Chainsaw Battle - Part Two - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse

I have no ides what "Saturn in retrograde" cosmic madness led to both Funko Games and Trick or Treat Studios producing games based on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre this year, but it kinda brings to mind the following classic confrontation in the 1986 sequel: 

I know I'm probably in the minority here, but I actually think Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 doesn't get enough love. If the producers of the film properly recognized the immeasurable contributions of Gunnar Hansen to the first movie and brought him back as Leatherface, I think it would have been the perfect sequel.

Sorry, I digress.

Anyhoo, rather than a-fussin' and a-feudin', I decided to pick up both games. But what if you can't? What if you have to choose between the two? Well, I'm here to compare both of them and help you make an informed decision RE: which one you should add to your bone, er, game collection.

I tackled Trick or Treat's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game last time out and on this occasion I'll be exploring the Funko Games offering: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse. 

So, what's the grave-robbing scuttlebutt on this one? Well, feel free to read the following opening crawl in John Larroquette's stately voice, taken directly from the source:

One person plays as the deranged Sawyer family, dragging victims to their farmhouse and harvesting their meat for a grizzly barbecue. The other players are the unwitting trespassers, doing everything they can to escape a hideous fate. But in this game, there are no winners—there are only survivors. Will you make it out alive, or end up on the menu? 

Looking for the full police report? Then click on the following rulebook link for all the gory details! 

***

TURN OVERVIEW

Trespassers

(NOTE: Trespassers can take their turns in any order)

1. Take Actions

Take up to four Actions, including:

Move: Move into an adjacent space. Generate Noise if you move through a Door.

Run: Make Noise and move two spaces. For each Door you Run through, add one Noise token.

Search: In any space with a Question Mark, you can produce Noise and roll two Dice. For each Success, draw one card from the location-appropriate Item Deck. Keep one and Bury the rest at the bottom of that same deck.

Swap: Exchange any number of Items with one other Trespasser in the same space. This doesn’t generate Noise.

2. Roll two Dice. 

For each success, discard one Noise Token.

3. Give Fear 

Flip all remaining Noise Tokens to the Fear side and give them to the Sawyer Player.

After all Trespassers have performed their own four Actions, reset all of their Actions to four.   

Sawyer Turn Overview

1. Draw Sawyer Family Cards 

One or two for free, dependent on Panic Meter. Additional Cards can be purchased for two Fear apiece.

2. Take Sawyer Turns

One at a Time in any order. Possible Actions:

Move one space.

Hunt a Hidden Trespasser in your space. Roll one die and reveal the Trespasser with a Success. 

Attack or perform a Character-Specific Action as detailed on their individual boards. 

3. Reset Actions 

Back to the Character's full amount.   

***

"Who Will Survive?" Scenario "A" Play Through

Round One

Gray Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Gray Moves out into the Foyer and into the Nook, making a Noise in the process since they moved through a Door. They then Search (generating another Noise), rolling two dice and get one Slash / Success. This allows them to reveal a single card from the Downstairs Item Deck, getting Bandages, which they pocket. A Searched Token is placed in that spot. 

RULES NOTE: Trespassers can only hold four Items, Personal Items don’t count towards this limit. 

They then move northward into the Study and Search again, with this combo generating another two Noise. They roll zero Successes, so nothing is found! 

2. Roll for Noise: One Slash rolled, so one Noise is returned. 

3. Give Fear: The remaining three Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue creeps into the Dining Room, making a Noise in the process since they moved through a Door. They then Search (generating another Noise), roll two dice but get zero Slashes / Successes. A Searched Token is placed in that space. 

They then move westward, further into the Dining Room, revealing the Horror Token! It’s a "Secret Passage", which lets the Cook pop up in that space! (NOTE: a Trespasser’s “move immediately ends” when they reveal a Horror Token)  The Blue Trespasser still has one Action left, so he swings at the Cook with his Pocket Knife! He gets two Slashes...and the Cook loses two Actions!

2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes are rolled, so both Noise Tokens are returned to supply! 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green uses the creaky Stairs to move from downstairs to upstairs, which makes Noise. They then venture from this upstairs landing into the Old Man’s Room, generating Noise when they move through the Door. They then Search (making another Noise), roll two dice and get one Slash / Success, with their Flashlight adding another result! This allows them to reveal two cards from the Upstairs Item Deck, turning up Gasoline and a Bone Shard. After keeping the Gas and Burying the Shard, a Searched Token is placed in that space. 

They then back out into the hall again through the Door, generating one more Noise.  

2. Roll for Noise: Since no Slashes are rolled, no Noise is returned! The Sawyer Player then pays three Fear to play “Should Be More Careful.” Since the Green Trespasser had four Noise before rolling, the Panic Meter goes up by one and each (!!!) Trespasser draws a Desperation Card!  

3. Give Fear: Four Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free. 

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man tries a Wallop on the Blue Trespasser, but misses! Since he only has one Action left, he tries again! This time he scores two hits, drawing a Head and Arm injury. He opts for the Head, forcing the Blue Trespasser to throw out their “Through Broken Glass” Desperation Card!   

3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.   

ROUND TWO

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey inches into the northern side of the Study, through the Door (making a Noise in the process) and into the Wash Room. In reaction to this, the Sawyer player spends two Fear to table “Unexpected Horrors”, dropping an unused Horror Tile onto their space, which turns out to be “Putrid.” They’re forced to “go back one space”, which I interpret to mean that they have to go back the way they came, I.E. into the Study. I also assume it generates another Noise when they go back through the Door. Since they only moved one space, they still have three Actions left, so they exhaust this to cross the other half of the Study, through the Nook and finally back into the Foyer. This generates two more Noise! 

