghidorah. The three headed dragon was just playing possum, however, and drops “Unstoppable” on the table for free, which gives him a total defense of 4 (2 + 1 for each Head) so the attack is completely blocked!

Taking advantage of the confusion, Mothra’s nearby baby caterpillars start to carpet bomb the area with their “Silk Spray”, inadvertently snaring Godzilla. The Big G is also ready and the gossamer threads are immediately shredded on his “Scaled Hide."

Sick of being picked on, Ghidorah drops his “Fury” card to electric slide (with Momentum) out of this contested spot. He then turfs his last card (“Triple Beam”) to yeet a Tank into the Tower close to Godzilla, scoring 5 Energy points!

Annoyed by the attempted wrangling, Gojira spends 2 Energy to blast his Range 2, 4 Damage “Heat Ray” at Mothra. She get clobbered and “dies”, but plays the “Rebirth” card to reduce the damage to 1. Godzilla takes a 1-Dominance Trophy card (another “Rebirth”, coincidentally) as well as the “King of the Monsters” token from Mothra, who re-appears freshly hatched in an isolated corner of the board.

Undaunted, Mothra turfs a “Silk Spray” card to move 2 spaces northwest and then fires her 0-cost “Antenna Beams” at Godzilla, which are Range 3, Damage 1. This gives her 2 Energy and a possible Trophy, but, since the randomly-drawn “Crushing Grip” is a 0-Dominance card, it’s just thrown into ‘Zilla’s discard pile. (NOTE: even though Mothra didn’t take a Trophy, she still technically“damaged” Godzilla so she takes the “King of the Monsters” Token away from him!)

Completely out of cards, Ghidorah passes. Godzilla and Mothra both follow suit.

(3) Refresh Phase

Godzilla and Ghidorah both draw up to 5 cards while "Queen" Mothra, draws up to 6. Mothra’s Special Ability then kicks in and she gains 2 Energy from a Small Building in an adjacent space. 

The Tanks move and attack during "Armored Assault". Godzilla looses 2 Energy, so he’s tapped out and Ghidorah also loses 2. Neither Tanks nor Trains are added, but the Trains do move a space during "Rush Hour."

ROUND FOUR

(1) The Oxygen Destroyer marker moves on!

(2) Action Phase

Mothra spends 2 Energy to bring in the “Protector” Enhancement.

Ghidorah “Screeches” for 1 Energy, ramping up his “Head-O-Meter” to the highest mark. He then draws 2 cards and chucks out “Snapping Jaws.”

Godzilla throws out “Power Up” to move 1 space northeast with Momentum. He then discards “Mega Heat Ray” to shot-put a Tank into a neighboring Radar Dish, which nets him 3 total Energy. This also lets him peek at Mothra’s top card.

For 2 Energy, Mothra plays the “Resilience” Enhancement.

Ghidorah drops the free Momentum card “Rush” and charges at Mothra. He then plays another zero-cost card: “Thunder Spark." Mothra responds with a free “Dodge” which nullifies the attack, but Ghidorah gains 2 Energy since Mothra played a Defense Card.

Godzilla pays 1 Energy for “Victory Pose” and wades into Tokyo Bay. He then retrieves the “Rush” card from the discard pile and adds it to his scaled hand!

Mothra discards “Supersonic Flight” to move a single space south east. Her “Protector” Enhancement then lets her gain 2 Energy for the 2 Small Buildings in that space!

Ghidorah spends 3 Energy for the “Fury” Enhancement!

Godzilla decides it’s time for a big-time flex, spending 2 Energy to blast Ghidorah with a “Heat Ray”, which is Range 2, Damage 4. Ghidorah responds with a free “Unstoppable”, which provides a huge defense of 5 from a base of 2 and then +1 per Head!

Sensing an opening, Mothra comes at Ghidorah with her “Stinger Spray”, which cost 2 Energy, Range 1, Damage 1. Poor, beleaguered Ghidorah has no defense cards left, so Mothra takes a Trophy. The Attack triggers again, and, since it also can’t be blocked, Mothra collects another card but the “Triple Beam's” Dominance value is “0”, so it's just discarded.

Ghidorah exhausts his last Energy to gain the “Taunt” Enhancement.

Godzilla decides to bide his time and passes. Mothra and Ghidorah do the same!

