Davecon 2014

 
As soon as the holidays are over I'm usually inundated with emails and Bookface messages that look a lot like this:

"When is Davecon this year?"

"Have you nailed down a date for Davecon yet?"

"Can Davecon be on a Saturday in late April or early May? My parents will be in town and I wanna use 'em as babysitters!"

"Why have you not responded to my previous four emails RE: Davecon?"

But it's a damned good thing that this happens. Every year I vow to hold this annual gaming event dedicated to my own galloping ego at the end of Winter for two reasons:

1. The fact that it's Shpringtime and I'm as happy as a little gurl. 
2. I don't wanna be stuck indoors on a day when the weather might even vaguely be nice. Sorry, but after I've been cooped up indoors for the past five months I feel a compulsion to crawl, Gollum-like, out into the sun and languish there for as long as I can stand it.

But, you know how it is, I always get super-busy and let things slide. Thank Bahamut that I've got so many enthusiastic and, *um*... email-savvy friends to light a fire underneath my lazy ass.

Knowing that people do need plenty of advanced notice to plan for such things in this wacky work-a-day world, I began the oft-protracted process of organization back on March 21'st. I started by surveying the group for an optimal date and April 26'th turned out to be the only Saturday in the foreseeable future which everyone had available.

Since things had gone rather well last year at Monster Comic Lounge I sent off the following missive to the store's owner on March 24'th:

Hey, Mike.
 
With the (theoretical) approach of Spring my people are bugging me for yet another all-day gaming thang at Monster Comic Lounge. Apparently last year's event went over really, really well with the horde.
 
As a refresher, here's the plan:

1. It's usually held on a Saturday in the month of April from open 'til close. 
2. I charge $5.00 a head which goes directly into a gift certificate purchased from the store.  This is given away as a door prize. 
3. I also do an "MVP" draw for the person who was the most fun to game with. If you wanted to donate some cheesy throwaway thing for a prize, that would be cool.  If not, I can provide something.
4. Last year we had just over 14 people attend.    

Would the back room be available a month from now: I.E. April 26'th?  

Thanks!

-Dave

Optimistically, I teased the group with the following Facebook message: 

"Stayed tuned folks, hopefully an official announcement is coming soon."

But then I waited. And waited. And waited. Pretty soon I started to get heat from the masses so I bashed out a follow-up on March 30'th:

Hey, Mike.

Did you get a chance to ponder this? The natives are getting restless.

Thanks!

Mercifully his reply came back later that same day:

This should be no problem. I'll double check the calendar tomorrow at the store and let you know. 

And then I waited. And waited. And waited.

Veteran attendee and chief under-ass-fire-lighter Dawn posted this passive-aggressive l'il missive on the event's Bookface page on April 1'st:

"No official announcement? Based on what people have said I tentatively booked the 26th with my parents. But I did say tentatively!! So no pressure, ha-ha!!"

"Ha-ha", indeed.

The next day I sent off another email, asking Mike if we were good to go. I heaved a sigh of relief when, just a few short hours later, the reply of "Yes, everything is set" came back.

So, for the record, Mike does answer email, he just doesn't answer the first email. He's kinda like a reverse Jacob Two-Two. Kidding! We love ya, Mike.

Anyway this was all I needed to make an official announcement to the group:

"It's official! Davecon 2014 will be held at Monster Comic Lounge (2091 Gottingen Street) from 10 AM until close on Saturday April 26'th!!!"

The event's Bookface page exploded with excitement. Commemorative photos and videos from past Davecons were shared. Transportation and luncheon plans were discussed. Most importantly, a speculative list of games that might be played were floated. This time out I vowed to make amends for my poor showing last year, so most of the titles I proposed to bring along would be quick to set up, teach and play.

But then, just six days later, I received the following troubling note from Mike:

Hi David,

I botched this date thing up royally. April 26th/27th is our Magic pre-release event, and we will be having 100+ people through those days for it.

We had not marked it on our calendar and somehow it slipped my mind. If you are ok with rescheduling we officially have April 19th and May 10th available if any of these are all right.
 
I will throw in some extra loot as a bribe for forgiveness for my blunder.

Let me know if this is all right with you.

Thanks,
Mike   

I sent this out to the group fully expecting a "TOO...MUCH...GUILT, MUST...LOG...OUT..OF... BOOKFACE..." communal reply. So color me relieved when everyone seemed to be okay with May 10'th as an alternative. Mike more then made up for his honest mistake by offering all Davecon attendees a tax-in deal for their purchases that day. Their reaction was understandable jubilant.

But despite my best efforts to to be pathologically inclusional, there would be a few conspicuous and unforeseen absences that day. Long time Davecon attendee / perennial Ultimate Werewolf moderator Dean got his wires crossed about the new date and ended up embroiled in some work-related obligations. To add to this, 2013 Door Prize Winner Chad (so memorable in last-years Werewolf game as "Anvil the Town's Blacksmith") and his son Malcolm (even more memorable as "Abs the Total Gym Salesman") had to bow out for an impromptu house showing.

I wont lie to you folks; this nearly killed me. Confession time: I'm kinda like John-Boy on The Waltons; I freak out whenever one of my extended family members are unaccounted for. For a moment I considered re-scheduling the whole shebang but I knew that wouldn't be fair to all the people who'd paid particular attention to the changes and made special arrangements to attend. As such, I decided to press on with the original plan.

Came the dawn, time to go. With Cheryl and Sabina in tow I raced down to the store.

As soon as the staff turned that front-door key, I bombed into the place to set up my orientation signage and snag some B-roll video footage.

People were already starting to arrive so I quickly finished up with this and scrambled back to the game room to set up the registration table. What I saw back there immediately made my heart sink. A good one-fifth of the space was occupied by an eight-foot-high stack of heavy comic book boxes.

"How many people do you have?" Mike casually asked.

"I'm not sure," I muttered in a daze. "Could be as few as ten or as many as twenty."

Mike winced and then gestured towards the cardboard elephant in the corner of the room.

"Sorry about all the boxes. Last Saturday was Free Comic Book Day and we were short on space, so we had to put some stuff back here temporarily. Eventually we're gonna move 'em out; we just need to find a place for it."

I made a concerted effort to tack a smile onto my face. Between my missing peeps and our lack of space, I was really starting to get pissed. This feeling intensified when several of my games fell off of the crowded registration table and landed on the floor.

'I'm done,' I silently vowed to myself. 'Done.'

After all of my obligatory housekeeping was done I finally started to calm down. By then, everyone who was going to show up, did. All told we had sixteen attendees this year: Angela, Audrey, Andrew, Cheryl, Claudia, me, Dawn, Jeremy, Joey, Mark, Matt, Mike, Sabina and three new peoples: Joey's friend Kelsey and some old work pals Ali and Shawn. My mood immediately lifted when I saw so many awesome people gathered together in one place, even if it did little for my claustrophobia.

After introductions were made and pleasantries were exchanged, people immediately got down to brass tacks. Jeremy, Cheryl and Audrey taught quick studies Shawn and Ali how to play the classic shuffleboard-esque die-chucker Tumblin' Dice. The great thing about tha' T-Dyce is that you can set it up in a corner of the room, play it for a little bit, move on to something else and then come back to it whenever you want.

The game got played three times in toto that day and here are the results:

GAME ONE

Start Time: "Early" End Time: "Later"

PARTICIPANTS: Jeremy, Cheryl, Shawn, Ali, Audrey. WINNER: AUDREY!

NOTES: Although Audrey was triumphant, Shawn just seemed pleased that he "took down" fellow noob Ali. Hope the couch was comfy that night, pal!   

GAME TWO 

Start Time: 11:25 am End Time: 11:40 am  

PARTICIPANTS: Ali, Shawn, Matt and Mark. WINNER: MARK! 