2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes are rolled, so no Noise Tokens are returned to supply! 

3. Give Fear: The remaining three are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue once again attempts to shiv the Old Man with his Pocket Knife. He rolls one Slash, so his target loses one Action. He then flees into the Kitchen for an Action, with passage through the Door making a Noise. They then Move into the western half of the Kitchen and Search (generating another Noise). After rolling two dice and getting one Slash / Success, they turn up a phreakin’ Machete!!! Finally, a Searched Token is placed in that space. 

2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes are rolled, so both Noise Tokens stay!

3. Give Fear: They're flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: From the hall, Green uses their first Action to move into Leatherface’s Room (generating a Noise) and then uses another Action to Search (for a second Noise). They get a single Slash, but the Flashlight adds one additional Success! A Flask and Gasoline is revealed, so they keep the Flask and Bury the Gas. The Sawyers shift a Searched Token from the Dining Room to that spot. In response, the Green Trespasser plays “Scrounge” which lets them get a free Item from the Upstairs Deck if there’s a Searched Token present! By some good fortune, they reveal and pick up a Green Car Battery!!! 

For their third Action they leave that room and enter the hall, generating a third Noise. Action four sees them move into the southern part of the hallway. Continuing this momentum, they drink from the Flask to get a free Action and use it to move into Grandpa’s Room, which adds a fourth Noise. Since there’s a Hide symbol in that room, the Green Trespasser immediate goes into stealth mode. In response to this, the Sawyer player tables “Skeletons in the Closet” for two Fear to raise the Panic Meter! This adds Grandpa to any space in the house, so the Sawyers place him in the southern half of his own room!  

2. Roll for Noise: Three Slashes are rolled, so only one Noise remains! 

3. Give Fear: One Token is flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free. They then spend two Fear to pick up another!  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man moves into and through the Kitchen for two Actions and then uses his last Action to try and Wallop the Blue Trespasser. They get a single Slash, augmented by one because of the "Bloody" room! After drawing a Heart and Leg injury, they decide to go for the Heart! 

3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.   

ROUND THREE

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Intent on scouting the house surroundings for a working vehicle, Grey Moves out onto the porch, generating a Noise in the process. Then they move onto the path space leading up to the front door and strike off two spaces east.

2. Roll for Noise: They roll a Slash, so the single Token is returned! 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue hacks at the Old Man with his Machete! They roll three Slashes (!!!), so the Cook loses three Actions and three Fear! He then flees into the backyard through the Door, making Noise in the process. Next they Move one space east and through the Barn entrance, generating another Noise. In response, the Old Man plays “Unexpected Horrors” for two Fear. It reveals “Picked Clean”, which moves a Searched Token from the Old Man’s Room to the Barn! He’d love to play “Out of Nowhere” for four Fear, but they aren't in the same Region, with Blue “Outdoors” and the Old Man still “Downstairs” in the House.     

2. Roll for Noise: No Slashes rolled, so both Noise Tokens stay!

3. Give Fear: Both Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green emerges from their Hiding place and risks moving close to creepy Grandpa for an Action. Thinking that this interloper is intent on his stash of Pokemon cards, the crusty ol' fuck rolls one die and gets a blank...no damage! Green then uses their second Action to Search in the same spot, making Noise. They get one Slash...but the Flashlight adds one additional Success! They get a Flask and an Orange Car Part, so they hedge their bet, keep the wheel and Bury the Flask. This prompts the Sawyers to move a Searched Token from the Study to that same space. She then moves north one space and out the Door for two more Actions, adding a second Noise.   

2. Roll for Noise: One Slash is rolled, so only one Noise is remains! 

3. Give Fear: One Noise Token is flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free then pay two Fear for a bonus card!

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his one remaining Action to chase after Blue. He then discards “Look What Your Brother Did!” for a free Move Action to get in front of the Barn Door. After discarding “Despair” for another Move, he then chucks out “Out of Nowhere” for a free Attack Action. The resulting Wallop dials up two Slashes, but Blue lucks out when the Old Man reveals a Brain and a Heart Injury, both of which get Buried!

3. His Actions are reset back to the full amount.   

ROUND FOUR

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses all of their Actions to enter the Junkyard, generating a single Noise. Whenever a Trespasser ends their Move or Run in the same space with a face-down Vehicle Card, they reveal it. It turns out to be the Blue Truck! 

2. Roll for Noise: They roll two Slashes, so the single Token is returned! 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue lashes out at the Old Man with his Machete! He rolls an insane three Slashes (!!!), so the decrepit creep loses three Actions and three Fear! He then flees out the front door, making Noise in the process and then barrels east for his third Action. For his final Action, he Runs into the Junkyard with Grey, generating two more Noise, one for the Action and one for the Door.

