"We're In Some Real Pretty Shit Now, Man!" - "Aliens: Another Glorious Day In The Corps"

I've already talked about my fascination for Aliens and the subsequent tie-in board game published in 1998 by Leading Edge Games.

Well, color me delighted when Gale Force Nine, the same bunch who gave us Spartacus, Firefly and Star Trek Ascendancy, released their own take on the IP back in 2020. An Aliens game featuring modern production values and over thirty years of design evolution? It wasn't a matter of if I would buy it, but how quickly I could get my mitts on it! 

Sadly, the game has since come to symbolize a cautionary tale about the dangers of impulse buying. It's taught me to wait until the fervor dies down before I blindly pounce all over something like an Alien drone on a Colonial Marine. 

Don't worry...I'll get to that. On to the task of autopsy...

So, what's the pitch for this version? Well, here's the corporate briefing straight from the weird-collared suits at Gale Force Nine:

Aliens: Another Glorious Day in the Corps is a co‑operative survival board game in which you and your team of specialist Colonial Marines will gear up with serious firepower and head into Hadley's Hope to find survivors and answers. But you're not alone. To survive, you'll need to work together, keep your cool, and stay frosty to fight off relentless Xenomorph ambushes and get out of there alive.

Players can play up to six different missions, taking them into different areas from the Hadley’s Hope terraforming facility to the deep, dark recesses of an xenomorph nest. Aliens also offers an exciting campaign mode to play four of the missions linked together, so players will need to fight relentless xenomorph attacks and keep each other alive all the way to the end of the campaign. The remaining two missions are purely about survival, it’s kill or be killed. The players are dropped into the game with nothing more than a pistol. They will need to scavenge weapons and gear while hordes of Xenomorph aliens are trying to get at them. 

How long can you survive against the odds? 

Looking to perform DCS and tactical database and assimilation by 0830? Well, good luck, 'cuz it looks like GF9 aren't supporting this one anymore.

The good news is, Peter (a.k.a. Universal Head), has a wonderful summary of the 2023 rules which is indispensable for trying to figure out how to play this thing. You can find those files right here.  

***

MISSION ONE PLAY THROUGH

THE HEROES

THE GRUNTS

MARINE PHASE - TURN ONE

Hicks passes the Activation Token to Hudson to start the round. Since he has no cards in hand to fuel his On Activation ability, William just double-moves to the computer terminal in the northwest section of the base. He then Reveals a card for his End of Activation ability...an unfortunate Hazard called "Losing Hope", which is immediately put into play! This freak out is early...even for Hudson! 

As a Rank One Private, Hudson can only activate one Grunt, so Frost scampers over to the door to the northeast section of the map and attempts to Barricade it. He rolls a "2"...a success! The door is sealed...at least for now!   

The turn then passes to Ripley. She has no Endurance Cards to Recycle but the second part of her On Activation ability triggers and she draws a card: "We're In the Pipe...". She double moves to the northeast door in the southwest section of the map and it opens automatically. The Blip there is revealed as a "0"! Whew!

Since our gurl Ellen has no military authority, she can't order any Grunts around. So she passes the turn to Hicks.

The Corporal uses his On Activation ability to draw a card: "Somebody Wake Up Hicks." How appropriate! He then double moves to the northwest door in the southwest section of the map and it opens automatically. The Blip beyond is revealed as two Aliens!

He then uses his authoritah to activate two Grunts, starting with Vasquez. She double moves eight spaces, intent on Spawn Point One. Then Gorman double moves, keen on sealing off Spawn Point Two. 

(NOTE: even though Gorman technically outranks Hicks, the rules state that "the player with the highest rank now activates any remaining Grunts that haven’t yet been activated this Marine Phase.")

ALIEN PHASE - TURN ONE 

The two Aliens revealed by Hicks charge at him. He Exhausts a card to perform Defensive Fire on his assailant, rolling a "4"...success! His Aim dial goes down to "6." Using he weapon's Full Auto feature, he spends a second card to fire again, rolling a "1" (two cards in Exhaust). Another hit! Both threats are neutralized and Step One ends.

A "3" is rolled for Blip movement so they start heading towards Frost. 

(NOTE: Motion Tracker Cards aren't drawn until Turn 3 in this scenario.)

MARINE PHASE - TURN TWO

Everybody resets their aim dial, namely Hicks. 

Hicks prompts Hudson to Activate First. He can't use his On Activation ability because he still doesn't have any cards. Then the horrendous "Losing Hope" triggers, which prompts a card Reveal. The resulting Event Card draw ("Do It Fast!") results in four (!) cards being Exhausted (now six cards in Exhaust) and this random pull is placed under the Reshuffle Card! He then Interacts with the Computer, rolling a successful "2" which lets him peek at the Mission Blip in the lower right hand corner of the southwest section of the map. Newt is found! He then scrambles down to the exit leading to the main corridor, opening the door. Finally his End of Activation effect triggers and he Reveals a card: "Go to Sleep and Don't Dream", which he holds onto. 

Frost then hustles down to the door leading to the southeast section of the map and tries to Barricade it as his second action. The resulting "3" is a Success and that portal is also temporarily blocked!

Ripley uses her On Activation ability to Recycle two cards and draw one (a Pulse Rifle), leaving four cards in Exhaust. She then moves five spaces towards the NewtBlip but pauses to use her second Action to Barricade Spawn Point Three. A roll of "1" does the trick! 

No military authority? No Grunt activation...on to Dwayne!

Hicks decides to block the northeast path in an effort to corral Newt if she bolts. He then takes a Rest Action, drawing two cards which turn out to be a pair of M40 Grenades! He then Recycles three Cards from the Exhausted pile below the Endurance Deck (one card in Exhaust).   

Hicks gets Vasquez to move adjacent to Spawn Point One and Barricade it. She rolls a "1", sealing it up tight as a button! #dreamteam

Can Lieutenant Gorman follow suit? Not with a "10" and a "7" he can! Lemme guess, he barricaded thirty-eight doors during training...all simulated. What an asshole! 

ALIEN PHASE - TURN TWO

No Aliens to Activate, on to the Blips! A "3" is rolled and they keep moving toward the exit that leads into the main hallway. 

Last turn without drawing a Motion Tracker card! It's about to get real, y'all!  

MARINE PHASE - TURN THREE

Aim dials would be reset here, but not applicable this time out. 

Hicks passes the initiative on to Ripley. She triggers her On Activation ability by Recycling the remaining card and drawing a Pistol (zero Exhausted cards). She then moves four spaces, reveals Newt and rolls a "3" on the Marine Die for her Interact Action...success!!! Newt joins the team as a Hero! 

It doesn't specify when Newt joins the turn order, so I'm just gonna assume it's right after Ripley. Soooo, she double moves out into the main hall. 

Hicks is up next. On Activation he draws an Endurance Card and gets a Med Scanner. He then moves eight spaces towards the Exit. 

Vasquez moves eight spaces towards the Exit. 

Frost is then Activated. He shifts four spaces to the center of the board to try and form up the squad and then takes an Aim Action, going up to a six. 

Hudson then Activates. He draws a Pistol because of "Losing Hope", which results in two Endurance Deck discards and then it's shuffled back into the Exhaust Pile! (one Exhausted card)

His On Activation ability is ignored. He then moves four spaces towards Newt and takes an Aim action, putting his dial up to seven. End of Activation: "Stop Your Grinnin'" is added to his hand!