NOTES: Ali *quote/unquote* got her "ass kicked." In other news: Shawn, Matt and Mark are all big, smelly, jerk-faces for pickin' on a poor, defenseless girl like that. For shame, boys, for shame. LIFETIME DAVECON BAN ON THE THREE OF YOUZE!

GAME THREE

Start Time: 1:55 pm End time: 2:05 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Kelsey, Joey, Dawn and Jeremy. WINNER: JOEY & JEREMY TIE! 

NOTES: ♪♫ Everyday we Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin' / Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin', Tumblin'..." ♪♫...etc, etc.    

This segued rather nicely into the Dramamine-friendly dexterity game Riff Raff. In this one, participants use a deck of cards numbered one to ten to load goods onto a wildly-swaying ship at sea. Players secretly chose one of the cards to reveal and the numbers determine both turn order and what section of the ship you store your crap on.

If flotsam starts tumbling off the masts, the active player can try and grab their bits (?) before they hit the box or the table. Successfully en-snatchified cargo are eliminated from the game while everything else becomes the tumbler's responsibility. The first player to successfully stow all of their goods away wins.

Riff Raff was played twice that day and here, then, are the hotly-contested results:

GAME ONE

Start Time: "Even Later" End Time: 11:25 am

PARTICIPANTS: Ali, Shawn, Matt and Mark. WINNER: SHAWN!

NOTES: By all accounts, Jeremy did a great job introducing this fantastic game to the new players. In what was described as a "nail biter", Shawn was the first to stash all of his detritus below deck and win the game!

GAME TWO 

Start Time: "Now" End Time: Um, also apparently "now".

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Mark and Sabina. WINNER: ANGELA! 

NOTES: Angela overcame a tsunami of motion sickness in order to win! 

 
A brain-munchin' frenzy broke out at another table with Zombie Dice. This one was played eight freakin' times that day, making it one of the quickest and most popular games of the event.

And here are all the deets:

GAME ONE 

Start Time: 10:50 am End time: 11:10 am  

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Cheryl and Sabina. WINNER: ANGELA! 

GAME TWO

Start Time: 11:10 am End Time: Who the fuck knows? 

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Cheryl and Sabina. WINNER: CHERYL!

GAME THREE

Start Time: 11:15 am End Time: Huh?

PARTICIPANTS: Angela, Audrey, Cheryl and Sabina. WINNER: CHERYL! 

GAME FOUR

Start Time: 11:45 End Time: 11:56 am  

PARTICIPANTS:  Ali, Cheryl, Claudia, Matt, Shawn. WINNER: MATT! 

NOTES: "Bam, Bam, Blam!"

GAME FIVE

Start Time: 11:56 End Time: 12:10 pm 

PARTICIPANTS:  Ali, Cheryl, Claudia, Matt, Shawn. WINNER: CHERYL! 

GAME SIX

Start time: 12:00 noon End Time: 12:10 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Jeremy, Dawn, Kelsey, Mark and Joey. WINNER: JEREMY!

GAME SEVEN

Start Time: 2:50 pm End Time: 3:02 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Angela and Matt WINNER: MATT!

NOTES: "Jerk!"  Hmmmm, methinks Angela was taking notes for this one. 

GAME EIGHT

Start Time: 3:03 pm End Time: 3:13 pm  

PARTICIPANTS: Angela and Matt WINNER: MATT!

NOTES: "Jerkwad!" Yep, Angela was definitely taking notes for this one.  

 
After working the room for a little bit I finally addressed my secret and selfish motivation for arranging this whole dog n' pony show in the first place: to play some motherfuckin' games, yo! As Kelsey, Joey and Dawn eased into the brown-acid-inspired tile-matcher Dizios (which eventually saw Dawn triumph), I squeezed into the seat across from Andrew at 10:50 am to show him how to play Marvel Dice Masters: Avengers vs. X-Men. By 11:20 we'd played our first game.

Despite the fact that I'd fielded an all-X-Men team consisting of Angel, Storm, Cyclops, Beast, Wolverine, Professor X, Colossus and Rogue and Andrew went with a completely schizophrenic mix of Fantastic Four, Avengers, Marvel Knights and a few random dirt-bags ("Spider-Man working with Doc Ock? Wha...?"), the wily bastard still managed to win. My tendency to attack without securing my defenses first clearly indicated that my head wasn't in the game.

After Andrew swapped out The Thing for Black Widow we dove into Game Two. Even though he managed to get his Hulk out (as Andrew is want to do from time to time), I battled back with a solo Wolverine. I managed to knock him down to four Life Points but eventually I succumbed to a rogues gallery of heavy hitters including the Punisher and Venom.

This second match started at 11:20 am and wrapped up at 11:45. You gotta love a game that's quick to explain, easy to set up and still provides a thematically-evocative experience! Yeah, I know it's luck based. Yeah, I know that the rich asshole with all the supa-dupa ultra-rares probably has an advantage. But I don't care; I friggin' love this game.

Needless to say, you can imagine my horror when Mike recently told me that WizKids will be producing a D&D version of the game. In a completely unrelated point, that Paypal "Donate" button in the upper right hand corner of the page ain't just for decoration, people!  

Andrew, Mike and I then segued right into a game of Splendor, which I purchased not long after demoing the game to people during International Tabletop Day.

Over the course of precisely forty-five minutes (the exact same play time promised on the tin!) I mapped out a devious plan for victory. I didn't bother with luring Nobles over to my side with promises of swanky accommodations and / or random sexual favors. No, this time out I went right for the low-level Developments that provide single Prestige Points and then decided where to go from there.

True to my word I picked up an Emerald and an Onyx mine and then used these two new acquisitions to make a Ruby deposit that much cheaper. This scored me three more Prestige Points and, more importantly, the chance to carve out another vein of cost-reduced Rubies. After a fortuitous two-of-a-kind chip score, I had just enough to procure a 7-Ruby Onyx Development which served up another four Prestige. Just like that I was already more then halfway to my goal!

With a treasure trove of permanent gems now padding my coffers I then branched out with some el cheapo Sapphire and Diamond mines. This snowballed into a discounted, three-Prestige Point structure and a third Onyx-related caravan that gave me two more. I hit fifteen Prestige with that last transaction and proudly proclaimed my victory when the turn cycle ended.

FINAL SCORES

Me...15 Prestige Points

Andrew...14 Prestige Points

Mike...9 Prestige Points

I really have a thing for Splendor. Maybe it's the casino-quality poker chips. Maybe it's the strategic path you have to map out for yourself. Maybe it's the game's runaway-snowball-rollin'-downhill pacing. Whatever it is, I really dig this game and it shows in my incongruously-respectable win/loss record.

Meanwhile, from 11:15 am to noon, Jeremy led Dawn, Joey and Kelsey through a game of the classic bluffing/deduction game Love Letter. 

Even though the photo above looks like the most boringest image ever committed to a memory card, Love Letter is a blast to play, as the participants that day would most likely attest. Jeremy and Kelsey battled back and forth for the affections of the Princess but ultimately it was Kelsey who emerged triumphant!

Meanwhile, at another table, Matt steered Sabina, Angela and Mark into a confrontation with the Boss Monster.

Although it didn't grab me the first time I played it, Boss Monster's whimsical art and O.C.D.-style game-play (which rewards players for optimizing their maze's lethality) could easily tempt me into trying it again. Everyone who played that afternoon seemed to dig it, particularly Mark who proved to be "DA BOSS".

The revelry continued at another table where Cheryl proposed a run-through of Timeline: Historic Events married with Timeline: Music & Cinema. The brilliant simplicity of the Timeline series actually makes me wonder why it took Frédéric Henry so long to invent it. 

The game is set up by thoroughly shuffling all one-hundred-and-ten cards contained within the spiffy-looking tin. Each card has an historical event depicted on both sides but only one side shows the year in which this occurred.