(3) Refresh Step

Godzilla draws up to 5 cards, Mothra draws up to 6 and Ghidorah pulls 5. Mothra then gets 4 Energy from the folks in the nearby Tower cheering her on!

(4) Events Step 

"Armored Assault": one Tank moves to protect Mothra, while the others close in on Godzilla and Ghidorah. But, since neither have any energy, the point is moot. "Rush Hour": the Trains move! 

ROUND FIVE

(1) The Oxygen Destroyer marker shifts one space ahead and, thanks to his “Amphibious”, Godzilla gets 2 Energy for starting his turn in the water. 

(2) Action Phase

The Peanuts perform an extended dance mix version of their “Shobijin Song” for free, which nets their patron kaiju 2 Energy and a card draw!

King Ghidorah discards a “Counter” card to move into Mothra’s space, destroying a Small Building there thanks to his “Fury” Enhancement. This gets him 2 Energy.

Godzilla keeps hamming it up like Hulk Hogan, doing another “Victory Pose” to move 1 space and add “Path of Destruction” back into his hand.   

Sensing an encroachment, Mothra hits Godzilla with her Range 1, Damage 4 “Poison Scales” attack for 4 Energy. Godzilla responds with “Dorsal Plates”, blocking 3 out of 4 damage. One hit still gets through, so Mothra takes a 1-Dominance “Rush” card as a Trophy...but since the attack wasn’t fully blocked, she also takes his “Amphibious” Enhancement! Brutal!

Ghidorah discards “Gravity Beam” to pick up a Tank and hurl it into the adjacent Tower, picking up 5 Energy worth of destruction points!

Speaking of, Godzilla plays “Path of Destruction” to waddle directly into the fray and stomp the crap out of a Small Building for 2 Energy.

Them l’il twin runts just keep caterwauling their free “Shobijin Song”, which lets Mothra pick up 2 Energy and another card draw!

Ghidorah finally snaps and “Goes for (Mothra’s Hypotherical) Throat”, a 4-cost / 4-Damage melee attack. She responds with a “Dodge”, but still takes 2 Damage. First her “Resilience” kicks in and she looks at the top of her deck, which turns out to be a valuable “Rebirth.” She discard this card; a solid move, since the next two card draws are both valued at “0” and are immediately chucked out! Nevertheless, Ghidorah’s “Barrage” power still kicks in and he ends up taking a 1-point “Rush” card out of Mothra’s hand as a consolation prize...as well as the “King of the Monsters” title!

Godzilla then flies into his arch-rival, spending 1 Energy to attempt a “Body Slam” on Ghidorah. The space dragon is ready, though, tabling “Counter” for free to gain a 1-Head power up, and fully blocking the attack! Since Ghidorah was just targeted, he gets an Energy thanks to “Taunt.”

Mothra counter-attacks Ghidorah, launching a “Stinger Spray”. Again, he’s defenseless, so Mothra draws a Trophy Card but, since it’s a 0-Dominance “Unstoppable” card, it’s turfed. “Taunt” gives the defender another Energy. The attack goes off again, but this time the Trophy (a 2-Dominance "Fury") is stockpiled. Once again, Mothra takes back the “King of the Monsters” token.

Ghidorah decides that discretion is the better part of valor and uses “Rush” to move 3 spaces away, crushing a Small Building upon his arrival thanks to “Fury”, gaining 2 Energy in the process.

Godzilla gives chase, using “Rush” to move 2 spaces for free and then playing “Body Slam” for 2 damage. Bad luck for the Big-G though, as both of the cards he draws for Trophies turn out to be zeroes! At least he gets to use the card’s secondary effect: to throw Ghidorah up to 2 spaces away, so he gorilla presses him into the adjacent Radar Dish for 2 Energy and then peeks at the top card of his enemy’s deck.

Mothra takes advantage of this and plays “Supersonic Flight” for 2 Energy, moving three spaces towards the distracted Godzilla. This generates 3 damage, which he has no defense for. As a result, she captures a sneaky 2-point “Power Up” Trophy! 

Ghidorah and Godzilla both pass, but Mothra uses “Rush” for free to move adjacent to the last standing Tower!  After collecting 2 Energy from the 2 Small Buildings in this space thanks to “Protector,” Mothra and all of her opponents pass, ending the round!