Gorman tries to Barricade again, rolling a "6" and an "8." I swear, this clown is gonna be the death of us all! He then uses a free action to use the Motion Tracker, which Reveals a random "Okay, What Do I Do?". This lets him put the Spawn Point Two card at the bottom of the deck and the Spawn Point One Card back on the top! At last, something productive! 

With all Activations complete, it's on to...      

ALIEN PHASE - TURN THREE

There are no Aliens to activate, so we're on to Blip movement. A "5" is rolled, so one Blip moves three spaces next to the door and it tries to smash through the barrier. According to the revised rules they need to roll 5+ to do this, but they fail with a "3", ending that Blip's turn. The second Blip moves four spaces next to the door and gets a "2." Again, it holds!

Next up, Motion Tracker cards are drawn! As per the 2023 rules revision, three cards are drawn with two or three players.

"Alien Drones" is the first pull. Instead of destroying a Barricade, the Marines choose to add a second Blip. Here's how Blips at a Barricaded Spawn Point are handled:

"Roll the Alien die. On a 5+, remove the Barricade marker and place the Blip. Otherwise, discard the Blip token. If more than one Blip enters play at the same point, roll for each in turn until they remove the Barricade marker or all Blip tokens are discarded." 

The first roll of "3" causes the Blip to be discarded. The second roll is a "6"...it's destroyed! Three Aliens enter the map!    

Another "Alien Drones" comes up, but this one is for Spawn Point Two! Again, they opt not to destroy a Barricade and add a new Blip to Spawn Point One...unfortunately its another four Aliens! Ruh, roh! The Blip for Spawn Point Two is mercifully only two Aliens!

Finally the third card is a "False Alarm" and a single Exhausted card is Recycled (zero cards in Exhaust). 

MARINE PHASE - TURN FOUR

Dials are all reset. 

Hicks gives Newt the initiative so she scrambles ten spaces towards the exit! She then uses her End Activation Ability, Exhausts two cards (two cards in Exhaust) and moves Hudson two spaces towards her!

Hicks draws a Pistol On Activation. After Un-equipping his Shotgun and Equipping Grenades, he then Attacks the lead Alien group with his Pulse Rifle, Exhausting one Card to do so (three cards in Exhaust). His first roll is a "9"...a miss! That's when he uses his Passive ability to Exhaust a card from hand (the Pistol - four cards in Exhaust) to re-roll! The subsequent "4" hits, so he dials down to Aim 6 and the weapon's Full Auto attribute kicks in! Another Exhausted Card (five Exhausted cards), another roll..."10"...another miss! (NOTE: Hicks's ability can only be done "once per Turn", which is considered to be a full Marine and Alien Phase!) 

His second attack begins and he fires a Grenade, targeting the space right in front of the two Aliens closest to him. A "3" and a "6" are rolled...both hits!!!

For his two commands, Hicks orders Vasquez to pivot and let loose with her Smart Gun. Thankfully she has a perfectly clear fire line between Hudson and Hicks right to the cluster of four Aliens. Two cards are exhausted (now seven Exhaust) and she rolls two dice...getting double "3's", which is a hit! She dials down to Aim Five and fires again (nine cards in Exhaust), scoring a "9" and another "3." She drops another one!

Gorman fires at the Alien standing right next to him, rolling a "6"...a miss! Since he's using a Pistol he can Exhaust a Card and try again (ten cards in Exhaust), this time rolling a "9." Nope! He's down to a "2" for Aim! He spends his second action Attacking and gets a "3"...which works for a Pistol (they always hit on a "3" or less). He Exhausts yet another card (eleven cards in Exhaust) and fires at the second Alien and rolls a "7." Another miss!

Now it's Hudson's turn! He opts not to perform his "On Activation" ability (still eleven cards in Exhaust). He then plays his "Go To Sleep And Don't Dream" Event Card, which is added to the Exhausted pile when resolved (twelve Exhausted cards). Six Exhausted cards are Recycled (six cards in Exhaust) and so is one Discarded card. 

NOTE: As for that last perk, I think the card that's Recycled is whatever happens to be on top of the pile, I.E. you can't rummage through the Discards and cherry pick whatever you want. 

I also can't find anything in the rules which prevents the play of multiple Events, so he tables "Stop Your Grinnin'" for free (seven cards in Exhaust) and draws a random "Last Stand" Event which lets him look at the top five Motion Tracker Cards. He top decks three of the cards and buries two more.

He takes his first action to fire at the remaining Alien behind Spawn Point One, Exhausting a card (eight cards in Exhaust) and rolling a "6"...a hit! Cranks another card (nine cards in Exhaust) for Full Auto and rolls "10", which misses. Crap! 

Hudson activates Frost, who tries to flame-broil the remaining Alien. Sadly he has to waste an Action and move up one space so he doesn't torch stupid Gorman! He Exhausts two Cards (eleven cards in Exhaust) and rolls an "8"...a miss! He then Reveals a random Card (an Event called "Resolve") which allows a card to be Recycled (ten cards in Exhaust)!     

On Activation, Ripley recycles two Endurance Cards and then draws a "Hadley's Hope Map" (eight cards in Exhaust). She plays "In the Pipe, Five by Five" into the Exhaust Pile (nine cards in Exhaust) and draws "Grenades." She roots through the Exhaust pile and recovers a Pulse Rifle (eight card in Exhaust). Ripley moves ten spaces...staring down the closest Alien!

With everyone accounted for, it's time for the...

ALIEN PHASE - TURN FOUR

The Alien close to Ripley charges at her. Defensive fire occurs! She exhausts a card (nine cards in Exhaust) rolls a "6" and kills the thing! Apparently Hicks's thirty seconds of weapon training paid off! 

Next the one hovering over Gorman tries to eat him. He performs Defensive Fire, but "7" is a miss. He Exhausts another card (now ten Exhausted cards) and gets another "7". This guy is as useless as a screen door on a drop ship!      

Now it's all up to Frosty! He exhausts two cards (twelve Exhausted) and attacks with his Flamethrower, rolling a "4"...a hit!!! The board is currently Alien-free!

Next a Blip tries to smash through the door, rolling a "1"...failure! Blip Two gets a "3"...no dice!

The Motion Tracker Decks reveals a "False Alarm", then an "Alien Lurker" gets placed on Spawn Point Four and - since it's out of LOS - it moves four spaces! Finally an "Alien Assault" occurs on Spawn Point One...so two Xenomorphs enter the map!

MARINE PHASE - TURN FIVE

Dials are all reset. 

Newt double moves out the Exit!

On Activation, Hicks draws an Endurance Card, a Smart Gun. He Exhausts one card to Equip Grenades (thirteen cards in Exhaust). He moves three spaces back, reshuffles the Endurance Deck, Exhausts a card (fourteen cards in Exhaust) then takes a pot shot at the Aliens on Spawn point One. He rolls a "4" and hits! He then Exhausts another card for Full Auto (fifteen cards in Exhaust) and shoots again. He rolls a "5"... another hit! The map is clear again! 

Frost moves off the map and and Vasquez moves eight spaces. 

Hudson ignores his On Activation ability and moves eight spaces towards the exit.

Gorman uses his Motion Tracker and the useless twit pulls "Game Over Man!". Mercifully the very first Revealed card is a Flame Thrower, so this and the Hazard are Discarded. The useless tool then runs off the board. 

Ripley double moves towards the exit!  