2. Roll for Noise: With one Slash rolled two Noise Tokens stay!

3. Give Fear: Two Noise Tokens are flipped to the Fear side and given to the Sawyers! As Blue ends its turn, the Cook pays four Fear to play “Out of Nowhere” (since they are now all in the same “region”) and basically teleports to the Junkyard. 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green Moves into the Hitchhiker’s Room for an Action, making Noise as the Door creaks open. For her second Action, she rifles around the room, netting “BBQ” and a Hammer. She keeps the latter and Buries the mystery meat. After using her third Action to Move one space deeper into the creepy boudoir, she makes Noise with her final Action to Search, turning up a whopping three Slashes! This lets her chose between Orange Keys, a Bone Shard, Gasoline and a Flask. She takes the Keys and Buries all the rest, including the Green Car Part. Both of the spaces in this room are now covered with Searched Tokens taken from the first floor of the house. Since this space has the Hidden Icon, Green vanishes into darkness!

2. Roll for Noise: Three Slashes are rolled, so all of the Noise is returned! 

3. Give Fear: No Fear for the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.   

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his one remaining Action to Wallop Blue, but he rolls blanks on both die! He then discards “Home Sweet Home” for a Free Attack Action, rolls again...and whiffs again!

3. Devoid of both Fear and - apparently - luck, the Sawyer player folds for the time being, resetting their Actions to four.

ROUND FIVE

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses an Action to move into the other half of the Junkyard. Unfortunately, there's no Vehicle there, just a Search-able spot. They then use two more Actions to Run through the Junkyard through the Door, making two Noise. Their last Action is spent arriving at the Vehicle space to the east of the property. By a stroke of good fortune they reveal the Orange Car! 

2. Roll for Noise: They roll two blanks, so no Tokens are returned! 

3. Give Fear: Both Fear Tokens go to the Sawyer Player!

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue swings at the Old Man with his Machete and rolls two Slashes, forcing the Cook to lose two Actions as well as the Fear he just received! After fleeing out the front door (making Noise en route) he then uses his third Action to Run towards the Orange Car in the southeast. His last Action is ignored. 

2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes rolled, so two Noise Tokens are returned!

3. Give Fear: n/a 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green emerges from Hiding, Runs two spaces into the upstairs hall for two Actions, generating two Noise. She then Moves to the Stairs for one Action and then down the Stairs for their last Action, making one more Noise. 

2. Roll for Noise: Two Slashes are rolled, so all but one Noise is returned! 

3. Give Fear: One Fear for the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his two Actions to close in on Blue and Gray. Discards “I Got Ya” for a free Move Action, entering their space. 

3. The Sawyer player resets his Actions.

ROUND SIX

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey spends an Action to use their Bandages to Bury Blue’s Brain Injury. Next they use the Swap Action to take the Pocket Knife from Blue! Finally they use an Attack Action to stab at the Cook, getting one Slash, so the Old Man reduces his Actions down to three!  

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue lunges wildly at the Old Man with his Machete, rolling one Slash. The Cook loses one Action and his remaining Fear! He then holds his three remaining Actions.  

2. Roll for Noise: n/a

3. Give Fear: n/a 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green bursts through the front door of the house via a Run, generating two Noise. She then Runs towards the Orange Car, making a third Noise, using a final Move action to reach the Vehicle and their fellow Trespassers. Their last Action is wasted since it takes two Actions to try and start the car! 

2. Roll for Noise: One Slash is rolled, so one Noise is returned! 

3. Give Fear: Two Fear is given to the Sawyers!

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man uses his Sweet Talk Ability to roll three Dice, getting two Slashes which equals two Fear. He does this again with his final Action, getting two more Slashes for two more Fear. He then discards "Easy Pickins", spends six Fear and raises the Panic Meter by one! This finally brings the Hitchhiker into the southeast corner of the map, one space away from the Orange Car!

3. The Sawyer player resets his Actions.

ROUND SEVEN

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses an Attack Action to stab at the Cook and rolls two Slashes, so the Old Man reduces his Actions down to two! After using the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Green, he uses his last two Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a blank!

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Blue Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Blue hacks away at the Old Man with his Machete! He rolls three Slashes, so the Cook loses his remaining Actions. He has no Fear right now, so that penalty doesn’t even apply. After using the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Gray, he then uses his two remaining Actions to try and Start the Car, but - once again - rolls a blank!

2. Roll for Noise: n/a

3. Give Fear: n/a 

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green uses the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Gray. She then uses two more Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a blank! FFS!!! 

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Sawyer Player

1. Draw Cards: They draw a single Sawyer Family Card for free.  

2. Take Sawyer Turns: The Old Man might be out of Actions, but he plays “Home Sweet Home” for a free Wallop on Blue! Unfortunately he pulls two Brains and a Heart... duplicate Injuries which are all Buried! He decides on a different tactic, playing Despair to get a free Move action and using Hogtie to haul Green out of the car one space north! 

The Hitchhiker moves one space for an Action and joins the fray, slashing at Blue with his Straight Razor with his second Action. He gets a Brain, a Foot and an Arm, so he applies the Foot Injury. For his last Action he slashes again...getting three more Slashes!!! This time it’s a Brain, a Heart and an Arm. Naturally, the Hiker picks the Arm, killing Blue and increasing the Panic Meter by one! Both Gray and Green get a Desperation Card!   

3. The Sawyers reset their Actions.

ROUND EIGHT

(NOTE: Trespassers can take turns in any order!)

Green Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Green uses one Action to break away from the Hogtie and get back into the car! He then uses two Actions to try and Start the Car, but rolls a f#@&ing blank! Again!!! 

2. Roll for Noise: n/a 

3. Give Fear: n/a

Grey Trespasser

1. Take Actions: Grey uses a Swap Action to pick up the Machete and attack the Hitchhiker. He gets two Slashes, so the Hiker reduces his Actions down to one! He then uses the Swap Action to take the Gas, Tire and Keys from Green, then his uses his last two Actions to try and Start the Car.