After each player is dealt four historic event cards with the date concealed one random card is then placed date-side-up on the table. Players then take turns selecting and placing one of their cards either to the left or to the right of the revealed card, indicating that it happened before or after that date. The card is then flipped over to see if the guess was correct. If it wasn't, the card is chucked out and the player picks a replacement off the top of the draw deck. If they were right, the player is one-quarter of the way to victory! The first person to successfully place all of their cards within the Timeline wins!

Naturally, as more and more cards go down, the Timeline becomes increasingly convoluted and it gets harder to wedge new cards in-between all the revealed dates. For example, most people know that the The Mutiny on the Bounty happened long after construction began on the Great Wall of China, but did the First Hot Air Balloon Channel Crossing happen before or after Captain Bligh was set adrift?

Timeline proved to be a big hit and no less then six games were played during the course of the day. Here's the official tally:

GAME ONE 

Start Time: 12:15 pm End Time: 12:27 pm  

PARTICIPANTS: Audrey, Cheryl, Claudia and Dawn. WINNER: CLAUDIA! 

NOTES: "Learning Is Fun!" was un-ironically recorded on the game record sheet. You can't get higher testimony then that...

GAME TWO 

Start Time: 12:27 pm End Time: 12:35 pm  

PARTICIPANTS: Audrey, Cheryl, Claudia and Dawn. WINNER: DAWN!

GAME THREE 

Start Time: 12:35 pm End time: 12:40 pm 

PARTICIPANTS: Audrey, Cheryl, and Claudia. WINNER: AUDREY! 

NOTES: Winner of the Davecon "No Shit, Sherlock!" Award goes to whoever wrote "The moon is old" on the game record sheet. 

GAME FOUR 

PARTICIPANTS: Sabina, Mike, Claudia and me. WINNER: CLAUDIA

NOTES: Claudia, Mike and Sabina enter "sudden death" but Claudia outlasts her opponents by drawing "The First Appearance of the Dinosaurs"! 

GAME FIVE

PARTICIPANTS: Sabina, Mike, Claudia and me. WINNER: ME!

NOTES: My finishing move was "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple. Great, now that'll be stuck in my head for days.

GAME SIX

PARTICIPANTS: Sabina, Mike, Claudia and me. WINNER: ME!

NOTES: My encyclopaedic knowledge of horror films serves me well when I nestle the Texas Chainsaw Massacre card in between a bunch of 1970's dates.

I managed to resist the Timeline series until the Music & Cinema edition made me cave. And I'm sure glad that I did since I don't have any trivia games in my collection and the intuitive and simple mechanic at the heart of this one makes it easy to teach and play. This one's like a good movie: superficially fun on the surface but with a deeper meaning underneath.     

Between 12:20 pm and 12:35 pm, Joey, Kelsey and Jeremy dared to compare Martian Dice to the oft-played Zombie Dice. Once again, Jeremy played the role of instructor, but this didn't prevent him from annihilating his two competitors. No word as to which of the two games people preferred. 

When a bunch of games wrapped up all at the same time, it gave us a chance to play Bang! The Dice Game together.

This one marries the secret objectives and special character powers of the original Bang! card game with the Yahtzee-esque qualities of King of Tokyo. Here's the low-down on this particular varmint right from Board Game Geek:

Bang! The Dice Game keeps the core of the Bang! card game in place. At the start of the game, players each take a role card that secretly places them on a team: the Sheriff and deputies, outlaws, and renegades. The Sheriff and deputies need to kill the outlaws, the outlaws win by killing the Sheriff, and the renegades want to be the last players alive in the game.

Each player also receives a character card which grants him a special power in the game. The Sheriff reveals his role card and takes the first turn of the game. On a turn, a player can roll the five dice up to three times, using the results of the dice to shoot neighboring players, increase the range of his shots, heal his (or anyone else's) life points, or put him in range of the Indians, which are represented by nine tokens in the center of the table. Each time a player rolls an arrow, he takes one of these tokens; when the final token is taken, each player loses one life point for each token he holds, then the tokens are returned to the center of the table.

If a player collects a trio of Gatling symbols on the dice, he fires one shot at everyone else and rids himself of Indian tokens. Who'll get his shot off first? Play continues until one team meets its winning condition – and death won't necessarily keep you from winning as long as your teammates pull through!

GAME ONE - CHARACTERS

Andrew...Black Jack

Me...Lucky Duke

Dawn...Jourdonnais

Jeremy...Jesse Jones

Joey...Slab the Killer

Kelsey...Calamity Janet

Mike...Willy the Kid

In that first match I pardner-ed up with my slowly-revealed Outlaw allies to ventilate Deputy Slab. It soon became patently obvious that Mike was rockin' the Sheriff's tin star and between Indian Arrows and gettin' triple-teamed by me, Kelsey and Jeremy, Willy eventually went limp.

THE SECRET ROLES 

Sheriff: Mike 

Deputies: Andrew and Joey

Renegade: Dawn

WINNERS: "The (New Age) Outlaws": I.E. me, Jeremy and Kelsey! 

  

GAME TWO - THE CHARACTERS

Andrew...Paul Regret

Me...Vulture Sam

Dawn...El Gringo

Jeremy...Suzy Lafayette

Joey...Rose Doolan

Kelsey...Sid Ketchum

Mike...Kit Carlson

That second match proved to be a vicious and cut-throat affair. After tippin' her ten-gallon hat kinda early, Deputy Dawn got interred in Boot Hill by Kelsey, Jeremy and myself. Meanwhile, Mike got far too big fer his britches and found himself on the receiving end of a lead shower by the same pack o' desperadoes.

Kelsey started firing indiscriminate shots around the table and pretty soon she was put in the dirt by some sharp-shootin' Indians and long-range fire from Andrew. As Vulture Sam I'd been attacked on several occasions by Joey and Dawn but as each opponent dropped dead I regained two Life. Exactly how Sam does this I didn't wanna know.

Since Joey had engaged in a running gun battle with both Andrew and myself right from the get-go, it didn't take much to figger out who the law was 'round them there parts. Between Jeremy, Andrew and myself we quickly made short work of Joey for the win.  

THE SECRET ROLES 

Sheriff: Joey

Deputies: Mike and Dawn

Renegade: Kelsey

WINNERS: "The (Not-So-New Age) Outlaws": I.E. me, Jeremy and Andrew! 

So, what do I think of Bang! The Dice Game? I think it successfully encapsulates the spirit of Bang! without all of the confusing iconography or required head count. Yes, this newer version doesn't quite have the same interplay, depth or nuance, but it's easier to table and jump right into. Having said that, both games are different enough from one another that there's no need to purge the original from your collection.

From 2:10 pm to 2:45 pm Andrew took Jeremy, Audrey and Cheryl through a game of Splendor. Since Jeremy had already played this one before Andrew used this as an excuse to mercilessly destroy his inexperienced opponents, including newcomers Cheryl and Audrey. What an asshole, huh?

Not long after Dawn, Mark, Kelsey and Joey got into an epic contest of Seafarers of Catan which eventually saw Kelsey triumph.

Around 3 pm we ended and / or paused all active games to begin our traditional annual run of Ultimate Werewolf. Even though Dean, our esteemed and venerable narrator, was M.I.A. Mike did an awesome job hosting the hipster-y Kickstarted Max Temkin version of the game.  

Almost immediately Matt was horribly mauled by the secret cabal of lycanthropes. No-one was suprised when he revealed his "Seer" card since that seems to equate an immediate death sentence in every single one of our games.

Dawn then decided to go on the hunt, accusing Andrew, alias Sheriff J.T. Stone, of playing "psychological games" since he'd picked a role that he "thinks will protect him".

"Hey, my grandpappy founded this here town!" Andrew replied.

"Oh, he's definitely guilty," Mark intoned.