Since the win condition is Newt and at least two Marines survive, it's a Win, so I'm gonna end it there.  

***

REVIEW

PROS

• Sadly, the game's biggest draw is purely its cosmetic value. The boards, tokens and especially the models are all top shelf. I also appreciate screen grabs from the film for illustrations, but why is the image resolution so murky and low-fi? 
• I genuinely enjoy the squad based tactics. Unless you secure the map by Barricading Doors and Spawn Points, you're in for some real chop.
• The character abilities are thematically on point. Hicks is a great fighter (normally), Hudson is tech-y and has a built-in Motion Tracker, Ripley is protective, resourceful and keeps a level head via the Endurance Deck, Newt is elusive and she inspires characters to protect her, Vasquez and Frost specialize in their particular weapons and Gorman is a waste of space. Just kidding! (not kidding)
• I love the Blip system, even if it was stolen outright from Space Hulk.
• The Alien A.I. is pretty straightforward. 
• The concept of the Marines experiencing resource attrition is a great idea...pity the design element used to realize this theme is incredibly clunky. Speaking of...

CONS

• Oh...my...GAWD, I hate, hate, HATE this Endurance Deck mechanic sooo much. After a comparatively-elegant "action point" system was used to great effect in the O.G. Aliens game from 1989, adding the Endurance Deck is like putting an M4 Helmet on top of an M4 Helmet. It's cumbersome, confusing and I doubt if anyone has ever played a game where the card flow didn't get hopelessly cocked up. Reveal, Exhaust, Recycle, Discard, Play, Resolve...there are cards going everywhere! Just look at all of the needless book-keeping the Endurance Deck caused during my play-through! And to think that all of it could have been avoided if they'd just taken the Leading Edge rules and then just spruced them up a bit. What a wasted opportunity!    
• The instruction book included in the original 2020 release is so notoriously vague it spawned nearly five-hundred pages of rules questions on Board Game Geek. It got so bad that Gale Force Nine essentially re-issued the game in 2023 with a revamped rmanual. Even armed with that, the ground-up design is so frustratingly un-intuitive that you'll find yourself constantly looking stuff up over and over again. Towards the end of my play-through I was silently praying for no more Aliens or Blips to appear - not because of tension - but because I didn't want to wade through the inherent annoying complications. By the end of it, I just wanted it to be over. 
• The graphic design on the box cover and the cards / character mats have only the bare minimum of aesthetic value. Very intro level Photoshop.
• For the longest time, we gamers were incredibly spoiled, blessed with board games that came with fully assembled minis. Hell, sometimes they came assembled and painted! But no, somehow those Games Workshop weirdos - with their seemingly limitless fountain of free time - managed to convince the industry that everyone wanted to put a fucking board game together before we can even play it. Despite the fact that I knew damned well that "some assembly was required" going into it, my heart absolutely sunk when I opened the box and saw all of that hard plastic on sprues. If I'm cast down into the pits of Hell in the afterlife, the punishment during my eternal damnation will be to assemble this shit over and over again.   

***

Sadly, Aliens: Another Glorious Day in the Corp is an unwieldy and needlessly top-heavy disappointment. I'd love to get rid of it, but a part of me wants to keep the tiles and models to use with the old Leading Edge game. If I do that, however, I'd probably feel obliged to pick up the three (!) expansions required to get the other characters, as well as the queen and the power loader. If the game was good I'd have no qualms about doing that but, as it is, I'd just as soon ditch it.

The game scores three pips outta six with a tilt down into that Alien egg farm.

(NOTE: this rating is based on the 2020 game right out of the box. I'd rate the game a "3" - no tilt - with the 2023 rule set.)   

 

Monster Mash: "Horrified" Review

Horrified is a fully co-operative, objective-based horror game for one to five victims designed by Prospero Hall and published by Ravensburger.

Players take on the role of Heroes trying to defeat two or more famous Universal Monsters that are running amok all over town. On your turn use Action Points to move around the board, pick up handy items, guide Villagers to their destinations for beneficial Perk Cards or tap into your Special Ability. Via Physical, Intellectual and Spiritual Items you'll take Advance Actions to combat the fiends and (hopefully) a Defeat Action to overcome them. 

It sounds easy, but those monsters aren't going down without a fight! Every time they kill a villager or a hero, the Terror Track goes up by one and if it ever hits seven it's game over! This can also occur if the players fail to stem the tide of evil before the Monster Card deck is exhausted.

A huge part of the game's appeal is how thematic each creature's win condition is. For example, you have to smash all four of Dracula's coffins with Canes, Pokers and Shovels and then confront him with a plethora of Crosses, Stakes and Holy Water. The Mummy is considerably more complicated since you have to break the creature's curse by solving a sliding puzzle before entombing him with Pitchforks, Rifles and Torches.

The rules are both impressively intuitive and well presented. You'll rarely find yourself hunting through the manual to look something up, but if you do the answers are easily found. The game also looks fantastic with a sumptuously illustrated board, hero cards, monster mash...er, MATS and object tokens. The minis are also top notch. 

Veteran gamers who dismiss this one as "baby's first co-op" will be missing out on a remarkably well-crafted game. And if you don't think it's challenging enough, try tangling with four high to medium complexity monsters at once! 

This one scores five pips outta six with a big old tilt up towards that Gothic tower which suspiciously keeps getting hit over and over again with lightning.

 

MagicMania 2025

Greetings, Fellow Spell-Flingers!

My relationship with Magic: The Gathering is a long and storied one. Circa 1994 I went to a gaming event at Dalhousie University here in Halifax, saw that everyone was playing this weird new card game, picked up a few starter decks, tried it...and then immediately started buying booster packs like a rat on cocaine.

Notwithstanding the fact that I'd missed out on the previous editions and - in turn - failed to nab the legendary Power Nine, I'm still glad that I got into the game when I did. I was pretty much familiar with every single card in print, so whenever my opponent played something, l knew exactly what it did and how to deal with it. Even if I didn't, the text on those Revised cards was so clear and concise it was easy to adjudicate.

Nowadays, whenever my opponent tables a card I gotta sit there and blink for a few minutes as they rhyme off a dense wall of game text to me, lock in an interpretation of how it works and then puzzle out what my response needs to be. 

Sadly, the clarity and modest power levels of those early cards were soon muddied by a virtual conveyor belt of mediocre expansion sets, such as Fallen Empires, Ice Age, Homelands, Mirage and Visions. Between the one-two financial punch that was Magic and Decipher's Star Wars Collectible Card Game, I eventually grew tired frittering away my bi-weekly paycheck and started to move on to the relative "one-and-done" simplicity of board games like Catan. 

Occasionally I'd poke my nose back in to check out a new, heavily-promoted Core Set. However, if I had my time back, I would have eschewed these dalliances, since those glorified reprints are now barely worth the cardboard they're printed on. Instead I would have picked up the a few expansion set boosters here and there. Hindsight is 20/20 if only because a random Urza's Saga pack I bought on a whim back in 1998 netted me a Gaia's Cradle...which I recently hawked for $1100.00. Jezis. 

By the mid-2000's, the game had become waaaaay too vast and impenetrable for my taste, so I moved on to simpler fare. I returned briefly when Plansewalkers became a thing circa 2007, but otherwise board games occupied the lion's share of my time. So much so that the super-successful introduction of Commander play back in 2011 was barely a blip on my radar. 