This time he rolls one Slash and the car's engine finally turns over! They speed away, leaving the livid Sawyers in the dust! 

Green and Gray escape!!!

***

REVIEW

THE GOOD

• It's innovative! There are so many clever ideas on display here, all adding up to a tense and immersive horror game. The first edition of Zombicide is the first time I encountered the concept of "noise" in a game, but its use there seemed more ham-fisted than harrowing. Here, adding Noise Tokens from Searching, Running and passing through Doors, and then trying to offset said Noise, is actually kinda fun. What remains is flipped to Fear which, in turn, is the currency the villains use to play cards and get extra Actions. It's simple but brilliant! Using a finite pool of five Search Tokens also prevents spamming the same spot over and over again with an elegant "cool down" system.
• It's thematic! I can't describe how many little touches from the film are baked right into the game's mechanics. For example: the Old Man can "Hogtie" Characters and drag them away, but then the Trespassers can break away on their own turn, just like Sally did during the movie's dinner scene. I also love seeing Trespassers try and creep past a dead-looking Grandpa, only to have him "come to" and vulpine hammer them in the noggin. All of the Items, especially the Personal Items, work in a very sensible intuitive manner and the Injury / Death card system is appropriately gruesome.    
• It's tense! I've only played the first scenario twice, but both times came down to a panic-filled finale where the Trespassers were frantically trying to start the car with a pair of lunatics bearing down on them. Sorry, but certain horror movie cliches exist for a reason and this game celebrates that!
• It's narrative! All of the scenarios link together, essentially acting as a prequel to the 1974 film! Hey, all of those abandoned cars and human remains had to come from somewhere...clearly these previous Trespassers didn't have that patented Sally Hardesty's will to live!  
• It's final! As I've previously mentioned, horror games like Alien: Fate of the Nostromo really suffer because it eschews player elimination. Welp, this one actually had the balls to follow through on that premise and - for that - I give the designers a respectful * slow clap*.
• It's mad and macabre! The Horror Tokens - as well as the game's grisly production design - really set the tone. Sure, the art in the Trick or Treat studios version is wonderful but, save for the hideous bag prop, it isn't particularly horrifying. This game's artwork, board, Sawyer minis, Panic Meter, Desperation Cards, Injuries...hell, even the friggin' dice...all adds up to a psychologically-discordant experience. Honestly, the only game that's more unconsciously creepy is the 70's version of Clue.  
• It's engaging! Whereas the Trick or Treat studios game is more light strategic, this one is downright tactical, with a lot more minutia to consider. Which Trespasser should take their turn first? Should you split up? Should I seek out Hiding spots? How do I deal with Injuries? The Sawyers are equally challenged. Should I burn Sawyer Cards for extra Actions and Attacks or try and time things perfectly for their main game effect? Should I drive the Panic Meter for reinforcements or just multi-task with the Old Man? There are a lot of interesting and surprisingly immersive choices here.  
• It's snappy! Turns fly by and using cubes to count down Actions really helps to keep things organized and clipping along! 

THE BAD

• Nothing to report...at least not at this stage. My only niggling concern is over game balance. In my solitaire play through, the Machete kept the Sawyers Fear-poor and the Cook couldn't hit a cow in the ass with a shovel, resulting in two of the three Trespassers getting out alive. In my follow up game with Chad, all three Trespassers survived. Now, that's not entirely surprising, since Chad's a wily dude and he also started the car on his first attempt! As I get a few more plays in, I'll be sure to update this space.

THE M'EH

• The Trespassers (and their lame, one-sided standees) are completely generic and have no asymmetrical powers to speak of, which will surely disappoint hard-core gamers. Given my theory that this game is actually the spiritual prequel to the 1974 film, I just view the Slaughterhouse Trespassers as generic walking sausage links, while The Board Game features the iconic characters we all know and love! 
• From this day hence, my meta-game is just to get Leatherface out on the board. I really tried to drive the Panic Meter in my game against Chad, but Ol' Junior still didn't show his apron-ed ass on the battlefield. And, trust me, there a lot of motivation to get him out there since he's exactly the sort of murderous juggernaut that you'd expect him to be.  

"So...What Game Do I Get?"

Are you a casual or inexperienced gamer and you just wanna experience the general vibe of the OG 1974 film? Then get The Board Game.

If you're a veteran of the hobby and you wanna pick up a well-designed, tactical, horror-themed game that delivers the goods on the creep-factor while presenting players with interesting choices, then snag Slaughterhouse! 

As for me, the two are different enough from one another that I plan to keep both. In fact, I can't wait to play both back-to-back for a Texas Chainsaw Massacre double feature! 

***

FINAL SCORE

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse scores five pips out of six with a slight down into that shallow grave the Hitchhiker's been rooting around in. 

Chainsaw Battle - Part One - The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game

In case you haven’t noticed, I kinda like horror movies. Hell, I wrote an entire dissertation on the subject in my OG blog, starting with embarrassingly-innocuous, unintentionally scary stuff that terrified me as a kid to more heady fright fare. For ten years I paid homage to the horror films that scared me spitless during the formative years of my life. 

One of those movies was Tobe Hooper's seminal 1974 horror film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Between the grimy production design, documentary-style cinematography, seamless performances and unrelenting pace, it's a flick that you don't so much watch as endure.  