A flurry of accusations flew around the room. Andrew nominated Mark but it received no traction. Jeremy fingered Andrew (?) in response, which was immediately backed up by Mark. However, the resulting vote was dead even, sparing the Sheriff from the gallow's pole.   

That night Jeremy, A.K.A. the Sheriff's pimp, was hideously mauled.

"I'm free!" Andrew was heard to enthuse.

Dawn continued her vocal crusade as wolf-finder general. This time she cast aspirations on both Andrew and hubby Mark who was playing the role of Francis the town Priest.

"You can only do one at a time!" Mike asserted.

"Then let's start with the Priest," she growled. "Religion's gotta go!"

Just as soon as Mike's call for back up left his lips, Joey the town drunk jumped in to lend his support.

"But I couldn't possibly have affected them since I'm touched by God's holy light!" Mark said, raising a hand heavenward.

Even though moderator Mike was supposed to be completely neutral he couldn't help but say:

"Okay, I can't vote, but if I could..."

Mike's moment of candor was reflected in a unanimous vote to hang the Priest who, sadly, turned out to be completely innocent.

"Everyone wanted to kill Mark!" Mike noted.

"What can I say, I played my role too well. Everybody hated me anyway," Mark lamented.  

"When I was Seer I picked you first," Matt confessed from out of the blue and the entire room erupted in gales of laughter. 

That night, the Werewolves attempted to chow down on Angela but she was secretly spared by closeted physician Andrew!

The next day, after I said that Joey looked "a little slippery over there", Kelsey piled on to second my nomination. "You gotta get a job," Andrew chastised, instantly turning all of the Republican / Tea Party townspeople against him. After a weak-sauce "I didn't mean to vote thumbs down on Andrew last time" rebuttal, the town's liquored-up layabout was soon a-swingin' from the rafters, dead but incontrovertibly human.

The following morning, poor Claudia (A.K.A. Helga) was found disemboweled amidst the rose bushes.

"We gotta make something happen," J.T. insisted. "So I think it's clear; it's between Sabina and Kelsey."

I twisted Sabina's protestations of innocence around to second her nomination. By the time the prosecution was finished, all she could do was beg for mercy. 

"You voted to kill the town drunk!" Andrew insisted. "He was innocent, he wasn't hurting anybody!"

Then, from the corner of the room, Angela suddenly blurted: "I think he's wrong, I think it's Dave!" Mercifully Sabina was still entrenched in the hot seat.

"Okay, if it's not Sabina this time it is Andrew and Dave," Dawn insisted, failing to make friends with the currently accused.

"There might not be a next time," moderator Mike winced.

"They're comin' after you now!" Sabina warned Dawn.

"Doctor...save me!" she replied, evoking shades of a certain BBC sci-fi T.V. show.

Dawn's assumption that Sabina was the next neck on the hangin' parade seemed to generate some sympathy for her. As such, a 3 to 3 vote spared her life!

That self-same night poor Cheryl ended up as fertilizer in the potato patch.  

"Her arm was over there, her legs were over there...it was a mess, you guys didn't want to see it," Mike enthused, sounding like a bespectacled crypt-keeper.

"I'm going back to my original thing," Dawn asserted. "It has to be Andrew! It's Andrew and Dave!"

"It is absolutely Dawn," Andrew replied, pointing a finger at his accuser.

"It's not me!" she shot back.

"I accuse Dawn," Andrew immediately lobbed back.

"I second!" Sabina said, her hand shooting up.

"It's not me! IT'S NOT ME! IT'S NOT ME!" Dawn fought back, stomping her foot in frustration.

But the more she talked, the more she seemed to wriggle into an increasingly-snug invisible noose.

"I'm tellin' you guys...IT'S NOT ME!!! And I'm wishing I'd gone with my original instinct about Andrew 'cause we moved off of him and I still think it's him. He killed Jeremy! Jeremy was the first to die!"

"I did not!" Andrew countered. "He was a good pimp and I'm outta business! Now, I didn't like everything that went on, but..."

"I wanna win this game...it's not me!" Dawn wailed.

But it was too late. The back-lash was quick and decisive.

"You're a little too adamant," Kelsey ventured.

"Okay! I'll go to Joey," Dawn replied, lapsing into a spot-in impersonation of her deadpan brother.

"It's not me."  

After the resulting laughter finally died down, Dawn's fate was sealed with a vote to swing. After casting her "Villager" card on the table in disgust, she plunked down in her chair, muttering one last "It's not me" as a final 'fuck-you' to her blood-thirsty neighbors.

Overnight the still-at-large Werewolves had one last maulin' party, shredding poor Beans the Bartender into l'il giblets. And with that the lycanthropes achieved parity with the humans and won the game!

WINNERS

ME & KELSEY!

I only play Werewolf once a year at Davecon and frankly, that's plenty enough for me. I've been doing this event for years now and the Villagers never seem to come close to winning. As such, I want to introduce a new role every year to try and even the odds a little bit. Maybe after we've added a Seer, a Doctor, a Hunter, a Gypsy, a Silver Bullet Salesman and Kate Beckinsale we can finally achieve some balance in this game.

Having said that, Ultimate Werewolf will always be a Davecon tradition, if only because of the memorable and uproariously-funny moments it continues to provide. That late-game exchange between Andrew and Dawn could very well be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

My quick-game parade kept on a-marchin' with two back-to-back plays of Hey, That's My Fish!  

The game starts with the random construction of an ice floe using cardboard hexes bearing images of one, two and three fish symbols. When the board is finished the youngest player places their first penguin on any tile with one fish. Placement continues clockwise until all penguins are on the board. In a four-player game each player has two penguins, in a three player game there's a matching number and all four are used in a two-player game.

Gameplay begins with the youngest player moving one of their penguins according to the following three rules:

1. Penguins always move in a straight line and can't change direction.
2. Penguins can stop anywhere along a legal path.
3. Penguins can't jump over other penguins or holes in the ice.

So where do these holes come from you might ask? Well, anytime you pick up a penguin to move it, you claim the tile it was sitting on. So the strategy, then, is three-fold:

1. Set your penguins up to capture all of those juicy two and three-fish tiles.
2. Eke out some extra moves for yourself at the end of the game by staking out plenty of free space.
3. Limit your opponent's end game moves with some well-placed holes in the ice.

GAME ONE - FINAL SCORES

 

Me (Red) - 29 Fish

Claudia (Blue) - 26 Fish

Jeremy (Yellow) - 24 Fish

Mike...(Green) - 19 Fish

GAME TWO - FINAL SCORES

 

Me (Red) - 29 Fish

Jeremy (Yellow) - 27 Fish

Mike (Green) - 24 Fish

Claudia...(Blue) - 19 Fish

My strategy for both games was simple: when one of my penguins was on the verge of getting trapped in a corner, I moved them as far away from the competition as possible. Also, if there was heavy competition for the three and two-fish tiles, I just let my opponents fight over it. Often I'd be left alone with a slew of one and two fish fish tiles after my opponents had run themselves out of moves.

This surprisingly deep and charming little game is light enough for kids to grasp and strategic enough to keep adults entertained. As the perfect opener (or closer!) to any game night, you'd do well to add this sucker to your collection.  

Next up, it was time to get cut-throat with a head-rollin' game of Guillotine.

This one has a really interesting genesis. Back in the late 90's, when Magic: the Gathering was at the height of its popularity, Wizards of the Coast published a series of quick n' easy card games that you could bring along to Thanksgiving dinners in order to make hanging out with your repellent family more tolerable.