So what pulled me back in? Well, I hate to be that guy, but it was totally "Universes Beyond"...namely the "Forgotten Realms" D&D set from July of 2021, followed by "Baldur's Gate" a year later and *sigh* "Journeys in Middle Earth" a year after that.

Why was this so alluring to me? Well, it's because Dominaria, Ravnica, Innistrad and Magic: The Gathering's other realms has always felt like Middle Earth or a D&D campaign setting with the serial numbers filed off. It's the same reason I've always turned up my nose at Fantasy Flight's Terrinoth - it just feels like a pale imitation of the more immersive, fleshed-out fantasy realms that I've come to know and love. 

I know hardcore Magic nerds (who justifiably love the original lore of their favorite game) are gonna hate me for this but, IMHO, only now has the game reached its final form as the legitimate child of Dungeons & Dragons and the grandchild of Lord of the Rings. I just wish it had happened back in 1995 before power creep and overly-confusing mechanics started to erode the game's inherent elegance.

Side note: as someone who's been there since the mid-90's, I completely understand the pain that Magic fans are currently feeling as Lizards of the Toast claws increasingly disparate  IP's into the mix. I'm positively baffled by the inclusion of such unrelated properties as Doctor Who, Spider-Man and next year's Star Trek. At least the sets I collected are fantasy related and didn't shoe-horn sonic screwdrivers, overdue rent and phasers into the mix.   

So, yes, I ended up obsessively collecting "Forgotten Realms", "Baldur's Gate" and "Middle Earth." And, even though I still think that Commander format - with it's obligatory card slot inclusions for Mana ramp, multiple wincons and board wipes - is vastly over-rated, I ended up buying all four of the Forgotten Realms decks. 

Given how thematic that set's cards generally were, the matching Commander Decks kinda disappointed me. Beyond the exclusive cards, it was clear that zero effort was put into customizing the reprints with D&D-specific art. Sadly, that led me to ignore the Baldur's Gate Commander Decks...resulting in a big 'ol bowl of regretti spaghetti now that all four of them are expensive AF.  

After delving into Journeys in Middle Earth, I noticed that WOTC had put considerably more effort into customizing the Commander Decks reprints with gloriously evocative Tolkien-appropriate art, so I decided to pick those up recently.

After cobbling together two more entirely original Commander Decks, I was left with the following:

(1) Aura of Courage 

Commander: Galea - Kindler of Hope

Lightly augmented Voltron deck. Basically hard-to-kill creatures loaded up with Auras and Equipment.

(2) Draconic Rage

Commander: Tiamat (replacing Vrondiss - Rage of Ancients)

Heavily-augmented rainbow Dragon deck. Basically a metric shit-ton of heavy hitting flyers. 

(3) Dungeons of Death

Commander: Sefris of the Hidden Ways

Moderately-augmented deck designed to plow through dungeons and juice the benefits of every chamber explored.

(4) Planar Portal

Commander: Prosper, Tome-Bound

Lightly augmented "play from Exile" deck.  

***

Then I made two decks based on Baldur's Gate characters. They are:

(5) Lae'zel's Legions

Commander: Lae'zel, Vlaakith's Champion. Background: Inspiring Leader

This one is chock-a-block with buffed-up Creature Tokens.

(6) Critical Hit!

Commander: Wyll, Blade of Frontiers

Optimally roll every possible polyhedral dice on the planet to annoy the bejesus out of your opponent. Basically it's revenge for every D&D sesh I've ever played where my average d20 roll is a "12."

***

And then there's the four LOTR's decks. None of these have been altered...yet. They are:

(7) Riders of Rohan 

Commander: Eowyn, Shieldmaiden

Flood the zone with a relentless conveyor belt of swole Creature Tokens. 

(8) Food and Fellowship

(Co)Commanders: Frodo, Adventurous Hobbit and Samwise, Loyal Attendant

Produce a metric crap ton of Food which you'll use for a variety of different exploits. 

(9) Elven Council

Commander: Galadriel, Elven-Queen

The same description of "Food and Fellowship" except replace "Food" with "Elves." Oh, you can also apparently vote on stuff for some weird reason. 

(10) The Hosts of Mordor

Commander: Sauron, Lord of the Rings

Make the world's largest Orc army and bring shit back from the dead. 'Nuff said.

***

Soooo, what to do with all these new Commander Decks? Why, you do a mini tournament, 'natch!

ROUND ONE

Elven Council versus Planar Portal

Turn One

The Council starts first, drawing seven cards but foregoing their draw for turn. They play a Flooded Grove and pass the turn.

Prosper draws seven cards and then once for turn. He then plays a Mountain and ends his turn.

Turn Two

Galadriel draws for turn, plays a Forest, taps both and brings out her Mirror. Turn ends!

Prosper draws a card and then plays Spinerock Knoll, which comes into play tapped. The Land's Hideaway feature activates, so he draws four cards, Exiles Apex of Power and then Buries the rest at the bottom of his Library. Turn complete!  

Turn Three

Galadriel draws a card, plays a Forest, taps it to fuel Flooded Grove, taps that for a Forest / Island then taps the final Forest to cast Erestor of the Council. The turn then ends.

Prosper draws, plays a Swamp, taps it as well as the Knoll for a Rakdos Signet. They can't afford to play Apex of Power, so it goes into perma-Exile. With that, their turn is done.

Turn Four

Galadriel draws, plays an Island and drains their entire Mana pool to bring out Galadriel herself! Erestor of the Council attacks, causing two points of damage and the turn ends.

Prosper draws a card, plays a Mountain and then taps said land to trigger the Signet, producing a Swamp and a Mountain. With another Mountain and Swamp they play Gonti, Lord of Luxury. Among the four cards revealed, he exiles Genesis Wave and then randomly places the other three at the bottom of the deck. 

Turn Five

Galadriel draws, plays an Exotic Orchard and casts Opt with an Island. They reveal a Forest, bury it and then draw a card. Since Gonti has Deathtouch, she holds off on an attack and passes the turn. 

Prosper draws for turn, tables a Mountain then plays Prosper himself! He then taps the Signet to get enough Mana to cast Dead Man's Chest on Galadriel! Gonti attacks and is let through for two points. Prosper then Exiles a Mountain from the top of their deck and ends their turn. 

Turn Six

Galadriel draws, plays a tapped Woodland Stream, then spends five Mana in total to bring out Haldir! Since an Elf entered the battlefield, Galadriel's "vote" ability triggers! She selects Dominion and Prosper picks Guidance. Since this is a tie, she draws a card! Then Erestor's ability gives her a Scrye 1 for the opposite vote. She top decks the card, draws it and then ends the turn.

Prosper draws, plays the Mountain in Exile and produces a Treasure token (1) from this! With five Mana, he casts Meteor Swarm and splits eight points of damage between Haldir and Erestor, killing both! He then attacks with Gonti and deals two points of damage. Finally, Prosper Exiles a random Swamp from the top of their deck and ends their turn. 

Turn Seven

Galadriel draws and plays Vineglimmer Snarl tapped. She casts Beast Within on Prosper, returning him to the Command Zone and putting a 3/3 Beast token into play. She can't do much else, so she passes the turn.

After drawing a Swamp, six Mana is spent to bring Prosper back. The Swamp in Exile enters the battlefield, gaining him another Treasure (2). These two Treasures (plus two other Mana) are spent to play Tectonic Giant. Gonti delivers two more damage, since Galadriel refuses to chump block. After Pontiff of Blight is Exiled by Prosper, his turn ends. 