So, when it was announced that renowned online horror retailer Trick or Treat Studios was producing a Texas Chainsaw Massacre board game designed by the same dude who brought us the promising-but-flawed Alien: Fate of the Nostromo, I added it to my pre-order list quicker than ol' Leatherface dropped Kirk like a bad habit. 

The game's gnarly art, provided by Terry Wolfinger, is nothing short of spectacular. 

So, what's the (meat) hook with this one? Well, I'll let the cooks at the ol' T&T roadside diner grind it out for me:

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a game of horror (Editor: Really? You don't say! LOL!) from designer Scott Rogers. The players' van has run out of gas, leaving them stranded and at the mercy of the Slaughter family! Work together and push your luck to escape. In this cooperative game, all players win or lose as a group. Pull tokens from a gruesome bag to take actions - but be careful, pulling too many may antagonize the Slaughter family! Player Count: 1-4, Play Time: 60 Minutes, Age Range: 14+

Dog will hunt.

Need to read the fine print on that dodgy-looking menu? Then click on the following link to find out if the "Franklin Fricassee" is gluten free via the game's lean rulebook, (sausage) linked right hur.    

TURN OVERVIEW

MOVE 

Take up to two free Move actions.

DRAW 

Draw tokens from the "Hideous Bag" until you choose to stop or you draw three of a kind of the same token, which ends your turn immediately.

ACTION 

Perform one Action for every Action Token drawn. Actions include Move, Search, Push a Character or Pick Up a revealed Token on your space or an adjacent space.

CLEANUP 

Place all Scavenged and drawn tokens back into the bag. 

***

PLAY-THOUGH

NOTE: I played the game without "Slaughter Mode" but with one Objective per character.

"It is all the more tragic in that they were young." Franklin, Sally and Big Ed about to embark on a nightmare. 

Franklin Turn One

MOVE - Franklin wheels out of the Van onto the right-most entrance point. He proceeds onto the shoulder of the road, adding one Bones tokens to the Tray. 

DRAW - He gets one Action, two Leatherface and two Bone Tokens. Leatherface tears through the Metal Door space and into the Hall, “breaking through” the intact door there and flipping it to its damaged side.

ACTION - Franklin uses his Action token to wheel one more space, revealing another Bone pile. Since he’s now stuck in the Brambles, he takes a Blood Splatter. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn One

MOVE - She follows in her brother’s wheelchair tracks, moving two spaces right behind him. 

DRAW - She ends up pulling two Bones and a single Action. Also Leatheface moves twice, wrecking the front door in the process. The Cook’s gonna be pissed.

ACTION -   Sally spends her Action token to move into Franklin’s space. Unfortunately, she’s also stuck in the Brambles and takes a wound. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Big Ed Turn One

MOVE - Our boi crosses the road by the Truck, Scavenging another Bones token. (NOTE: as far as I can tell, the Truck is only harmful if it moves into a Character’s space, not vice versa.) 

DRAW - He pulls a Leatherface token and the ogre moves southwest. He then gets three consecutive Bones tokens, ending his turn and resulting in a Blood Spatter from those persistently-thorny Brambles. 

ACTION - n/a

 CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Two

MOVE - As Franklin pushes himself eastward, the Hideous Bag’s complexion gets even worse, with a Leatherface and a Bones token being added in.

DRAW - A Leatherface token is drawn, so he moves to the crossroads. Soon he’s gonna hafta choose between chasing Sally or Ed. Next he pulls an Action token, so he decides to stop.

ACTION - He moves one space to the Graveyard and adds an Eye token to the tray.

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn Two

MOVE - Sally books it two spaces towards her brother, ending up one space behind him.

DRAW - She retrieves a Bones token and then one for ol’ Bubba. He moves a space towards Ed and is now literally just one space away. She draws an Action then stops! 

ACTION - Our heroine moves one space to the Graveyard.

*** OBJECTIVE COMPLETE ***

Franklin’s “Reports of Grave Robbing” Objective, which requires him to get to the Graveyard with one other Character, is done!

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Trio of terror: the Hitchhiker, the Cook and Grandpa.

Big Ed Turn Two

MOVE - Ed runs screaming off to the northwest, leaving Junior in the dust, adding a Slaughter Family Token and an Eye Token to the Tray. 

DRAW - He pulls two Bones tokens and a Leatherface, so Bubba falls into hot pursuit. Next he gets an Eye token and checks the Dining Room, revealing a Slaughter Family Token, which just adds another big dollop of "NOPE" to that miserable warren. Finally he gets an Action token and stops!

ACTION - Ed runs towards the Diner, stumbling upon some Gas, which he promptly snags. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Three

MOVE - Monsieur Hardesty stays put, looking to use his Special Ability to Search the Graveyard.

DRAW - Leatherface, two Bones and yet another Leatherface...yikes! Ed’s in trouble! Franklin doesn’t want to risk pulling a third Leatherface token, so he stops!

ACTION - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

I know it looks like Ed is chasing Leatherface here, but - trust me - it's the other way around!

Sally Turn Three

MOVE - Sally strikes off by herself, heading northeast towards the Generator and Scavenging a Photo and an Action Token for the Tray!