(3) Refresh Phase

Godzilla draws 5 new cards, Mothra gets 6 and Ghidorah gets 5. Then Mothra gets 4 Energy for defending the remaining Tower!

(4) Event Phase

During "Armored Assault", one Tank moves into Mothra’s space, one moves towards Godzilla and the final (incredibly brave) Tank moves into Godzilla’s space, reducing his Energy by 1. Since there are only 3 Tanks remaining and 3 kaiju, both Godzilla and Ghidorah get to add 1 new Tank each to the board, very close to the far edge. Then the Trains move during "Rush Hour"!

ROUND SIX

(1) The Oxygen Destroyer token moves 1 more space, crossing past the destroyed Small Building meter. This is the final Round!

(2) Action Phase

Mothra starts, using her attack value 1, Range 3 "Antenna Beams" to target Ghidorah, gaining 2 Energy in the process. Again, he catches Monster Zero without any defense cards, scoring a quick 2-point Trophy in the form of “Screech.”

Ghidorah jets away via a “Soar” card, landing next to the last intact Tower. He peeks at his top card but keeps it.

Godzilla plays “Path of Destruction” for free, mashing a Small Building en route for 2 Energy.

Mothra is suddenly feeling very trapped and plays “Rush” to move 3 spaces away with Momentum. She ends up in a space with one intact Small Building, so “Protector” gives her 2 Energy. She then spends that much to play the Range-2 card “Gusts of Wind” on Godzilla. Sadly, the Big-G also has no defense card, but since both random draws have 0 Dominance, the attack is a wash.

Ghidorah attempts a last ditch, "Hail Mary" series of moves, starting with the 0-cost “Mangle.” This lets him eat a Train for 3 Energy and crank up his Head Meter.

Godzilla pivots, spends 2 Energy and then scotches Mothra with a 4-Attack, 2-Ranged “Heat Ray”, which she can’t defend against. She then activates her “Resilience” Enhancement, looks at the top card and then returns it to the deck since it has 0-Dominance. He still gets a 2-point “Sky Drop” Trophy card out of the deal and the rest are discarded. He also picks up the "King of the Monsters" token!

But “THE PEOPLE’S MONSTER” ain’t licked yet. She calls upon her larvae to blast the giant reptile with a Range 2, Attack Value 1 "Silk Spray" bukkake. Since he has no recompense, Mothra then uses the card’s text to root through his hand and turf a critical “Tail Whip” Card!  Again, she wrestles the "King of the Monsters" title card back!

Ghidorah jettisons a “Triple Beam” card (!!!) to move a single space! He then plays “Thunder Spark”, even though he has no valid target. (NOTE: Is the legal? I have no clue.) This gives Monster Zero the chance to crank his Head Meter up to the max!

Godzilla is now completely stuck since he’s 1 Energy short of a “Tail Slide.” With no other option, he uses “Rush” to move two spaces southeast and then throws out “Tail Slide” to biff a Tank at Mothra. Since she has no defense, Godzilla gets a Trophy but, of course, it’s a 0-value “Antenna Beams” card. Oh well, at least he takes back the "King of the Monsters" token!

Mothra has her revenge, throwing out “Stinger Spray” to move 2 Spaces towards Ghidorah and then spending a whopping 4 Energy for a nasty "Poison Scales" attack, which is Range 1, Attack Value 4. Although the tri-headed dragon gains an Energy thanks to “Taunt,” he also has no way to block the hit, so she turns up 4 cards, takes the 4-Dominance “Unstoppable” as a Trophy and also takes the “Fury” Enhancement Card as well! Damn, Mothra is a friggin' beast!

In the last play of the game: Ghidorah spends 4 Energy for his insanely-powerful “Triple Beam” attack. This results in a total of 6 (!!!) damage thanks to his Head Meter being at full and the Barrage kicking in! Before the potential Trophy is picked, however, Mothra uses her “Resilience” Enhancement to look at the top card of her deck. It’s a juicy 3-Dominance “Supersonic Flight”, so she puts it into her Discard Pile. The Triple Beam’s text allows Ghidorah to take “2 additional Trophies” so he ends up with “Gust of Wind” and “Silk Spray” for 3-Dominance each and “Poison Scales” for 1. Not a bad haul!

All Monsters pass. Godzilla draws 6 cards while Mothra and Ghidorah both take 5 each. The Tanks move, Ghidorah gets hit once, Godzilla three times.