Turn Eight

Galadriel draws an Arcane Signet and plays it for two Mana. She then activates her Mirror with four Mana. She performs a Scrye 1, top decks the card, draws it and then passes the turn.

Prosper draws a Swashbuckler Extraordinaire. He then casts the Pontiff from Exile for six Mana, gaining a Treasure (1). Next up is Chaos Warp for three Mana (the remaining two plus the new Treasure) but Galadriel casts Heroic Intervention for two and the spell fizzles. He then attacks with the Giant (3/4), Gonti (2/3) and the 3/3 Beast. The Tectonic Giant's first ability causes three direct damage to Galadriel. The Elf Queen blocks the Beast and kills it, but Gonti and the Giant deliver five more points! Prosper then Exiles a Xorn and concludes his turn!

Turn Nine

Rejuvenating Springs enters play tapped. Then Galadriel resolves Learn from the Past for four Mana, reshuffling her own discard pile and drawing a Tranquil Thicket. She then passes the turn.    

Prosper draws, plays a Swamp and then allocates three Mana for the Xorn, which nets him two new Treasures (NOTE: Would Prosper's Treasure acquisition get juiced by the Xorn's special ability after the latter is played from Exile? Lemme know!). He then taps three Swamp to Extort with three of his Creatures, since the Pontiff grants this power to every one of them. Galadriel loses three life and Prosper gains three. For three Mana the Swashbuckler enters play, creating two more Treasures for a total of four. When Gonti, the Pontiff and the Tectonic Giant all attack, the Giant's special ability causes three points of direct damage to the Elf Queen. In response, she plays Galadhrim Ambush, which creates three 1/1 Elves. Galadriel blocks the Giant and kills it while the three Elves swarm Gonti and they all die "thanks" to the Deathtouch. The Pontiff gets through for two points of damage. She's currently at 18 and he's at 41. Before ending his turn, Prosper draws and exiles an Exotic Orchard.

Turn Ten

Galadriel draws, plays a tapped Tranquil Thicket and then activates her Mirror for four Mana. She top-decks the drawn card, picks it up and then brings out Gandalf, Westward Voyager for five Mana! Tapped out, she passes the turn. 

Prosper plays the Exotic Orchard from Exile, gaining yet another two Treasures, bringing him up to six! For one Swamp and one Mountain he casts a Rakdos Charm to destroy the Mirror! Since a spell was cast, he activates the Pontiff, spending three Swamps to Extort with three creatures causing three points of direct damage (she's at 15) and gaining three to reach 44! He then spends five Mana (and one Treasure...supply now at five) to play Genesis Wave from Exile! The three cards drawn are Commune With Lava, a Swamp and an Arcane Signet. The Instant goes into the graveyard and the latter two cards enter the battlefield. He Exiles a Sphere of Annihilation and then ends his turn!

Turn Eleven

Galadriel draws, plays a Forest, drops Seeds of Renewal and retrieves Genesis Wave and the Mirror! She brings back the Mirror for two Mana, taps three to activate it and gets the Devastation Tide into her hands! Since she's tapped out, she passes the turn!

Prosper Draws Grim Bounty and plays it immediately on Galadriel for four Mana! This nets him another two Treasure Tokens (for a total of seven...that Xorn is working overtime!) and then Dead Man's Chest activates! This Exiles four cards: a Forest, Raise the Palisade, Trap the Trespassers and Sail into the West! He then casts Sphere of Annihilation from Exile with four Mana, producing another two Treasure and priming the artifact to cause five damage! This lets him tap four Mana to Extort with four creatures, causing four points of damage (she's at 11) and giving Prosper four to total 48! Finally he Exiles Vandalblast and ends his turn!

Turn Twelve

Galadriel draws and then plays Devastation Tide for five Mana, sending all of Prosper's creatures back into his hand and Prosper himself to the Command Zone! Then Galadriel returns with her six remaining Mana! Gandalf attacks, dealing five points of damage, putting Prosper at 43 and ending the turn.

Prosper draws an Eldritch Pact then triggers their Sphere of Annihilation, killing both Galadriel and Gandalf! They then pay eight Mana to bring out Prosper again and an additional three for the Xorn. Next up is tabling Vandalblast from Exile for one Mountain, destroying the Mirror (again!) and generating two more Treasures, three of which are burned to bring out the Swashbuckler. This immediately adds two more Treasures, bringing them back up to six! He then Exiles the Elder Brain and passes the turn!

Turn Thirteen

Galadriel draws, drops a Forest and plays Genesis Wave...tapping out with twelve Mana! Out of what's drawn, Overwhelming Stampede and Heroic Intervention go into the Graveyard while two Forests, an Island and Hinterland Harbor enter the Battlefield. An Elvish Archdruid also appears, but - sadly - there are no Elves to boost. A Mirkwood Elk also drops, but - sadly - there are no Elves in the Graveyard...WHOMP! WHOMP! Lightning Greaves (with its free Equip cost) goes right on the Elk. Thanks to the addition of four new land, she also plays Cultivate and drops a tapped Forest while keeping the Island in hand. Turn ends!

Prosper draws a Commander Sphere. For seven Mana the Elder Brain comes out, earning two more Treasures...bringing the tally up to eight! Then six Mana is used to materialize the Pontiff of Blight. He then pays five Treasures and Extorts with his five Creatures, bringing Galadriel down to six Life. 

Galadriel concedes and Prosper wins!!!

***

I thought that by taking copious notes during the match I wouldn't bork anything up, but I often lost the plot RE: available Mana, various expenditures and the Treasure count. Not that such minutia really matters considering how much Prosper was dominating the match and it's highly unlikely that Galadriel's fortunes would have improved on Turn Thirteen. 

Yes, the Elf Queen suffered through some pretty awful luck (witness the mournful results of that "Hail Mary" Genesis Wave), but clearly the deck needs some work. I think I'm gonna sack this version of Galadriel and sub in more Elf swarm cards, Elf buffs and Scrye stuff in lieu of the cumbersome "voting" element.  

Prior to this match, I couldn't understand why Prosper was so well regarded as a Commander, but now I do! His ability to set aside another cast-able option and generate Treasure from it is kind of amazing!

***

Draconic Rage versus Riders of Rohan

Turn One

Tiamat plays Exotic Orchard and passes the turn.

Eowyn draws then plays an Island and passes the turn. 

Turn Two

Tiamat draws, plays Crucible of the Spirit Dragon, taps the Orchard and adds a Spirit Counter to it.

Eowyn draws, plays a Plains and then brings out Prince Imrahil the Fair. Ends turn.

Turn Three

Tiamat draws, plays a Mountain and then Livaan, Cultist of Tiamat for three Mana and then ends her turn.

Eowyn draws, plays and cracks an Evolving Wilds, finds and flops a tapped Plains and then ends their turn. Since this technically isn't a Draw, Imrahil's ability doesn't pop. Passes turn. 

Turn Four

Tiamat draws, tables a Swamp, taps a Mountain, plays a Sol Ring, taps the Ring and drops  an Arcane Signet. This combined casting cost makes the Cultist 4/3. It attacks, and it's let through. Eowyn takes four points of damage and the turn ends. 

Eowyn draws, plays a Wind Scarred Crag tapped and gains a Life. She then taps three Mana and plays a Commander's Sphere. Imrahil attacks, inflicting two points of damage before concluding their turn. 