DRAW - She gets two Bones and a Leatherface! The maniac moves into Ed’s space, wounding him in the process. Since he now has two Blood Splatters, Ed Flees two spaces east. Now that there's a bit of space between Leatherface and Ed, Sally keeps drawing. She gets an Eye, so she looks at the Dry Lake, revealing Photos. She gets another Eye and looks at the space just south of the Lake and reveals an Action! Hmmmm...veddy tempting! She then pulls a Slaughter Family Token, which is placed on Grandpa’s first space. She finishes up by pulling her third Bones token, thus ending her turn. 

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Big Ed Turn Three

MOVE - Ed motors two spaces past the pile of Abandoned Cars, revealing a Slaughter Family Token and an Action Token for the tray. 

DRAW - He removes two Bones then a Leatherface token, so Junior moves one space, still pursuing Ed. (NOTE: I assume the rule where Leatherface has to change focus to a new victim after causing someone to flee only applies if he moves again on the same turn) A Photo Token is pulled, allowing him to look at the top card of the Search Deck. It’s a “Flashlight”, which he returns to the top of the deck. After he moves the Truck one space along the highway, Leatherface moves again...damn! Ed decides to end it there. 

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Four

MOVE - Knowing that the Draw Bag is absolutely toxic right now, Franklin heads north two spaces, adding a badly-needed Action Token to the Tray. 

DRAW - Leatherface moves...again he’s one space away from Ed! Franklin then pulls Bones and a badly-needed Action. He decides to stop.

ACTIONS - Grande Edward moves one space north, revealing an Eye for the Tray. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn Five

MOVE- She moves past the Generator and approaches the house, somehow collecting two more Bones en route! 

DRAW - Sally gets a Bones, an Action and a Slaughter token in quick succession, the latter of which adds Grandpa to the Dining Room! She doesn’t want to endanger Ed any further, so she decides to stop.

ACTIONS - She chooses to go north one space, which reveals and adds another Leatherface token to the Tray! FFS!!!

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

"Why, old Grandpa was the best killer there ever was!"

Big Ed - Turn Five

MOVE- The big man bolts along the northern hemisphere of the map, turning up two Slaughter Tokens for the tray! Seriously, can the contents of this bag possibly get any nastier?

DRAW - He pulls two Bones and an Action and decides to stop.

ACTIONS - Ed uses his Action to move, finally adding a precious Action Token to the Tray. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Six

MOVE - Hoping to dilute the wretched contents of the Hideous Bag, Franklin doggedly maneuvers two spaces along the front of the house, adding Bones and an Action token to the Tray. 

DRAW - He pulls one Action, one Leatherface (who moves towards Ed), one Photo (which lets him look at the "Flashlight" and move the Truck), one more Action, Bones and a third Action. Impressive!

ACTIONS - Who would have thought the wheelchair-bound dude would also be the speediest Character? Maybe these three Moves represent his roll down the hill at the start of the film? Whatever the rationale, Franklin adds a Slaughter Token and two (!!!) more Actions to the Tray! Unfortunately, this also puts him precariously close to Leatherface!

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn Six

MOVE - Sally back-tracks two spaces and gingerly opens the window leading to Grandma’s Room. Since that’s supposed to be on the second floor I can only assume that she climbed up a rain gutter like a rhesus monkey? (NOTE: unbroken Doors can be treated like a normal space or “broken through” for a free move, incurring a Blood Spatter. As a corollary, moving through a previously-broken portal automatically results in a Blood Splatter.) 

DRAW - She gets an Action, a Slaughter Family Token (placed on the Cook’s first space), Bones, an Action, Bones and a Leatherface. With Franklin and Ed equidistant, they opt for Leatherface to continue after Ed. Sally stops drawing.

ACTIONS - Sally bombs through the house, hitting up Grandma’s Room, the Stairs and the Hall. This reveals two Leatherface Tokens and an Action for the Tray.

*** OBJECTIVE COMPLETE ***

Sally's "The Old House" Objective, which required her to Scavenge the Token on the Stairs is now complete! 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Big Ed Turn Six

MOVE - Ed hustles two spaces south, intent on reaching the Generator and Searching. 

DRAW - He reveals a Leatherface token (moving the goon towards himself), an Eye (which lets him flip the token in the Killing Room - revealing an Action), an Action, another Eye (revealing a Slaughter Family Token near the Metal Door), Bones and another Action. He stops.

ACTIONS - He moves a single space to get to the Generator, searches and retrieves a "Flashlight"! The Truck moves. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Seven

MOVE - Franklin continues to be an MVP, moving towards the Diner and unearthing two more Actions for the Tray! Wow!

DRAW - Action, Bones x 2, Leatherface (moves towards Ed), Photos ("Help!" revealed and placed back on the top of deck, Truck moves), Eye (reveals Keys in the Bone Room!), a Slaughter Family Token (added to second Cook space) and a Leatherface (the brute moves one space towards Ed). He then decides to stop.

ACTION - Moves one space northwest of the Diner, adding Bones to the Tray. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn Seven

MOVE -  She tip-toes two spaces into the Bone Room. 

DRAW - She pulls out a Leatherface (he moves towards Ed), some Bones, an Action, an Eye (revealing a Slaughter Family Token at the Diner, sparing Franklin a trip there), another Action and a second Leatherface! He attacks Ed, causing a Blood Spatter and the trucker flees three spaces! Sally stops drawing! 

ACTION - She picks up the Keys and gingerly starts to open the Bone Room window. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally can't escape the feeling that she's being watched.

Big Ed Turn Seven

MOVE - n/a, since has three Blood Spatters.