All the other games in that oddball series (like Alpha Blitz, Pivot, Twitch, Go Wild, Instinct and Earthquake) have long-since vanished into obscurity, but Guillotine is still in print today. So, what made it the ultimate survivor in the 1998 Wizards of the Coast Hunger (Card) Games? Well, maybe it has something to do with its darkly humorous theme. Here's the lowdown on Guillotine from Board Game Geek:

"The French Revolution is famous in part for the use of the guillotine to put nobles to death, and this is the macabre subject of this light card game. As executioners pandering to the masses, the players are trying to behead the least popular nobles. Each day the nobles are lined up and players take turns killing the ones at the front of the line until all the nobles are gone. However, players are given cards which will manipulate the line order right before 'harvesting,' which is what makes the game interesting. After three days worth of chopping, the highest total carries the day."

Right off the bat I used the "Double Feature" card to decapitate a much-despised Lord and a Palace Guard all in one shot. I was hoping to harvest a few more exponential Guards but I quickly became the default recipient for a constant parade of "screw you" cards. Word to the wise: when you're teaching people how to play a game don't jump out to a quick lead and for the love of Sweet Baby Jesus never, ever look like you know what you're doing.

After Claudia started this grass-roots "let's all kick Dave in the knutz" trend she expertly took advantage of everyone's preoccupation by netting a few valuable craniums, like that of the Unpopular Judge. Mike floundered throughout the game and ended up with a disproportionate amount of popular pates. Meanwhile, Jeremy nearly laughed himself into a hernia with the unexpected appearance of the "Piss Boy". He then played "Fountain of Blood" to get himself back in contention.

FINAL SCORES

Claudia...23

Jeremy...22

Me...20

Mike...15

With its whimsically-twisted artwork, coal-black humor and a wealth of creative Action Card plays, Guillotine is a lot of gruesome fun. It's yet another game you can use to convince your non-game friends that there's more to the hobby then just crappy ol' Clue, Payday, Monopoly and Risk. 

Besides, what other game has a freakin' cardboard execution block included in the box?!?

Games continued to be tabled around the room. From 4:20 to 5:33 Dawn scored a whopping 128-points in Small World, humbling both Mike and Matt Iron Sheik-style.

At the same time, Claudia, Jeremy, Mark, Angela and Sabina indulged in two games of Cards Against Humanity. In the first match, Claudia proved to be the most creatively twisted, prompting Joey "Amputee" MacGee to confess that "we are deranged and evil" in the Game Record Log Notes. Mark was deemed the sickest of all the little monkeys in Game Two.  

The final game of the day for me was Uwe Rosenberg's bean-countin' classic, Bohnanza. Here's the skinny on this one from tha' Geek:

"As card games go, this one is quite revolutionary. Perhaps its oddest feature is that you cannot rearrange your hand, as you need to play the cards in the order that you draw them. The cards are colorful depictions of beans in various descriptive poses, and the object is to make coins by planting fields (sets) of these beans and then harvesting them. To help players match their cards up, the game features extensive trading and deal making."

Right from my initial draw I started with some sets, but they were pretty commonplace Beans. Nevertheless, I diligently planted both Blues and Waxies, not knowing that I'd soon be in direct competition with Andrew for the former and Audrey for the latter. I should have gotten out of this low-rent market right away but instead I just kept on plantin'. Sure, I ended up with a few decent runs but they were virtually worthless.

In contrast, Cheryl made plenty of shrewd trades for valuable Beans (like Reds) whilst sweet-talking the rest of us into giving her what she wanted. Andrew managed to parley some mid-value Beans like Chillis and Stinks into a respectable amount of points while Audrey outpaced me in Wax collection. She also made more prudent planting decisions, opting for scarcer crops such as Black-Eyed Beans.

FINAL SCORES

Cheryl...20 Gold

Andrew...15 Gold

Audrey...14 Gold

Me...11 Gold

    
If my enjoyment of tabletop games hinged on winning, I'd never play 'em. Nothing sums up this philosophy more then my deplorable win/loss (or more accurately, my loss/loss) record in Bohnanza. Even though I'm completely dialed into the frequency of the different cards, the importance of constant negotiation, the threat of mandatory planting and a stringent hand order, this rarely translates to in-game success for me.

But maybe that's why I like it so much. It certainly doesn't hurt that the game features plenty of logistical planning when it's not your turn, agile thinking when it is your turn and constant table-talk throughout. It's one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend it to anyone who's reading this, especially if you dig card games.
This took us right up to 5:30pm: I.E. draw time for the prizes! Here's how that shook down:

GRAND DOOR PRIZE WINNER

($50.00 Gift Certificate to Monster Comic Lounge)

*** ANDREW ***

M.V.P. WINNER

($20.00 Gift Certificate to Monster Comic Lounge)

*** JEREMY ***

FIRST DOOR PRIZE RUNNER-UP DRAW

(for a Batmug, courtesy of Sabina)

*** SHAWN ***

SECOND DOOR PRIZE RUNNER UP DRAW

(for a Zombie Dashboard Bobble-Head, courtesy of Sabina)

*** DAWN ***

As the attendees made their final purchases and then slowly filtered out of the store, I noticed that my irritation over the event's trying logistics had long-since melted away. Above and beyond making amends for last year's poor showing by playing no less then fourteen different games in seven hours, I'd managed to assemble some of the coolest, nicest, funniest people on the planet who'd given me yet another wonderful cache of indelible gaming memories that I'll cherish for the rest of my life. And that's why I love this hobby so much.

I have no idea where Davecon 2015 will be. I don't know who'll be there. Hell, I don't even know if I'll be there. But I do know one thing for certain: 

It's gonna happen.  

Cloaking Device - "Quantum"

After we wrapped up Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars, Matt had to pack it in, leaving Chad, Jeremy, Mike and I alone with Quantum. I don't need to tell you what happened next.

Well, actually, yeah, I guess I do need to tell you what happened next since it's kinda like, my job and...stuff. 

Here's a warp-speed description for this one, right from the space-dock of publisher Fun Forge:

"In Quantum, each player is a fleet commander from one of the four factions of humanity, struggling to conquer a sector of space. Every die is a starship, with the value of the die determining the movement of the ship, but also its combat power – with low numbers more powerful. So a '6' is a quick but fragile Scout and a '1' is a slow but mighty Battlestation.

"Each type of ship also has a special power that can be used once per turn: Destroyers can warp space to swap places with other dice and Flagships can transport other ships. These powers can be used in combination for devastating effects. You’re not stuck with your starting ships, however: using Quantum technology, you can spend actions to transform (re-roll) your ships. Randomness plays a role in the game, but only when you want: Quantum is very much a strategy game.

"You win by constructing Quantum Cubes – massive planetary energy extractors. Each time you build a new one, you can expand your fleet, earn a new permanent ability, or take a one-time special move. The board itself is made out of modular tiles, and you can play on one of the 30 layouts that come with the game or design your own. The ship powers, player abilities, and board designs combine to create a limitless set of possibilities for how to play and strategies for how to win.
 
"With elegant mechanics, an infinity of scenarios, and easy-to-learn rules that lead to deep gameplay, Quantum is a one-of-a-kind game of space combat, strategy and colonization that will satisfy both hard-core and casual players."

Looking for the full specs on all the ships of the line? Then click on the following link and you'll be privy to all the blueprints at the Utopia Planitia! 

***

The Factions

Chad: Orion Republic (Yellow)

Me: Vulpes Alliance (Red)

Jeremy: Andromeda Confederacy (Green)

Mike: Kepler Imperium (Blue)

For quite some time, Chad lagged behind in the placement of Quantum Cubes. He kept running afoul of both Mike and Jeremy, to the point where he had absolutely no ships left at one point. He assuaged these wounds somewhat by investing in a couple of Research Actions.

Taking note of the mutability of Jeremy's dice he started to make his own incredibly sharp moves, first cozying up to my settlement on Upsilon 11 and then jockeying for position with Jeremy on Aldebaran QX 1265.

Jesus, this game is like Neil DeGrasse Tyson's wet dream. 