Turn Five

Tiamat draws, plays a Forest and then taps seven Mana for Tiamat herself!!! She retrieves five Dragons from the deck...one of each color! With eight cards in hand, she's forced to discard a Mountain. Ends turn.

Eowyn draws then plays Zealous Conscripts, steals Tiamat away and then attacks with her as well as their Haste-y new arrival, causing ten points of damage (the Cultist doesn't block)! Now tapped out, they pass the turn.

Turn Six

Tiamat draws then plays a Black Dragon with seven Mana, reducing the Conscripts by -3/-3 and killing them. She then attacks with Tiamat, causing seven points of (Commander) damage, noting that it's 21 for the early win! Turn concludes.

Eowyn draws and plays her namesake for five Mana. Tapped out, they end their turn.

Turn Seven

Tiamat draws, plays a Wrathful Red Dragon and then attacks with her namesake as well as the Black Dragon for a total of eleven damage! Eowyn is down to 19... 14 of which is Commander Damage! They then spend one Island and one Forest to play Korlessa then pass the turn.

Eowyn draws and plays Throne of the High City. In a desperate move, they bring out Boromir for four Mana. She draws six cards, keeps Denethor, randomly buries the remaining cards at the bottom of the deck and then plays the Stone Seer for two Mana. (NOTE: was this supposed to trigger Imrahil's "second draw" power?) Eowyn produces a pair of 2/2 Knights! Since she now controls six Humans, she draws a card and snags Aragorn, King of Gondor! Is it a matter of "too little, too late"? Hoping for a miracle, she Scrye's the next two Land Cards to the bottom of the deck! Tapped out, she passes the turn.

Turn Eight

Tiamat draws and then plays Miirym, Sentinel Wyrm for six Mana! Tiamat, the Wrathful Red Dragon and the Black Dragon all attack for a total of sixteen unblockable flying damage. More importantly, this makes for exactly twenty-one Commander Damage...ending the match!

Tiamat wins!

***

What a brutal shit-kicking! Clearly if Tiamat can get up to speed quickly, the constant conveyor belt of heavy hitting flyers is just punishing.

How a high-cost rainbow deck managed to ramp quicker than a tri-color Human swarm deck is beyond me. I think luck played a pretty heavy role here. Eowyn is actually a really good Commander, but even if I'd gotten her out earlier it wouldn't have made much of a  difference against one sortie after another of heavy bombers. 

***

Lae'zel's Legions versus Dungeons of Death

Turn One

Lae'zel only draws one land, so she opts to mulligan. Now content with her hand, so she plays a Plains and then passes the turn.

Sefris draws, plays a Command Tower, drops a Sol Ring and then ends their turn.

Turn Two

Lae'zel draws, plays a Swamp, taps both lands for a Horn of Valhalla and then ends their turn,

Sefris draws, plays a Swamp and then brings out the Ravenloft Adventurer with four Mana, which gives them the Initiative. This - in  turn - lets them venture into the Undercity, locate a land in their deck (a Plains) and then add it to their hand. Turn ends! 

Turn Three

Lae'zel draws, plays an Island and brings out her namesake for three. She's tapped out, so her turn ends!

Sefris draws. Since she still has the Initiative at the start of her upkeep, she ventures into the Undercity! Sefris then taps three Mana to play...Sefris! She opts to Forge, giving the Adventurer two +1/+1 counters and making them 5/6! The Ravenloft Adventurer attacks and it's let through for five damage. Turn ends! 

Turn Four

Lae'zel draws, reveals a Plains and then plays Inspiring Leader. She then passes the turn.

Sefris draws and tables a Plains. Since she still has the Initiative at the start of her Upkeep, she ventures into the Undercity and decides to Trap, causing five points of damage to Lae'zel! For five Mana, out comes Planar Ally. The Ravenloft Adventurer attacks and it's let through for five damage for a total of fifteen so far. Turn ends! 

Turn Five

Lae'zel draws, plays a Forest and then brings out a Bulette! Virtually tapped out, she passes the turn.

Sefris draws and plays Orzhov Basilica tapped, forcing the return of a Plains to her hand. Still in possession of the Initiative at the start of her Upkeep, she ventures into the Undercity, hits up the Archives and draws a card! Then, for four Mana she casts Utter End, returning Lae'zel to the Command Zone! The Ravenloft Adventurer attacks and it's let through for five damage, totaling twenty so far. Turn ends! 

Turn Six

Lae'zel draws, casts a Priest of Ancient Lore for three Mana, gains a Life, draws a card and then passes the turn.

Sefris draws and plays a Plains. Since she still has the Initiative, she ventures into the Undercity at the start of her upkeep, triggering the final Dungeon chamber: Throne of the Dead Three. A whopping ten cards are revealed from her deck. Out of them she puts a Radiant Solar onto the Battlefield with three (!) +1/+1 counters on it, boosting it up to a 6/9! Upon the Solar's arrival, she Ventures into the Lost Mines of Phandelver, which lets her Scrye 1 at the Cave Entrance. Then both the Planar Ally and the Adventurer attacks! This triggers another Venture and she chooses a Treasure Token! The Priest chump blocks the Adventurer and dies, going into Exile instead. This activates the Bulette, which gets a +1/+1 token (NOTE: this only happens on the owner's end step). This also lets Sefris select the Dark Pool in the Mines, dropping Lae'zel by one and boosting Sefris back up to 40 Life. Lae'zel then takes three points of damage from the flying Ally! Turn complete!

Turn Seven

Lae'zel draws, spends five Mana to re-cast her namesake. Sadly that taps her out, so she's done!

Sefris draws and plays a Plains card. Via the Initiative she re-enters the Undercity, letting her add an Island from deck to hand. Precipitous Drop then Exiles the Bulette with a Hit Token. This triggers Sefris, so she advances one space into the Mines, finishing it off with a Card Draw! For three Mana, she casts a Yuan-Ti Fang-Blade, two more for a Yuan-Ti Malison and then spends Treasure to play a Ranger's Hawk. This activates the Radiant Solar three times, so they re-start the Mines by Scrye-ing 1 and then creating a Treasure. She then performs a Scrye 2 in the Undercity. The Adventurer attacks and Lae'zel loses two Life, one for each hit counters on the Exiled creatures. She then attacks with the Planar Ally, venturing into the first chamber of the Dungeon of the Mad Mage and gaining a Life back to sit at 41. She also attacks with the Radiant Solar, getting six Life back via Lifelink. Lae'zel doesn't block, so the total damage is fourteen leaving her with a single Life point! The turn is passed!

Turn Eight

Hoping for board wipe, Lae'zel draws...but is forced to concede.

Dungeons of Death wins!

***

This one surprised me. In the prelims, Inspiring Leader Lae'zel did quite well with her combination of buffing tokens and piling on counters. In the past, the Dungeon deck has been an underwhelming dud, but maybe the subs I did recently actually had a positive impact. 

One issue the Dungeon Deck has never struggled with is Ramp. At the end, Lae'zel only had five Mana sources to seven flexible ones for Sefris. Obviously I need to tweak this.

Sefris also tabled a lot of  lethal l'il creatures that really drove those handy dungeon delves. Still not sure how this deck will hold up against something as brutal as Tiamat or tricksy as Prosper.

***

Food and Fellowship versus Critical Hit

Turn One

Frodo plays a Necroblossom Snarl and passes the turn. 