END OF GAME DOMINANCE VALUES

Godzilla - 9 + 2 for the "King of the Monsters" Token = 11

Ghidorah - 13

Mothra - 18

MOTHRA WINS!!!

***

Post-Match Commentary 

Godzilla always seemed to be Energy-starved, so "Amphibious" would have been a good thing to get out early. Notwithstanding the fact that he shouldn't have pulled his punches on Mothra, the Big-G also seemed to pick the worst possible times to attack and had precious little luck reeling in good Trophies. 

Despite the fact that Ghidorah was mercilessly picked on for the entire game, he acquitted himself rather well! A successful Monster Zero player will be patient, ramping up that Head Meter to launch some insanely vicious attacks. 

Finally, Mothra executed a fine "float-like-a-giant-butterfly, sting-like-a-murder-hornet" strategy, staying mobile, keeping the Energy flowing and sneaking in with some timely strikes. Her Enhancements are also obscenely good, with “Resilience” stingily denying Trophies and  "Protector"insuring that she's always juiced up to the gills!     

***

REVIEW

PROS

• The production values of the game are bafflingly good, especially considering the price point. The kaiju minis and Large Buildings are spectacular and the gauge of cardboard used for the city tiles is stellar. Bonus points for the retro art style...it really evokes the goofy Showa-era of Godzilla movies, which I adore.
• Since players can normally only do one Action per turn, the game plays fast and furious. The Discard Actions also ensure that you're never totally stuck. 
• Between their customized decks, Discard Actions and Special Abilities, each kaiju plays quite different from one another. Mothra is agile and loves to strike from a distance, Ghidorah is all about powering up for wide swaths of devastation and the Big-G is a well-balanced beast with a nice assortment of pummeling, grappling and ranged attacks.
• Timing, observation and memory are all come into play, especially in a 3-4 player game. Swooping in when you know a rival is defenseless is clutch to picking up some easy Trophies.
• Since Godzilla and company are essentially indestructible, I really like the Energy / Trophy system of damage. Not only does it reduce your monster's effectiveness in battle, it's also an elegant way to keep track of who's winning.
• The inability to target buildings for attack might seem contrary to the theme, but I actually see this as a "PRO", since the designers likely wanted to ramp up player interaction. Otherwise, the kaiju would just spend the first few turns stomping around the board, wrecking shit for Energy and barely casting side-eye's at each other. This might still be on-brand, but it doesn't make for as fun or interactive experience. Besides, each monster deck features plenty of specific cards that you can play to trash Vehicles and Buildings. 
• Thematically, the game is wonderful. Even though the rules have their issues (see below), it's easy to get into and kaiju fans will be positively giddy with excitement the first time they judo-throw a rival across the map and into a Tower!

CONS

• Words can't describe how much I wanted to give this game a perfect score but, alas, I can't. Sure, the rule book technically lets you play the game, but, as this constantly-expanding forum on Board Game Geek will attest, you're probably going to be spending a fair bit of time looking for rules clarifications. This is why I asked readers who've already played to game to read and rate my play-through. I'm still not sure how well I interpreted the rules as presented. As a professional writer, editor and board game instructor (Yes, I'm serious about that last one), I'm always obsessed with clear and effective language, which is why I'm always flummoxed when I encounter rule books like this. Like I've said so many times before: there's a lot of design excellence in the board gaming hobby, but it often gets lost in the pops and buzzes of poor communication. And, frankly, that's a real shame because if Godzilla:  Tokyo Clash gets a 2.0 rule book and a few key expansions, it'll be this G-Fan's dream game! 
• Granted, the Tanks, Jets, UFO's, Trains, Battleships, Small Buildings and Lightning Generators are all chits, but I'm sure this kept the cost of the game from being prohibitive. For the record, I used miniature Tanks from my copy of Axis & Allies and Trains from Ticket to Ride! 

***

FINAL THOUGHTS

One of the biggest demerits I can give to a game is a poor rule book. And, although the rules for Tokyo Clash aren't nearly as shameful as Kaiju World Wars, there seems to be an assumption of reader telepathy at best, and, at worst, a suspicion that things are slightly under-baked. 

As it stands, Godzilla: Tokyo Clash scores 4 pips outta six with a very generous tilt up towards that annoying Xilien UFO floatin' around up there.