Anyhoo, Chad's surge was aided considerably by his heavy reliance on Gambit and Command Cards. Towards the end of the game he acquired the "Tactical" trait, which gave one of his ships a free one-sector hop. Armed with the potential to make sneak attacks, he then augmented this with the "Scrappy" skill, which provided a very handy ship and weapon die re-roll.

As a result, things really picked up for him, leading to a ridiculously-close finale. In quick succession Chad moved in next door to me on Odin Majoris, staked a claim on the highly-contested Concordia 8 and then landed a veritable freebie on Minum 2586. His comeback complete, he then surrounded Thor 6 with no less then three ships, putting him one Cube away from victory!

Mike destroyed one of my ships right off the bat, giving me plenty of incentive to be a lot more "fight-y" then normal. Even though I knew full well that a constant diet of warfare was critical to success, I thumbed my nose at expectations and played the game the way I wanted to play it. This meant quietly branching out from my home turf on 55 Librae to plunk a Quantum Cube down on Centor Tetis.  

My gambit paid off as Mike, Jeremy and Chad immediately started to cut the shit outta one another. The closest I ventured to one of these mid-board knife-fights was a quick Colonial Marines-style atmospheric drop on Odin Majoria. On those rare occasion when I was forced into a scrap, my "Strategic" Combat Support card gave my perpetually-clustered ships a beneficial -2 on their combat rolls.

Knowing that my rivals would eventually pick up on my Romulan-like strategy, I tried to leave myself as many options as possible by maintaining a fleet of at least three ships. Anytime I had some leftover actions, I invested in Research, which is to say that I probably only did this about three times during the entire game. Instead I concentrated on circumnavigating the board to land a terraforming team on Upsilon 11. 

My reasonably-good luck in combat combined with a few opportune Gambit Cards let me tip my Dominance die past "6",  earning me an Infamy point and the privilege of placing a new Cube! As I did this, all eyes were drawn to me, prompting Mike to dispatch an Interceptor to the far reaches of the galaxy in a effort to interdict my deep-space vessels.  

Jeremy was super-quick to exploit the shape-shifting attributes of the dice. He was particularly adept at using Flagships to Transport his other ships and Destroyers to warp vessels all over hell and creation. Thanks to some timely Card acquisitions, he pasted his immediate rival Chad in several  early engagements. This aggressive stance also earned him some quick gains on the ol' Dominance meter.

Launching off from Upsilon 2, Jeremy went on a warpath, cutting a Borg-like swath of assimilation right through the heart of the galaxy. Thor 6, Aldebaran QX 1265, Concordia 8: one system after another fell under the thrall of Jeremy's, shall we say, scientific insistence. Only his escalating war of attrition with Chad and then Mike seemed to curtail his efforts, leaving a minimum of two unfinished ships perpetually in dry-dock.

Keen on optimizing the Gambit and Command Cards, Jeremy flirted with the Research action more then the rest of us. Between his creative, three-dimensional dice-play and chaining together several lethal combat rewards, Jeremy quickly became the scourge of the galaxy, especially when he cleared the orbit around 55 Librae with an Interceptor and a Scout.  

Mike came out a-swingin', vaporizing one of my ships as a warm-up but his luck immediately went south from there. After starting out from Concordia 8, he managed to plant two costly flags on both Ursus Minor 2 and Centor Tetis before he become the galaxy's favorite punching bag.

After his fleet was nearly decimated by Chad and Jeremy, Mike forced his shipyard engineers to work overtime to produce every possible ship save one. Unfortunately, towards the end of the game he lost both a Frigate and a Destroyer to his rivals, who were still treating poor Mike like a Infamy-piñata. At least the "Stubborn" trait that he picked up around this time helped him regain some of his lost Dominance.

Eventually Chad and Jeremy got bored with slapping Mike around and turned their attentions toward placing their final Quantum Cube down whilst denying each other the same privilege. So preoccupied were they that they didn't notice that I'd sequestered myself in a far-flung corner of the galaxy, out of range of my rivals. It was here that I hoped to place my final Quantum Cube and win the game.

Only Mike had a ship close enough to stop me. Grudgingly, he accepted the unenviable role of "Space Cop" and dispatched an Interceptor towards Proxima Borealis in a last, desperate bid to stop me.

But even Mike didn't have the movement points to get there in time so it literally came down to one die roll. If I could just Reconfigure my Transport into a Destroyer I could combine it with my already-in-orbit Interceptor and meet the required eight-pip prerequisite for a Cube drop.

Undaunted by this one-in-six chance I tentatively picked up the die and hucked it, my innards aflutter with anticipation. It spiraled gracefully in mid-air and seemed to hang there for a second, oblivious to the weight of eight eyes intent on its augury. Eventually it clattered to the table, bounced around for a little bit and then eventually settled on...

 ...a "3".

I WIN!!!

***

REVIEW

PROS

• The production is impeccable: you've got beautifully-illustrated cards, thick, high-gauge map tiles, temptingly-edible, Jolly Rancher™-style Quantum Cubes and four Command Sheets which clearly and succinctly summarize most of the rules. Oh, and then there's all of those cool six-siders that look like they're made out of beach glass.
• I love how each die plays distinctly different from another: you've got the slow-but-deadly "1"-pip  Battlestation, the aircraft carrier-style "2"-pip Flagship, the teleport-y "3"-pip Destroyer, the nebulous "4"-pip Frigate, the speedy and agile "5"-pip Interceptor and the ninja-like "6"-pip Scout.
• There's a pronounced intuitive streak running throughout the entire design which makes it easy to teach and pick up. For example, just by looking at the pips on the Interceptor die you're unconsciously reminded of its unique diagonal movement traits.
• There's no shortage of dynamic player interaction. And by "dynamic player interaction" I mean that you'll constantly be wrestling with the impulse to push your opponents to the floor and jam Quantum Cubes up their nose.
• The modular, interchangeable maps can be configured into a whole slew of different designs, adding to the game's re-playability. 
• Combat may be slightly counter-intuitive but at least it's easy: just roll a die, add your number of pips and the lowest roll wins. 
• Between all of your ships, your three actions and those free-to-play Special Abilities, the amount of options you'll be presented with on any given turn are boundless. Factor in the Gambit and Command Cards and you've got a mind-bending amount of possibilities. A really clever and creative player can work wonders with these options, literally creating board game art right before you eyes.   
• With attackers winning ties and the Dominance rule handing out Infamy, the game is clearly slanted towards aggro types. Having said that, if your opponents get bogged down in a protracted royal rumble you can take advantage of this with some subtle Cube drop and some clandestine Research.

CONS

• At the end of the day the "ships" are still plain 'ol crappy six-sided dice. As a result the game feels more like an abstract, spacial-relations puzzle game to me then a galaxy-settling epic space romp.

***

At the end of the day, Quantum is still an admirable and innovative little design. Even if the theme doesn't totally spring to life, at least you can credit designer Eric Zimmerman for thinking outside the box.

Given that the game falls somewhere between "inspired genius" and "thematic potato", I give Quantum four pips outta six with a tilt up towards Ursus Major 2.

***

Wanna be "Righteous", "Warlike" and "Arrogant" (I.E. "Republican)" all at the same time? Then click on the link below to learn more about Quantum and help this blog soar to stellar new heights!

♪♫ "They Say He's Got To Go, Go-Go..." ♪♫ - "Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars"

As soon as I laid eyes on Godzilla as a kid I was completely fascinated with him.

 
Unfortunately, this was way back before the advent of home video and there were no Godzilla movies in theaters, so I had to be content with reading about his exploits in books and magazines.

Let's face it: Godzilla is kid catnip ("Kidnip"?). How can you go wrong with a giant, fire-breathing radioactive mutant dinosaur who stomps paper-mache cities into rubble and then gets into Pier 6 donnybrooks with hyperactive, wiry Japanese dudes in rubber monster suits? As such, I've always thought that Toho's pantheon of daikaiju would be perfect board gaming fodder.