Starting with only one Land, Wyll mulligans his starting hand. Content with the re-do, he draws a card, plays a Swamp and passes the turn.         

Turn Two

Frodo draws, plays a Swamp and then taps both for an Arcane Signet. Turn ends.

Wyll draws, plays a tapped Sea Gate as a Mountain, then taps the Swamp for Wayfarers Bauble. Ends turn.

Turn Three

Frodo draws, plays Path of Ancestry tapped, then uses the Signet and the Swamp to bring out Frodo himself! Passes turn. 

Wyll draws, plays an Island, taps the Seagate and the Island to bring out Wyll's avatar! Turn ends.

Turn Four

Frodo draws, plays Sandsteppe Citadel tapped and brings out Sam for three Mana! As Frodo attacks, Sam creates a Food which is immediately sacked using one Swamp to bring bringing the Hobbitses up to 43. Wyll doesn't block, so he takes one (Commander) damage and Frodo is tempted by the Ring. Turn ends. 

Wyll draws, flops a Swamp, plays Goblin Morningstar for two Mana and rolls a "10" and "13." He takes the later, plays a 1/1 Goblin immediately armed with the Morningstar and Wyll goes up to 2/2. He taps two more, cracks the Bauble, plays a tapped Mountain then shuffles. Turn passes. 

Turn Five

Frodo draws, taps two Mana to play Dawn of Hope and then two more to use Go for the Throat to kill Wyll! At the start of the Combat Phase, Sam makes some grub, which is immediately sacrificed for three Life via one Mana...they're now at 46! Frodo attacks and the Ring tempts him again. His special ability allows for a card draw and then he he pulls another thanks to the Ring. The latter use prompts a discard so he throws out Savvy Hunter. Wyll takes a point of damage (Commander 2) and then ends the turn ends. 

Wyll draws a card, then plays another Island. He then re-casts his avatar for four Mana and passes the turn.

Turn Six

Frodo draws, plays a Sol Ring and casts a Great Oak Guardian, which buffs Sam up to 4/6 and Frodo to 3/5! Sam produces a Food and the two Commanders attack! Unfortunately, since he's tapped out, the Food are packed away as leftovers and Frodo's ability doesn't trigger! His Ring power does, however, so he draws a Forest and throws out Mirkwood Bats! The Goblin blocks Sam and is killed but they still take three more damage from Frodo...that five Commander damage so far! He then plays a Forest during the second Main Phase, the counters go away and the turn ends!          

Wyll draws a card and materializes a Clay Golem with four Mana. He then spends two Mana to play Cast Down on the Great Oak Guardian, destroying it. Passes turn.

Turn Seven

Frodo draws. For a whopping eight Mana he produces the Woodfall Primus, destroying Sea Gate upon its arrival! Frodo attacks and inflicts a point of damage (Commander 6). He draws a card - thanks to the Ring - and gets a Commander Sphere, which he immediately throws away! Turn ends. 

Wyll draws, equips the Morningstar to the Golem for two Mana and then casts Vexing Puzzlebox for three. Now tapped out, the turn ends. 

Turn Eight

Frodo draws and then plays Field Tested Frying Pan for three Mana, which immediately attaches to a 1/1 Hobbit. He then taps a Plains and casts Swords to Plowshares on the Golem! Wyll regains five Life. Frodo then pays a single Mana to Sacrifice a Food, gaining three Life...he's now up to 49! After paying two Mana (and getting a card from Dawn of Hope), Sam creates a Food...and everyone attacks! Wyll doesn't block so its a total of nine  damage...six from the Primus and three from the dual Commanders (NOTE: the Pan-equipped Hobbit has summoning sickness!). He's down to 30, with 9 of that being Commander Damage. Frodo's Ring Temptation ticks up by one and he gets a card from his Ability as well as from the Ring. After discarding a Plains he ends his turn. 

Wyll draws and then casts Ray of Enfeeblement on Sam, banishing him to the Commander Zone! After bringing out a Bag of Devouring he sacrifices the Morningstar by tapping two and the Bag itself. This lets him draw a card. Unfortunately, his turn ends on a whimper as he plays a Mountain and passes.

Turn Nine

Frodo draws, puts down a Swamp and then plays Farmer Cotton for two Mana and burns another seven (!) for "X". That's seven new Food (!!) and seven 1/1 Hobbit tokens!!! The Primus attacks and Wyll begrudgingly lets it through for six points of damage. He relinquishes the turn.

Wyll draws, casts Thunderwave for four Mana, rolls an "8" and a "17" and then bumps up to a 2/2. With the later result he chooses Wyll to be exempt and every other creature takes three points of damage! Frodo and all of the Halflings are killed and the Puzzlebox gets a whopping twenty-five counters! Then he taps the Puzzlebox, rolls a "14" and a "19", makes his avatar 3/3, and adds nineteen more counters to the Box...which brings the total up to forty-four. He then ends his turn.

Turn Ten

Frodo draws and plays an Access Tunnel. For nine Mana he brings back both Frodo and Sam, then Sacrifices a Food (tapping one Mana), gains three Life and bumps up to 52. He then attacks with the Primus. Unwilling to chump block, Wyll takes six points of damage. Thanks to the Ring, Frodo draws a card and then discards a Swamp. He then draws another card via his special ability and ends his turn.

Wyll draws for turn and then plays Prophetic Prism for two Mana. This lets him pull another card and play a Mountain. He then casts Meteor Swarm for five Mana, trashing both Farmer Cotton and the Primus! He then taps the Puzzlebox, rolls a d20, goes up to 4/4, gets an "8" and a "2" and goes up to fifty-two counters! He then passes the turn.

Turn Eleven

Frodo draws, plops down a Forest and then plays Revive the Shire for two Mana, retrieving the Great Oak Guardian and gaining a Food. He then casts the Guardian for six...giving both Frodo and Sam a +2/+2 boost. For two Mana, Sam finally gets his pan! He then uses said skillet to prepare a Food, which is immediately sacrificed for one Mana to gain three Life...they're now at 55! Once again Frodo is tempted by the Ring, putting him on the fourth tier, which causes another three damage! Sam's now juiced by another +3/+3 and is at a 'roided out 7/9. Wyll can only block Frodo, which means seven more points get through...he's at 8 Life!

Wyl concedes...Food and Fellowship wins!

***

In replaying this match for pics, there were at least two occasions where I attacked with a creature or a token on the same turn and hit the table. I blame it getting distracted by life, stepping away from the table momentarily and then forgetting when I'd cast something by the time I got back. 

Even so, it's not like summoning sickness is some confusing new mechanic. Like, seriously...WTF??? I'll be the first to admit that it's a noob move but - in my defense -  there's a whole lotta board state to keep track of nowadays... 

Anyhoo, I corrected the situation as best I could and - considering the Life total of the Hobbitses versus Wyll (plus all that Commander damage), I don't think a surrender was unreasonable. 

Mana count: 10 for the Hobbits and 7 regular land for Wyll.

This one is plagued by the same issue as the Lae'zel deck: it's just not a killer. It's a bunch of random "roll dice to see what you get" cards with scarcely any thought paid to extra "wincons", Mana ramp, board wipes and a slew of other boring, obligatory card slot inclusions.

In order to make this thing more effective I'm gonna hafta dismantle it, Marie Kondo every single card and address the lack of Mana flexibility. 