DRAW - Ed uses the "Flashlight" and draws Bones and an Action. Naturally he keeps the Action and throws the Bones back in the Hideous Bag! He then draws four more Actions (!!!) in a row and then stops!

ACTIONS - He tears through the Brambles and emerges in front of the house, adding a Slaughter Family and an Action Token to the Tray and picking up a second can of Gas! Now that the survivors have everything, Leatherface becomes Enraged, and the matching token is added to the leftmost track on his board! 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Eight

MOVE - Franklin moves two spaces towards the Van.

DRAW - He reveals two Actions, one Eye (in turn revealing a third Gas can in the Brambles by the Road!), Leatherface (who lopes towards Sally), Action x 2 and a Leatherface (he closes in on Sally). He decides to stop drawing.

ACTIONS - Franklin motors four spaces, emerging from the Brambles onto the Road next to the Van. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn Eight

MOVE - She extricates herself from the window and moves onto the path directly by the front door of the house.

DRAW - She pulls Bones, Action x 2, Leatherface (he jogs towards Sally), Action, Bones x 2...the latter of which ends her Draw phase involuntarily.

ACTIONS - Sally moves three spaces, right in front of the Road, adding an Action Token to the Tray and taking a Blood Spatter from the Brambles. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

It's not looking good for our boi Ed.

 Big Ed Turn Eight

MOVE - n/a

DRAW - opts not to draw. Whenever this happens, Leatherface moves 1 Space, closing in on Ed.

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - n/a

Franklin Turn Nine

MOVE - He moves one space, somehow propelling himself Evel Knievel-style into the Van.

DRAW - He opts not to draw. Leatherface moves onto Ed’s space. Instead of taking a “fourth” Blood Spatter, the Gas is dropped on the spot and Ed immediately moves onto the Meat Hook in the Killing Room! Ed is killed and turned into brisket! As a result, Kirk finally decides to haul his chicken-shit ass out of the van! 

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP  - n/a

I hope they had the decency to at least give him a good dry rub.

Sally Turn Nine

MOVE - She backtracks one space towards the fuel, hoping to draw enough Actions to shove Leatherface away from the Gas! 

Sally seems pretty calm here, all things considered. 

DRAW -   Instead, she draws a Bones Token and a Leatherface! The lunatic moves into her space, she takes a Blood Spatter and Flees three spaces into the Van! It’s all up to Kirk now! 

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Let's hope Kirk doesn't end up as dead as that denim look he's sporting.

Kirk Turn Nine

MOVE - He moves two spaces, crossing the Road and entering the Brambles. 

DRAW - Leatherface moves onto his space, causing a Blood Spatter and causing him to Flee one space towards the Gas. He continues to Draw...getting Photos (he looks at "Help!", top-decks it and then moves the Truck), a Slaughter Family Token (the Cook enters play at the Diner!), Bones...and three Actions! He decides to stop. 

ACTIONS - He uses two Actions to fetch the two Gas (you can Pick Up stuff in adjacent spaces), then moves one Space, revealing a Photo which is placed in the tray. 

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Ten

MOVE - n/a

DRAW - To prevent an auto-move from Leatherface he pulls a single Token. He gets Bones and immediately stops!

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn Ten

MOVE - n/a

DRAW - She draws a single Token just to prevent an auto-move from Leatherface. Unfortunately, it's a Leatherface, so he still closes in! 

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Kirk Turn Ten

MOVE - He moves two Spaces through the Brambles.

DRAW - After revealing one Action he then proceeds to pull three successive Bones, forcing him to stop!  

ACTIONS - He moves one Space onto the Road...literally right in front of the Truck!!!

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Franklin Turn Eleven

MOVE - n/a

DRAW - Again, he removes a single Token from the Bag just to prevent an auto-move from Leatherface. He gets an Action and stops!

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Sally Turn Eleven

MOVE - n/a

DRAW - She opts not to draw, so Leatherface closes in a single space! 

ACTIONS - n/a

CLEANUP - All tokens go back into the bag.

Kirk Turn Eleven 

MOVE - Kirk moves into Van.

*** OBJECTIVE COMPLETED ***

Kirk only has one Blood Splatter, so his "Mostly Bloodless" Objective is complete!

Victory for the survivors!

REVIEW

PROS

• It's right some purdy...er, hideous! I meant hideous! *A-hem*, sorry, I mean that the production values are absolutely amazing. Artist Terry Wolfinger totally knocked it out of the park! Not only is the board a masterpiece of design elegance, the portraiture for all of the characters is stunningly realistic. Plus, it's the only game in my entire library with a "Hideous Bag" of stitched together flesh, so that's worth something.
• It's mechanically appropriate! The press-your-luck, bag-building mechanic - riding a wave of hotness now thanks to games like Orleans and The Quacks of Quedlinburg - is perfectly suited to a horror game. Using the game's parameters to mitigate bad odds by tactically seeking out and adding positive tokens to the bag is a very interesting part of the game's strategy. 
• It's immersive! Between the environments depicted on the map, the inclusion of the entire Slaughter Family, your thematic Character Powers and the fun Item Cards, the game does evoke the mood of the original film surprisingly well. 
• It's easy! Move, add new Tokens to the Tray, press your luck by drawing Tokens, resolve 'em as you pull 'em and then put all the Tokens back in da sack! The fact that the Slaughter Family A.I. is automatically run on a player's turn is ingenious. As a result, the game play feels quick and breezy!
• It's a roller coaster! Look at the match I played: at first I pulled so many bad Tokens I thought I was sunk. I managed to overcome that and rally, but even at the very end, there's no guarantee that you're gonna pull only Actions. I really like the game's unpredictability.
• It's actually co-operative! Working together to problem solve is key to survival!    