There've been a few attempts to bring Godzilla's exploits to life in board game form, but they've been pretty forgettable. So far we've seen an ancient roll-and-move crapfest, a completely random kiddie game, and a two hunks of landfill (enlinkified here and here) featuring that Dean Devlin / Roland Emmerich iguanabortion G.I.N.O. from 1998. 

In fact, the only titles that have come close to doing the Big "G" a modicum of justice were a released-only-in-the-east wargame called Mothra vs. Godzilla (1982) and a promising, unpublished prototype called Godzilla's Rampage (2010) which, by all accounts, seems to be dead in the water now.

But then some tantalizing photos started to show up on Board Game Geek about a year later. I followed the trail of breadcrumbs back to the Toy Vault website and read the following excitable press release:

Toy Vault, Inc. is thrilled and excited to announce Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars; an officially licensed multi-player board game featuring the King of the Monsters – Godzilla!

It’s an all-out brawl of monstrous proportions and Earth is the battlefield!  The Xiliens have pitted Godzilla, Rodan, Gigan and King Ghidorah against each other in a catastrophic battle and only one monster will emerge victorious!

In Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars, players pick a monster and a scenario, stomping over terrain and destroying buildings on their warpath - all while fending off aggressive military attacks, bombs, traps and, of course, other KAIJU! Special abilities are used to eliminate the competition or to tuck their tail between their legs and run away before they are taken out.

The game is jam-packed with pieces sure to please any gamer. Along with the four fully painted 2 3/8 inch plastic Kaiju figurines, the game also includes 90 stackable plastic tiles for building skyscrapers, four individual monster playmats, 86 terrain and power tokens, and much more.  You’ve never had so much fun ravaging the world as you will when you play GODZILLA: KAIJU WORLD WARS!

The box cover art offered one particularly intriguing detail: the name of Richard Berg, a veteran designer of over one-hundred and forty titles who is known in many circles as "The Pope of Wargaming". Additional photos featuring the deluxe components, such as the stackable buildings and highly-detailed miniatures, also led me to believe that this was slated to be a top-shelf production. At the very least, Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars wasn't going to be a cheap, childish, fly-by-night knock-off.

Now, back before the advent of the innernetz with all of its webzonez, chatroomez and pod-cats I woulda just gone ahead and blindly bought this thing under the assumption that, at the very least, the game did what it says on the tin. But now, thanks to handy and informative resources like Board Game Geek, blogs and video reviews you can research the shit out of a purchase before you drop so much as one red cent.

And it's a damned good thing, 'cuz when the game was finally released in the summer of 2011, it looked as if Berg and Toy Vault had laid a Mothra-sized egg. The rulebook was incomprehensible, the Info Cards were conflicty, the building pieces didn't stack, the military chits were inadvertently cloaked and the Rodan figure was, by all accounts, completely drunk off his ass. 

I was crushed. The Godzilla game of my dreams turned out to be a vast, stinking pile of Hedorah run-off. I abandoned any thought of buying it and moved on to greener pastures.

But then something miraculous happened. Undaunted by the Toy Vault's shabby treatment of the game, designer Richard Berg became a one-man interactive F.A.Q. factory on Board Game Geek. Then, on July 20'th, he happily announced:

OK, Zillites . . . Good news.
 
Just spoke to the folks at Toy Vault, and in the next few weeks they will be reformatting and redoing a spanking new rules book, much like you see in most games, with illos and the latest version of the rules as I have done them. They will be making it available - probably pdf - thru their website for downloading.
 
Not sure exactly when this will happen, but it is on their production schedule for work by a new graphics person.
 
And sales have been nice . . . (which is more interesting to me than you folks, I assume . . .)
 
Like Hannibal, keep an eye open . . .

Clearly this dude wanted fans to dig this game. True to his word, Richard ushered in new ruleset in December that actually made the game playable. Still acutely interested in the game, I devoured this new manual and quickly decided that there was a semblance of game here after all. So I picked up a clearance copy online and began the arduous process of making some sense out of it.

Even armed with the 2.0 instructions I royally botched up my first solo run, totally ignoring the Advanced Game Building Destruction rule which requires the use of the "Size and Strength" card. Frustrated, I put the thing back on the shelf were it's been collecting dust for the better part of the year.

But now, with a hot new Godzilla film on the horizon, I felt compelled to break it out again and look for that diamond in the rough. Last Wednesday night I managed to lure fellow G-Fan Matt into what I still hope was a vaguely-legitimate play-through of the "Monster Law" scenario. 

***

VICTORY CONDITIONS

The first Kaiju to score 35 Destruction Points OR the last Kaiju standing wins, whichever comes first.

To ensure that every monster was featured on the board, I decided that we'd use two Kaiju apiece.  

MONSTERS SELECTED

Me: Gigan and King Ghidorah 

Matt: Godzilla and Rodan

SETUP 

As per the scenario details, Matt and I split the Buildings, Parks and Lakes up among each other. I rolled high and had the privilege of placing the four Restaurant Buildings, which promised 3 Health Points to any Kaiju who paused for a snack! 

I decided not to include any Fire or Rubble in the initial setup, since, contrary to the pre-painted apocalyptic art on the board, the city would be unsullied prior to the arrival of these behemoths. 

***

Gigan marched four spaces west past the first city block, pivoted and then clawed a four-story Building into ruins. Rodan turned north, waded through several predominant structures and then trundled back into the street, taking partial cover behind a high rise. The Big G himself meandered due south, pummeled a three-tier structure into ruins and then contemplated stomping a two-floor Building into oblivion. Later, King Ghidorah followed suit, heading due West to kick the bejesus out of another four-floor tenement.       

When all of the Player Action Rounds were over, we diced up a random Event and got "Electric Surge". As the only Kaiju currently standing ankle-deep in shredded Building, Gigan got shocked for four points of damage. Ouch!

 
Not long after, in a moment of cosmic balance, the military launched a devastating "Nuclear Strike" on the most destructive Kaiju at the time: Rodan.  After this attack rendered the entire southwest corner of the board completely valueless, the bat-like beast stumbled away from the fallout zone only to find himself dancing beak-to-beak with Gigan.

The hooked horror hadn't been idle. After annihilating a three-story structure he'd continued on in a westerly direction, attracted to the smell of fast food. After gobbling down the entire Restaurant and regaining three Health Points he looked up to see Rodan stumbling away from a mushroom cloud. Immediately the battle was joined!

On the other side of the board, Godzilla spied his three-headed rival in the distance and made a bee-line east, flattening a three-tier Building and a pair of two-level tenements in the process. Ghidrah responded by giving his arch nemesis the cold shoulder and smashing the asbestos out of yet another four-tier office Building.

From a more meta perspective, Matt did a considerably-better job collecting "Brace Yourself" and "Power Up!" cards, which could be used to shrug off harmful Events or deliver devastating attacks. In contrast, I tried to score Destruction Points as quickly as I could by going after the largest Buildings on the board.

Just as Rodan was about to get a hook through his half-melted face, the mutant pterosaur took wing, flew over Gigan's head and landed a few blocks away from King Ghidorah. After grabbing some Chinese (literally) and regaining three Health, he met the colossal golden winged dragon head(s) on. That quick snack must have had a spinach-to-Popeye effect on Rodan since Monster Zero's attack got reversed, sending him tumbling back into the Pond he'd just waded through!

Meanwhile, in a surprising move, Godzilla changed course and charged at Gigan, thrashing a four-story Building en route. Picking up the gauntlet, Gigan kicked a two-level hotel out of his way and the two titans exchanged blows, with the alien Kaiju getting the edge in damage.