***

The Hosts of Mordor versus Aura of Courage

Turn One

Sauron mulligans and redraws. Content with the new hand, he plays a Swamp and passes the turn.

With only one initial land, Galea also mulligans. Keeps second hand, plays Terramorphic Expanse and cracks it for a Plains. Passes turn. 

Turn Two

Sauron draws, plays a Drowned Catacomb and passes the turn.

Galea draws, plays a tapped Simic Growth Chamber and the Plains goes back in hand! With eight cards in hand they're forced to throw out a Geode Golem.

Turn Three

Sauron draws, plays a Mountain and then passes the turn.

Galea draws, plays a Plains and then spends two Mana for an Arcane Signet. She then taps two remaining Mana for Sram, Senior Artificer. Ends turn.

Turn Four

Sauron draws...but keeps pulling land! He plays a Sunken Hollow and passes the turn.

Galea draws and then plays her namesake via four Mana. Attacks with Sram, causing two points of damage and then surrenders the turn. 

Turn Five

Sauron draws, plays Sulfur Springs and then Orcish Siegemaster for three. Concedes the turn.

Galea draws then plays / equips the Sword of Hours on Galea. This triggers Sram's ability, so he draws and then plays a Tapped Port Town. Vigilant Galea attacks and immediately buffs up to a 5/5. It's let through for five damage, prompting a d12 roll, but the resulting "2" produces no effect. Passes turn.

Turn Six

Sauron draws then reveals a Smoldering Marsh. For six Mana he plays Boon of the Wish Giver and draws four cards! Now burdened with eight cards, he's forced to discard a Mountain before passing the turn.

Galea untaps, looks at the top card of her deck, replaces it and then draws. She does another top deck peek and replaces the card. For two Mana she plays Eel Umbra on Sram and draws a card. Once again she checks out the top card of the deck, but immediately returns it. For two Mana he summons a Dwarfhold Champion then attacks with Galea (who goes to 6/6) as well as Sram! The Siegemaster blocks the Dwarf and lets Galea through for six damage! That's eleven total Commander Damage so far! A "5" is rolled on the d12, so there's no additional effect. She passes the turn! 

Turn Seven

Sauron draws and then lays out a Sulfur Falls. He tables Feed the Swarm for two Mana, sends Galea to the Command Zone and loses four Life. For five more Mana he conjures up the Siege Gang Commander (2/2), producing three 1/1 Goblin tokens! He then passes the turn.

Galea draws and then plays a tapped Seaside Citadel. She gives the 3/1 Champion the Sword of Hours for two Mana, boosting him up to 3/3. She then casts Rancor on the Dwarf for a Forest....he's now at 5/3! With this, Sram draws a card. Via her two remaining Mana she forges a  +2 Mace. Sram draws again! She then attacks with the Champion, who goes up to 6/4 with Trample! Sauron blocks with everything, so the Champion kills the Siegemaster (0/5) and a Goblin tokens but is also murdered in the process. The Commander lives! Rancor goes back into Galea's hand and the turn ends!

Turn Eight

Sauron draws and then plays Frostboil Snarl tapped. After laying out Too Greedily, Too Deep he steals the Geode Golem from Galea's graveyard! It deals five points of damage to every creature, killing the two Goblins, the Commander and Sram! The Totem Armor of the Eel Umbra is discarded...leaving Sram on the field! Passes turn.

Galea draws and plays a Forest. For six Mana she brings back Galea and passes the turn.

Turn Nine

Sauron draws and then plays his avatar for a whopping eight Mana! Five Orcs are Amassed, he mills five cards and then returns the Orcish Siegemaster to the battlefield. He then attacks with the Geode Golem and it's let through, dealing five damage to Galea. He then relinquishes the turn.

Galea draws and drops Lumbering Falls in tapped. She equips the Sword of Hours to Galea for two Mana (still at 4/4) and then uses three more to cast a Dancing Sword (now 4/3) and equip it to Sram. After drawing a card for this, she uses one Mana to play Brainstorm, drawing three cards then returning two to the top of deck. Passes turn. 

Turn Ten

Sauron draws then plays Shelob for four Mana and Saruman the White for another four. He then attacks with the Orc Army (5), Sauron (9), the Orcish Siegemaster (9) and the Geode Golem (5), that twenty-eight damage! Desperate to avoid a complete reset again, Galea lets it all through and passes the turn. (NOTE: Commander damage is at 9!)

Galea draws, plays Mishra's Factory and then casts Winds of Rath for five Mana, destroying all non-Enchanted creatures and annihilating Sauron's entire army! For four Mana she then drops in Blessed Hippogriff! Galea and Sram both attack, with the former instantly getting a +1/+1 boost thanks to the sword. She's at 5/5 and Sram at 4/3. That's a total of nine damage, leaving Sauron with fourteen Life. The d12 roll for the Sword of Hours is "12"...doubling Galea's Sword counters. She's now at 6/6! The turn is conceded.

Turn Eleven

Sauron draws. For a whopping eight Mana he plays Decree of Pain...killing Galea, Sram and the Hippogriff! The Dancing Sword becomes a 2/1 flying Construct! He draws three cards, plays a Swamp and then ends the turn.           

Galea draws and then plays a Fortified Village tapped. Next up the Knight of Autumn (2/1) hits the table for three Mana and she regains four Life! She then pays two Mana to Equip the Sword of Hours and three more to Equip the Dancing Sword with the +2/+2 Mace...it's at 4/3! Finally she pays a single Forest to give it +2 Power via Rancor...the Knight is now at 6/3! It attacks - gaining +1/+1 (7/4) - and causes seven damage! The d12 roll is "9" so the counters double...it's at 8/4!!! The turn ends. 

Turn Twelve

Sauron draws, plays an Island and brings out a Goblin Cratermaker for two Mana and a Merciless Executioner for three. Sauron sacrifices the Goblin and Galea loses the Knight. Via Faithless Looting for one Mountain, the Dark Lord draws two Cards and throws out both a Swamp and a Basalt Monolith. Sauron may be holding Bitter Downfall right now - and even has the four Mana required to cast it - but doesn't have the extra Mana required to overcome the Construct's Ward 1! Noooooo!!! Passes turn. 

Galea draws, plays a Flood Plain tapped, casts Galea for eight Mana. Attacks with the Dancing Sword, which is now at 9/5! The Executioner can only block one point and the Rancor gives the Sword Trample so Sauron takes eight points of damage...ending the match! 

Galea wins!

***

Wow, this one was nuts. The best match of the preliminary round by a country mile! 

(FULL DISCLOSURE: when I was originally taking notes for the match I didn't notice the Ward 1 attribute on the Dancing Sword. It literally came down to this feature and Sauron lacking a single Mana!)   

This match shows just how critical board wipes are, especially in Commander. When this happens back to back it becomes the gaming equivalent of a lone pistol being dropped on the floor in the middle of a stand off. Whoever can pick that gun up and fire it first is typically the victor...but this conclusion was considerably more interesting.          

NOTE: it's no co-incidence that my two "built from the ground up" decks got brutalized. I.E. the Mana situation for the both the Lae'zel and Wyll decks is clearly vastly inferior to the precons. 

***

ROUND TWO

The qualifiers:

(1) Aura of Courage 

(2) Draconic Rage

(3) Dungeons of Death

(4) Planar Portal

(5) Food and Fellowship

 With a roll of "1", Galea gets a "by." 

 First match:

Food and Fellowship versus Planar Portal

To be continued...