CONS

• It's a bit too easy. Veteran gamers won't be challenged by the the default settings, so activating "Slaughter Mode" (which forces you to keep drawing Tokens from the Bag if you get a Leatherface token) is a must. Also, IMHO, you need to have at least one Objective per player.
• It's needlessly convoluted. In addition to the aforementioned questions that I posed during the play-through, there are a host of other in-game scenarios that only now getting a decent (if unofficial) FAQ. For example: the rule book just flat out doesn't answer where the Cook ends up when you push him. Hey, I understand that game publishers don't want to freak out casual gamers by including a big honkin' rule book, but I'd rather that than end up with a vague-ass pamphlet that doesn't anticipate questions. To illustrate this: the unique Character abilities, as printed on the Character Mats, really begs for  elaboration and examples. The reference card text that summarizes Token effects during the Draw Phase is also so murky (not to mention vaguely contradictory to the rulebook) that it probably shouldn't even have been included at all. Add in some unforgivable spelling mistakes ("meet" for "meat" anyone?) and you have an instruction manual that screams out for a final pass.
• It's counter-intuitive. In my match, it actually made sense to let Big Ed, saddled with the "Mostly Bloodless" Objective to just die so I could switch to an un-wounded Character. I don't know about you, but that kinda seems at odds with the game's survival theme! 

***

FINAL THOUGHTS

After my play-through I couldn't help but think back to the unmitigated disaster that was the Friday the 13'th game.

The funny thing is: both employ the draw tokens / press-your-luck mechanic, but whereas The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game has a Character Mat with a thematically-appropriate Character Power, the Friday the 13'th game gave players a generic portrait and a math calculator. See how this works?     

Sure, this new title might have some rules vagaries and challenge issues, but at least it lovingly honors the original source material and evokes shades of that original classic film.

All told, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Board Game scores 3 pips out of 6, with a big ol' tilt up towards Grandma's bedroom window.

NEXT UP: I do a play-through and review for Prospero Hall / Funko Games rival offering The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Slaughterhouse game!   

***

BONUS: EASY-TO-MISS RULES AND CLARIFICATIONS

• If your Character currently has three or more Blood Spatter tokens, you don't get your two free start-of-turn moves.
• You may move through fellow Characters or even Slaughter Family standees but not into a space containing the Truck.
• If both Gas and Key spaces on your Character Card are occupied, you have to leave the Gas / Keys you picked up in the space where you found it.
• If you don't draw tokens during the Draw Phase, Leatherface moves based on his current movement rate.
• Place Slaughter tokens face down on the Family Tracking Board, first on Grandpa then on the Cook and then on the Hitchhiker.
• Whenever you look at the top card of the Search Deck (either because you drew a Photo Token or you Search during the Action Phase), you move the Truck. Characters "hit" by the Truck (I.E. the Truck moved into their space or they were pushed into the Truck's space), they take one Blood Splatter Marker and move one space in any direction. If the Truck hits Leatherface, put him back in the Killing Room and discard the right-most token on his track. If the Truck hits any other Slaughter family member, permanently remove them from the game! NOTE: Franklin's ability just moves the Truck once when used. 
• If you draw three Leatherface Tokens on your turn, put one of them on the left-most uncovered space on his track of the Family Board and then end your Draw Phase.
• Slaughter Mode: if you draw a Leatherface Token you must draw another token.
• After taking damage from Leatherface you Flee equal to the number of Blood Spatter tokens on your Character Card.
• You don't reveal Scavenge Tokens when Fleeing from Leatherface or if you are Pushed.
• If Leatherface still has movement left after attacking someone he goes after the next closest Character.
• If you already have three or more Blood Spatter Tokens on your Character Card when Leatherface attacks you, place any Gas and Keys on your current space and move to a Meat Hook space.
• You only take damage from Brambles if you end your turn in one of those spaces.
• When you push the Cook he goes to the next named space in clockwise order.
• When you move through an unbroken door or window you can spend an Action to move onto the token itself without breaking it. Alternately you can spend an Action to "break through" these things, flipping the token to the damaged side and then taking a blood spatter. Any subsequent movement through a door costs one action and incurs a blood spatter.
• Leatherface will choose to break through doors and windows if it's the shortest path to a victim.     
• The Scavenge Token Reference Card is misprinted: your turn doesn't end when you draw three matching tokens, just your Draw Phase.  
• The Hitchhiker only damages characters who enter his space, so if there's a victim in the Van when someone spawns (or vice versa), they are unharmed. 
• You can push a character in the same space or an adjacent space.
• The Meat Hook escape attempt starts on the turn after victims were put there.
• When attempting a Meat Hook escape, you have to draw tokens until one of two things happens. NOTE: any non-action tokens drawn happen as normal unless prevented by something, the False Alarm or Flashlight for example. The Action tokens you draw can only be spent to get off the Meat Hook! 
• You don't get to spend the action tokens (except for spending 4 to get off the meat hook), and you DEFINITELY don't get to move your replacement character (as that would require effectively starting the turn over, and would also require you to ignore the "do not move" restriction). Drawing a Leatherface token during the process not only finishes off the character but also moves ol' Bubba as well!
• Objectives that involve characters being in the same place at the same time can happen on any character's turn.