Still looking for a sneaky Destruction Point victory by picking on some more poor, defenseless Buildings, Ghidorah got to his feet and then took to the air, landing in the northern hemisphere of the map. Feeling jilted by his cowardly dance partner, Rodan cheered himself up by flying back mid-board to help his fair-weather friend Godzilla double-team Gigan. Together they whaled the fertilizer out of him, reducing him to 1 Health Point. If not for Matt's consistently low rolls and my timely "Defend" card play, Gigan would have been creamed right there on the spot.

  
But then, in what has to be one of the coolest, most thematic moments I've experienced in a board game recently, Matt played his "Power Up" Card and Godzilla blasted Gigan with his "Atomic Breath Ray" just as soon as he landed. Soundly trounced, Gigan beat a hasty retreat off the board, returning to Monster Island to lick his wounds and re-think his priorities in life. This scored Godzilla a ten-point Destruction bonus and snatched the initiative away from King Ghidorah.

But Ghidrah was still at full Health and perilously close to the 35 Destruction Point benchmark. Embracing a "no-more-duckin'-and-hidin'" philosophy,  Monster Zero took flight, pitching just a few spaces away from the grievously-wounded Godzilla. He then tried to claw his way through the intervening Building to get to his foe but despite his immense "Size And Strength" King Ghidorah just didn't have the juice to fly, crash through the Park and kick his way through the tenement.

'Zilla, on the other hand, had no trouble smashing through the same Building to maul his rival while Rodan displayed his ability to multitask by cheering and convalescing from the sidelines.

By succeeding where Ghidrah had failed, Godzilla snatched the momentum away from the tri-headed terror. On his very next turn, the King of the Monsters turned, smashed through the closest Building and collected just enough Destruction Points to score 36 and the big win!   

MATT WINS!!!

***

REVIEW

PROS

• Fuck you, I like the stackable Buildings. Just twist 'em ninety degrees and they work fine, ya dingus.
• The expertly-painted figs are worth about forty bucks alone, IMHO.
• The board is colorful and functional. Well, maybe a bit too colorful. See my related rant down below in the CONS section...
• Except for the Info Cards and the Military counters (again, see below), the rest of the components are perfectly acceptable.
• The Kaiju actually play quite different from one-another. Gigan deals a shit-ton of melee damage, Rodan is great with hit-and-run tactics, King Ghidorah trashes real estate with ease and Godzilla is the total package: well-balanced in hand-to-hand combat, ranged attacks and demolition. The Special Abilities add even more to this.
• I love, love, love the tense Advanced Combat Card mechanic. The random die roll and the Weak Point effects ensure that, like in any good wrestling match, reversals can happen anytime and attacks are never a sure thing.
• Thematically the game works as a whole. Yes, we had to pause frequently to find and then decipher a specific rule but we just decided on a quick interpretation and then plunged ahead. If you're willing to do some homework, the game can be a huge blast.

CONS

• As soon as you crack open the game, just go ahead and burn the shitty photocopied pamphlet masquerading as a rulebook you'll find inside. Then print out and review the Second Edition of the rulebook post-haste. It isn't perfect but at least it'll give you a fighting chance to play the game. If you're one of those crazy people who thinks that a game should be playable right outta the box, then you need to avoid this one like a late-night showing of Godzilla's Revenge. 
• Even armed with the newer rulebook, vagaries, inconsistencies and fiddly bits will continue to frustrate you. I'm still not convinced that we played huge chunks of the game properly. Here are a few things that we either forgot about, totally fucked up or had lingering questions about:  (1) During the Player Action round, we played it so that individual Kaiju take all of their available Actions and spend all of their Energy until they either tap out or pass. Although this didn't preclude reserving a small amount of Energy for defensive maneuvers, we didn't know that you can also use these remaining points to take offensive actions later in the Game-Turn if you can still afford to do so. (2) Since Attack Cards can only be used once during Combat, do "Size and Strength" Cards get used up when employed for Building destruction attempts? The way we played it, we'd spend the EP's to move into a Building space, then spend one EP to play "Size and Strength" and then roll to see if we actually destroyed it. If we failed, we just spent another EP to try again and again, so long as we had some points left. Which begs the question: can you move into Building spaces without destroying them? If so, are the Kaiku climbing around on those things like King freakin' Kong? Also, how does this relate to # 3 listed below? (3) Like so many other things, the Restaurant rules are annoyingly vague. Do you gain Health back if you destroy them or only if you successfully enter their space? Since I thought that Kaiju can't move into Building spaces unless they destroy them, I always assumed that Restaurants provide a one-time-only three Health Point bump to the monster that eats it. (4) I'm pretty sure that even Richard Berg himself couldn't get the Military movement and attack rules to work as written here. The Military should have its own separate turn, maybe  right before the Event Card phase, where unit's owners can move and then attack any enemy Kaiju within range. (5) Can you throw Military units at Military Units? Fucked if I know... (6) Can you trash Parks and Gardens? Whelp, they don't have a DP value so I assume no.
• I have no idea why the city map looks pre-destroyed before the monsters show up. I'd much prefer a pristine, clear-looking map that you can customize with cardboard tiles to represent specialized Buildings or terrain.
• All of the monster figs stand up perfectly thanks to their tripod tail action. Rodan, on the other hand, is an annoying fuck who keeps falling backwards on his ass like a frat boy on a free brewery tour. One day I'm just gonna snap and hot glue gun the clumsy fuck onto a plastic Blood Bowl base.  Then, of course, he won't fit back in the box.  Grrrrrrrrrr...
• I know that the military is supposed to use camouflage, but in a board game when you're supposed to remember to use them, it's a giant pain in the knutz. The nondescript Tank and APC markers will blend into the board so much that I guarantee you'll end up forgetting about them constantly. Why weren't we given some cool-ass minis to represent the vehicles, too? Oh, right, they wanted to produce this game as cheaply as humanly possible. From here on in I'm gonna crib stuff from my Monsters Menace America game.    
• If one player's Kaiju is consistently leading in Destruction Points, they can keep sniping the buyable cards, leading to a considerable advantage. Well, at least there's a two-card hand limit.  
• The Info Cards look like they were designed by a six-year-old on a DMT bender using Microsoft Paint. 
• The rules governing Tail destruction are also pretty chicken-or-the-egg. For example, do you have to table the "Size and Strength" Card on a voluntary Tail-related Building destruction attempt?
• Even the Scenario details are wishy-washy. For example, in the "Monster Law" scenario, you're only supposed to collect "10 Destruction points for defeating a Kaiju" if you're playing with three or four players. Even though our game had only two players I applied this rule because we were using all four monsters. The set-up instructions for this and "The End of Tokyo" are also unnecessarily convoluted.   

***

I've wracked my brain as to why this game feels so slapdash. At first I thought it was because it was rushed out, but in one BGG forum thread Richard Berg told fans that it could likely be released as early as February 2011. It actually shipped four months later which seems to indicate that Richard thought that the game was done, at least from a design perspective. So what happened?

I think blame for the game's shortcomings rests solely on Toy Vault. After they cut Berg loose I think they tried to produce the game as cheaply as they could, which meant the inclusion of a bargain- basement rulebook and some cheeseball Military counters. This is a bloody shame since even a cursory glance at the forums on Board Game Geek shows that Berg is a super-passionate G-Fan and he really wanted people to like his game.

Well, Richard, I'm here to tell you that you needn't worry. The Second Edition rulebook clearly indicates that there's a great game in there somewhere just waiting to burst out. Personally, I plan on cobbling together my very own Third Edition rules sheet which will hopefully have me stomping cities with a song in my heart ad infinitum.

***

Out of the box, burdened by the original rule book, Godzilla: Kaiju World Wars scores only two pips out of six with a downward tilt into that Destoroyah foot-crater.

Armed with the Second Edition rulebook, the game jumps to three pips outta six, with a healthy tilt w-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y up. Like at least a hundred meters up.

 

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